Our First Spanking Party in Germany (Part 2): Introducing the Cane

This is the second part of our report about our first spanking party in Germany. You can find part 1 here. As in the first post, Fenris's comments are bold and Ludwig's italic.

Fenris: Of course I was eager to play with my kinky mates and I was very glad that Kaelah took the lead and asked me if I wanted to try out some canes. I know that Kaelah and Ludwig have a very intimate relationship and was afraid to cause an embarrassing situation. I did not want them to play with me just out of politeness so I just waited and gave them the possibility to back out and just enjoy the evening without playing with me.

I have to say I was very honoured that Fenris had asked us (he would have been okay with being topped from Ludwig, too, but Ludwig let me do the honours since both Fenris and he aren't really into M/M fantasies) to introduce him to a more intense spanking session and to the cane. Trust is a very important part of my kink and being trusted like this made me very happy.

Fenris: Even while just going upstairs I felt great. As I totally trusted them, I was sure that my first real experience was going to be a good one. As Kaelah said, I am not into M/M, but getting topped by Ludwig would have been totally ok for me. I was glad we were in a booth with a curtain, a public play would have been a bit overwhelming for the first time.

[Ludwig: I am not phobic about M/M play, but neither do I get anywhere as much out of it as I get out of M/F (or F/M, for that matter). So I was happy to leave all the fun to Kaelah, who would appreciate it more.]

We had brought a bag with almost all of our toys and I began trying them out on Fenris while he bent over a couch. We started over the clothes since I wasn't sure whether Fenris felt comfortable pulling his trousers or his underpants down. Fenris looked like a kid in a candy store and eagerly tried out all the various implements.

Fenris was also game for a back whipping and so I secured him with a chain that was hanging down from the ceiling and whipped him with different floggers and whips. Of course I couldn't resist introducing him to our mean little rubber flogger, too. I really got into a flow, while Ludwig was watching us, well aware of the glee in my eyes. I alternated between forehand and backhand (after all, I had to make sure that both sides of Fenris's back got equal attention), happy to realise that my aim was good both ways. After he got a taste of how the rubber flogger feels like, Fenris exclaimed: “This one is really mean. Now I understand much better what Ludwig went through in the football bet clip.”

After the back whipping we gave Fenris a break and Ludwig showed him how to handle a cane. I was the training object. Of course I couldn't restrain myself (I am an exhibitionist after all) and so I asked Ludwig to make his final stroke really hard to show Fenris how such a stroke looks like for real. Then it was Fenris's turn to handle a cane. He had never caned anyone before, but proved to be a natural talent with a good aim.

[Ludwig: It had been some time since I had last used a cane, so initially, I was a bit rusty myself. As well as that, I always emphasise that everyone has their own caning technique, so I encouraged Fenris to treat my demonstration and the hints I gave him as suggestions, rather than as a strict: "This is how it's done!" Some people prefer to use a strong wrist flick (as I do), while others find that keeping the wrist stable and using only their arm to generate pace comes more naturally to them. Some people like to stand very upright while they swing the cane, while others (like me) have an almost martial arts-like stance. Whatever your style is, the important thing is that you feel comfortable and confident and that your aim is accurate.]

Fenris: Actually, I felt much more insecure when it was my turn to use the cane. I identify as a switch and felt extremely honored that Kaelah let me top her. I would have been more than happy to get topped by Kaelah and did not expect her to let me top her. Actually, this was the first time I held an implement in my hand (by the way, I bought my first cane at the party, a peeled straight junior cane). Kaelah and I have a very similar kink and I valued her trust but was afraid I could do something wrong and actually hurt her. It may sound strange but if you always dreamed about something, you sometimes just do not expect the mundane problems that suddenly arise. Where should I hit? With how much force? I was glad that Ludwig was my mentor and I just tried to imitate what he did.

[Ludwig: I can relate very well to Fenris's initial insecurities. Despite the fact that most of my spanking fantasies were "toppy" ones, I had made my first practical experiences with spanking on the bottom side, because I felt I should know what that is like before I topped anyone myself. And when I did first play as a top, I felt more insecure than during my first play as a bottom! I think it comes with the responsibility you feel as a top. As a bottom, your role is a much more (though not entirely) passive one. When you are topping, on the other hand, you are the one wielding the implement(s), and you are responsible for the bottom's well-being and safety. That can be quite overwhelming for a novice. Fenris needn't have worried, though, because he was making rather a good job of it right away.]

After that, I was tied to the ceiling and received a double back whipping from Ludwig and Fenris. Being whipped with two floggers was a very enjoyable experience. The two guys proved to be a good team. Of course we took a picture of the results, as we had done with Fenris, too. Then it was time for a break. Ludwig and Fenris went downstairs and got us some refreshing non-alcoholic drinks (I am sure you have heard of the important rule “Don't drink and spank.”).

Being refreshed, Fenris was up for a second round. Ludwig wasn't in the mood for being on the receiving end of a spanking, thus he preferred to be an observer only this time. I was a bit more self-confident now, having gained a good feeling for Fenris's limits. Fenris had also told me that he was comfortable being spanked with his pants being pulled down (he had already bared his bottom in order to get some pictures of his marks).

[Ludwig: If there is one thing I regret about that particular party, it's the fact that I did not play on the bottom side at all. I considered it, but I had been feeling a bit ill that day, all day long - had it not been for our plans to visit the spanking party, I probably would not have left the house at all. So I decided against trying out a few strokes on the bottom side as well, which was probably wiser. The downside was that I felt like I did not "fully" participate in the event. And I did feel a bit left out at times, because it was Kaelah and Fenris who got most of the action, while I was only joining in as a top occasionally. Nonetheless, it was an enjoyable evening for me as well, and the next time we played with Fenris, I felt better and fully took part in the action myself.]

First we started with some more backwhipping, though. But then I cheerfully told Fenris: “Well, drop your pants, then, young man, and bend over.” For this final part of Fenris's initiation I had decided to give him 12 cane strokes. I went a bit harder this time, pushing Fenris's limits. Thinking back to my very first spanking experience I knew that he wanted a “real” initiation and some marks to show afterwards. Fenris took the strokes very well and so I decided to put him up for one more final challenge.

When it was time for the last stroke, I told him that I would like to do this one really hard if he was up for it. Fenris had told us that more severe scenes in spanking films made him feel uncomfortable and I wanted to show him that severe strokes could be okay after a warm-up, being sure from his reactions to the previous strokes that he could take it. Fenris looked a bit scared, but after a moment answered that he would give it a try. So I stepped back, took aim, and brought down the cane really hard. Fenris definitely struggled with the pain, but he was still very brave. I gleefully watched his reactions and waited for him to catch his breath. Then I congratulated him on his first intense caning. Now he definitely had something to show for it, too, a lovely set of dark stripes on his bottom.

Fenris: Reading about Kaelah’s feelings now, more then two years later, makes me relive the moment. I did not realize that Kaelah enjoyed our play as much as I. The caning on the bare was the first time I struggled with the pain.

I remember saying in the midst of the caning „Maybe the abolishment of corporal punishment wasn’t such a bad idea“ to which she replied „Well, it seems to work then“. I was high on endorphins and was a bit proud that my first spanking did include a caning. Kaelah was very good at reading my reactions and waited long enough between the strokes to let the pain fade away until I was ready for the next stroke. After the caning I probably felt like a freemason after his initiation ceremony. I had experienced what had occupied my mind for about twenty years.

[Ludwig: A couple of days later, Fenris wrote us a very nice email in which he thanked us for having helped him to make a dream come true and act out something about which he had fantasised for, literally, decades. It is very gratifying to be part of someone's first BDSM session and know that they've had a great experience. Actually, it is probably one of the best things to come out of this blog, among so many other good things - proof that something as silly as a kinky blog can indeed change people's lives, in a subtle yet real way.]

Kaelah's Corner (Nov 2015): Coming Home

Due to me being still slightly ill, it has been quiet on this blog since LOL Day. Unfortunately, Ludwig couldn't jump in, either. The reason for that is a very good one, though. We have finally decided that it is time to take our relationship to the next step!

That means we are moving in together. And as those among you who have done this before surely know (especially those who lived alone for quite a while before taking that step), merging two households into one requires quite a lot of work. Since I wasn't fit enough to get many things done in the past weeks, Ludwig had to help out a lot. So, lots of vanilla stuff (but really good vanilla stuff), not much time for kink.

Well, at least not much time to practise any kink or write about it. I had a lot of time to fantasize about kinky stuff, though, since I partly was so tired and drained of energy that I couldn't leave my bed for very long. So, lots of time to create stories about errant cadets and strict officers in my head.

As for Ludwig and me, it is wonderful to see what a long way we have come! On LOL Day 2008 I wrote my first-ever comment on this blog and Ludwig became aware of my existence for the very first time. Well, at the time, due to my nickname and its original spelling, he thought I was a German guy with a Turkish background, as he explained in his post about how we became a couple. But I soon convinced him otherwise when I sent him my first e-mail.

So, it all started out with this blog and with a common interest in an erotic kink. And now, seven years later, our life together consists of so much more than spanking. The kink is still there, though, even if its importance has decreased and its focus has changed. In fact, Ludwig is facing the prospect of a severe caning right now. Well, actually he asked for it. And who am I not to oblige to such a nice request?

At first, I have to recover a bit more from the sickness, though. And of course there is still lots of vanilla stuff to be done before our home is as we want it to be. But I am sure we will be able to fit in a caning somehow. After all, it only takes a few minutes, right? Okay, plus the time we need to set up the cameras, shoot the intro, get the lights right and so on. Thinking about it, maybe we should block a day or two...

Global Day(s) of Delurk 2015

Unbelievable, it's that time of the year again! Actually we hadn't planned to be still blogging these days, but we simply don't manage to edit all the final posts and videos which we like to share with you before we leave.

LOL Day, or the Global Day of Delurk, as we call it here on our blog, was invented by Bonnie and is now organised by Hermione. Thank you very much to both of you! It's the day when we thank our silent readers for being there and invite you to say hi if you feel inclined to do so.

I wrote my first-ever comment on this blog on LOL Day 2008 (under my old nickname K'Ehleyr). This was the first contact between Ludwig and me and my starting point as a member of our little kinky community. Less then half a year later, I had made my first erotic spanking experience with Ludwig and we had become a couple. So you can imagine that this occasion has a very special meaning to us.

In the past years we regularly offered to shoot a spanking clip that involved a certain number of strokes depending on the number of comments or a scenario that could be chosen by the readers. This resulted in a few very different clips: 48, A LOL Day Switching, Tit for Tat and Office Discipline.

There won't be a clip this year, though. As I already mentioned, we still have lots of clips to edit which we already shot earlier, like, for instance, my blogiversary birching. Plus, I am not fit at the moment (which is why there haven't been any posts recently) and not up for any spanking activities.

So, instead of any big activities, this year's LOL Day post merely consists of a huge "Thank you!" to all of our readers. And a heartfelt invitation to stop by and say hello, even if there is no additional incentive to do so other than that we would love to hear from you!

Kaelah's Corner: Seeking Out Pain

In my recent Kaelah's Corner post From Bottom to Top I wrote about my change from someone who played only on the bottom side when I started living out my erotic spanking fantasies to someone who usually only prefers the bottom role in explicitly sexual play today and the top role in more formal scenarios. One thing that has changed, too, over the past years, is my relationship with pain.

When I began to play as a bottom, pain of a certain intensity used to turn me on (in the context of erotic spanking). It didn't work when the pain was too strong and when I didn't have any time to get used to it, like, for instance, during our first very severe scene which we made for a video clip. But with pain that started out moderately and became stronger in the end it worked out well.

It seems like I have lost the ability to be turned on by pain during the last years, though. Maybe it has to do with the fact that part of the attraction that kink has for me comes from the feeling of being tough and strong. Maybe that desire was what made the feeling of pain attractive for me because I knew it would make the experience feel real and it would bring me Ludwig's admiration and the admiration of others as well. I also wanted to be able to keep up with Ludwig's admired friends like Niki Flynn and the Mood Pictures and Lupus Pictures models in regard of the severity of the scenes which I had done and my pain threshold.

Maybe the attraction of going through painful scenes ceased when I had the feeling that I had done everything I wanted to do in this regard and that I didn't have anything to prove to anyone anymore. I am not sure whether feeling pain ever was something I wanted intrinsically. Maybe it was only something I needed to go through in order to get the feeling of strength and admiration that I sought out.

And maybe that's why pain doesn't turn me on today anymore. Now that I can feel strong and happy through topping as well, I sometimes really wonder and ask myself why I should be interested in feeling pain? Even the idea of having marks to show around isn't as sexy anymore as it used to be. I've recently done one final severe caning as a bottom which Ludwig and I want to publish as a free video. It was a scenario that we both thought was missing and that we both wanted to do.

But still, for me the creative element was the most attractive part of the caning and the whole experience for me. The pain was simply pain and the marks were nice but my main concern was that they wouldn't take too much time to heal.

It seems like others have experienced similar changes as well. When Adele Haze did a fifty strokes video for the Backlash campaign, she admitted that she hadn't bottomed for more than a year. During the caning it also became clear that nowadays she obviously prefers to experience a kind of pain that is within her comfort zone and makes her feel good rather than pushing her to or even over her boundaries. When Niki Flynn left the scene, it also seemed that she had enough of experiencing pain and couldn't see any reason why she should continue to seek out painful experiences.

So I wonder, are others out there who have made similar experiences? Do you have any explanations? Please share your thoughts in the comment section!

Our First Spanking Party in Germany (Part 1): Meeting Fenris

A week ago, Ludwig and I went to a special spanking event here in Germany, together with our reader and friend Fenris. We are going to tell you more about that soon. But before we do, we would like to write about our very first spanking party in Germany which we already visited two years ago but haven't posted about, yet. At this party, I introduced Fenris to the cane and got a double-topping from Fenris and Ludwig. But let's start from the very beginning.

Ludwig, Fenris and I have decided to write this post together, to give you all the different perspectives. Fenris's comments are bold and Ludwig's italic.

We got to know Fenris through our blog. He started commenting in December 2011. A short time later, Fenris sent us an email which was the start of a regular correspondence.

Fenris: Followers of the blog may have read my comments, although I have been a bit lazy for a while. As Kaelah stated, I started to comment almost 4 years ago but had been a regular reader before that. I have had a fetish for spanking / CP at least since primary school. Of course, long before puberty, I did not know that this strange interest was somehow linked to my sexuality.

I vividly remember how embarrassed I feltwhen there were descriptions of corporal punishment in books we read in school. I was afraid that, if the teacher had asked me to read aloud in class, every single classmate would have spotted the pervert in their midst. Chances are that I am not the only spanko who never thought there might be others with the same interest, let alone a scene or people who actually do "the thing we do". I was about fifteen or sixteen when I got my first internet access and, of course, looked for all things about spanking and CP. This was long before Web 2.0 and blogging. I was probably in my early-20s when I started to realize that there are actually other people with the same interest.

At the end of 2011, I was totally burned out from a very stressful job I had at the time and suffered from depression. Kaelah’s and Ludwig’s as well as other blogs really kept my mind busy with something I could enjoy and I read every single post at the Rohrstockpalast from the very beginning. When I read about Niki Flynn’s book "Dancing with werewolves", I immediately downloaded the kindle version and devoured it voraciously. It was like an awakening. I contacted Kaelah and Ludwig primarily to thank them for their blog and the enjoyment it provided to me.

[Ludwig: I remember clearly when Fenris first wrote to us. Kaelah and I get a lot of mails, but while most people just briefly say "Hi, and thanks for the blog!" or ask me if I can help them get a guest role in a video so that they can cane a spanking model, Fenris sent us a long, personal and highly articulate email. That is rare even for us. I remember thinking right away that this could become an interesting correspondence.]

After a while, we also met a few times for dinner, all in a very vanilla setting (although the topics we talked about weren't vanilla). As you know, Ludwig and I don't play a lot with others and are more interested in chatting. But over time, Fenris turned from a stranger into a friend, and when he asked us whether we would like to go to a spanking party in Germany with him, we happily agreed.

Fenris: I always enjoyed blog posts about spanking parties, especially in the UK. If I remember correctly, I just googled "spanking party" and realized that there are actually parties in Germany. Alone, I could not muster the courage to attend. A party with total strangers can be bad enough, but when something as intimate as BDSM is involved, things are even worse. So I just asked Kaelah and Ludwig, although I hesitated quite a bit, as I did not know whether they actually would like to attend a party with me.

[Ludwig: Truth be told, Kaelah and I aren't eager party-goers. It may sound strange for two people who run a blog and publish videos, but we are both fairly shy individuals, actually. When we meet other spankos, it's usually in smaller groups rather than at a big, "official" event with a crowd of strangers. However, we knew the organisers of this particular party by reputation, and they sounded very nice. Also, we would be going with Fenris, whom we had already met in person. So it all sounded rather pleasant and exciting.]

We didn't know how much we would like to play at such a public event, but we were curious to see how the parties in Germany were compared to the ones which we had visited in the UK and the US. So we chose to go to a Spanking / BDSM / Fetish party which was organised by Yoko and Randy and took place at the BEDO studio in Dortmund. Fenris, Ludwig and I already met before the party at the place where we had decided to stay for the night after. Thus, we could drive to the location together. I felt great, going to a kinky party with two men at my side, my boyfriend and a good friend of ours, both smartly dressed and looking very handsome in their leather jackets.

Fenris: I felt very comfortable in Kaelah’s and Ludwig’s companionship and was actually looking forward to the evening. When we met before the party and I saw the implements they brought (having never seen a cane in real life), my anticipation skyrocketed.

When we arrived at the studio, we were greeted amiably by our hosts and at first took some time to explore the location. The BEDO studio is a rather huge BDSM location consisting of two floors with huge open spaces, lots of equipment and a few differently furnished smaller rooms for more private play. The first difference between this party and, for instance, Shadow Lane could easily be seen. The furniture and equipment of the studio catered to a wide range of BDSM kinks, not only spanking. The party we visited was quite focussed on spanking, but there seems to be a closer connection between spanking and other BDSM activities in Germany than in the UK or the US. Of course we had to try out at least some of the equipment and take a few pictures (the photo quality isn't too good, but I think you get a good impression)!

[Ludwig: Kaelah and I have already noted on several occasions that there is less seclusion between the spanking scene and the "wider" BDSM scene in Germany than in English-speaking countries. It's interesting to speculate about the cultural reasons for this. In any case, there were many locations and devices in this big studio to look at and examine. One was a rather regal chair, so of course, being "Mad King Ludwig", I had to sit on it and have my picture taken. Kaelah loves taking photos and gathering material for the blog on such occasions, she's always planning ahead. Within a couple of minutes, we had enough for three or four future posts. That's German efficiency right there!]

The party started with a very tasty buffet and we had time to get comfortable and also chat with some of the other guests. It was great to meet another reader of our blog in person who had also commented before, der_Wolf. A look around revealed a second difference between this party and the ones which we had visited before. The average age of the guests was much higher. Apart from us there were only very few other people aged younger than 40. But everyone was friendly and having fun, so we didn't care much about the generation gap.

After a strengthening meal, we strolled around the studio again and finally found a semi-secluded place were we settled for some play. Fenris had only made one experience with kinky spanking before and he hadn't tried many implements, yet. This was about to change now.

(To be continued...)

Naughty Adventure in the Alps

A while ago Ludwig and I went on a hiking trip in the Alps. The weather was great and we had an awesome view from the top of the mountain we climbed. To be honest, the 17 km day tour which went about 1,000 meters up and down again brought us to our physical limits.

But that didn't keep us from taking the time to shoot some wonderful pictures of the stunningly beautiful surrounding. Of course we had to include some more explicit ones for your kinky pleasure as well. 

We tried not to be seen but I still hope that no one with binoculars pointed them at us from afar at the wrong time and received a shock... And I hope that you enjoy the outcome of our adventure since I am sure that the view definitely won't shock you!

Informed Spanking

In my recent post From Bottom to Top I wrote about how my experiences as a bottom helped me to grow into the role of a top. In the comments section, both Simon and Gustofur explained how their journey had led them from topping only to being on the receiving end of spankings, too. Simon proposed that his experiences as a bottom in his view also made him a more considerate top.

I have said before that for several reasons I prefer playing with tops who are willing to switch. I don't want to indicate that "pure" tops can't be considerate, but in my opinion having experienced a spanking on the other end of the cane or strap or whatever can indeed be helpful. So, the least I expect from a top is knowledge of what a certain implement feels like and how severe it is compared to others. Of course, that can be learned on a theoretical level only, but in my mind the best way is to try out the implement oneself.

Which is why I was happy to have the chance to try out a birch for the very first time during our Guerilla Filmmaking experience last Sunday, because chances are good that I will administer the one or other birching during the upcoming weekend. After my first experience I told Ludwig: "I certainly won't start too rapidly with this implement." Of course it has to be taken into account that different bottoms have different preferences, pain thresholds and limits. But now I know from personal experience that despite its innocent looks and the rather soft marks that it produces, a birch is definitely on the severe end of implements. Thus I can dish out what I would call an informed birching.

And since I am a very considerate person, I wanted to return the favour and give Ludwig the chance to make the same informative experience. Which is (the only selfless reason) why I suggested that I would try out two or three strokes on him, too, after we had returned home from our video shoot.

Ludwig thought he remembered that he had tried out a birch with one of the professional dominatrices whom he visited when he started living out his kink. But since he wasn't 100 per cent sure and obviously didn't remember how a birching feels like, I insisted that a refresher was a good idea. Plus, it would also allow me to practise how to handle a birch as a top.

Ludwig had a lot of work to do, so when we arrived home, he quickly went back to work. He didn't get much stuff done, though, because I turned up at the door, slapping the birch against the palm of my hand. Ludwig turned around and looked at me questioningly. "Time for our try-out session", I told him.

Ludwig sighed. "Right now?" I nodded. And so he followed me to the bedroom, stepped out of his trousers and underpants and bent over the bed. I didn't have much space to swing, but it turned out that I didn't need to. After the first stroke, Ludwig exclaimed: "Ouch, that fucking thing hurts like hell!" I smiled and replied: "And I haven't even used it with much force. Plus, your first hits came in a much quicker succession when we filmed the clip." With that I added two more strokes, one right after the other. Ludwig jumped up. "Ouch, this thing is horrible! Okay, that's enough of an impression."

He grabbed his pants and got ready to put them on. By now, my inner sadist had been awakened, though. So I grabbed the pants in Ludwig's hands and tried to take them away from him. "You can have them back after ten strokes", I told him. "But you said two or three strokes as a try-out", replied Ludwig, "I am not in the mood for being spanked." He tried to pull his pants out of my hands but I didn't let go. After some moments of struggling (and me maybe mentioning that I had taken a lot more strokes and wanted to have some fun, too), Ludwig gave in.

He went back over the bed and I got to administer seven more strokes accompanied by some beautiful reactions from Ludwig. He also told me when the birch was wrapping around a bit too much or tips of the branches hit the middle crease of his bottom. That seems to be a special problem of that implement because the twigs have different lengths. So the birching really had some learning effects for me, too, aside from the fun. Afterwards Ludwig exclaimed that the birch was almost worse than the cane. Which reassured me that I hadn't been wimpy when I had been on the receiving end.

So, I think we can now both dish out an informed birching, should we get to do so next weekend or some time in the future. And of course I am glad that I could help Ludwig out. I am always ready to selflessly offer him that service. After all, "informed spankings" are very important in my view!

Guerilla Filmmaking

Today Ludwig and I shot my blogiversary clip. Thank you very much to all of you who participated in the vote! The final tally added up to the round number of 30 strokes. I hope you will enjoy the resulting clip (which might take a few weeks to edit, but I'll try to finish that task as quickly as possible).

In order to make the video, Ludwig and I stood up at 6 am. Ludwig said he couldn't remember the last time he had got up so early on a Sunday morning. Me neither. But special occasions require special measures.

Our first excursion - it was still completely dark - led us to a birch tree where we cut branches (you know what for). Then we went back home and packed all the things which we would need for the shoot. I had ordered a new dress especially for this video because I always wanted to make an outdoor clip in an elvish dress. Before we left, I freed the birch twigs from their leaves and bound them together in a nice, fresh birch.

The main task now was to find a spot that looked nice, held enough space to set up the cameras and was secluded enough to protect us from being seen by passersby. We didn't know such a space and hoped for good luck. Our second problem: It was raining quite heavily. But the weather forecast said that the weather was supposed to be better in a region nearby. The map told us that there were some small forests in that region, too. So we decided to try our luck.

When we arrived, the night had gone completely, but it was still raining a bit and there was no sunlight to see. We went on a little hiking trip and found a place that, while not being perfect, suited our purpose. In the meantime, the rain had indeed stopped so that we could set up our equipment. We had to hurry a bit, though, because we weren't sure that the area was as secluded as we would have liked it to be.

I had never been birched before, so I was very curious to find out how it feels like. That's why I chose this implement for the clip, despite of other good suggestions which had been made by some of the commenters.

As I already mentioned in my blogiversary post, it wasn't my intention to do an extremely severe scene this time, since Ludwig and I already have another severe caning video in line (I will tell you more about that one soon). A birch seemed to be the right implement for the purpose of a medium severe scene, since the German Wikipedia article says that the birch was replaced by the cane in schools because canes were more severe and didn't need to be applied to the bare bottom in order to make an impression. I should have looked at the English article of course, which explains how much the birch was dreaded, for instance, amongst prisoners!

The only time I had tried how a birch feels like was when I had made one for my Santa Claus pictures. This birch was made of branches from some bush, though, which were quite dry. Twigs were flying around everywhere when I tried it on myself. The strokes didn't hurt all that much, although the tips easily caused little bloody spots.

I expected that the experience with our new, real birch would be similar. How completely wrong I was! That f***ing little b**ch¹ hurt like hell. There was no shredding at all since the twigs were still completely fresh and bendable. There were no extreme marks and no blood-drawing, either. There was only pain. Lots of pain. I guess the fact that it wasn't exactly warm outside didn't help, either.

Ludwig was so worried that we might get caught that he dished out the first eight strokes  at a fairly high speed until I cut because the pain became overwhelming. There was no chance that I could take 30 strokes like that without being a complete mess afterwards. I told Ludwig and he continued with a slightly lower speed and less impact. It still hurt, but it was bearable.

When it was over, I took a short look at the footage. I realised that the position I had been in wasn't the most favourable one given the shape of my bottom and the fact that I suffer from cellulite as many women do. In addition to that, I was of the opinion that the later strokes looked too tame on video (important insight: birches aren't good implements for spanking videos – while they sting like hell, they don't easily leave strong marks and don't really look severe). I told Ludwig, who was already taking down the cameras, about my observations.

"I want to repeat at least the last strokes", I said to him. "Why didn't you make up your mind right away?" he asked, "Then I wouldn't have taken down all the equipment already..." As you can imagine, Ludwig wasn't too happy about the prospect of setting everything up again, spending significantly more time on the site and risking being caught. But he obliged. He knows me well enough to be aware of how grumpy I am when I am not happy with the result of something I have put lots of effort into.

So, we set the cameras up again and started a second time, beginning at stroke eleven. At first, I accidentally started counting in German instead of English, so we had to start over a second time. The strokes were severe again this time and I had to struggle through them, crying out and hissing the whole time. But when we were done and I took a short look at the footage, I was content.

Of course, the footage isn't perfect, but that's the drawback of guerilla filmmaking. There is no time to set the cameras up for a perfect angle, there is no time to wait for the perfect light (there was no sunlight at all during the shoot, in fact it started raining again at the end) and the the sound is far from perfect, too, unless you have an external microphone.

We will try to make the best out of the footage and I am positive that we will find a way to enhance the sound a bit, too. I hope I will be happy with the resulting clip (still not content with the looks of the first ten strokes) and I hope you will like it, too.

By the way, I later tried the birch on Ludwig as well. After all, my sadistic side needs some attention, too! The test proved that I hadn't been wimpy. In fact, Ludwig said that in his opinion, the birch we made is worse than a cane. I'll tell you more about that little scene in my next post. For now, I hope you enjoy the preview pictures from our outdoor blogiversary clip.

 ¹ fascinating little branch

Kaelah's Corner (Sep 2015): From Bottom to Top

As you might have realised from some of my recent posts, it seems that I have developed more of a toppy mindset than when I began to practise erotic spanking. Of course, not every bottom goes through this kind of change, as, for instance, Erica Scott has pointed out eloquently in several of her posts. But it doesn't seem an uncommon development. And I have wondered what drives this kind of change.

When I think back to my first kinky fantasies, I was usually only an observer. I think I identified more with the bottoms than with the tops in my fantasy scenarios, but I still imagined the scene from both points of view.

Later, when I started out trying spanking for real with Ludwig, it was clear to me that I would make my first experiments as a bottom. The idea of being spanked turned me on and I wanted to be guided through the experience. I always used to top a lot from the bottom, as is for instance obvious in our account of our very first scene together. But I also sought the experience of letting myself fall, and that is only possible as a bottom.

Part of my kink is about being accepted and admired for something I do, which is most probably the main reason why I live out my kink so publicly and write a blog. Doing certain scenes (for instance, the more severe ones), made me feel strong and granted me Ludwig's and the audience's admiration. Our first scene wasn't an initiation ritual for no reason, and I very much enjoyed the experience of collecting more and more experiences and becoming an active member of the online spanking community.

I think that having achieved a certain level of experience as a bottom was what finally made it possible for me to also try myself as a top. By then I felt comfortable enough to take over control, which proved to be something that gives me pleasure as well. I had done enough scenes as a bottom, some rather explicitly for Ludwig, thus I felt I could ask something from him in return.

Again, the idea of being trusted enough from someone to be accepted as a top and to be allowed to be in control was an idea that turned me on. That's why it was especially thrilling to have Ludwig switch for me, because he is mostly a top and only switches on rare occasions for people he deeply trusts. Therefore, topping also gave me a feeling of strength and was another role in which I could gain experience, acceptance and maybe even admiration.

Today, I see myself as a real switch. In my intimate sexual play, my fantasies are mostly bottom fantasies, which I think has to do with the fact that these fantasies allow me to be more passive, to let go and focus on my own pleasure. In my more formal fantasies and role-play scenes, I prefer the role of a top now. I like the feeling of power, of being in control and of others trusting me. Playing on both sides can make me feel strong and accepted, especially when it is in public or accounts, pictures or videos of it are posted on our blog.

So I think that the shift from bottom to top has something to do with experience and the feeling of having done enough things on the bottom side to become a trustworthy top who can lead others. In my kinky and my vanilla fantasies, the main characters also usually make that development from student to teacher, cadet to instructor or the like.

Maybe the shift also has to do with the fact that pain doesn't really turn me on anymore and that I therefore don't seek it out often in my kinky play nowadays. That's a topic I want to cover in a separate post, though. For today, I would love to hear your experiences with changing (or not changing) preferences and roles in your kinky play. For those who switched from the bottom role more into the top role: Do you have any explanation for that shift? I would love to hear about your thoughts in the comment section!

Military Discipline Fantasies (Part 2)

This is the second part of our photo set shot in a military fort. You can find the first half of the pictures here.

In one of the bunkers on the side, Ludwig and I tried to picture how kinky military discipline in the quarters of young cadets might have looked. Since the space was only sparsely furnished, a stool would probably have to do as a bench to bend over.

Spankings would surely have been on the bare bottom, either with the hand for minor infractions or with a whip or cane for more serious offences.

And in the first weeks especially, the view of well-chastised cadets kneeling on a stool in a corner, contemplating their misdeeds, would surely have been a common one.

Afterwards, many of them would have slept with a very sore bottom. All in the name of order and discipline. It's not like any of the instructors secretly enjoyed their duty. Or some of the cadets the very special views they got of their fellow mates...

Speaking of spankings and views - if you want to participate in the vote for my blogiversary spanking, you still have the chance to do so until Sunday 23:59 h German time!

Kaelah's Corner (Aug 2015): The Dirty Halfdozen

I've been away and didn't have access to the blog, hence a very belated edition of Kaelah's Corner. And a special one, too, because this edition marks my sixth blogiversary. I didn't expect to reach this mark, but Ludwig is so extremely busy right now that we don't manage to edit our final videos and posts and so this blog continues for a bit longer than planned.

I thought about what I could do to celebrate my blogiversary and decided to follow a good old tradition. We will make another (most probably final) blogiversary clip in cooperation with our readers and commenters. It won't be an extremely severe clip because we already have one final severe caning with me on the receiving end in the queue. But I would like to do something very dear to my heart this time – an outdoor clip! I don't know whether we will find a good, safe environment for this purpose, but we will try.

To thank especially those who have been active commenters throughout the last six years, the rules will be as follows: Every commenter on this post will add one stroke to the tally, plus one stroke for every of my last five blogiversary posts and my first-ever post six years ago you commented on. Comments have ceased in the last months, so I am curious to see how many strokes I will get.

I haven't decided on an implement, yet, so I would like to hear your suggestions. Which implement do you think fits best? In my opinion, it should be something that suits an outdoor scene.

Many thanks to all of you who have accompanied me and Ludwig through the past six years (or a part of that time)! Writing a blog would be dull without readers and commenters.

Comments will be counted until Sunday the 27th September 23:59 h German time, so don't post your comment too late! I look forward to hearing from you. (Update: Please give yourself some kind of nickname in your comment, I can't count anonymous comments.)

Military Discipline Fantasies (Part 1)

A while ago, Ludwig and I had the chance to visit a Cold War field fortification. Luckily, the weapon systems stationed there never had to be used. Today, the whole facility makes for a very interesting museum.

While the idea of people killing each other in war makes me sad, the idea of military discipline is a hot one in the context of kinky fantasies. And so I couldn't resist the temptation to use the old systems for a much more peaceful and sexy purpose than the one they were originally made for. I don't know how long we stayed there exactly, but it was quite some time and we took a huge bunch of pictures!

Bending over like in the picture above would have been rather dangerous, had the gun still been in use. It would be a nice position for a caning or whipping, though, in my view.

This is not exactly a spanking position, but still a familiar one in the world of BDSM. I love the combination of nature and machinery.

While the pictures, or at least the ones shown here, aren't very explicit (hey, there were other people around!), I still like them very much. Okay, despite of the other visitors I couldn't refrain from having Ludwig take a few naughtier photos when no one could see us. I'll show you those in a follow-up post, soon.

Well, except for this one, which is already a bare bottom picture. I guess this position is much safer than the one in front of the barrel. Seems to be quite suitable for a spanking, too, though. Hope you enjoyed the pictures. If you like them, there is more to come!

Kaelah's Corner (Jul 2015): A Towel to Wipe Away the Tears

I entered the small establishment leaving the heat outside behind me. Without the need for instructions, I took off my shoes and put on a pair of slippers. I was greeted by two petite women. Quickly, I made my way to the lady's room to make sure I was well prepared for what was about to come. When I returned, I was led to a small compartment, already familiar to me from earlier visits.

It was spartanly equipped and I instantly spotted the one size fits all uniform which lay there waiting for me. I stepped out of my clothes and put on the trousers and the shirt. It covered my modesty, but the thin fabric didn't offer much protection. "Are you ready?" The call came from outside. "Almost." I pinned up my hair to get it out of the way and positioned myself face down on the mattress and closed my eyes.

One of the women entered the room. She had already been doing the job for quite a while, but today, she would only be watching, learning new techniques from the mistress herself. "I'm sorry, today it will be painful with her", she said, sounding serious. Then she joked: "Here is a towel for the tears." I looked up and replied: "Oh, and I thought it would be something to bite on." While the mood was a playful one, I knew that the comment about the upcoming pain was indeed correct. The idea of being a demonstration object scared me a bit, but I knew I was in experienced hands.

Then she entered the room. The session started. My whole body was game. She started with the feet and then went to the legs. The back of my legs is extremely sensitive and soon, I was thinking about safewording. Breath in the pain, breath out of the pain, I repeated in my head in order to calm myself down. My legs were soon on fire, even more so because of the hot cream that was used. It was clear that I would keep a few marks for the next several days.

The apprentice watched eagerly. She remarked how brave I was. From time to time I could see a glimpse of sympathy in her eyes. Not so in the mistress's actions. Quite the opposite: having found a spot I strongly reacted to always seemed to motivate her to pay even more attention to that area.

Most of the time I didn't understand what was said because it was in a foreign language. But I did understand the German instructions that were meant for me. So, I changed my position as ordered, put my hands behind my head, bent down and pulled off the shirt so that the mistress could pay attention to my bare shoulders and back. Sometimes the pain seemed unbearable. Then it took away my breath and made me tap my fingers or wriggle my legs. Sometimes the pain mingled with pleasure as I relaxed.

And finally it was over. Balm to reduce the pain was massaged into the skin on my back. I had survived. And I hadn't needed a towel to wipe away the tears. The whole session had lasted for almost one and a half hours. Without looking at the watch I would not have been able to tell, though. I thanked the mistress and was left alone again in order to get dressed.

When I left the compartment, I was greeted with: "Your tea is already waiting for you." It was time for the aftercare. I paid for my session first and directly made a new appointment. Then I snuggled into the cozy relax armchair and sipped my tea, feeling calm, happy and relaxed.

The next visitors, a young couple, were already waiting for their turn. They were led to the compartments. While I was still slowly sipping my tea, I could hear the woman moan and cry out gently. That's the normal background sound around here, I thought. When I was finished with my tea, I put back the tray and changed the slippers for my shoes. With a final farewell I left the establishment, greeted be the hot sun outside.

In the evening, while lying in bed with my muscles aching, I told Ludwig about my session on the phone. "A towel for the tears? That's cool." He laughed. "If that were a BDSM studio and not a Thai massage studio, the boss would surely be the most dreaded dominatrix", he remarked.

I am sure he is right. Especially because she has a few sayings which would suit a dominatrix very well, too. For instance: "I know it hurts. It must. Because then things will be getting better." Or: "You can scream if you like." And finally: "If you cry, I'll keep on laughing." To be fair, she also frequently apologizes for causing so much pain. And, it doesn't hurt all the time. Some parts of the massage are also pleasurable and relaxing.

And she is really good at her job. The massage helps me with my shoulder problems and makes me more bendable again. Plus, coming to the studio is like coming home. For one hour or more I feel very cared for and closely attended to. Afterwards I am as calm as I rarely am. Going to the massage is like an island in my everyday life, a time just for myself and a place to let go.

Thinking about it, that means it resembles the experience of going to a BDSM studio even more, I guess. I surely don't mind all the talk about pain and the hissing and moaning that can be heard almost every time I am there.

A Spanking Against Forgetfulness

Ludwig and I both have to juggle quite a few balls simultaneously in our everyday life. We both do pretty well, but, unfortunately, Ludwig is a bit of the absent-minded professor type sometimes. And so he tends to forget the one or other thing. Especially things which aren't that important in his view.

Like the springform tin I asked him to bring with him. Well, of course it really wasn't the most important thing on Earth, but not having the form caused some stress for me nonetheless. We had guests, and I had to reschedule my cooking plan because I now had only one tin instead of two as I had originally planned.

The next day we were making love in our bedroom when he admitted to me that he fantasized about being "punished" (we don't do real punishments, only playful fun punishments) for having missed an important deadline (much more important than the tin) a while ago. He had been lucky and everything could be fixed, but it had caused him some sleepless nights.

Since he couldn't punish himself (at least not with a spanking), he asked me whether I liked the idea of doing it. I wanted to know from him which punishment he would consider appropriate. Ludwig told me that he had thought about thirty cane strokes. I agreed with his assessment, but I wasn't up for such a severe scene right then.

Instead I told him: "There are other things which you've forgot and should be punished for as well. Like the springform tin which I would have needed yesterday." Ludwig wasn't too happy about the idea but he didn't have any good argument against my suggestion, either. I decided that a hand spanking would do the job in this case. And so I turned Ludwig around and pulled him over my lap on the bed.

I began to spank him hard on his bare bottom, slowly and systematically, putting all my energy into each smack. To my delight, Ludwig had to grit his teeth quite a bit and his rear end quickly turned red. It still amazes me that I am indeed able to cause these reactions with my small hand, especially from someone like Ludwig who can take a severe caning very stoically.

I paused in between sets of smacks, lecturing Ludwig that the springform tin had been important to me and that him not remembering to pack it meant more stress for me when we were having guests. Then I ramped up the speed which led to Ludwig grabbing the duvet with both hands and pressing his face into the cushion. He promised that he would try not to forget such things I asked him for in the future. I replied that he better should not and that he could write a note if it helped him.

Then I rounded the spanking off with a final series of hard and fast smacks. Again Ludwig stiffened as he gritted himself through the pain. Afterwards his bottom was visibly red, but my hand looked even worse. I cherished the result of my handiwork and the tingling in my own hand. Then I finished my other task at hand which had been interrupted by the spanking. Did the reminder work? We will see!

Kaelah's Corner (Jun 2015): Hand of Doom

Most of my spanking fantasy scenarios involve implements. The most common one certainly is the cane. In my real-life play I love hand spankings, though, and not only as a bottom. My hand is also my favourite spanking “implement” as a top.

Of course, one reason for that could be the intimacy and the direct skin-to-skin-contact. I assume that is what most tops might say when being asked what they like about giving a hand spanking. But I think it isn't the most important aspect for me.

See, as a top, I love to provoke reactions. They don't have to be extreme, but they should be visible and / or audible nonetheless. With some implements, that goal can be achieved quite easily due to their severity. However, the idea of causing these reactions with my hands only is much more appealing to me than the idea of using an implement to achieve that goal. Because then it's “really” and purely me who has triggered the response.

Furthermore, it allows me to feel the efforts that I'm putting into a spanking myself through the pain in my hand. And I can see the effect afterwards when my hand is about as red as the spankee's bottom. Maybe it's because I am a switch, but I really like that. It means that I can provoke reactions as a top while simultaneously pushing myself a bit as well.

My desire to cause reactions and control a situation with my hand isn't only limited to spanking, though. I also love to tickle Ludwig and enjoy his response. And I have a thing for handjobs which allow me to connect with my mate and to feel what kind of touch he needs right at a certain moment and which kind of movement causes the strongest reactions.

Originally, Ludwig's kink doesn't really involve hand spankings. At least not as a bottom. They have a domestic touch to him which isn't his cup of tea. But the fact that I am so enthusiastic about them has made hand spankings attractive to him, too. Because when he switches to the bottom side, Ludwig loves it when the top enjoys herself and lets out her sadistic streak. Which is what I certainly do when giving a hand spanking.

Surprisingly, I am also able to cause some rather vivid reactions from Ludwig with my small hand. That always fascinates me, especially because Ludwig is able to take a rather severe caning without making a fuss. He tells me that for some reason I seem to be able to cause a lot of pain with my hands. Or at least a kind of pain that is harder for him to bear than, for instance, the pain caused by a cane. Of course that revelation absolutely feeds my kink.

In my next post, I will write about a recent hand spanking scene between Ludwig and me. Ludwig already suggested that we should do a hand spanking video since I am so enthusiastic about it. I am not sure whether that would be a good idea, though. Because I don't want any smart asses to show up and comment that hand spankings can't really hurt and that men who show reactions to a hand spanking are wimps or whatever. Well, we'll see.

How about you? Do you like to give or receive hand spankings? If so, why? Are there any others out there who enjoy provoking reactions with their hand only as much as I do? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comment section!

The Island in the Lake

This is our last post about our adventures in Finland. We did not only visit a museum full of kinky pervertibles and had fun in the sauna at the lakeside. We also did some hiking on a beautiful, almost deserted island.

Ludwig and I were brought to the island by speed boat and agreed on a time when we would return later in the afternoon. We decided to walk the trail which went around the whole small island.

After about 1.5 – 2 hours of walking, we reached the halfway mark which had a viewpoint on a small cliff. We hadn't met anyone during our trip so far and so we decided to take the risk of shooting some naughty pictures.

Here you can see the results. I really love the combination of nature and nudity in pictures and so I like these ones very much.

It wasn't all sunny that day, as you can see. But I think the clouds make for a very special, wild and rough atmosphere.

On our way back, it turned out that we weren't in fact the only visitors on the island after all. So we were indeed lucky that no other visitors had turned up at the lookout while we were taking pictures.

There wouldn't have been any place to hide and I surely wouldn't have been able to put my clothes back on quickly enough. Oops!

It was a wonderful day, though, despite of our encounter with an awfully huge number of deer keds that accidentally mistook us for deer or moose. I spare you the details of that story. Enjoy the photos instead!