Saturday, March 31, 2018

Kaelah's Corner (Mar 2018):
Boobies? (Part 2)

This is the second part of my post about boobies and the question whether to show them in pictures or not. In part 1 I explained why I had decided not to expose my breasts in the photos posted on this blog when I started blogging and sharing pictures. As an anonymous commenter observed correctly, it all comes down to keeping at least a certain amount of control while already sharing a lot about myself and therefore making myself vulnerable.

Today's post is about what has changed in the meantime and why I am comfortable with showing my breasts today. And I will also answer the question of how much my personal boundaries have really stretched and where my limits are now.

So, let's start with looking at the changes that have taken place during my now almost nine years as a blogger. I'll take the same categories that I already used in my last post when I explained the reasons why I didn't want to show any frontal nudity at first:

My own ki
nky preferences
Those haven't changed much over time when it comes to frontal nudity. I still am not too fond of frontal nudity as a viewer of spanking porn. But there are mainly two scenarios in which I find frontal nudity or full nudity interesting. The first one is an erotic spanking scene. I've seen a few of those over the years which I've really liked. In such a scene full nudity is okay or even attractive for me because it fits the context and the dynamics between spanker and spankee. There is even one concrete scenario in this category which Ludwig and I want to publish on video. In his comment on my fun post about kinks that don't fit Canelover said that in his opinion severe spankings and sensual scenes don't go together very well. While I generally agree, there is one scenario that has a high attraction for me which combines exactly these two things: a severe caning embedded in an erotic sensual scene. After having done my first severe caning as an experiment without any additional storyline and my second hard caning within a consensual, empowering but formal, scenario, this is the scene which is still missing in Ludwig's and my view. And for this scene being nude seems to be the most fitting choice. The second scenario is the one depicted in the photo accompanying this post. As some of you might remember this picture belongs to a set of nude pictures in the snow that I published way back in 2010. I love taking erotic photos outdoors, but so far Ludwig and I always made sure that only pictures not showing any frontal nudity were published. While I still have my limits concerning that aspect, I don't mind posting pictures depicting a part of my breasts anymore. That allows for different beautiful positions and perspectives. When it comes to nudity in nature, I think getting a glimpse of a breast can complete a picture and make it more sexy and natural while still being subtle. And so with this post you get to see a photo that was initially meant for our private collection only.

Fear of objectification
Over time I have learned that the readers of our blog, those who really care about the person behind the picture, won't objectify me or think I am available for at least mental (ab)use. Showing frontal nudity won't change anything about that. And those who are just looking for pictures for a quick gratification aren't a threat to me, either. First of all, that doesn't mean they see me as an object. And secondly, even if anyone had fantasies about how to use "that girl in the picture" in a way I wouldn't be comfortable with, this has nothing to do with me as a person. It is just the image that is used, not me.

Keeping control of how the pictures are used
To keep it short: I've found out that this is impossible, no matter how hard you try. I can for instance post a kinky picture showing my bottom with marks from a consensual, empowering scene, together with a clear description what that scene was all about. And I can still find that very photo in another place accompanied by a comment about how that submissive slut in the picture has just been punished by her husband for being negligent in her household chores and how she is now ready to suck his cock and be buttfucked. Not showing any frontal nudity doesn't mean that people can't put a picture in a very explicit sexual context or in a context that makes me feel uneasy. However, interpretations of strangers again have nothing to do with me as a person. Still I have to admit that seeing one's picture being set in a completely different context can be unsettling, even more so when it depicts oneself in a vulnerable, intimate way.

Not wanting to be reduced to my private bits
Again, after so many years of blogging, I don't fear that this could happen just because I post a picture showing my breasts from time to time. Writing about my kink and my thoughts will always be the central focus of this blog and my pictures won't be just about private parts, either. So I don't think there is any risk of being reduced to private bits, at least not by our readers. And if someone comes across one of my pictures elsewhere and is only interested in the intimate parts, then again this isn't about me as a person, so it doesn't really matter, either.

So much about how my views and fears concerning frontal nudity have changed. But how much have my boundaries stretched?

When I searched for a picture to accompany this post, I realised that I obviously still have my limits when it comes to frontal nudity. While I am comfortable with showing more of my breasts, I still don't want them to be the main focus of the picture. I like to publish kinky photos and photos combining nudity with nature, but I still want them to be subtly erotic only and not to focus on private parts. Maybe it is still about the fears mentioned above, maybe it is still about keeping a bit of myself private, most possibly a combination of both. Now matter why, the limit is still there.

Plus, I've found out that I am still not very keen on prominently showing my nether regions. I think I would be okay with them being slightly visible in a picture taken from the side or something like that, but I came across several pictures that showed me directly from the front which I didn't feel comfortable publishing, even though Ludwig considered them more beautiful. I'm not sure whether this boundary might be stretched a bit, too, some day in the future. But until that happens, I will stick to what Bob S's advice in the comment section of the first part of my post and only show as much of myself as I am comfortable with. And I sincerely hope you'll enjoy what you see!

Friday, March 23, 2018

Have You Got A Cane With You?

Ludwig and I usually don't watch much TV. But in the recent weeks I have zapped a bit through the channels in the evening when I was too tired after a busy day to do something more productive. Some days ago I came across an older German hospital TV series called Für alle Fälle Stefanie.

It's basically a feelgood show, not as dramatic as many of the American hospital TV series. Instead, you are watching doctors and nurses with good hearts who not only cure their patients physically, but also help to solve family quarrels, bring people together and so on. Just the right thing after a stressful day when one's head is already dull.

So I watched a bit and relaxed. There were several patients whose stories were told in the episode I watched, one of whom probably was (I didn't watch the beginning of the episode) a single father who put his life at risk because he refused to quit smoking even though his lungs were in bad shape. Every time he had the chance, he went outside to secretly smoke a cigarette.

One evening when his roommate seemed to be sleeping, he went out on the balcony in front of the room and lit another cigarette. His roommate, who had quit smoking a few years earlier, saw him, though, and pushed the button to call a nurse.

Now, we all know that the plot and dialogues in this kind of series aren't realistic, but I really didn't expect what happened then: First of all, it wasn't one of the nurses who came into the room, but the doctor who had already tried, unsuccessfully, to convince our unreasonable single father to quit smoking. The roommate pointed to the balcony and made a gesture to indicate that someone was smoking again. The doctor signaled him to remain quiet and tiptoed to the balcony.

Then came the really unexpected part as the following dialogue occurred between the doctor and his patient:

Doctor: "Mr Leiser, I will have to fetch a fire extinguisher!"
Patient (throwing away the cigarette and swallowing the smoke): "What a beautiful moon tonight."
Doctor: "You are very ill. If I ever catch you again..."
Patient: "Have you got a cane with you?"
Doctor: "... I'll have to report you and then you'll have to pay for the whole party. There will always be someone who snitches on you, okay?"

Now I was awake! Did I really get that right? Did the guy really ask the doctor out of nowhere whether he might cane him? There was no mistaking he meant, because he used the German word "Rohrstock" which is the kind of cane used for whipping someone. The words for a walking cane and the like are different.

Well, I checked the online media centre to make sure that my tired kinky mind hadn't played a trick on me. It turned out that I had heard correctly. Who would write such a strange dialogue, I wonder? A fellow kinkster? I mean, the episode was aired for the first time in 2003, not in the sixties! And would anyone really ask a doctor that kind of question, kinky or not? I suppose I wouldn't. Would you?

Anyhow, it was a funny discovery. The thing is, there are famous scenes with spanking references in several movies and series which most of us know. And there are the kind of series and films where I would suspect that a kinky reference might come up. But in this case it caught me flat-footed.

By the way, of course the father did quit smoking in the end after he had found out his son had started smoking, too. So, they both promised each other to never smoke a cigarette again. And they lived happily ever after...

What I would like to know: have you ever had a similar experience with an unexpected spanking reference? In which movie or series? And what was it about? I would love to hear your stories. Please leave a comment if you like!

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Kaelah's Corner (Feb 2018):
Boobies? (Part 1)

Welcome to another slightly belated edition of Kaelah's Corner. I needed a while to compose today's post in my head, so I didn't manage to write it down before March (unfortunately February is such a short month). I've also decided to split it into two parts, because it would be too long otherwise.

As the title already indicates, this set of posts is about boobies. To be precise, it is about the question whether to show them in pictures or not. In my recent post Pushing Boundaries I said that I don't have the strong urge anymore to stretch my boundaries when it comes to kink. Last year, though, this post led to curious questions.

The reason wasn't something I had written, but the first and third picture that accompanied the post. Some of you might think: What's so special about those pictures? But those who know me for a longer time will realise that with said pictures, I had overcome one of my former strict limits. The picture show one of my breasts including the nipple. Before I posted them, I had always said that I would never show any frontal nudity in my pictures. That included the nether regions as well as my breasts - I sometimes showed them partly, but always covered up at least the nipples.

In the comment section, James M asked what had changed, and an anonymous commenter said he or she thought that I was about to show my more playful side with those pictures. James M also mentioned that he knows one spanking model who regretted having shown her boobies once in a film, which I found very interesting, and thus I decided that the question why I have changed my mind concerning this aspect would be a nice topic for a post. Today's part will be about why I decided not to show my breasts when I started posting pictures and spanking clips. The next edition of Kaelah's Corner will be about what has changed.

So, let's start from the beginning. Why was frontal nudity including the breasts once a hard limit for me?

I think this post from 2010 titled "Pictures of You" gives you a very good idea of my mindset and my fears when I started publishing pictures of myself on this blog. In short, I already had the feeling that I made myself very vulnerable by writing too openly not only about my erotic fantasies, but also about my fears, flaws and so on while at the same time posting intimate erotic photos showing not only my bottom, but also my face. Thus I wanted to keep at least something for myself. And that was my breasts and private bits.

There were several concrete reasons why I didn't want to show any frontal nudity which were:

My own kinky preferences
As I wrote in one of my posts on spanking porn, I am not too much into frontal nudity as a viewer of spanking porn. The reason is that I have a thing for formal scenarios which don't include sexual humiliation, and frontal nudity usually doesn't fit these scenarios. I like to watch more explicit BDSM scenes from time to time, but when it comes to spanking, I'm not into close-ups of private parts. The pictures and clips I am interested in making and comfortable posting are about spanking and spanking-related topics only. While they are supposed to be sexy, I want them to be subtle and initiate kinky fantasies rather than to show close-ups of private bits.

Fear of objectification
As I wrote in my post Pictures of You, posting erotic photos went along with a fear of being objectified by the viewers and of seeming to be available as a person for at least mental ab(use) by total strangers who see my pictures. Not showing any frontal nudity at the time seemed to decrease the risk of coming over as wanting to be objectified.

Keeping control of how the pictures are used
When I started posting pictures and clips, I was very afraid that they could be taken out of their context and linked to a new one. That fear is related to the fear of objectification. I didn't want my photos and films to be used in a context I wasn't comfortable with. Not showing any frontal nudity seemed to decrease that risk, because it seemed to make it at least a bit harder to bring my pictures into a very explicit context.

Not wanting to be reduced to my private bits
Right from the beginning when I started publishing pictures, they have always accompanied and still accompany one of my personal posts and are supposed to underline a certain message, bring alive a kinky scenario that means something to me or show a glimpse of a private scene I write about. I love the creative process of composing and taking photos. When I started writing for this blog, I was scared, though, that posting pictures or clips with full frontal nudity wouldn't bring those people to our blog who were interested in reading my posts and in Ludwig and me as human beings, but people who were interested in explicit photos and quick sexual gratification only. Since I wanted to be seen as a person and exchange thoughts with others, it seemed to me that not showing any frontal nudity made it more likely to achieve these goals.

That's why frontal nudity and showing my breasts was a hard limit for me for a very long time. Usually that wasn't a problem because this blog focuses on erotic spanking and therefore mostly on the bottom. But there were times when it proved to be difficult. For instance, when Ludwig and I filmed my first severe caning. I was completely nude for the clip, because it was supposed to resemble one of the canings by Mood Pictures or Lupus Pictures for which the models are usually naked. To make sure that my nipples wouldn't be visible in the clip we wanted to publish later, though, we spent a lot of time setting up the cameras very carefully and checking every angle. That was even more difficult when we made our football bet clip with Leia-Ann Woods, because that one included a back whipping. There were several pictures (especially the naked ones in nature), too, where I had to adjust my position or explicitly cover my breasts to make sure they weren't fully shown.

I kept up my limit for several years. But then came the day when I decided to change my mind. Why and in how far will be the topic of my next Kaelah's Corner post.

For today, I would like to ask those of you who have a blog or post pictures or clips of themselves about your limits when it comes to how much you show of yourselves. Have they changed over time? And to those among you who are blog readers and viewers of spanking porn: how much do you want to see and how do the limits of amateur bloggers like me and professional models come over to you? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section!