Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Kaelah's Corner (Mar 2010):
Does Your Mother Know?

One question many spankos ask themselves is whether they’re going to tell their families and vanilla friends about their kink. In Ludwig’s and my case this topic raised special challenges, especially for Ludwig, because before we met and even today we deal with that question differently. Ludwig usually strictly separates his kinky from his vanilla life. When I started exploring the world of spanking, I was fascinated by all the new things I found on the internet. Since I didn’t have contact to any spankos at the time, I decided to tell family members and vanilla friends about my journey. Not all of them, but actually a lot of people. Some of them even not so intimate friends of mine.

Their reactions were remarkable. None of them was really shocked. Most of the people I told about the kinky world were genuinely interested and asked for more information to understand what it was all about. Although the majority of my friends couldn’t imagine why being spanked should be sexually stimulating, they didn’t make fun of me. And many of them told me very exciting intimate stories about themselves in return. So, I’ve learned about Kama Sutra, threesomes, anal sex and fetishes for stockings. I’m very happy that my friends trust me like that and I’m very thankful for all the mind-opening insights they’ve given me.

The “most negative” reaction I got was someone telling me that knowing about my kink was okay, while more detailed and intimate information would be a bit too much. The same person helped me to find a kinky book when we went to a book store together, though. So, as you can see, there wasn’t really a big problem there.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t tell everyone whom I would have liked to include into the members circle of “those who know”. Actually, I think that I can distinguish two main categories of people, those whom I expect to be able to deal with my kink and those who, to my mind, can’t. The first group can be divided into very close family members and friends and those people who aren’t that close. The former are the ones who knew from the very beginning and whom I talk to about my kink till this day. Some of the latter might also know that I’m a spanko, but today I usually don’t talk with them about this topic any more. That’s not because I’m ashamed of my kink. But, first of all, I now have Ludwig and other spankos to talk to. And, secondly, my kinky thoughts today are usually related to Ludwig and I have become more selective – not everyone has to know about our intimate stories!

The group of those I’m afraid couldn’t deal with knowing about my kink can be divided into three subgroups: People I wouldn’t call friends, friends, and those people I feel especially close to. I don’t bother about the first group at all, I simply don’t tell them and I trust those who know not to tell anyone else. And I also simply don’t speak about these intimate erotic topics with the friends who might be disturbed if I told them about my kinky life. That’s because I don’t see why I should unnecessarily irritate them. I don’t lie to them, either, they know for example that Ludwig and I met each other via internet and that we were chatting about very personal topics. But I spare them the details and they don’t ask for further information. I recently realised that some of them even seem to have quite a good guess on what kind of personal topics I mean. They seem to be absolutely okay with it, which makes me very happy. But still, I’m of the opinion that knowing the whole story would be a bit too much for them, so I just keep it that way.

The ones I’m really sad about are those I feel very close to, but who I think couldn’t deal. There are very few of them, but there is at least one person. I’ve thought about it for a long time and sometimes I still list up the pros and cons in my mind. But at the moment I’m quite sure that the possible positive outcome doesn’t outweigh the risks. If someone I love were deeply shocked because of my sexual orientation, what do I win? Okay, I could speak openly about something I consider to be an important part of my life. I could talk about my kinky friends, the blog and how Ludwig and I met. But if that resulted in someone fearing for me, not knowing how to treat me and maybe even thinking that Ludwig might do me harm, is that a price worth paying? I’ve made the decision that from my point of view the price is too high. And I also don’t want the people I love to pay such a high price for just a bit of knowledge. My kink doesn’t make another person out of me. It’s a sexual preference, something very intimate most adults don’t share even with their closest family members and friends. I don’t know such intimate details about some very close persons, either, and I don’t have the feeling that I have to know. Of course, in my case, other things I do are related to my kink and I can’t talk about them 100 per cent openly, either. I think that is the most difficult part.

The two things that really bother me about not telling close people are that they might hear about it from someone else or that I might regret not having told them after they’re dead. In the first case, having told them from the very beginning and taking them with me on my journey step by step might have caused less harm than them being told about my whole exploration by someone else. And someone might feel betrayed realising that less close people knew about it. In the second case it would be too late to change my mind and I might have to live with regrets for the rest of my life.

I’m very aware of the finite nature of our lives at the moment, because I’ve just lost three very close family members within ten months. One of them is my mum. She was a wonderful person, a loving and caring mother and my closest confidant. She fought a very brave fight against illness and I tried to support her as best as I could. But finally, all I could do was to make sure that she was surrounded by her beloved ones, hold her hand and tell her that it was okay to let go and come to rest.

My mother knew EVERYTHING about my kinky journey and I’m very glad she did! When Ludwig and I started exchanging mails I read my mails to her on the phone asking whether everything was clear and good the way I had written it. She couldn’t imagine how being spanked could be an erotic experience, but she completely trusted and supported me. The singing bowl Ludwig and I used in our first play was a present I got from her. I’m not sure whether I’ll ever be a mother who is at least half as great and supportive as she was. I miss her so much! I’m very sad, but also incredibly thankful for all the things she taught me, the wonderful time we had and the fact that nothing between us is left unsaid. I think she really deserves to be on this blog. So, this is for you, Mum, thank you for everything!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Movie Review: Drug Patrol

Pain4Fem (released in 2005)

Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence:
Drug smugglers receive spankings and enemas from the cops

Victim Appeal:
After Bordello Patrol, this is volume two of Pain4Fem's "police stories", a series chronicling the exploits of Austrian policeman Karl Schwenk and his female assistant in the seedy underground of Vienna. Naturally, Schwenk is portrayed by company owner Peter Schober, and the female assistant this time is lovely Dominika, one of P4F's main stars. Alas, she only acts here and doesn't get spanked. Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you. As kinky videos go, she's not a bad actress.

The two female victims go by the names of Nina and Sandra. To my knowledge, this is their only appearance ever in a spanking flick, with Pain4Fem or anyone else. Red-haired Nina is obviously a native German speaker. It's the first time that I've seen a German working with P4F. She also seems a bit older than their average model, probably in her early thirties. Sandra is Czech, blond, and somewhat on the chubby side. I like her looks, and Nina's too. While they aren't quite as eye-candyish as some others I could think of, it's nice to see two women in a spanking flick for a change, rather than "girls".

Gratuitous Sadism:
The movie opens with the same intro as Bordello Patrol: Mozart's "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" plays over travelogue shots of Vienna, then the music morphs into a typical police thriller theme and we see Peter Schober doing his best cop impression, pointing a gun at the camera. It's cheesy stuff alright, but fun. Actually, "cheesy" is the word of the day here. I've seen plenty of ridiculous scripts in CP films, but Drug Patrol really takes the prize: the "Most Whacky Excuse for Giving Out a Few Spankings and an Enema" award.

As you can imagine, Sandra and Nina play drug smugglers. In their attire, they look more like hookers, but never mind. (How does a drug smuggler look, anyway? I don't know. Coming to think of it, I don't know any hookers, either.) The two of them get arrested by Schwenk and his assistant while they are hanging around at a children's playground, of all places. How's that for fear-mongering stereotypes perpetrated by - not against - kinky videos!

From then on, it's interrogation time at the police station. First off, they tie Sandra to a bench and Schwenk canes her. I don't know if this is supposed to be standard, legal procedure in the parallel universe depicted here, or police brutality. Who cares? She whimpers nicely. By my count, Sandra gets 45 strokes - this doesn't seem to be one of the P4F titles where they repeat strokes from different camera angles. In the end, she confesses that the drugs are hidden in her partner's rectum. Thank God she confessed! They probably would never have found them otherwise!

So, Nina is next. Schwenk puts her in the diaper position and thrashes her bottom with a wooden spoon. Apparently, he does this to get her to confirm where the drugs are. Why does he need confirmation? Why doesn't he just look? I gave up trying to make sense of the plot by this time. After a merry three minutes with the spoon, Nina admits: "I have them in my arse!" The cops give her an enema to "flush out" the drugs. Would that really work? Actually, I don't want to know. For the grand finale, they tie Nina to the leather-clad bench, her arms and legs spread in all four directions, and Schwenk gives her a severe caning that covers her newly drug-free arse with dark red stripes. After 32 strokes, he switches to another, heavier cane for 6 more.

In both Sandra's and Nina's caning scenes, Schwenk stops from time to time to spray some "salt water" over their welts. I find it theatrical and a bit silly, but I suppose it should be lauded as a flash of creativity nonetheless.

Best Reactions:
The Pain4Fem website states about Drug Patrol: "The extreme severity of the canings during the interrogation may make your skin crawl. This video is not for the fainthearted." In this case, there is some truth to the bombastic advertising lingo. While the film doesn't reach the viciousness of the other Eastern European producers, the scene with Nina is among the hardest which Pain4Fem have ever done. Her blood-curdling screams make for the most enjoyable reactions in the video, too.

Best Line:

When Schwenk gets frustrated with the first drug smuggler he interrogates, the Czech woman, he announces that a round of "special treatment" (read: a thrashing) is in order, and adds: "You will talk, believe me. Even in German. You will speak every language!"

Nice Psychological Touch:
In the opening scene, Schwenk is shown sitting around in the police station, reading a Mickey Mouse comic book. I'm still trying to figure out what that is. Product placement? Self-deprecating humour? An unexpected artistic statement of some kind?

How Good Is It Really?
I have mixed feelings about this one. It is not a bad spanking video. Actually, it has quite a few things going for it. Peter Schober is a natural at playing the brutal cop. Nina seemed to be into her role as well, and Dominika looked gorgeous standing in the background. The action scenes are good. All in all, a very solid effort.

I guess my complaint about Drug Patrol is that, given the potential, it could have been a lot better still. They had a German model, someone who speaks the same language as Peter Schober. But they didn't do much with it - in terms of story and dialogue, the film is uninspired, even by spanking porn standards. The final caning scene, while hard, is also a bit disappointing. It is just too slow and too talky. Sure, it's nice to see a thrashing where the players aren't totally mute, but their repetitive exchanges of "Where are your drug suppliers?" and "I can't tell you!" get boring fast. The gimmick of rubbing "salt water" into the spankee's welts is overused, too.

What You Learned:
The more I watch Pain4Fem's "police stories" series, with its illegal immigrant prostitutes and drug smugglers who hang around at children's playgrounds, the more I realise that Peter Schober is for spanking films what Ted Nugent is for rock music. I mean, the guy should have been a policeman. Or a judge. Or a law-and-order politician. Or, better still, all of those at the same time, so that he can combine executive, judiciary and legislative powers in one person. That would be awesome. Well, in a movie, not in real life!

Friday, March 19, 2010

To Everything There Is A Season

So, this is it. The last day of winter! No more lonely walks in the snow. No more breathing the cold, clear winter air. What’s better than enjoying the sight of a peaceful landscape lying quietly under a white blanket glistening in the sun?

Following the tracks of rabbits, squirrels and deer into the woods. Becoming one with nature. No other people around. Except maybe for that strange guy who is living here in the woods all alone. Well, at least that’s the story being told in the village. But that’s just a legend, isn’t it???

When you find out the truth, it is of course much too late! He’ll grab you from behind, fight you down, rip off your clothes and shred them into pieces. A few minutes later you’ll find yourself tied to a tree, completely naked and cold. At first you might try to get him on your side with a shy smile.

But that won’t impress him at all. He’ll walk around you, inspecting his prey from every side. And he’ll enjoy your shivering and that special expression on your face, once you realise that no one will hear you scream, except maybe for some rabbits, squirrels and deer.

And then he’ll step behind you. When you turn around you’ll recognize the single-tail in his hand. And you'll know that you’re going nowhere, until he decides to let you go…

Well, thinking about it, spring is a nice time of the year, too, isn’t it? ;-)