Sunday, March 4, 2012

The Appeal of M/M Spankings

(Picture courtesy of Sting Pictures.)

A while ago, Pandora Blake wrote a very interesting post in which she explained why M/M scenes appeal to her. Today I would like to tell you about my own M/M fantasies, their origins and why scenes featuring a male spanker as well as a male spankee are my favourite ones when I am in the role of an observer.

Of course, the easiest argument that could explain the appeal of M/M scenes for a heterosexual woman, especially if she is a switch like I am, is that there is a person who is of potential sexual interest on the top as well as on the bottom side of the scene. Just as with many heterosexual men who enjoy F/F scenes because they feature only women.

But in my case, it is definitely much more than that. First of all, the scenes which I fantasize about are strictly non-sexual. They are formal and often only involve a very low degree of nudity. In fact, two of the scenes which I find most attractive are fully clothed spankings or back whippings with the recipient being fully clothed from the waist down. Bare bottom spankings are prominently featured in my fantasies as well, mostly because I love the ritual of pulling down one's trousers for a spanking and because it allows me to fantasize of a higher degree of severity and developing marks. The persons administering the CP, on the other hand, are always completely dressed in my dream scenarios.

I think a big part of the appeal for me comes from the traditionally male societies I fantasize about, and their rules. The scenarios are usually set in a military / uniformed environment that involves a rank system, strict behavioural rules, toughness and a code of honour. A naval ship featuring young recruits / midshipmen is one of my favourites.

In my view, one of the reasons why I always liked M/M is that I felt much more comfortable among males than among females when I was a teenager. I never saw myself as sexy, I wasn't keen on expensive clothes and make-up, and I was most interested in those subjects at school which are traditionally a male dominated domain. Being a geek, I felt rather out of place among my female classmates. Except for my best friend Andrea, with whom I stuck together all the time. Until she decided to take a different route, that is. From that time on, I mostly watched female groups from the outside, and decided that there was too much behind-the-back talk for my taste. I was sure that I couldn't beat the others at attracting males, though, so I didn't aim for that. Instead, I tried to be accepted as an equal buddy by the guys whom I liked. My biggest reward was, for example, if we played a game divided into two groups, one male and one female, and I was allowed to play in the male group.

My fictional heroes at the time where, for example, the boys from Castle Schreckenstein who decided to live like honourable knights. Or Rusty, who was raised by a group of soldiers and lived among them as a young corporal with his brave German shepherd Rin Tin Tin. Of course, Wesley Crusher of Star Trak TNG was another role model. And I enjoyed watching police series like Police Academy, S.W.A.T. and 21 Jump Street (I didn't fancy the young guys, I was much more a fan of Captain Fuller). Together with some excerpts from naval films, they shaped my fantasies as a teenager and still do today, since those fantasies haven't changed too much over time.

(Picture courtesy of Spanking Central.)

There are several ingredients that are vital parts of all of my M/M scenarios. I never wanted the scenarios to be purely domestic, so the spankees in my fantasies are usually young cadets. But at the same time, it is important for me that there is a close relationship between the spanker and the spankee, so I always make the spankees the spankers' special protégés. Since I like the idea of honour and growth, the bottoms are by no means deserving or bratty young men. Quite the contrary, they are high potentials who are bound to become responsible and respected leaders themselves one day. Then they are going to be the ones to guide others and to be on the administering end of motivational and disciplinary CP. Accordingly, the tops' authority is based on the fact that they have undergone a similar development. The spankings themselves aren't so much about punishing sins, they are much more about growth and inurement, and they are prescribed by the strict rules, the need for extreme discipline and the high expectations towards the spankees. Due to the high demands which the young men put on themselves, the CP is almost always at least semi-consensual.

I am usually an observer in these scenarios, but I also go into the mindsets of the tops as well as the bottoms. Still, the nature of my fantasies was surely partly responsible for the fact that it took me very long to understand that spanking could be more for me than something that just happens in my mind. It was only when I started exploring the online world of erotic CP that the thought of me taking part in real spanking play seriously occurred to me.

Today, I am actively living out M/F, F/M and sometimes also F/F scenarios. I am much less uncomfortable amongst women than I used to be and have quite a few female friends. And I have discovered my own feminine side. But still, M/M fantasies continue to hold a very high appeal for me. As bedtime fantasies or in video clips, M/M is as a matter of fact still my favourite constellation.

Concerning videos and pictures, this is probably even more true than ever. One reason for this is that M/M scenarios of the kind I am interested in are rare, while M/F, F/F and to a lesser degree F/M pictures and videos are everywhere. Another reason is that x/F or F/M blogs and videos often carry a certain gender message with them which I don't like, either that only women as natural submissives should be on the receiving end of spankings or that it's deserving men only who are in need of a strict woman to guide them. Luckily, I haven't read such nonsense about M/M, so it is much easier for me to enjoy it without having to be reminded of those narrow-minded concepts.

Funnily, I can also enjoy stronger reactions when it comes to male spankees. While I am very much into rather stoic reactions, and this is surely one part that I like about M/M, in my age-play fantasies some of the younger characters aren't especially tough. Usually there is a good explanation for that, for example bad experiences or health problems, but the fact remains that stronger reactions in M/M scenarios work much better for me than in other constellations. I guess that's because with male spankees I don't have to think about the question whether being soft fulfils certain female stereotypes and expectations towards women which I don't like. And, in contrast to some F/M scenarios, the part of a woman reducing a man to a contrite and obedient something is missing as well.

(Picture courtesy of Dreams Of Spanking.)

I currently also think about playing out some of my M/M fantasies with Ludwig, with me playing the part of a male spankee. In some of them I would surely try to be brave and tough, but I would also like to play one of my younger and softer fantasy characters. I wouldn't want to do a scene like that as a little girl, which surely has partly to do with the things I mentioned above and also with the fact that I once really was a little girl. In order to let go and be weaker in a scene than I normally am, I have to be assured that I am just playing a character. As a woman who plays a boy there is neither a big risk of fulfilling any clichés, nor a high chance that the scene could suddenly become too real for me and make me feel weak in a bad way.

In my fantasy worlds, there were always some female characters as well. Today, the idea of a formal scene with a male top and several male bottoms plus one female character, be it a top or a bottom, is the most intriguing one for me when it comes to spanking videos. I could even play a part in that scenario and still have M/M scenes in the clip. Unfortunately, I have never seen that combination on video and I don't think that it is likely to happen.

Because the few spanking producers that make non-sexual M/M scenes, like Spanking Central, are mostly aimed at gay viewers. None of the ones I know produces big films with several spankees at a time. And even if one of them should one day decide to do so, why should they integrate a woman? The majority of F/F, M/F and F/M producers wouldn't consider to mix their videos with an occasional M/M scene, either, so why should gay producers jump in to fulfil the dream of a (or maybe a few, I think I am not alone with it) heterosexual woman / women?

I can imagine Pandora to do such a mixed scene one day, but making it a big scene with several men would be too expensive from my point of view, especially given the fact that the M/M scenes surely aren't the most popular ones on Dreams Of Spanking. And while I am of course very thankful for Pandora's approach to include all gender constellations, I wouldn't expect her to invest such a high amount of money into a scene that might only be interesting for a minority of her viewers.

Ludwig and I even thought about the question whether we couldn't produce such a scene ourselves. But frankly that would mean investing hundreds or maybe even more than one-thousand Euro, if we managed to find suitable models at all. And while a part of me is sad about the idea that there isn't even one clip that features this special scenario, videos in general are not so important to me that I would be willing to invest such a high amount of money. I can have a very nice holiday with Ludwig for the money instead. And sometimes, the reality can't be as good as the fantasy, anyway. I am glad that there are a few good M/M clips out there for me to watch. Apart from that, I will stick to the pictures which I have in my mind, and to the things which I can try out with Ludwig disguising myself as a boy.


Pandora Blake said...

Amazing post! I love reading more about what you get out of M/M and the sort of thing you'd like to see more of. Lots of inspiration here for future scenes :)

The most interesting part of this post for me is where you say that playing a younger or more vulnerable boy allows you to tap into your own vulnerability in a way that feels safe. I've heard many women say this about playing schoolgirls/little girls before, but I think you're the first person I've heard talk about using a masculine role to explore vulnerability as well as strength/stoicism. It's a bit of a politically radical thing to do, although I'm sure that's not your primary reason.

It also makes perfect sense in the context of your natural stoicism, which isn't often seen as erotic in a woman, and so I can understand how playing more vulnerable female roles might feel annoyingly like capitulation.

You hear about men playing female roles in sexual roleplay to let them express their vulnerable/feminine side, and I've heard female spankos talk about playing male roles to explore their own taste for stoicism and bravery. This flips that very neatly and appealingly on its head. Now, where are the men playing female roles because it lets them be a strong, stubborn heroine? :)

Olli said...

Yeah, what an amazing post, indeed...

I got scenes of a bunch of crooks into my head, a count of 5, looking like wild and impetuous men. And 4 of them are, but the fifth is actually a woman, only dressed up like a man...

Well the group is caught by a rival gang and everyone of them is being roped and corporally punished (what else...? ;-) - even the gangmaid. At first they all get hard canestrokes upon their trousers, until the leader of the dominating gang orders to undress the delinquents.

At that point of my fantasy they certainly realize the true sex of this one groupmember but they won't care about it.

I like M/M CP-scenes as well as F/M and others, and I have to confess that mixed stories even turn me on - and I can imagine to be on both sides of the cane in this one...

Kaelah said...

@ Pandora:
It would be very interesting to know how many of the men who play female characters in order to show their more vulnerable side have chosen to do so because for them only females are vulnerable. And it would be interesting to know how many mainly play a character of the opposite sex because they don't feel comfortable being vulnerable in kinky play as long as they are themselves. The latter would be similar to my main reason for wanting to be a boy when playing a more vulnerable character. But I think there is a kind of „political“ agenda behind it as well. Or, rather, a personal limit. I have read so much nonesense about „deserving women“, vulnerability and obedience, tears and contrition and the „natural“ roles of men and women that I simply can eroticize little girl fantasies any more. At least not from the bottom perspective. It is simply too loaded for me and brings up references to attitudes that make me want to freak out and scream.

@ Olli:
Thanks for sharing your fantasies! Hmm, being a gangmaid sounds cool to me. Let's hope for more mixed gender scenes in the future!

Pandora Blake said...

Kaelah, I can certainly sympathise with you regarding the mainstreaming of female submission. I have increasingly little time for websites and people which focus exclusively on /F dynamics. But I do like little girl fantasies still...

Olli, I LOVE your gang fantasy! In my head I think they are highwaymen. It would make an amazing film. There are so many cool movies I could make if I could find a kinkster who owned a private wood! Or a public forest where we could be sure of privacy...

Kaelah said...

@ Pandora:
I think it is great that you don't let any narrow-minded views make any of your kinky fantasies become less attractive for you. I never really was into little girl scenarios, anyway, and I had fantasised mostly about M/M long before I ever heard the term "erotic spanking". So, not playing out little girl scenarios doesn't really feel like a big loss. And who knows, maybe I will try it one day, with Ludwig in private...

A private wood would be so cool! I wished I owned one for private spanking play as well as taking outdoor pictures and shooting outdoor spanking clips.