Saturday, April 30, 2016

Kaelah's Corner (Apr 2016):
Locomotive Breath

The process of moving in together is now almost complete, seven years after Ludwig and I became a couple. A few days ago, I left Ludwig's old place for the very last time. Being the sentimental person that I am, this was an occasion which made me very sad.

I walked through the rooms one more time, remembering all the events that took place here. One thing that comes to my mind when I think about Ludwig's place is my first visit, shortly after we had seen each other in person for the very first time. How I looked around excitedly and a bit nervously, recognizing a cane lying in one corner of the room we sat in and wondering which kinds of kinky implements Ludwig might possess other than canes and whether he would show them to me.

I also tried to find out more about who Ludwig was and remember that I was of course curious to see, for instance, which kinds of books were on his bookshelf. We talked almost the whole time during the two days I visited Ludwig and did some sightseeing as well. I was so overwhelmed that I got a stomach-ache when we ate dinner at one of Ludwig's favourite restaurants before I left on the second day. At that time, most of our conversation was about kink, since that's how we had found each other and since I was thinking about making my first spanking experience with Ludwig.

Another important memory is of the day when we fell asleep together in one bed for the very first time. We hadn't planned for that to happen. At that time we were still just friends and Ludwig had put up a separate sleeping place for me. But then we went to sleep together in his bed, cuddled around each other.

I also remember the uncountable times I arrived for a weekend together either by car or by train, in which case Ludwig always came to the station to welcome me. The many days we were having breakfast and supper together, sitting at the dining table, talking about kink and vanilla topics, getting to know each other better and better. Coming to Ludwig always meant a few days off for me, a time for walks, little excursions, evenings with friends and relaxation.

Of course there were difficult times, too. I also remember the afternoon when we were cuddling on the couch, both being very sad, because we talked about splitting up and it wasn't clear whether I would ever return after leaving at the end of the weekend. Later, Ludwig quickly packed away the extra sheets on the bed before I had even left because, as he told me, he wouldn't be able to stand the sight of them after I was gone, not knowing whether I would ever come back to use them again.

And then there were our first sexual and kinky experiences together, some of which we shared in this place as well. Some were immortalised on photo and of course we have vanilla pictures and videos of the place, too. But still it makes me sad to know that I won't be able to simply walk in there anymore and relive some of the memories from the beginning of our relationship.

On the day I left, the weather was warm and the sun shining brightly. Ludwig and I went for a last walk along one of the routes we had walked so often over the years. One of the cats from the neighbourhood came over to say farewell. And then it was time for me to leave.

I think it was good that I was travelling by train this time. Because otherwise I might a) not have been able to force myself to leave (having had to catch a certain train made it easier), b) have been a danger to others driving a car, given how tearful I was when I left and c) have cried even more driving through the town for the very last time, slowly but steadily getting further and further away from the place I called my second home for seven years.

Ludwig brought me to the train station and we said goodbye. He was staying behind to settle a few more things before the place would be handed over to its next inhabitant. I went to our new place alone, of course knowing that Ludwig would follow me, soon.

You know, the strange thing is, that of course rationally everything is fine. Ludwig and I will live together, not having to travel between his place and my place anymore, but calling our new place our common home. We are married. And we look forward to a new time in life with great new opportunities and adventures lying ahead of us. We even managed to have our closest family members nearby at our new place!

But still I was sad when I gazed at my train ticket which looked like so many I had bought before, showing the destination that had always meant visiting Ludwig and sharing a few days off with him. It reminded me of the song Locomotive Breath by Jethro Tull, one of my favourite bands. I thought about the question what home means and about origin and roots. And I wrote this post on the train, tearing up more than once, using this as a way to process what was going on.

One thing is certain, life constantly changes and there is no way to stop or slow down the train. What we can do, though, is see the chances and opportunities which are awaiting us at every station along the way. And keeping the happy memories from the past in our hearts.

I know we will come back a lot for holiday weekends to visit friends, enjoy relaxing walks and go for little excursions. We might even be more mindful knowing that we won't be there every other weekend. And we will build us a new home together, OUR little home.
In any case, it's not like everything from our old life is gone now. Many of our books, some of the furniture and of course the kinky implements have moved with us. I think we should be able to feel at home like that.

Friday, April 22, 2016

In Court (Part 2):

This is the second part of my report about our adventures at the Spanking Gerichtshof (spanking court) which Ludwig and I visited last year. You can find the first part here.

(Of course Ludwig and I also tried out the court bench and the implements as part of our preparation. Thanks to FJ for the picture.)

The event was very well organised by Donpascual aka Ramon Herzog. All charges were written down in advance and sent to the judges which helped us to prepare for the job. Sometimes they also included suggestions for the verdicts. The ideas for the storylines were often created by the soon-to-be defendants themselves, sometimes assisted by their partners (who usually called for a harsh punishment). In case the accused came to the event without a partner, another attendee was assigned to play the role of the prosecutor, so that almost everyone who actively participated in the event found themselves in both roles. Some of the crimes described in the indictments showed a lot of creativity and love for detail (even pictures taken by surveillance cameras were sometimes attached as evidence of what had happened).

There were also a few requests for special punishments from the participants or their partners which were taken into account as long as those who were supposed to carry our said punishments were comfortable with it. For instance, there were requests for an OTK spanking, a cavity search, a male punisher (for a male miscreant) and a birching on the legs. Ludwig and I read the indict and the special requirements and I gave Donpascual a feedback which law suits I felt comfortable leading as a new judge and which kind of punishments I was willing to carry out as a bailiff.

Since Ludwig isn't really into M/M spankings, Donpascual volunteered to do the M/M scene. It was the first one ever which I had the chance to watch live. As those of you who know how much I am into M/M scenes can imagine, that was a really daunting prospect. It was clear to me that I wouldn't do the cavity search (too intimate) and that I didn't feel comfortable birching someone on the legs, either. I wasn't sure about the OTK spanking and told Donpascual that I had to see whether the chemistry with the potential victim was good enough to make me feel comfortable with that slightly more intimate position.

As I always say, it is important that a top's limits are respected as much as those of the bottom. And since I was a normal participant at the party who paid like anyone else, I didn't feel obliged to fulfil any requests I wasn't 100 per cent happy with. That proved not to be a problem at all during the event, though, and all special requests were indeed fulfilled. But I'll tell you more about that later in the part of my series that covers the actual event.

Before we went to the party, Ludwig and I had a few more things to organise, though. There was a dress code for the members of the court which meant black clothes combined with a white tie that would get a batch showing the Spanking Court logo. Fortunately, I didn't need a judge's robe. I could borrow one from Donpascual (it's a mess that I don't have a picture that shows me wearing it). So, we got all our stuff together, packed a bag with the things we needed and were ready for the big day.

When the day had come, we met our friend Fenris and drove to the location together. I definitely wasn't as nervous as I had been when I went to a spanking party for the very first time. But it was clear that this time, I would be much more active than I usually am at spanking events and that I would play with a number of strangers, albeit not as a bottom (I wouldn't have been comfortable with that). Furthermore, the nature of the event would require role-playing skills and I didn't really know what to expect, for instance concerning the participants, the overall tone and the severity of the punishments. Concerning the aspect of severity I knew that I am not a love-taps only type as a top, but it was of course clear that I would only top at a level of severity that would allow me to safely administer a punishment. One thing I wasn't really sure about, either, was how it would be for Ludwig and me to play with others again after a two-year-period of purposefully not having done that. But this is the story for a separated Kaelah's Corner post.

So, we went on the road, ready for adventures and curious what the day would bring.
(To be continued...)

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Kinky Russia (Part 2):
Lake Baikal

This is the second part of our photo sets from our trip with the Trans-Siberian Railway through Russia. You can find the first part with kinky hotel room pictures here.


Lake Baikal is a rift lake in Southern Siberia. It is one of the must-sees in Russia and one of the stops almost everyone who travels the Trans-Siberian Railway on a holiday trip makes.

We stayed for a few days and went on a little hiking trip to get a better view of the lake from above. It was a beautiful day and the sun was shining, causing the ripples on the lake to sparkle. When we found a slightly secluded space where the risk of being seen by others was very small, we (okay, mainly I) decided to take some kinky pictures in this wonderful environment.

I hope you enjoy them!

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Kaelah's Corner (Mar 2016):
On Being Mr and Mrs Rohrstock-Palast

Yes, it's true, folks! Ludwig and I are finally married. While other couples split up after seven years, we decided it was a good time to take the next step.

As you can imagine, I am not the princess type. So, there were no white horses, no carriage, no heart-shaped balloons (or white doves) or any of that stuff. Just a little ceremony followed by a party with family and friends, involving good food, lovely conversation and lots of (progressive) rock and metal music.

I didn't wear a white wedding dress, either. First of all, I don't see why I should spend so much money on a dress which I only wear once in my life. Second, white is a colour that doesn't suit me. And third, wearing a white wedding dress (the colour of innocence) simply would have been a lie! :-) So, I wore my Chinese wedding dress which harmonized wonderfully with the bridal bouquet in warm colours that Ludwig had chosen. Ludwig wore an elegant suit and looked very handsome.

Some of you might remember that I have written about my commitment phobia a while ago. We took that into account by tailoring the event according to our needs and to who we really are. No vows to love each other forever (don't get me wrong, that's of course the plan, but I don't think it's something one can promise to another person), no talk about how we can't stop thinking about each another or about wanting to be together 24/7 (a horrible idea) or about how futile our lives would be without each other (we both wouldn't want to be with a person whose only sense in life comes from being with a partner).

Instead we made a little funny, tongue-in-cheek presentation about our history and years together and the time to come. Well, at least about those parts one would want to tell one's granny about! ;-) It was a very relaxed day, much more than we had expected. And we got the most wonderful compliment that I can imagine by several of our guests. Apart from telling us that they enjoyed the party and felt very comfortable and welcome, they said that they had rarely seen a bride and groom who were so relaxed and easy-going on their wedding day!

Let's hope that this is a good omen for our upcoming years together as Mr and Mrs!

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Kinky Russia (Part 1):
The Hotel Room

Last year, Ludwig and I travelled through Russia from Moscow to Vladivostok with the Trans-Siberian Railway. It was a very inspiring and wonderful trip!

We didn't manage to take lots of kinky pictures on our way (something I would be careful about in Russia, anyway), but when we stayed in a very beautiful hotel room, we of course had to use the opportunity to shoot a few sexy photos.

Whatever storyline might come to your mind when looking at them is completely up to you.

Can you see the marks on my bottom? There are the remainders of a scene Ludwig and I had a while earlier.

Here is a close-up. We invested quite a lot of time taking the pictures and you will see some more of them in the future. I hope you like them!

We did one outdoor shoot, too, on the shores of Lake Baikal. You will get to see those in the next instalment of this series.

Monday, March 7, 2016

In Court (Part 1):
The Prehistory

Two years after having visited our first spanking party in Germany, it was time for another adventure. And a new experience, too! While Ludwig and I had attended one schoolgirl themed party in the UK, we had never been to a roleplay event, muss less in an active role. For our friend Fenris, who accompanied us, this was a new experience as well, so he preferred to take the role of a spectator only this time.

Those among you who read our blog regularly will know Donpascual aka Ramon Herzog. He isn't only an avid commenter, Donpascual has also written a guest column about M/M spankings from a (heterosexual) man's point of view. Donpascual also writes his own German blog called Justitia Dolorem Facit. The title of his blog already gives you a hint what the party we visited was all about. The roleplay event which takes place twice a year is organised by Donpascual and called Spanking Gerichtshof (spanking court).

Now I have to admit that judicial scenes aren't really my cup of tea when it comes to the bottom perspective (except for naval judicial discipline involving young cadets of course). The idea of being charged for some misdeed and punished (maybe even by unapologetic officers) with others watching doesn't push my buttons. But the role of a judge is a completely different thing – exactly the right position for a control freak like me. Which is why I offered Donpascual to take that responsibility as one of three judges for the event.

When Chrystal, my very experienced colleague, greeted his two new female fellow judges via e-mail and told us that he hoped we knew what we had signed up for, I could easily explain to him why I was the right person for the job. Okay, it was just supposed to be one step on my way to taking over the world, but, hey, for a hypocrite and smart-ass like me it was a good one. The real reason why I wanted to be a judge was the little hammer, though. I always wanted to be the one with that little hammer which could be smashed on the table as a sign of authority! Kristall added another very valid reason. The judge's robe looks really good!

The court did not only need judges, though, of course someone also had to carry out the verdicts (read: spankings). And so Ludwig offered to work as a bailiff for the female offenders. It turned out that the correct form was offender because there was only a single female one, but Sissi really rocked the event on her own! I offered to carry out some of the punishments, too, not anticipating how much work that meant. Luckily, I shared my "load" with a wonderful experienced fellow bailiff who already knew several of the miscreants. Together we selflessly punished five errant guys  in order to help them to become better human beings.

(To be continued...)

Monday, February 29, 2016

Kaelah's Corner (Feb 2016):
Lucky Seven

This month was the seventh anniversary of Ludwig's and my first-ever play together. It marked my introduction into the world of erotic spanking and also was an important step on our way to becoming a couple. Looking back, I am still very happy that my “first spanking” was such a wonderful experience, with so much preparation and ceremony.

We re-enacted a part of that very first scene in our clip Enter the Dachshund which was my starting point into making kinky video clips. I still like that video, too, even though my reactions might be a bit too restrained for some viewers and I certainly would be more open to showing (at least slightly) stronger reactions today, as you will be able to see in the remaining videos which are still to be published.

I think that both occasions required very similar conditions in order to become the good, empowering experiences that they were for me: trust, open communication, respect and true care for each other. Those qualities, which already played a role in the ceremony seven years ago, are also the cornerstones for our relationship today.

But years later, it also became clear to Ludwig and me that in addition to all the preconditions we took care of, we were simply lucky that everything worked out so well. For instance, we filmed the action scene twice for the clip because when we watched the footage together, we found out that we both weren't quite happy with the look of the first take. I'm very glad that we had an eye on this before editing the clip and agreed on taking the time to shoot the scene again, because otherwise publishing the clip could easily have made me feel uneasy instead of happy.

And during our first play there also was one scene which Ludwig and I described as follows in our original account (Ludwig's comments are italic, mine bold): For the caning, I wanted to up the ante even more. “Since this is the grand finale, you are going to take everything off now” I told Kaelah. “Understood?” She nodded. So, after removing her bra and knickers as instructed, she stood before me in her full naked glory. I ordered her to stand up straight and put her hands behind her head. [You also told me to spread my legs a bit!] “You are very beautiful” I said while I took a good long look at her, first from behind, then from the front. After a brief pause, I stepped up to Kaelah, touched her upper left arm which she was holding behind her head, and ran my finger down the side of her body, barely missing her left breast. She didn't say anything, but I could tell that it was having an effect. [I was at least quite irritated. I hadn’t expected something like that and was trying to integrate the situation into my mindset. It was a strange mixture. In my mindset I saw it as a kind of obedience test. That fitted to the master / student scenario. But of course standing like that in front of a man who obviously enjoyed it also raised different thoughts…]

“It's a bit different from being in the sauna, isn't it?” I remarked casually, referring to something Kaelah had said during our first talk, when I asked her if she would have any objections against being naked. Kaelah suppressed a grin. “Yes, a little” she said quietly. [Since I thought of the whole thing as a kind of test, I tried to be really honest with my answer, like we had agreed beforehand. So, I needed a few seconds to think about the question. It’s not completely different, I thought, because being naked is something natural and I feel safe with Ludwig and not very ashamed, almost like being naked in the sauna. But, on the other hand, this was an erotic situation and being naked was a part of that erotic experience, so it somehow was different. And, of course, I usually don’t stand around in a position like that in the sauna! ;-)]

As you might already be able to see from the text, we both interpreted the scene slightly differently, so that it fitted into our respective mindsets. I suppose we both didn't have a clue how easily that little intermezzo could have given the scene a negative turn. Years later Ludwig touched my breast unexpectedly in a scene that was supposed to be a more formal one in my view. That stirred up bad memories referring to an incident from the distant past I hadn't even been aware of anymore. Of course Ludwig couldn't know about it, either, neither when it happened nor many years earlier during our first scene.

Today we both know many possible landmines we have to be careful about both in our vanilla relationship and in our kinky play. But even the most careful behaviour and planning doesn't guarantee that things can't go wrong at a certain point. So, I'm all the more thankful that my introduction into the world of erotic spanking was such a thrilling and wonderful experience.

How about you? Is there any very special kinky play you love to remember? Are you aware of any scenes that could have easily gone wrong at a certain point but luckily didn't? Or is there a scene that unexpectedly went wrong and in that gave you new insights about yourself or your play partner? You are very welcome to share your thoughts and memories in the comment section!