Friday, March 30, 2012

Kaelah's Corner (Mar 2012):
Erotic CP And Body Parts

(A classical bare bottom caning. Picture courtesy of Mancspank.)

A while ago, Ludwig and I talked about ideas for future scenes, both with him and with me on the receiving end. One aspect that came up during that discussion was the question which areas of the body we like to smack, have smacked or watch being smacked. Of course, for extreme spanking purists, only the bottom area is game. Since Ludwig and I are both interested in the wider field of CP, our tastes are a bit broader, though. But still, some body areas have a bigger appeal for us than others.

For both Ludwig and me, the bottom of course remains the most important body part for CP play. No matter who of us is on the receiving end, whether it is in private play or on video and whether we are in the role of participants or actively involved, 95 per cent of the time it is all about the bottom. I assume that is because this area of the human body is the one that was traditionally most often used to administer CP.

(A back whipping for Ludwig administered by Leia-Ann Woods and Kaelah.)

But I, even more than Ludwig, am very fond of back whippings as well. Only with a flogger and only on the upper back, though. I love back whippings on the receiving end as much as I love the idea of a man being tied to a post, fully clothed from beneath the waist but with a nude upper part of the body, awaiting to be whipped across his back. This picture wonderfully fits my naval fantasies, even though I don't like the whippings to be as bloody as their real inspirations. Therefore, Ludwig's back whipping scene with Leia-Ann Woods and me on the administering end was a dream come true.

In our private play, Ludwig sometimes includes sensual floggings of my private parts as well. I like that, but not too hard. And it isn't of much interest for either of us when watching videos. On the contrary, in combination with severity, whippings on the breasts, pussy or the belly are a big turn-off, especially for me. A while ago I watched a trailer for a spanking clip which included a severe whipping with a single-tail whip on different parts of the body. After a very severe stroke that landed on her belly, the model sank to the ground from the pain. For me, that was a huge turn-off because it gave me the feeling that her femininity (the female womb is where babies are carried to term) was supposed to be destroyed by the whipping. I get the same feeling with severe floggings on private parts, no matter whether there is a man or a woman on the receiving end. In the context of a soft, rather erotic spanking, male private parts have as much appeal as female ones for me, though.

(A breast whipping for Pandora Blake. Picture courtesy of Spankingserver.)

I have been smacked on my hands with a tawse only once, but from this single experience I can say that I rather enjoyed it. Still, the hands are neither Ludwig's nor my favourite body parts when it comes to the visual aspect of CP. That's why it is very unlikely that a beating on the hand will ever feature prominently in our private play. And they aren't of much interest for us when it comes to watching CP clips.

People's faces are the mirror of their personality and their soul. Therefore, face slapping is a very delicate thing. Ludwig generally considers it ungentlemanly, although he believes that there are some film scenes and contexts where it can be interesting. For me, face slapping is a complete no-go, anyway, at least in my own play as a bottom or as a top. I agree with Leroy Jethro Gibbs (a fascinating character from the TV series Navy CIS) who said that a slap in the face was humiliating, a slap on the back of the head, though, was a wake-up call. I love the idea of an encouraging slap on the back of my head, but face slapping just feels too real for me, in a very unerotic way. Under very special circumstances, face slapping can be okay for me as a viewer, though. For example, if the spankee is depicted as a strong character who is completely unimpressed by the face slapping, or if the spanker doesn't get away with that kind of behaviour and gets his or her comeuppance for it.

Then, of course, we have bastinado, the lashing of the feet. Ludwig and I have tried this only on very rare occasions and I have to admit that I can't really eroticize the kind of pain it produces. And it doesn't have much appeal visually for either of us, so I guess we won't try it much more often in the future, either.

(Bastinado for Leia-Ann Woods.
Picture courtesy of Northern Spanking.)

Last but not least, there are the legs and the thighs. Except for very soft smacks, these body parts are a complete no-go for me as well. I neither like the kind of pain nor the sight of marks on the legs. And I am scared because of the bad healing rate when it comes to marks on my legs, which doesn't make it any better. Ludwig has never tried spankings on the legs as a bottom, and he doesn't have any intention to do so. And like me, he isn't fond of marks on the legs. For example, accidental or deliberate cane strokes on the legs during a caning that is mostly on the bottom destroy the picture of the marks from Ludwig's point of view. Since I totally agree with him on that, it is rather unlikely that the thighs and the legs will ever play a prominent role in our spanking scenes.

How about you? Are you a spanking purist believing in the bottom-only formula? Or are you interested in the CP of other body parts as well? Is there a difference, depending on whether you are an observer, on the administering or on the receiving end? And which body parts are your favourites under which circumstances? We would like to hear from you about it. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Mysterious Evidence

A few days ago I was travelling by train. I had a rather huge bag with me, and so I looked for a free space in the luggage area. To my big surprise, I came across the sight which you can see in the (unfortunately not completely sharp) picture above. I swear that this is neither an artificially arranged picture, nor is the cane, which you have undoubtedly already spotted, mine. I usually don't carry around any canes without a bag. I looked at the unexpected sight, stunned.

Then I put my bag away, careful not to bend the cane, and went to find a seat. There I sat for a moment, thinking of what I should make of my discovery. It didn't take me long to remember that I had a photo camera with me. I figured that this was a find too good to waste. And I needed a proof of this strange story.

So, I went back to my bag and got out my camera. I didn't know to whom the cane belonged, though. And I didn't want to draw any attention to the fact that I was photographing it. So, I pretended to look at pictures which I had already taken, deactivated the flash and quickly took a photo.

Back at my seat I wondered. Who of my fellow travellers was the proud owner of the cane? Maybe the elderly people at the table nearby? No, they looked too conservative. Well, or maybe that was just prejudice on my behalf? What about the friendly looking young guy a few rows behind me? Hmm, maybe. If there really was another kinkster in my train coach, had he or she ever read our blog? I have to admit that all these thoughts were thrilling somehow. It's not that I haven't met other kinksters, but musing about a stranger on a train who might be a like-minded spirit felt special and adventurous.

Or maybe, I did wonder, the cane wasn't used for any kinky activities at all. As far as I could see, it seemed to be a peeled rattan cane, about 8-10 mm thick, approximately 100 cm long, very straight, but without ground ends. It definitely looked suitable for administering a good thrashing. But perhaps it was usable for other things as well? Gardening maybe?

I'm not sure. Has anyone got an idea? Do you think I really stumbled across a like-minded spirit who shamelessly (and why should he or she be ashamed) carried around his or her favourite or newest toy? Maybe he or she assumed that only fellow kinksters would spot what this strange stick was for, anyway? Or was it all completely different? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and asked him- or herself whether what he or she saw really was what it seemed to be?

I didn't even find out whom the cane belonged to. It was still standing in the luggage area when I had to leave the train. But it's appearance definitely made for a more enjoyable train journey with a slight Miss Marple flair. Even though I, in contrast to good old Miss Marple, didn't manage to solve the riddle. Ah well, I didn't have a Mr Stringer to help me, either. And sometimes unsolved riddles can be much more interesting than solved ones, anyway!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Six of the Best Search Terms: Volume I

Following the example of several fellow bloggers, I have taken a closer look at the search terms which have led visitors to our blog. The majority of them is quite straightforward and unremarkable, but I stumbled across a few which were rather creative, strange and funny. So, I decided to share six of the best of them with you. If you like the first edition, I can add the Six of the Best Search Terms as a special feature from time to time. So, without further ado, this is what people who are directed towards Ludwig's Rohrstock-Palast are looking for:

"intelligent spanking"
That's what we all want, isn't it? I mean, unintelligent spanking sounds utterly boring, right? Still, I wonder, how exactly does intelligent spanking look like compared to unintelligent spanking? Is an unintelligent spanking one that is administered without a tactic and a concrete plan of action? Or maybe a friendly smack delivered to the bald-headed huge bodybuilder with that smart combat boots who is standing in front of you in the line for the newest Van Damme movie and looks like he could need some cheering up? Well, I would certainly call that an unintelligent spanking attempt. Albeit courageous, though...

day after spanking
The sequel of The Day After Tomorrow, I guess?! Well, I think for many people the day after a spanking sometimes comes close to a natural disaster. The word subdrop comes to mind. I prefer to see things more positively, though, following a slightly converted saying by former German football trainer Sepp Herberger: After the spanking is before the spanking.

bathtub punishment

Why would anyone want to punish a bathtub? They are a great invention and I've never come across a bratty one so far. Although a talking bathtub would be funny. Ah, wait a moment, I guess it meant "punishment in a bath tub"?! Okay, that makes more sense. Even though I prefer good girl spankings in the bathtub. Very relaxing. Well, actually, I prefer good girl spankings all the time, 24/7.

tips for erotic caning
From the perspective of a bottom I've got just one: DON'T hit too hard! Enough said... toilet
Sorry, but we don't have a toilet on our blog. And even if we had, I guess pointing out the direction now would be too late, anyway. Our blog is like the Starfleet starships, you know, no toilets anywhere. By the way, that's why all the no-name Starfleet officers on the ship walk around so stiffly.

Ha, finally someone who looked specifically for me and not for Ludwig! Well, actually I'm not sure whether this is what our dear visitor really was up to. The name of the blog and the adult content warning sign maybe should have alerted him or her, though. Or was that person looking for adult content after all? Coming to think about it, I guess I don't really want to know what this search term was all about.

However, I hope you had some fun with our little exploration into the world of search terms. Would you like to see more, every once in a while?

Sunday, March 18, 2012

One Small Step For Man

Hi folks, we've done it again! Nope, not what you think. I'm talking about participating in online discussions about ethical treatment of others. Again, this has cost me three days of my life which have been filled with thoughts on the subject. I have to admit that I envy and admire Ludwig for his ability to participate in these discussions without being too involved emotionally. I don't have that ability (yet?), but I think that writing this post will be my way of drawing a line under this chapter.

So, what am I talking about? It all started with my post Happy Pi Day being Chrossed this week. I realised our stats rising and took a look at Chross's Spankings of the Week. Then, I suddenly saw a link on the sidebar to a discussion thread titled "Males as receivers?". I knew that Chross isn't into x/M spankings, and I had always been under the impression that his discussion forum and message board wasn't open to x/M, either. So, the title of the thread caught my attention and I started to read the discussion.

Skip 20 minutes ahead and you'll find me at the phone, my hands slightly shaking, telling Ludwig about my encounter. What caused my discomposure? Well, the thread had been started by one of the moderators of the forum who had discovered x/M material being posted on the site. He asked for advice on how to deal with that. So far, so good. The site belongs to Chross, so it is his right to decide what kind of content he wants.

I had of course always been sad about the omission of x/M since Chross's board and database is the biggest of its kind and there is no equal alternative place to go to for people who are searching for interesting links to spankings in mainstream videos, spanking pictures and recommended new blog posts. There had also always been a gut feeling which told me that x/M (and especially M/M) often is excluded from forums not only because the owners and the users have different preferences but because a small but vocal minority of prejudiced people and homophobes refuses to have any of that stuff anywhere on the site at all.

What made me tremble with rage was that I found my suspicion confirmed when I read the thread. Luckily only to a certain extend, though, but more about that later. It turned out that the moderator who asked for advice had so far deleted all x/M stuff he came across because he didn't want to have anything to do with x/M. In his words: "I don't want to take part in an enterprise that features men on the receiving end. That's gay, and it's beyond the pale." He later claimed that he had intended to use the term "gay" in the sense of "rubbish". But if he meant to say "rubbish", why did he not simply write "rubbish"? As any psychologist who has done research on the psychology of prejudice will tell you, someone using the term "gay" in place of "rubbish" is a pretty good indication that they are, indeed, prejudiced against gay people. Even if you give the guy the benefit of the doubt, calling x/M content "rubbish" is still pretty rude towards people who enjoy that kind of content. In any case, he obviously was not happy about the x/M stuff, and threatened to lay down his work as a moderator should it continue to be allowed on the board.

Luckily, the reactions of the next commenters were less intolerant. There were statements like: "Well, I don't like M/M in particular, but don't have any problem at all with F/M. However I'm a bit worried, why this should be a reason of defaming those who enjoy it. Remember, most people this [sic] spankos are sick." And: "What we don't want( as long as its adults involved) is telling someone that their kink is not okay simply because it does not appeal to us." But only one commenter labelled the original comment as what it was: "The depiction of males on the receiving end does nothing for me either, but neither am I bothered if it is shown on here. What does bother me is the notion of the forum being censored on the basis of someone else's homophobia - which, frankly, is a bit what the OP makes it sound like."

Apart from that, there was a lot of understanding and support for the original comment. Of course, everybody hastened to add that they were not intolerant. But at the same time, the statements featured comments like this: "Have very minimal interest in X/M, and would be fine if those running this site decided to exclude it." Or: "That said, however, this is Chross's blog, and he has every right to run it as he sees fit. If something offends him, or just doesn't fit what he's looking for, I say we step up and FOLLOW the rules. If someone has other interests, perhaps they should blog them elsewhere and not 'force' their preferences onto this group."

Karl Friedrich Gauss finally boiled it down to the main question: "how tolerant can or should we be of the intolerance of others". What I found in the thread was a lot of (more or less) subtle tolerance for intolerance. And I have to admit that I'm sick of this, because it is something that I repeatedly discover when it comes to people who are into x/F and their views about x/M (especially M/M), but never the other way around. Accordingly, the x/M (M/M) haters often get their way, and the x/M (M/M) fans are excluded from the party.

As you might already have guessed, Ludwig and I decided to join the discussion. Since we have already made the experience that not those who make unethical comments, but the ones challenging them are seen as troublemakers by some site owners, we settled for a new tactic, though. Instead of posting two separate long comments, we merged our arguments into a shorter joined comment which presented our point of view and which, thanks to Ludwig, was much more moderate than the original comment I had written. Yep, you have read this correctly: Ludwig was the more diplomatic one among the two of us! How about that for a role reversal. Writing that original (and never published) comment allowed me to give vent to my anger instead of swallowing it, though, and Ludwig embedded several of my arguments in our joined comment. So my work hadn't been in vain.

In order not to let the discussion become endless, our post was supplemented only by one shorter follow-up comment which further clarified some aspects. And then, Ludwig left the discussion with a "Thank you!" to Chross. For what? Well, that's the good news!

I let Chross speak for himself by quoting the most important excerpts from his comments: "I do agree that this was set-up as a X/F board. X/M is not the type of stuff I like, too. But then, if you look at the board rules there is nothing there that forbids X/M stuff. I know there are a lot of people out there who enjoy this sort of stuff and I don't really see a reason to exclude them, just because they are to our mind doing it the wrong way round ;-)! So deletion is not the right means I think. Stuff like that should, however, be labelled accordingly, so that people who might be offended by it, can avoid it. So in the thread name (if it's a new thread) or the post's title a 'M/M' 'F/M' should be added. Either by the poster or a moderator / admin if he notices this kind of stuff. If it turns out that we have a lot of it posted, I will set-up a sub board for this sort of stuff. […] I don't think stuff should be deleted if it IS not labelled correctly. We'll notice the author via a reply or PM and add the label. […] A board lives through its contributions and people who make these contributions, so there is no need to rule with an iron hand and drive people away who bother with uploading and posting stuff for others to enjoy."

So, this means that my second (i.e. toppy, and M/M loving) half is now officially welcome on Chross's message board! Yes, x/M threads have to be labelled. Yes, there might be a separate sub board one day. Yes, those who called for protection from getting into any contact with material that doesn't match their preferences have been heard. But still, Chross as the owner of a private message board who himself isn't interested in x/M has officially welcomed x/M contributions on his board and made a personal statement for more tolerance amongst spankos. Which is a wonderful message and also sets a prominent example, because Chross's site is one of the big players in our community.

And, even if there should be a separate board one day, I don't have the feeling that it will be hidden somewhere where nobody sees it. Karl Friedrich Gauss already used the new official freedom and posted a link to one of Jimmy Holloway's thought-provoking posts in the "blog beat" thread which points out interesting new blog posts in the spanking community. For me, this is a step towards more tolerance and a peaceful co-existence of different kinks in our community!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Happy Pi Day!

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Monday, March 12, 2012

Spring Cleaning

A wonderful weekend with Ludwig has just ended and I'm back on my own again. So, I decided that it is time to do some spring cleaning, here on the blog. I've reorganized the sidebars to make them a bit more practical for all those of you who want to use them to keep up with new blog posts on the blogs which we have listed. Some of the blogs in our blog roll have very regular postings, others have very irregular publishing schedules. From now on you will get to see the ten most recent posts in the sidebar, including the blog name, the name of the most recent post and a little excerpt from that post. By clicking on "show all", you can easily take a look at the rest of the blogs as well.

For those of you who have a Google account and want to follow our blog regularly, there is also a new add-on on our sidebar. If you decide to become a follower, you get automatically informed about updates and don't have to check for updates yourself. I'm curious to see how many regular followers we will get.

What we don't have (yet?) is a Twitter account. I have to admit that I am reluctant to go to Twitter because I already have lots of difficulties with keeping up the blog while managing to read other blogs as well, let alone writing comments. If I decided to have a Twitter account, I would have to set myself strict limits and stay out of all the regular chit-chat for which many people use that platform. Because I can't afford to spend any more time with kinky online stuff. Nonetheless, I would like to ask our readers, so: Would it be of any interest for you to follow a Rohrstock-Palast Twitter account which provides you with information about new posts on this blog, maybe links to thought-provoking posts published by fellow bloggers and maybe also some occasional short real-time messages about topics which will be discussed on the blog in greater detail some time later? I would be happy to hear your opinion! Do you think a Twitter account provides any additional value? If yes, what should the tweets be all about?

Last but not least, I also added some new blogs to the blog roll which I would like to recommend to you:

The first one, Poppy's Submissions exists for a long time now already and is written by Poppy St Vincent. I hesitated to add the blog to the blog roll in the past because it is mainly about female submission, a topic neither Ludwig nor I are primarily interested in. But I found myself reading Poppy's blog quite often, nonetheless, because of her very thoughtful and eloquent posts. So, I finally decided to add her blog to the blog roll because I think that Poppy's beautiful writing style makes her blog definitely worth a read.

The second new blog, The Blog of Fred, is only half a year old, but written by a veteran, Fred Bloggs. He provides a wide range of topics and writes not only about spanking but also about life as a nudist, political ramblings and the like. I waited a while with adding his blog in order to see whether the blog contains enough erotic CP related stuff to add it to our blog roll. It seems that spanking is indeed the main focus of the blog, though, and Fred offers very interesting and often refreshingly different insights in his spanking adventures and preferences as a switch. For all those who are looking for a change from the common M/F discipline and submission theme, Fred's blog is one of the places to go.

The third newbie is very new indeed, but also written by a well-known blogger (and model). Leia-Ann Woods has explored her toppy side for some time now, and finally decided to write about her explorations on the administering end of the rod on a separate blog called Miss Woods – The Doctor will be with you shortly. I have to admit that I'm a bit sad about the separation because I very much enjoy blogs that offer tales about topping as well as bottoming adventures, and spanking stories which involve different gender constellations. But I guess I'm representing a minority here, otherwise there wouldn't be so many blogs that focus strictly on certain constellations out there and so many people who write separate blogs for different gender constellations. However, I've added Leia-Ann's new blog to the blog roll, so that I, and you, can follow her adventures on the bottom as well as on the top side.

Last but not least, I've added a brand new blog, Holloway's Road, written by none other than Dreams Of Spanking's male shooting star Jimmy Holloway. Of course it could be that I am biased because I had the pleasure of meeting Jimmy in person, but in my opinion Jimmy already offers in his first few posts many very fascinating and thought-provoking topics, plus a great writing style and also self-made illustrations. Being an opinionated male submissive who has also discovered his toppy side, Jimmy offers very nice thought-fodder for the open-minded. A fresh blog definitely worth checking out.

So much for the spring cleaning. I hope you like the new look of Ludwig's Rohrstock-Palast. As always, feedback and suggestions are very welcome. It would be especially great to hear some opinions about Twitter.

Thursday, March 8, 2012


I recently reflected on a few experiences which I made at the very beginning of my exploration into the world of erotic kink, about which I have not written, yet. So, I decided to share the one or other of those experiences with you every once in a while. Today I would like to write about self-spanking.

When I started exchanging e-mails with Ludwig back in 2008, and trying out spanking for real slowly turned from a vague idea into a concrete plan, I had no clue whether I would like the experience or not. I hadn't been spanked as a child, except for a few slaps with the hand on one occasion (a very unpleasant and definitely not erotic experience), so I had no real idea of what to expect. As well as that, erotic CP was something entirely different from non-consensual discipline spankings of children, anyway. The former had been an important part of my sexual fantasies for a long time, the latter was and is something I absolutely don't condone.

The only experiences that I had with pain were the kind of experiences everyone makes once in a while, like headaches, stubbing my toe and other forms of pain that result from injuries or illness. I knew that I definitely didn't like that kind of pain and that I didn't find it erotic at all. I enjoyed fantasies about spanking, yes, but I didn't feel any pain while fantasizing about it. So, what reason did I have to assume that I would enjoy the real thing?

Ludwig did a tremenduous job as a partner for my first-ever real spanking experience. He told me that most of the people with kinky fantasies he knew had found out that they liked the real thing as well when they had finally decided to take the plunge. But Ludwig also reassured me that he wouldn't be disappointed if I happened to find out during our scene that I didn't like it at all and told him to stop. He found exactly the right balance between reassurance that it would most probably turn out fine and reducing the pressure in case I should find out that I only liked the fantasy of being spanked but not the real experience.

Nonetheless, I longed to have some more reassurance before our first play. And I wanted to try out some of the things which I had seen in all those spanking clips. So, I looked for all the items that I could find in my household which seemed to be suitable for spanking and started to try them out on myself. As far as I can remember, there were wooden spoons, shoes and even a folding yardstick (which I used while still folded) among them.

I didn't own any canes, but the stripes which they produced fascinated me the most. Furthermore, I knew that they were Ludwig's most favourite implement and that we would use one during my initiation ritual. As a substitute which seemed to be quite similar but was much easier to acquire, I cut myself switches from different shrubs. And I tried them out on myself either bent over or kneeling on my bed and watched the results in the mirror.

I found out that I indeed liked the, albeit not too severe, pain that I managed to inflict on myself with all those toys. Self-spanking worked as an additional tactile and visual stimulus for my erotic fantasies. I felt the strokes, I enjoyed the feeling and the sight of being in a spanking position, and I liked the sight of the implements hitting target and the growing redness of my bottom in the mirror. I found it especially cool that I really managed to produce red stripes with the switches. You can see them in the pictures. Not bad, are they?

Of course, my first experience with Ludwig still held a lot of novelty. Being spanked by another person is a competely different experience from self-spanking, and Ludwig spanked a lot harder than I had ever managed to spank myself. But still, I think that my self-spanking experiences were not only fascinating per se, they also supported my belief that I could enjoy the real thing and therefore made me feel a bit more relaxed prior to my first spanking play session with Ludwig.

Interestingly, I haven't done much self-spanking any more after that experience. I mostly use it nowadays to try out new implements, like the wooden hairbush with holes, and to make pictures of the results. I have definitely kept a strong fondness for mirrors, though, which allow me to watch the process of being spanked and the developing marks.

How about you? Have you ever tried out self-spanking? If yes, which implements did or do you use? Does it work for you? Any tops who try out implements on themselves before using them on others? And finally, how did you know that you would really enjoy your first erotic spanking experience? Did that question bother you prior to your first play? Or are you maybe still in the process of pondering whether you should make your fantasies come true? I'm curious to hear about your experiences and thoughts. Please feel free to share them in the comment section!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

The Appeal of M/M Spankings

(Picture courtesy of Sting Pictures.)

A while ago, Pandora Blake wrote a very interesting post in which she explained why M/M scenes appeal to her. Today I would like to tell you about my own M/M fantasies, their origins and why scenes featuring a male spanker as well as a male spankee are my favourite ones when I am in the role of an observer.

Of course, the easiest argument that could explain the appeal of M/M scenes for a heterosexual woman, especially if she is a switch like I am, is that there is a person who is of potential sexual interest on the top as well as on the bottom side of the scene. Just as with many heterosexual men who enjoy F/F scenes because they feature only women.

But in my case, it is definitely much more than that. First of all, the scenes which I fantasize about are strictly non-sexual. They are formal and often only involve a very low degree of nudity. In fact, two of the scenes which I find most attractive are fully clothed spankings or back whippings with the recipient being fully clothed from the waist down. Bare bottom spankings are prominently featured in my fantasies as well, mostly because I love the ritual of pulling down one's trousers for a spanking and because it allows me to fantasize of a higher degree of severity and developing marks. The persons administering the CP, on the other hand, are always completely dressed in my dream scenarios.

I think a big part of the appeal for me comes from the traditionally male societies I fantasize about, and their rules. The scenarios are usually set in a military / uniformed environment that involves a rank system, strict behavioural rules, toughness and a code of honour. A naval ship featuring young recruits / midshipmen is one of my favourites.

In my view, one of the reasons why I always liked M/M is that I felt much more comfortable among males than among females when I was a teenager. I never saw myself as sexy, I wasn't keen on expensive clothes and make-up, and I was most interested in those subjects at school which are traditionally a male dominated domain. Being a geek, I felt rather out of place among my female classmates. Except for my best friend Andrea, with whom I stuck together all the time. Until she decided to take a different route, that is. From that time on, I mostly watched female groups from the outside, and decided that there was too much behind-the-back talk for my taste. I was sure that I couldn't beat the others at attracting males, though, so I didn't aim for that. Instead, I tried to be accepted as an equal buddy by the guys whom I liked. My biggest reward was, for example, if we played a game divided into two groups, one male and one female, and I was allowed to play in the male group.

My fictional heroes at the time where, for example, the boys from Castle Schreckenstein who decided to live like honourable knights. Or Rusty, who was raised by a group of soldiers and lived among them as a young corporal with his brave German shepherd Rin Tin Tin. Of course, Wesley Crusher of Star Trak TNG was another role model. And I enjoyed watching police series like Police Academy, S.W.A.T. and 21 Jump Street (I didn't fancy the young guys, I was much more a fan of Captain Fuller). Together with some excerpts from naval films, they shaped my fantasies as a teenager and still do today, since those fantasies haven't changed too much over time.

(Picture courtesy of Spanking Central.)

There are several ingredients that are vital parts of all of my M/M scenarios. I never wanted the scenarios to be purely domestic, so the spankees in my fantasies are usually young cadets. But at the same time, it is important for me that there is a close relationship between the spanker and the spankee, so I always make the spankees the spankers' special protégés. Since I like the idea of honour and growth, the bottoms are by no means deserving or bratty young men. Quite the contrary, they are high potentials who are bound to become responsible and respected leaders themselves one day. Then they are going to be the ones to guide others and to be on the administering end of motivational and disciplinary CP. Accordingly, the tops' authority is based on the fact that they have undergone a similar development. The spankings themselves aren't so much about punishing sins, they are much more about growth and inurement, and they are prescribed by the strict rules, the need for extreme discipline and the high expectations towards the spankees. Due to the high demands which the young men put on themselves, the CP is almost always at least semi-consensual.

I am usually an observer in these scenarios, but I also go into the mindsets of the tops as well as the bottoms. Still, the nature of my fantasies was surely partly responsible for the fact that it took me very long to understand that spanking could be more for me than something that just happens in my mind. It was only when I started exploring the online world of erotic CP that the thought of me taking part in real spanking play seriously occurred to me.

Today, I am actively living out M/F, F/M and sometimes also F/F scenarios. I am much less uncomfortable amongst women than I used to be and have quite a few female friends. And I have discovered my own feminine side. But still, M/M fantasies continue to hold a very high appeal for me. As bedtime fantasies or in video clips, M/M is as a matter of fact still my favourite constellation.

Concerning videos and pictures, this is probably even more true than ever. One reason for this is that M/M scenarios of the kind I am interested in are rare, while M/F, F/F and to a lesser degree F/M pictures and videos are everywhere. Another reason is that x/F or F/M blogs and videos often carry a certain gender message with them which I don't like, either that only women as natural submissives should be on the receiving end of spankings or that it's deserving men only who are in need of a strict woman to guide them. Luckily, I haven't read such nonsense about M/M, so it is much easier for me to enjoy it without having to be reminded of those narrow-minded concepts.

Funnily, I can also enjoy stronger reactions when it comes to male spankees. While I am very much into rather stoic reactions, and this is surely one part that I like about M/M, in my age-play fantasies some of the younger characters aren't especially tough. Usually there is a good explanation for that, for example bad experiences or health problems, but the fact remains that stronger reactions in M/M scenarios work much better for me than in other constellations. I guess that's because with male spankees I don't have to think about the question whether being soft fulfils certain female stereotypes and expectations towards women which I don't like. And, in contrast to some F/M scenarios, the part of a woman reducing a man to a contrite and obedient something is missing as well.

(Picture courtesy of Dreams Of Spanking.)

I currently also think about playing out some of my M/M fantasies with Ludwig, with me playing the part of a male spankee. In some of them I would surely try to be brave and tough, but I would also like to play one of my younger and softer fantasy characters. I wouldn't want to do a scene like that as a little girl, which surely has partly to do with the things I mentioned above and also with the fact that I once really was a little girl. In order to let go and be weaker in a scene than I normally am, I have to be assured that I am just playing a character. As a woman who plays a boy there is neither a big risk of fulfilling any clichés, nor a high chance that the scene could suddenly become too real for me and make me feel weak in a bad way.

In my fantasy worlds, there were always some female characters as well. Today, the idea of a formal scene with a male top and several male bottoms plus one female character, be it a top or a bottom, is the most intriguing one for me when it comes to spanking videos. I could even play a part in that scenario and still have M/M scenes in the clip. Unfortunately, I have never seen that combination on video and I don't think that it is likely to happen.

Because the few spanking producers that make non-sexual M/M scenes, like Spanking Central, are mostly aimed at gay viewers. None of the ones I know produces big films with several spankees at a time. And even if one of them should one day decide to do so, why should they integrate a woman? The majority of F/F, M/F and F/M producers wouldn't consider to mix their videos with an occasional M/M scene, either, so why should gay producers jump in to fulfil the dream of a (or maybe a few, I think I am not alone with it) heterosexual woman / women?

I can imagine Pandora to do such a mixed scene one day, but making it a big scene with several men would be too expensive from my point of view, especially given the fact that the M/M scenes surely aren't the most popular ones on Dreams Of Spanking. And while I am of course very thankful for Pandora's approach to include all gender constellations, I wouldn't expect her to invest such a high amount of money into a scene that might only be interesting for a minority of her viewers.

Ludwig and I even thought about the question whether we couldn't produce such a scene ourselves. But frankly that would mean investing hundreds or maybe even more than one-thousand Euro, if we managed to find suitable models at all. And while a part of me is sad about the idea that there isn't even one clip that features this special scenario, videos in general are not so important to me that I would be willing to invest such a high amount of money. I can have a very nice holiday with Ludwig for the money instead. And sometimes, the reality can't be as good as the fantasy, anyway. I am glad that there are a few good M/M clips out there for me to watch. Apart from that, I will stick to the pictures which I have in my mind, and to the things which I can try out with Ludwig disguising myself as a boy.