In a recent post I talked about spanking terms around the world. The discussion in the comment section that followed was mostly between our German readers, except for Pandora who added some experiences from the view of an English-speaking kinkster and Ursus Lewis who introduced us to "Fuditätsch", a Swiss expression. The thread is of course still open, so everyone who likes to enlighten us with spanko vocabularies in different languages and their experiences with them is very welcome!
The language isn't the only difference between people from different countries, though. Traditions and habits can of course be different as well. Bogey pointed me to a study about which you can read more here. The bottom line of that study: Due to the high expectations many Germans put on themselves and their perfectionism, a huge number of people in our country have big difficulties with relaxing and enjoying things. I think that one should be careful about putting too much faith in studies which are cited in the popular media. For example, many of my friends have a great sense of humour and love to share valuable time with like-minded people and fooling around. I actually think that most Germans have lots of humour, in contrast to what a well-known cliché about us says. But the sequence of steps to enjoyment that is described as being typical for Germans in the article caught my attention nonetheless.
It goes like this: "The first step involves the feeling of having earned something. This is followed by preparation for the longed-for pleasure, such as booking a day of wellness treatments. But then comes the biggest hurdle: letting go and clearing the mind. Only when a surprising positive moment supervenes can a fully integrated sense of enjoyment follow." Indeed that is how I was raised, too. First work, then fun. And actually, I am very proud of my work ethic! But I had to learn to keep a good balance and take some time for relaxation as well, even if I haven't just achieved anything great that "justifies" having fun.
Fortunately, I don't seem to have another problem which is also mentioned in the article: "The highly personal interviews revealed that Germans can't even let go during sex. Many reported constantly having film and advertising images run through their minds. […] This results in the requirement to cut a good figure even during sex […]. That is, to hold in their bellies instead of enjoying the moment." I can't say that any of this is true for me, neither during spankings nor other sexual activities. Having a fondness for positions and the like, of course I try to look sexy when sharing intimate moments with Ludwig. But first of all, that doesn't keep me from enjoying the moment, and secondly, there usually comes a time when I stop thinking about these things and let go completely.
But still it made me think about whether the German culture and habits have influenced my kink. I actually think they did! Especially the "first work then fun" approach explained above. It has shaped my kink in the way that I try not to let that approach in on that part of my life. I want my spankings to be fun. I want to let go and enjoy them. I don't want to feel entitled to them only if and when I have made some special achievements. And I don't want any “first I have to go through a part that I don't enjoy in order to feel joy afterwards” approach in my spanking play.
I think this is a very personal thing, though. Of course there seem to be other, much more common differences between the spanking communities and preferences in different countries as well. Whether they are all true or not, I don't know. Some seem to be valid from my own experiences. I don't know enough about others. Some seem to be true for me. For example, I have a fondness for German canes (Rohrstöcke). Let's do a quick association game. I select a nation and then try to write down some spanking-related associations that come to my mind. You are of course welcome to play along and think about your own associations before reading mine.
The British: headmaster/-mistress, school uniform, age-play, cane, calm sternness, Victorian maid, big community of spankos ("the English vice")
Americans: paddles, dean, Texan with a strap, many spanking groups with a long tradition, (Christian) domestic discipline
Russians: guys who look like pro wrestlers, blonde women, harsh canings and beatings with cords, hilarious English subtitles (yes, my Russian spanking associations have been formed by Russian Slaves / Her First Punishment videos)
Germans: don't have a word for spanking, Rohrstock, love to use their language in order to bark commands, don't have a huge separate spanking community but a big mixed BDSM community
Of course, clichés aren't necessarily correct. They definitely don't apply to everyone belonging to a certain group, either. But sometimes, there is also some truth in certain clichés. So, I'm not sure, do you think any of these associations are correct? Are the spanking communities in various countries different from each other? What are your associations? How about countries other than the ones mentioned above? And, most importantly: Do you think that your national background has in any way shaped your kink? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section!
One last comment: The purpose of this post is not to ignite any battle of nations. This is not about better or worse. So, please stay respectful in your comments. On the other hand, talking about clichés is never completely serious, as becomes obvious in my associations. So, please don't take other people's comments too seriously, either.
The language isn't the only difference between people from different countries, though. Traditions and habits can of course be different as well. Bogey pointed me to a study about which you can read more here. The bottom line of that study: Due to the high expectations many Germans put on themselves and their perfectionism, a huge number of people in our country have big difficulties with relaxing and enjoying things. I think that one should be careful about putting too much faith in studies which are cited in the popular media. For example, many of my friends have a great sense of humour and love to share valuable time with like-minded people and fooling around. I actually think that most Germans have lots of humour, in contrast to what a well-known cliché about us says. But the sequence of steps to enjoyment that is described as being typical for Germans in the article caught my attention nonetheless.
It goes like this: "The first step involves the feeling of having earned something. This is followed by preparation for the longed-for pleasure, such as booking a day of wellness treatments. But then comes the biggest hurdle: letting go and clearing the mind. Only when a surprising positive moment supervenes can a fully integrated sense of enjoyment follow." Indeed that is how I was raised, too. First work, then fun. And actually, I am very proud of my work ethic! But I had to learn to keep a good balance and take some time for relaxation as well, even if I haven't just achieved anything great that "justifies" having fun.
Fortunately, I don't seem to have another problem which is also mentioned in the article: "The highly personal interviews revealed that Germans can't even let go during sex. Many reported constantly having film and advertising images run through their minds. […] This results in the requirement to cut a good figure even during sex […]. That is, to hold in their bellies instead of enjoying the moment." I can't say that any of this is true for me, neither during spankings nor other sexual activities. Having a fondness for positions and the like, of course I try to look sexy when sharing intimate moments with Ludwig. But first of all, that doesn't keep me from enjoying the moment, and secondly, there usually comes a time when I stop thinking about these things and let go completely.
But still it made me think about whether the German culture and habits have influenced my kink. I actually think they did! Especially the "first work then fun" approach explained above. It has shaped my kink in the way that I try not to let that approach in on that part of my life. I want my spankings to be fun. I want to let go and enjoy them. I don't want to feel entitled to them only if and when I have made some special achievements. And I don't want any “first I have to go through a part that I don't enjoy in order to feel joy afterwards” approach in my spanking play.
I think this is a very personal thing, though. Of course there seem to be other, much more common differences between the spanking communities and preferences in different countries as well. Whether they are all true or not, I don't know. Some seem to be valid from my own experiences. I don't know enough about others. Some seem to be true for me. For example, I have a fondness for German canes (Rohrstöcke). Let's do a quick association game. I select a nation and then try to write down some spanking-related associations that come to my mind. You are of course welcome to play along and think about your own associations before reading mine.
The British: headmaster/-mistress, school uniform, age-play, cane, calm sternness, Victorian maid, big community of spankos ("the English vice")
Americans: paddles, dean, Texan with a strap, many spanking groups with a long tradition, (Christian) domestic discipline
Russians: guys who look like pro wrestlers, blonde women, harsh canings and beatings with cords, hilarious English subtitles (yes, my Russian spanking associations have been formed by Russian Slaves / Her First Punishment videos)
Germans: don't have a word for spanking, Rohrstock, love to use their language in order to bark commands, don't have a huge separate spanking community but a big mixed BDSM community
Of course, clichés aren't necessarily correct. They definitely don't apply to everyone belonging to a certain group, either. But sometimes, there is also some truth in certain clichés. So, I'm not sure, do you think any of these associations are correct? Are the spanking communities in various countries different from each other? What are your associations? How about countries other than the ones mentioned above? And, most importantly: Do you think that your national background has in any way shaped your kink? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section!
One last comment: The purpose of this post is not to ignite any battle of nations. This is not about better or worse. So, please stay respectful in your comments. On the other hand, talking about clichés is never completely serious, as becomes obvious in my associations. So, please don't take other people's comments too seriously, either.