Monday, February 29, 2016

Kaelah's Corner (Feb 2016):
Lucky Seven

This month was the seventh anniversary of Ludwig's and my first-ever play together. It marked my introduction into the world of erotic spanking and also was an important step on our way to becoming a couple. Looking back, I am still very happy that my “first spanking” was such a wonderful experience, with so much preparation and ceremony.

We re-enacted a part of that very first scene in our clip Enter the Dachshund which was my starting point into making kinky video clips. I still like that video, too, even though my reactions might be a bit too restrained for some viewers and I certainly would be more open to showing (at least slightly) stronger reactions today, as you will be able to see in the remaining videos which are still to be published.

I think that both occasions required very similar conditions in order to become the good, empowering experiences that they were for me: trust, open communication, respect and true care for each other. Those qualities, which already played a role in the ceremony seven years ago, are also the cornerstones for our relationship today.

But years later, it also became clear to Ludwig and me that in addition to all the preconditions we took care of, we were simply lucky that everything worked out so well. For instance, we filmed the action scene twice for the clip because when we watched the footage together, we found out that we both weren't quite happy with the look of the first take. I'm very glad that we had an eye on this before editing the clip and agreed on taking the time to shoot the scene again, because otherwise publishing the clip could easily have made me feel uneasy instead of happy.

And during our first play there also was one scene which Ludwig and I described as follows in our original account (Ludwig's comments are italic, mine bold): For the caning, I wanted to up the ante even more. “Since this is the grand finale, you are going to take everything off now” I told Kaelah. “Understood?” She nodded. So, after removing her bra and knickers as instructed, she stood before me in her full naked glory. I ordered her to stand up straight and put her hands behind her head. [You also told me to spread my legs a bit!] “You are very beautiful” I said while I took a good long look at her, first from behind, then from the front. After a brief pause, I stepped up to Kaelah, touched her upper left arm which she was holding behind her head, and ran my finger down the side of her body, barely missing her left breast. She didn't say anything, but I could tell that it was having an effect. [I was at least quite irritated. I hadn’t expected something like that and was trying to integrate the situation into my mindset. It was a strange mixture. In my mindset I saw it as a kind of obedience test. That fitted to the master / student scenario. But of course standing like that in front of a man who obviously enjoyed it also raised different thoughts…]

“It's a bit different from being in the sauna, isn't it?” I remarked casually, referring to something Kaelah had said during our first talk, when I asked her if she would have any objections against being naked. Kaelah suppressed a grin. “Yes, a little” she said quietly. [Since I thought of the whole thing as a kind of test, I tried to be really honest with my answer, like we had agreed beforehand. So, I needed a few seconds to think about the question. It’s not completely different, I thought, because being naked is something natural and I feel safe with Ludwig and not very ashamed, almost like being naked in the sauna. But, on the other hand, this was an erotic situation and being naked was a part of that erotic experience, so it somehow was different. And, of course, I usually don’t stand around in a position like that in the sauna! ;-)]

As you might already be able to see from the text, we both interpreted the scene slightly differently, so that it fitted into our respective mindsets. I suppose we both didn't have a clue how easily that little intermezzo could have given the scene a negative turn. Years later Ludwig touched my breast unexpectedly in a scene that was supposed to be a more formal one in my view. That stirred up bad memories referring to an incident from the distant past I hadn't even been aware of anymore. Of course Ludwig couldn't know about it, either, neither when it happened nor many years earlier during our first scene.

Today we both know many possible landmines we have to be careful about both in our vanilla relationship and in our kinky play. But even the most careful behaviour and planning doesn't guarantee that things can't go wrong at a certain point. So, I'm all the more thankful that my introduction into the world of erotic spanking was such a thrilling and wonderful experience.

How about you? Is there any very special kinky play you love to remember? Are you aware of any scenes that could have easily gone wrong at a certain point but luckily didn't? Or is there a scene that unexpectedly went wrong and in that gave you new insights about yourself or your play partner? You are very welcome to share your thoughts and memories in the comment section!

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Please, Please (Let Me be Your Slave)

Recently, I was invited to a party organised by vanilla friends of mine. It proved to be a wonderful evening (and night) with good food and nice conversation. Sometime around two or three o'clock in the morning, we ended up watching old music videos which we enjoyed in our youth.

Among them was one by the great German punk band "Die Ärzte" ("The Doctors"), called "Bitte, Bitte" ("Please, Please"). The song is about BDSM, but the video adds another context. It is a clip against prudery, oppressive regimes and censorship, and it is most certainly very kinky. I saw it many years ago and liked both the song and the video, but I had completely forgotten about it until I saw it again that night at the party.

As explained on Wikipedia the song was definitely meant pro BDSM and in one version a dominatrix who was obviously friends with the group explains the meaning of certain fetish and BDSM terms. Watching the video, though, it struck me as ironic that while the band used a lady with a whip to symbolize oppression and censorship, we in the kinky community today have to deal with the censorship of images and videos showing such ladies.

So I decided to share the video as a memory from my youth with you. Two more hints for those of you who don't understand the German language: The ministry the young man walks into is the "Ministerium für Zucht und Ordnung". The correct translation would probably be "ministry of law and order", but "Zucht" can also be translated as "discipline" or "chastity". The inscription of the stamp says "zensiert" which is of course "censored" which is also what the Z on the banners stands for.

Here is a rough translation of the lyrics:

I have a gift for you
I love you, the gift is me
Do not ask me, you know why, starting today I am your property
You're hurting me what more do I want?
I am your servant, thou the Lord
From today I belong to you alone

Please let me, please, please let me
Please, please let me - let me be your slave

Whatever you order, I'll do it
I kiss the top of your shoe
And if you give me the whip
I know that you love me, too
I'm beyond redemption, whip me, put me in chains
From today on I belong to you alone

Please, please let me, please, please let me...
Please, please let me - let me be your slave ...

Please, please let me, when you want, please, please let me, how you want it...

Let's hope that one day, censorship of speech, music and consensual kink will be history. I have to admit that I don't believe this will happen any time soon, though, if at all. As a matter of fact, when I read the news today I am sure that the song is still as relevant as it was at the time of its release 28 years ago.

Friday, February 19, 2016

Our First Spanking Party in Germany (Part 3):
The Classroom

This is part 3 of our account on our first spanking party in Germany. You can find parts 1 and 2 here and here. As in the first two posts, Fenris's comments are in bold and Ludwig's in italic.

We finally decided that we had had enough spanking action for the day. There was also a public reading this evening, an author reading little sequences from her newest BDSM book. We went there in order to cool down a bit. The reading took place in the school room. When it was over, Ludwig, Fenris and I of course couldn't resist taking some pictures in this room as well, as you can see.

[Ludwig: If my recollection is correct, it was mostly Kaelah who "couldn't resist" taking some pictures. She never can, she's such a photography buff! And once she has discovered a motif she would like to immortalise on the blog or just for her private picture collection, she has to go after it. Right now! And perfectly! She'll keep pestering me until everything has been thoroughly and exhaustively photographed in exactly the way she wants to. Actually, she's probably never as toppy as when she's directing her companions of the evening during an impromptu photoshoot.]

And I thought I am very toppy whenever I am of the opinion that something has to be organised, not only during photoshoots? Mental note: It seems I need to become more toppy in our kinky play, at least as toppy as I obviously am when we are taking pictures...

But back to the party: In the meantime, it had become late and there weren't many guests left. This was when I came across the third and last huge difference between this party and the ones I had been to before. When we looked into the main open play area on the ground floor, we could see that there was a paddling going on, a guy being topped by a woman. There were naked bystanders and the whole scene was obviously very sexual. I have to admit that would have scared me at the time I started living out my kink. By then, however, I was already self-confident enough to know that I had the right to decide what I wanted to watch and which kind of play I wanted to participate in. So, after a curious look, we bid our hosts farewell and left.

Fenris: I was very glad that after much doubt, I attended my first party and started living out my kink. For me, this had been the best weekend for a long time. Later, I checked my marks in a mirror and was, at first, a bit shocked, but then took it as a badge of honor. The marks lasted for a week and required a bit of strategy to use the shower in the gym.

Before we went to bed, Ludwig and Fenris had a drink together in our room and talked about the day and about other things. I was already in my pyjamas and realised how tired I was. So, I lay down, listening half asleep to Ludwig and Fenris talking about history and literature. I smiled realising how well they got along and that they didn't need me for their conversation. A while later Ludwig and Fenris decided to call it a day, too. So we went to sleep after an exciting and exhausting day.

The next morning we had a lovely breakfast together and decided to do a bit of sightseeing before driving back home.

Fenris: We had breakfast outdoors and even before sitting down, I realized the wooden chairs were without any cushions. It is quite interesting how a caning can change your perception of the environment.

The wooden chairs were indeed a great coincidence... We went to an old mansion after our breakfast, an excursion which of course gave rise to a few kinky fantasies. For instance, the huge office that featured an old impressive wooden desk.

[Ludwig: Personally, I was even more impressed by the waiting room in front of the office. It featured big, hard, uncomfortable wooden benches for whoever was waiting for an audience with the resident patriarch back in the old days. Huge benches, as a matter of fact, that made you feel tiny as you sat on them. I hate to use the cliché, but it really felt Kafka-esque. That office, plus the waiting room, would have made a perfect setting for an epic spanking film by Lupus Pictures or Dreams of Spanking, I thought.]

Yes, I had almost forgotten about the waiting room and the impressive huge benches! There had been enough play for a weekend, though, (this time I even didn't insist on taking kinky pictures, Fenris just took the "vanilla" one above showing the office) and after our excursion we bid each other farewell. It took two years before we went to the next party together. This time it was the "Spanking Gerichtshof" (spanking court) organised by our avid commenter Donpascual aka Ramon Herzog, which took place in fall of 2015. This party, as you can imagine, involved a lot more role-play. I will tell you more about it soon in a separate post.