Movie Review: Bordello Patrol

Producer:
Pain4Fem (released in 2005)

Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence:
Prostitutes are blackmailed and caned by the police

Victim Appeal:
This title marks the beginning of Pain4Fem's "police stories", a series of films "that lays bare the darker side of authority". It chronicles the exploits of Austrian policeman Karl Schwenk and his female assistant. Here, on their first mission in the seedy underworld of Vienna, they conduct an ID check in a brothel. Before long, two of the employees there find themselves receiving a dose of extrajudicial punishment.

Appropriately enough, the two young prostitutes are played by vanilla pornstars Paris and Jenifer aka Rachel Evans. Paris has dark brown hair with reddish tips and is pleasant to look at. Jenifer is visually spectacular, with a long mane of light brown / blonde curls, a gorgeous, slender figure and a most spankable little ass. Extremely easy on the eyes, that girl. They don't get a whole lot of acting to do, but when a movie has eye candy of this magnitude to offer, that is a tolerable loss...

Gratuitous Sadism:
The police soon determine that Paris and Jenifer are in the country illegally. But instead of alerting the immigration office and having them deported, Schwenk makes the ladies an offer they can't refuse: if they perform in a couple of quickie sex videos that he will film and sell over the internet, he will let them go. Needless to say, the girls agree. The brothel's madam knows that she is in trouble herself for employing illegal immigrants, so she happily provides a room for the impromptu porn shoot.

The room turns out to be an "S&M suite" with a whipping bench in the middle of it, a big bed and various spanking implements hanging on the wall. The police officers are somewhat surprised, but start using the gear right away. Schwenk ties Jenifer up with some leather restraints and orders her to lie on her back on the bed. While his assistant films the action, he then instructs the other girl to use a vibrator on Jenifer. After two minutes of that, Schwenk has a "sweet idea" (as he calls it) and starts whipping Jenifer's pussy with a strap. That goes on for a while. Satisfied, the policeman removes her fetters and tells the young woman to put her clothes back on. Paris is supposed to be next. But while Schwenk is contemplating his next move (examining a cane with studied curiosity), Jenifer manages to grab his handgun and threatens to shoot him. She forgets to move the safety switch, though, and is quickly subdued.

"That was a big mistake!" growls the policeman and proceeds to turn the video shoot into a full-blown CP session. For starters, he ties Jenifer to a wooden beam and whips her back for a couple of minutes. After that, she is made to strip fully naked and fastened to the bed to get her bottom caned. It's a fairly long scene and most of the strokes are repeated from different camera angles. By my counting, Jenifer takes 33 individual lashes in total. Then it's the other girl's turn to taste the cane. Schwenk orders Paris to bend over the bed, but she keeps flinching and he ties her down on the whipping bench for the rest of the punishment. This time, fewer strokes are repeated from different angles. I believe Paris gets 35 in total. The canings are moderately severe and produce fairly vivid marks because the two vanilla models are obviously not used to this kind of treatment. Both of them have some lovely welts by the end.

Best Reactions:
Both girls are in genuine discomfort and give enjoyable reactions. Paris even cries a bit. However, my inner sadist would have to pick Jenifer's caning as his favourite part of the film. It's a very sexy scene, about 18 minutes long and with a good rhythm, measured and unhurried, but not too slow. She is tied to the four corners of the bed so that her arms and legs form an X, showing off her near-perfect body and her slightly raised, beautiful ass. Moreover, Jenifer's pained reactions are great, just the right mixture of vocal distress and struggle for composure. She moans, yelps, breathes heavily, flinches, wiggles her bottom, bites the pillow... A lot of things to see and hear in this excellent CP scene.

Best Line:
There isn't a lot of memorable dialogue in this movie, but one politically incorrect line towards the beginning had me snorting with suppressed laughter. The policeman determines that the first of the illegal immigrant prostitutes is Czech. He asks the other one for her passport, looks at it and remarks: "Ah, a Slovak... That's the same thing, anyway, isn't it?"

Tsk tsk. I wonder if this is supposed to be a portrayal of the arrogance and ignorance of the Austrian police or a tongue-in-cheek statement by the filmmakers. Maybe a little of both. Obviously, Czechs and Slovaks will disagree strongly to being lumped together like that. But the line shouldn't be taken too seriously, I think. It's rather funny with Schwenk's casual, mumbling delivery, and the joke is really on him. Besides, a bit of gross over-generalisation never hurt anybody. When you come to think of it, aren't Germans and Austrians the same thing, too?

Nice Psychological Touch:
It is implied that Jenifer works at the brothel as a professional domme. Schwenk asks her about it and jokingly addresses the girl as "Miss Dominatrix". She never replies a word to that - I don't think the actress understands much of what he is saying, to be honest. But let's assume that her character is a pro domme. Let us also assume, for the sake of the argument, that she is vanilla and only doing the whips and chains thing for profit. In an establishment like that, it's not a very far-fetched idea. And it's obvious that she didn't like the pussy whipping one bit. Grabbing the police officer's handgun afterwards, she angrily exclaims: "You really hurt me, you pig!"

I think it adds a bit of spice to the story. It's an interesting little twist, a mercenary "I'm only in it for the money!" dominatrix, who has presumably never been whipped or caned, forced to take a taste of her own medicine. Schwenk clearly delights in the task: "Now you can experience what you're always doing to others!" A very strange psychology is at work here. After all, there is nothing wrong with being an honest mercenary - the girl earns some money, her kinky clients are happy, everyone gets something out of it. But still, it is hard not to feel a vague sense of "justice" while you watch her ordeal at the hands of the police. Even though that is non-consensual and therefore an entirely different thing! Maybe it's because I wish that all pro dommes would take a good thrashing at least once, so they know what they are doing.

How Good Is It Really?
"Bordello Patrol" is a pretty inspired effort by Pain4Fem and I enjoyed it a lot. The "police story" plot is silly but fun. There are some neat little touches. During the opening credits, a synthesised version of Mozart's "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" morphs into cheesy spy thriller music. Officer Schwenk provides a deadpan English voiceover with his heavy Austrian accent. As with most P4F movies, the main strengths are technical craftsmanship, good-looking models and solid CP action. There are two extended, hot and well-filmed caning scenes. I liked the girls' positions in particular, one tied to the bed and the other over the bench. Jenifer is stunning to behold, pity that this is her only full-length CP movie to date (she has a couple of scenes on Spanking Server).

What You Learned:
Cops are normal people, too. They like spanking gorgeous girls, shooting porn videos and making a few extra bucks by selling the clips online. Breaking the law enforcement code of professional conduct can be so much fun!