Kaelah's Corner (Dec 2013): Still Alive

It's the last day of 2013 and my last post for this year. Normally, this would be the time to look back to and marvel at all the kinky fun that was had in the past twelve month. This year there isn't much for Ludwig and me to look back to, though, at least in regard to sex and kink. It's only been in the last couple of weeks that my kinky mojo has slowly started to return.

Soon Ludwig and I will celebrate our fifth anniversary. I didn't know this before, but it seems that the forth year is the one in which most couples part. According to some studies, it's the time when the hormones that are running wild when two people fall in love have completely returned back to normal, which can lead to significant changes in the relationship.

Just at this time, there have been other major changes in my life as well and there are several more to come soon for both Ludwig and me. These changes have also affected our relationship, much more than I thought they would. I'm not good at dealing with changes and they often scare me and raise doubts. To cut a long story short, there were times in 2013 when both Ludwig and I were not sure whether our relationship would survive until the end of the year. But now the year is over and we are still here. We are adapting to the changes and we know that there are even more to come in 2014, but we are still together and it seems like we might be on the mend.

I have learned some important things about us during this year. Even in the darkest times, when fears and anger come up, neither of us runs away. Instead, we stay in close contact, we talk a lot and we treat each other with respect and care. Plus, we remain open and honest. In my opinion, these are rare qualities, and very important ones for a successful long-term relationship.

I'm not really sure what 2014 will bring vanilla- and kink-wise, but I would like to post more regularly again. And I would like to write about several topics which have to do with long-term relationships and kink. It is also likely that Ludwig and I will start to explore our kink more intensely again. We are getting back in the mood and have already talked about some ideas for the upcoming year.

Until then, thank you very much to all of you who accompanied us during the last year! I wish you all the best for 2014 and hope to see you all there, happily and healthily. Please keep your fingers crossed that the upcoming year will be the year of Ludwig and Kaelah 2.0, our newly evolved love-relationship after times of struggling and change!

A Winter's Tale

We are a little late for Christmas this year, but not too late for you to enjoy this gift of ours over the holidays, hopefully. Ludwig and I finally found the time to record the audio story we promised you on my blogiversary this year. Thank you to all those who contributed two-word phrases to the story, which you can read in the comment section of my blogiversary post. We did our best to incorporate them all into a little kinky winter's tale.

With that, we wish you all Happy Holidays!

May you all be happy.

May you all be peaceful.

May you all be free from troubles of mind and body.

May you be safe and protected.

And may you all have a kind person to give you a warm bottom

or the kindness to give a warm bottom to another person you love.

Kaelah's Corner (Nov 2013): Cold Weather - Warm Bottoms

I'm late again for my Kaelah's Corner post, girls and guys. But I have a nice story to tell. Ludwig and I both started into December with a warm bottom. And what could be nicer during the cold time of the year here in Germany?

It all started with the two of us cuddling in bed. It was after midnight already and we were quite tired and didn't have any special plans other than to lie there and relax. Suddenly, though, Ludwig who had wrapped himself around me exclaimed: "Hey, don't press your bottom against me like that or otherwise it will have certain effects on me." - "Oh, really?" I took his comment rather as an invitation. "That would be very naughty, don't you think?" - "That doesn't make it any better, either", protested Ludwig. "Maybe you need a stern governess who shows you how to behave and how not to", I continued teasing. - "Great, now you've got it!" Ludwig sighed.

Part of Ludwig's reaction was fun, but I assume he was also slightly frustrated for real because he didn't expect any action to follow my words, since sex and kink are still usually rather on the back of my mind these days. But this time I took action. I sat up, dragged Ludwig across my lap, pulled down his underwear and began to spank his bottom with my hand. Ludwig's body stiffened and he gritted his teeth. "Damn, I am rather sensitive to the pain today," he stated. I guess many of the readers who find themselves on the receiving end of a spanking from time to time know such a situation. If one is tired and maybe also having a little cold, even a mere hand spanking can be rather painful.

I enjoyed Ludwig's visible but still suppressed reactions and his struggling and gave my best to do a proper job. It was all in good fun, though, and we laughed in between the sets of strokes. When the spanking grew even harder, Ludwig pushed himself up on his forearms, trying to cope with the pain, and – I think unintentionally – he also moved a bit to the side, away from my lap.

I grabbed his waist and pulled him back again. "You're going to stay here, my dear!" With that, I also took his arm and pinned it behind his back so that he couldn't push himself up any more. With my free hand I continued smacking Ludwig's bottom. "Hey, why can't I move my arms freely?" Ludwig protested and pulled his hand back to the front. "Because pinning someone's hand behind their back while spanking them is something I always wanted to do," I confessed without stopping to spank.

I finally finished Ludwig with a few more sets of really hard smacks, including several ones in a row on the same cheek. When I had come to the conclusion that it was enough, I pulled Ludwig's pants up again and kissed him. Ludwig was done. We switched to cuddling again with me playfully squeezing Ludwig's bottom from time to time. The banter continued.

I don't remember exactly what I said to Ludwig that made him take over. Maybe something like: "Oh yes, I am a naughty girl." What I remember clearly is that I found myself over Ludwig's lap being spanked over the pants of my PJs. After a while, Ludwig pulled the pants and panties down and continued to spank me on the bare. Again there was some banter and I really got into the mood.

Ludwig sensed the rare opportunity and combined the spanking which I already enjoyed very much with pleasure of a different kind. And indeed I let myself fall and enjoyed the moment, fantasies mixing up with the real action. Afterwards I sank into the cushions, totally relaxed. I thanked Ludwig and he replied: "My pleasure." We cuddled some more and finally went to sleep. That night I slept as well as I rarely do these days.

What a wonderful way to start the last month of the year, isn't it? Even more so because this naughty fun was just one part of a wonderful weekend Ludwig and I shared together. We went for a long walk in the beautiful sun, visited a Christmas market for the first time this year, watched a film together, went to a local concert and enjoyed some great food.

How about you? How has December started out for you?

Kaelah 22 : Ludwig 19

It's time to announce the final tally of this year's Global Day of Delurk vote. First off, a thank you to all who took part. We had comments from 35 readers, among them nine first-timers or "delurkers". These numbers are quite close to the records set last year (44 commenters with 13 delurkers among them), which is amazing in light of the fact that the blog has been less active than usual during the last few months. I would have expected a lower turnout this year, so I am pleasantly surprised. Even though it means, of course, that Kaelah and I will have to take more strokes in the upcoming video!

We had said that for each vote for Kaelah, she would take a cane stroke, and for each vote for me, I would take a cane stroke. First-time commenters would contribute two strokes each. Hermione, DJ Black and Our Bottoms Burn commented, but did not make a vote. The remaining 32 people voted as follows, with the number of strokes they contributed in parantheses:

For Kaelah:

Bella Moone (2)

Michael (1)

MrBBSpanker (1)

Underling (1)

Learning Domestic Discipline (2)

Corinne Alexander (2)

Chross (1)

Erica Scott (1)

sixofthebest (1)

jimisim (1)

Gustofur (1)

Bob S (1)

Bonnie (1)

Hannilein (1)

TobyMaster (1)

Rittersmann (2)

MoodPedro (1)

fatfreddy (1)

For Ludwig:

aaron doyle (2)

Rogue (2)

Anastasia Vitsky (1)
Spankedhortic aka Prefectdt (1)

ronnie (1)

Fred Bloggs (1)

Maddy (2)

Lea (1)

Sigrid (2)

Olli (1)

Spearthrower (1)

josh doyle (2)

JamesM (1)

CornishPatsy (1)

As you can see, Kaelah got more voters (18 versus 14), but I got more delurkers voting for me (five versus four). The end result is a fairly even tally of 22 cane strokes for Kaelah and 19 for me. This is quite a bit closer than either of us anticipated. I wrote in my LOL Day post that "MF always seems to beat FM in these kinds of votes", and it did, but only by a slight margin. It goes to show that, unlike some others regions of the online spanking community, our blog has a very balanced and open-minded audience in terms of preferences, which is great.

It's interesting to see how people change their vote, or do not change their vote, over the years. Some stay consistent, like Olli or Spearthrower, who already voted for me last year and were sorry to see me lose (fortunately for them, we make a video with both an FM and an MF part this time). And of course, Chross with his self-admitted "lopsided preferences" went with Kaelah again. Others changed their vote, like Lea or JamesM who wrote: "Last year I voted for Kaelah, so this year it will be Ludwig." An example of "distributive justice", I suppose.

Another point I keep wondering about: are Aaron and Josh Doyle brothers? Cousins? And if so, are both of them spankophiles, or did one persuade his vanilla family member to vote for me as well to get me more strokes? And last but not least, there is the intriguing case of a blogger with a well-known FM fetish voting not for me, but for Kaelah. As with every vote, the analysis reveals its share of surprises!

(Comment from Kaelah: We would have been even closer, if a certain someone hadn't voted for me (at a time when Ludwig was still ahead), stating "I reckon Ludwig has too many votes already". You know who you are, young man! ;-) I already assumed by the time that it wouldn't stay that way and that I would finally have to take more strokes than Ludwig. And (as usual ;-) ) I turned out to be right. The final tally is closer than I expected it to be, though, so I can live with that.) 

Actually, the final numbers have somewhat upset Kaelah's beloved, well-ordered cosmos of numbers, because 22 and 19 are rather unusual as canings go. But as I said to her the other day, I think it is one of the interesting aspects of such a vote that one tends to get an unusual tally rather than the standard multiples of six or ten we spankos always seem to go for.

We will shoot the video as soon as we can. Given that Kaelah and I are pretty stressed out and busy with non-kinky things these days, we can not promise that it will be in December, although we will certainly try. If not, you will get to see it in the spring.

Fuelling People's Fantasies

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Global Day of Delurk 2013

Today is this year's Love Our Lurkers Day. Once again, it is time for the heretofore silent readers to step out of the shadows if they like, and for all of you (lurker or long-time commenter) to vote on a video clip Kaelah and I are going to make.

Love Our Lurkers Day (or the Global Day of Delurk, as I like to call it here) is an invention of Bonnie of My Bottom Smarts. It has become a firm fixture on the calendar of the spanking community and this year is the eighth time we celebrate it. The idea is simple: on Love Our Lurkers Day, we spanking bloggers encourage our "lurkers", i.e. readers who have been following our blog but not commented before, to make their first comment, say hello and introduce themselves. So, please, feel free to come out if you like. This is your day. I know it can be a bit intimidating, especially to people who are new to BDSM and have not really talked to anyone in the Scene yet. But rest assured, we don't bite. We were all like you at some point in the past, shy, wide-eyed and curious, wondering if we should really take the plunge.

I first took part in Love Our Lurkers Day back in 2008. As the long-time readers have heard a hundred times before, that was when Kaelah left her first comment on my blog (or any blog, for that matter) as "K'Ehleyr", which lead to us exchanging emails, which lead to her putting her spanking fantasies into practice for the first time with me as a top, which lead to the two of us becoming a couple. It's quite the fairy tale story, really. In case you do not know it yet, you can read all about it in Where No Man Has Spanked Before.

But enough history. On to the present! As we have done previously, Kaelah and I are going to make a video clip based on Love Our Lurkers Day. Last year, you could decide whether Kaelah or I should get spanked, and predictably, Kaelah "won" by a solid margin - MF always seems to beat FM in these kinds of votes. So this year, we are doing it a bit differently. You can once again vote on whether she or I should get spanked, but instead of there being only one winner (or loser, depending on how you look at it), we will both take strokes this time. We are going to make a video that contains both an MF and an FM part, and depending on how many votes each of us gets, you decide how big or small these parts will be.

So here is how it goes: for each commenter who votes for Kaelah, Kaelah will take one cane stroke in the upcoming video. For each one who votes for me, I will take one cane stroke. For each delurker (first time commenter) who votes, she or I will take two cane strokes. As a delurker, you also get the option to split the strokes if you like - you can decide that both of "your" strokes should be given to Kaelah, that both should be given to me, or to split them.

The vote will be open for one week, that is until Tuesday, November 19th, 11:59:59 pm German time. Anonymous comments will not count, and neither will comments who just say hello and do not make a vote. So, if you like to make an impact in the video (pun intended), make sure to leave a name and to mention whether Kaelah or I should get "your" cane stroke (or strokes, in case you are a first time commenter here).

Happy Global Day of Delurk, everyone!

Kaelah's Corner (Oct 2013): Five of the Best?

Yeah, I know I am a bit late for my monthly corner post, girls and guys. I have been very busy at work. It seems like kink is around every corner at the moment at my work place, though. And not only because I've noticed a round open space outdoors which in my opinion would be very suitable for public floggings of lazy employees. No, I am talking about colleagues using kinky phrases. I've heard the word punishment. People talk about swinging the whip in order to make others work faster. There are references to self-flagellation. And two times a caning was mentioned as well!

The funny thing is that it was exactly the same number of strokes both times, though the people involved were completely different. In the first case, someone was asked what would happen if people were to come late to a time-critical meeting. The instant reply: "That means five cane strokes." I couldn't help but imagine how much more exciting some meetings might be if that were true. A while later, a line manager talked to his employees about certain incidents which they were supposed to avoid in the future. To clarify that the matter wasn't an ultimately critical one, though, he closed his speech with the words: "Don't get me wrong, I didn't say that you'll get five cane strokes if it ever happens again."

I have to admit that I enjoy it when kinky references come up at work. Sometime I even chime in. For instance, a colleague mocked me and then joked that I would surely soon start to beat him if he didn't act more carefully. I replied that unfortunately, I didn't have anything suitable to throw at him. He handed me a heavy magnet which was lying around and told me that this would surely hurt a lot. I couldn't refrain from telling him that he was displaying some very masochistic tendencies. Which he of course denied with a laugh.

Well, I am quite sure that most of my colleagues really aren't kinky. I mean, would a real kinkster talk about FIVE cane strokes? I discussed with Ludwig why the number five had been chosen both times. His idea of the most likely explanation was that vanillas are used to the decimal system. Ten strokes might seem too much, two or three too little, and so, five is obviously a likely choice. I think Ludwig's suggestion is right. Still, five doesn't fit into my kinky cosmos of numbers. But nonetheless it's fun to hear vanillas use kinky phrases at work.

How about you? Kink and work, is that a combination which can be fun for you or does the thought of colleagues making kinky jokes cause you to break out in a cold sweat? And do you think that one can distinguish kinksters from vanillas by the number of strokes they choose when making kinky jokes? You are welcome to share your thoughts and experiences in the comment section!

Tiptoes

Wow, twenty-eight days or exactly four weeks. This has been the longest posting hiatus in the history of Rohrstock-Palast. The previous post was thirteen days in the making, between September 17th and 30th, and in the years before that, I don't think we ever had a break of more than eleven days - I am too hard-pressed for time to look it up, but I believe it was eleven, or thereabouts. Have you forgotten all about us yet? You haven't? Good.

It was nice to take an extended hiatus. I feel somewhat refreshed now. Kaelah and I are still busy with various things, and kink is still not the foremost thing on our minds these days. We can't promise that we will return to our once meticulous one post every four days schedule anytime soon. But we should definitely be able to post more than we did this month. Five posts per month would be nice, and should be realistic.

One idea I have had to try and make a virtue out of necessity is encouraging more reader contribution. Having a series of discussions about topics around spanking and BDSM is something I have been wanting to do for some time, anyway. In the coming weeks, I plan to try that out. I will post a question or a topic of discussion and ask you to write down your opinion about it. I will also give you my personal standpoint, obviously, but only afterwards so as to not prejudice you during the discussion.

In the meantime, though, and since I did not want this to be just a boring, self-evident "We're back!" post, I leave you with a picture I found on another blog recently. It is courtesy of Girls Boarding School and shows the lovely Amelia-Jane Rutherford in her one and only shoot with that classic site (probably my favourite GBS scene among their hundreds and hundreds of scenes).

I am not usually into "relentless genitalia" pictures, to borrow an expression I once heard from a spanking model friend. But I am looking past that here, or rather, I am looking elsewhere. What I like about the picture is the super-elegant pose on tiptoes. It is a pose we have seen a thousand times before in similar scenes, but there are few women in the world who can make it look as spectacularly graceful as Amelia-Jane. It helps to be tall and lanky, I guess - I once met Amelia-Jane a couple of years ago, playing her boyfriend in a shoot with German petgirl site SM-Circus, and even though I am a six footer, she still towers above me.

Regard this as a companion piece to my The Perfect Arch post from 2009, have a nice day, and write a mini-essay about your favourite corporal punishment poses in the comments section if you feel like it.

(Picture courtesy of Girls Boarding School)

Kaelah's Corner (Sep 2013): Outer Space

This nearly turned out to be the first month without a Kaelah's Corner post since I started writing here on Ludwig's Rohrstock-Palast more than four years ago. Why? Because quite honestly I haven't got any kinky thoughts to write about. At the moment, there is no space in my life for it. My sexual drive is very low, anyway, and so thinking about an interesting kinky topic to write about feels more like additional pressure than like a fun thing to do. Right now I don't feel like a part of the spanking universe but rather like an observer far away in the outer space.

But then I  had the idea that I could use the occasion to pose a question to you, our readers, instead of simply skipping my monthly post. So, here it comes: Have you ever been in a situation in which you didn't feel much interest in kink? Or even a time in which being confronted with kink made you feel rather uncomfortable or sad instead of excited and happy? I would love to hear about your experiences!

Ludwig and I are sharing some vanilla time together right now. I think being with a partner who doesn't show much interest in anything sexual isn't easy. But Ludwig and I have found other ways of being close for the time being. And hopefully our situation will change again one day.

In the meantime I guess it is not helpful if I put myself under pressure. But that's not so easy. I'm not very good at waiting and simply seeing how things turn out. I prefer being in control, especially when what I am doing or how I am feeling doesn't affect only me but others as well.

We will at least keep the blog alive, though. Ludwig has a bunch of topics he wants to write about. Additionally there are several adventures from the past about which we haven't written, yet. And the story for my blogiversary is complete, too. We just have to find an opportunity to record the audio version for you. So, while my posting routine will most probably remain as irregular as it has been in the past weeks, there will be more posts to come.

Until then I wish all of you a great start of the autumn season (or spring season for those living in the Southern hemisphere) from my observing station here in outer space!

Munchie Gets Caned

Kaelah and I are still very busy with non-kinky things and hard-pressed for time (even though Kaelah has already been working on the audio story we announced in her blogiversary post, using the phrases you submitted). So I'm just doing a quick "filler" post today, but I think it is pretty interesting filler. I was looking for a spanking clip from a mainstream movie on YouTube, and as it so often happens on that site, I found something else entirely. The clip is titled "Munchie Gets Caned":

This is probably the most unapologetically raunchy caning clip I have ever seen on mainstream TV (if you can call Rad Girls mainstream, more about that in the next paragraph). Munchie takes a good half dozen cane strokes on essentially her bare bottom, wearing only the skimpiest of underwear. Then she takes a couple more on her belly, feet, arms, et cetera, all amidst the frat girl howling and giggling of her friends. Ladies and gentlemen, this is all very, very obviously catering to a certain erotic fetish (as is the whole custom of "birthday spankings" in general), but of course, on American television, nobody talks about it being anything erotic or sexual. This being American television, they also bleep out all the swear words, which I think is rather amusing in a "facepalm" sort of way.

Anyway, since I don't watch any TV at all, whatsoever, I have to look up where this came from. Apparently, Rad Girls is basically a female version of MTV's Jackass, with three performers going by the names of "Munchie", " Ramona Ca$h" and "Darling Clementine" doing crude, self-injuring stunts and pranks. It figures that they obviously did not practice their caning skills very much before filming the clip - they are frequently missing her bottom and hitting the back of her legs, which is a big no-no here among us spankos. Rad Girls is broadcast by MavTV, a television channel owned by the Lucas Oil lubricants company (I swear I am not making this up!) and focusing on, in their own words, an "action-oriented family audience".

Sexy young women taking cane strokes on their bare bottoms as family entertainment? I must say, I haven't heard that one before. 

Truth be told, I am not a fan of formats like Jackass. I find it all rather boorish and proletarian, not refined enough for the tastes of a European elitist snob like me. But I thought that this particular clip was rather entertaining on a voyeuristic level - not erotic, but entertaining -, and maybe you will too.

Therapy Revisited

The newest edition of the Wellred Weekly magazine contains an article written by me under the title Therapy?. As some of our long-time readers among you might remember, that was the title of a post on this blog as well back in May 2011.

The basic question of the post was whether our kinky play and our kinky relationships can be used as a kind of "self-therapy". The word "self-therapy" is of course in quotation marks because I don't want to imply that spanking can substitute any real therapy in case of serious issues. What I mean is simply whether the way we live our kink can provide us with things we are missing otherwise and help us to grow.

In my post I also talked about possible risks and downsides of using kink in such a therapeutic way. That led to a very lively discussion in the comment section and inspired the follow-up posts Speculative Questions, Mirror Mirror and My Kinky Therapy. I learned that the question how kink can be used and what possible positive and negative aspects of certain lifestyle choices are is a very emotional field. In my opinion, that doesn't mean that one shouldn't talk about these things. Quite the contrary. But it is very important to make sure to express one's arguments well and not to offend others simply by using misleading wordings.

I think the very interesting discussions which we had here on this blog helped me to make my point much clearer in my Wellred Weekly article. It is basically a rewritten version of all the posts mentioned above, shortened in some aspects but also supplemented with a few new thoughts. So, in case you haven't read the posts here, maybe you are interested in reading the summarized version in the Wellred Weekly magazine. And maybe you will also find some other articles there which catch your interest?!

Kaelah's Corner (Aug 2013): Creative Fourth

Yes folks, it's true, it's my fourth blogiversary! In August 2009, I published my very first post titled A Very Warm Welcome. That was the beginning of a very exciting journey.

Right now I have to admit that my kink plays almost no role at all in my life, though. It's a difficult time, but also an important one. I'm caught between taking control and letting go. I'm going through grief and fear, yet learning more about how to find peace in life. At times I am surrounded by darkness, but I believe that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. In short, this is a time of change and growth.

Which means that my relationship with Ludwig is changing, too. Because as partners change over time, their relationship has to evolve with them, otherwise they have no future together. The great thing about it: New wonderful things come up as well. Buddhist philosophy and meditation practice might not sound as exciting as, for instance, making kinky video clips. But they are great things to explore together as a couple.

In the spirit of change, I have decided to try something new on my blogiversary. Since suffering and loving kindness are so closely bound together (and since this is of course an erotic spanking blog), I have had the idea that Ludwig and I could write and tape a kinky audio story for you.

And we would like YOU to participate in the creative process!

So, if you want, you can give us a two-word phrase in the comment section, which we will then include in our story. Of course, the phrase should make at least some sense so that the story won't become completely ridiculous. I'm looking forward to reading your creative ideas!

All suggestions which are published up to and including Sunday, September 8th (German time) will be used in the story. Anonymous comments don't count, though. If you don't have a blogger profile you can use the Name/URL option and give yourself a random nickname – there is no URL necessary!

Thank you very much to all of you who have accompanied me (us) during the last four years. Quite honestly, I am not really sure what the future will bring and whether I will ever be back as the avid blogger I once was. Right now, my blogiversary has inspired me to try this creative experiment, though. I'm curious to see how it works out. And then we will find out what comes next.

Lupus Pictures Closing Down

In case you have not heard about it yet: Rigid East / Lupus Pictures, the legendary producer of spanking and corporal punishment films, will be closing down next week.

The Czech studio originally started out sixteen years ago under the name Rigid East. In 2000, they became Lupus Pictures and began making ever more polished-looking videos, with a professional crew, professional camera equipment, lavish props and costumes and intricate storylines. It is no exaggeration to say that Lupus changed the genre forever. They were the first to produce anything approaching "real movies", and they made everyone else look like rank amateurs at the time. Even today, among new, ambitious rivals, the Czechs' body of work arguably remains unsurpassed. With Lupus Pictures, "spanking videos" became "spanking films".

As those of you who have read Rohrstock-Palast for a while know, I have a pretty personal history with Lupus as well. Without them, I would not have met and become friends with Niki Flynn, the first model from the West to work with these "werewolves from the East". Without Niki, I would not have started this blog or made any videos of my own. Without the blog and videos, I would never have met my mate Kaelah. In 2009, not very long after Kaelah and I became a couple, I guest starred in a Lupus Pictures film myself, which was a kinky dream come true. I wrote a three-part behind-the-scenes report about the experience: The Company of Wolves, A Dragoon's Life and Topping for Lupus.

So now, Rigid East / Lupus are calling it quits, citing a desire to try out new directions: "We already made the best spanking movies the spankos ever saw. So now it's time to explore new worlds and biggest challenges behind us [sic]. Our goal is to explore and embrace new kinks and go beyond simple spanking. We're striving for the best BDSM movies you ever saw." No false modesty in that, is there?

While I am sad that such a historic producer of spanking films and one with whom I have had such a personal relationship will be closing down, I certainly understand the reasoning. I got a sense myself that Lupus were finding it difficult to surpass what they had already done in terms of "pure" spanking films, and that they were frankly getting a bit bored with the whole thing. Their recent "Lupus Dreams" productions with more BDSM-heavy and explicit content, including real sex, never interested me that much, but again, I understand the desire to experiment and do something new. We will see how Quirky Way, the Czechs' post-Lupus venture, will develop and what they have in mind. I wish them well and will be keeping an eye on them.

In the meantime, you have a few last days left to purchase some films from the legendary Rigid East / Lupus Pictures studio if you like, at a 70% discount (probably, as they write, their final sales auction). Maybe from the Wild Party trilogy, or the Stalin trilogy, or the Headmaster's Study series, or Niki's spanking film debut The Exchange Student, or the wonderful little gem The Last Case of Dr. Freud... Or even A Garden Party with guest stars Adele Haze and yours truly. Damn, they made so much good stuff over the years.

Farewell, werewolves from the East, and thank you. It has been quite an adventure.

Kinky China (Part 2): The Great Wall

Last month, I shared with you the first set of kinky pictures which Ludwig and I shot on our trip to China in the Forbidden City. In this edition you get to see the second set of pictures which we took on the Chinese Wall! We went to a section which was almost completely empty, it was only our guide and us.

With the guide being around, we could of course not shoot any pictures that were too explicit. But who would pass up such a great and unique opportunity to take photos in such a magnificent historical environment?

And then, finally, the big chance was there. Our guide was waiting outside the tower while we were still inside. So, in the hope that the guide would not return to look for us, I quickly dropped my pants and bent over the window ledge for this not really perfect but very special picture.

I hope you like this special view of the Great Wall! Wouldn't it be a fascinating idea to shoot kinky pictures at all the famous sights of the world? Maybe in the Colosseum, in front of a pyramid or on the top of the Empire State Building... What about you, have you ever had kinky fun or taken a kinky picture at a famous sight?

BDSMers Mentally Healthier Than "Vanillas"?

Do people who are into BDSM have a tendency towards violence? Or are they themselves perhaps the victims of past abuses, which they are now re-enacting as part of their sex lives? If your experience of yourself and of our Scene is anything like mine, your answer to both questions will be a resounding no. Indeed, no scientific study has ever found evidence that kinky people are more likely to suffer from psychological problems or to commit violent or criminal acts than the general population. But prejudices to this effect still persist, and are repeated ad nauseam by the tabloids, the prudes and scare-mongers.

So I felt a considerable amount of "Told you so!" mirth when I heard about a recent study, titled Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners, which suggests that practitioners of BDSM might actually be psychologically healthier than the norm. The study was conducted by researchers from Tilburg University in the Netherlands and has an interesting genesis. Andreas Wismeijer, the lead researcher, does not usually study sadism or masochism, but the psychology of secrets. A chance encounter with the founder of the largest BDSM forum in the Netherlands convinced him that this scene might make an intriguing study group. So, Wismeijer asked people from the forum to fill out a series of online psychological questionnaires, and compared their answers to those from a control group of people who are not into BDSM. The participants did not know what the studies were about, exactly, only that they were "on human behaviour". In the end, Wismeijer and his fellow researchers had filled-out questionnaires from 902 BDSM practitioners and 434 people from the non-kinky control group.

It turns out that the BDSM practitioners scored higher on a series of measurements of psychological well-being. As summed up in this article on LiveScience:

The new results reveal that on a basic level, BDSM practitioners don't appear to be more troubled than the general population. They were more extroverted, more open to new experiences and more conscientious than vanilla participants; they were also less neurotic, a personality trait marked by anxiety. BDSM aficionados also scored lower than the general public on rejection sensitivity, a measure of how paranoid people are about others disliking them.

People in the BDSM scene reported higher levels of well-being in the past two weeks than people outside it, and they reported more secure feelings of attachment in their relationships, the researchers found.

I also found the following figures interesting:

Of the BDSM practitioners, 33 percent of the men reported being submissive, 48 percent dominant and 18 percent "switch," or willing to switch between submissive and dominant roles in bed. About 75 percent of the female BDSM respondents were submissive, 8 percent dominant and 16 percent switch.

These roles showed some links to psychological health, such that dominants tended to score highest in all quarters, submissives lowest and switches in the middle. However, submissives never scored lower than vanilla participants on mental health, and frequently scored higher, Wismeijer told LiveScience.

So, doms are supposedly healthier than switches, and both are supposedly healthier than subs? Well, I don't know! Kaelah and I both feel very happy and healthy as switches. In any case, it seems that there is a pretty clear division of preference between the genders even among kinksters from the progressive, liberal Netherlands: half the men are tops, and fully three quarters of the women are bottoms. Purely dominant women are the smallest of the groups, even rarer than female switches. Are the ratios similar in other kinky communities in Germany, Britain and the US? From my personal experience, I would guess that, yes, they are probably similar. Will they change as we progress towards a more and more gender-egalitarian society? Maybe so. It's an intriguing question for sure.

One caveat about the results, and the overall conclusions from the lead researcher:

The study is somewhat limited by a self-selecting response pool and by the fact that BDSM practitioners could have been answering in ways to make themselves look better and avoid stigma, Wismeijer said — though the fact that the participants didn't know the reasons for the study ameliorates that concern somewhat. The findings are reason for mental health professionals to take an accepting approach to BDSM practitioners, Wismeijer said.

"We did not have any findings suggesting that people who practice BDSM have a damaged psychological profile or have some sort of psychopathology or personality disorder," he said.

Wismeijer isn't exactly sure why BDSM practitioners might be psychologically healthier than the general public. They tend to be more aware of their sexual needs and desires than vanilla people, he said, which could translate to less frustration in bed and in relationships. Coming to terms with their unusual sexual predilections and choosing to live the BDSM lifestyle may also take hard psychological work that translates to positive mental health, he said.

I think Wismeijer is probably spot-on about that last point. It may be a nice thought that people with an inclination for BDSM are happier than the general population, period, but I am skeptical about this. I assume that kinky people who are "in the closet", and don't have anyone to talk to about their fantasies or any opportunity to live them out, or who are feeling guilt or shame because of the stigma and the negative prejudices associated with BDSM, are usually very unhappy. On the other hand, people who have embraced their kink as something that is healthy, positive and exciting, and who are "out" in the Scene and talking and playing with others like them, will undoubtedly take great satisfaction and happiness from that. Hence, I believe, the results of the study.

So, at the end of the day, perhaps it is not so much about BDSM versus "vanilla", but about whether or not people are able to be themselves and live out their sexual fantasies with a loved one or like-minded friends.

Innovative Kinky Equipment Available

I recently came across this wonderful IKEA spoof. KLOPPE (I guess a fitting English name would be something like SMÅCK) is advertised as an "opinion enhancer". The headline asks: "Are you still discussing or already convincing?" KLOPPE is made of solid beech, untreated. It is 70 cm long and has a diameter of 4 cm. In case you have no idea how to use it, the instruction manual below shows you how.

Now that's a helpful piece of furniture, is it not? Plus, there's no difficult installation process necessary and absolutely no danger of any missing screws in the package.

KLOPPE is not the only offer I found which might appeal to kinksters, though. Obviously, IKEA also offers more complex pieces of furniture for kinky play. I have to admit that the colour is not exactly my cup of tea, but it's a great idea nonetheless.

(Image found at Planet Calypso.)

If someone is asking for me, I'm off shopping. My new discoveries have convinced me that IKEA is simply an acronym. I'm sure it stands for "Innovative Kinky Equipment Available".

Kaelah's Corner (Jul 2013): Theatre of Pain

  (The poster for H.M.S Defiant. 

One of the films that inspired my kinky fantasies.)

In his recent post A Question of Perspective Ludwig asked the intriguing question which perspective our readers take when watching a spanking video – the one of the spankee, the one of the spanker or the perspective of an observer. For me, the answer is rather simple. I am usually an observer when watching spanking clips, and depending on the scene and the people involved I sometimes feel closer to the top's or the bottom's perspective. At times I also think about how cool it would be to meet or to make a clip with the participants or in how far I suppose our chemistry would fit in a scene. But that usually happens after I have watched a clip and I don't see myself in the role of the top or the bottom at the time of watching.

A related question I have been thinking about is which perspective I take in my kinky fantasies in general and during kinky scenes I am involved in. And secondly, how do I see my play partner(s)? The thing is, in many of my kinky fantasies I am not involved as a character. Take for example my naval fantasies. In those fantasies I am a kind of omniscient narrator who switches from mindset to mindset and sees the scene from the different views. The feelings of the bottoms are slightly more interesting for me, but I also need to know the feelings and thoughts of the tops in order to make the scenario complete.

I also have formal kinky fantasies which explicitly involve me as a person, though, or maybe rather an ideal fantasy version of myself. The thing that has given me a bad conscience about those fantasies is that Ludwig usually only appears in them as a background character. He is my partner (and in those fantasies in which I already see myself as a mum he is also the dad of our kids), but the kinky action usually doesn't happen between me and him. In my fantasies I often play with a group of fantasy friends, younger guys who like to be topped by me, a like-minded female friend with whom I top the guys together and who tops me from time to time and maybe also male friends whom I allow topping me.

It's not very different when it comes to more explicit erotic fantasies. Classical intercourse never played an important role in my erotic dreams. When I have sexual fantasies, though, they are more of the rough type and rather semi-consensual. Those fantasies often involve a group of people as well (yes, I am an exhibitionist, never denied that) and I also don't see Ludwig (at least not the real Ludwig) as a person there.

And when I play with others? Well, it's quite simple when it comes to fun play or video scenes. In those cases I usually see the others involved for who they are and not as some kind of fantasy characters. In fun scenes with friends we usually don't use any fantasy scenarios anyway, so it's just us as people. When it comes to video clips, a part of my brain might get into character, but a part of me always remains aware that it is Ludwig, Pandora, Leia-Ann or whoever I am interacting with. That's quite easy for me with friends because we don't have a sexual relationship with each other, so it's easy for me to get into a fun or a formal setting.

It's more difficult with Ludwig and formal settings, though, especially when it's just the two of us, because our relationship isn't formal and it's difficult for me to imagine him as my commanding officer or whomever. I think that's because I am not a very good role-player. It becomes easier when others are involved as well or when we are making clips. Because then the setting is more formal because of the circumstances and that makes it much easier for me.

But how about when Ludwig and I are having sex? Well, that's the part that sometimes bothers me the most. Because then (at least when I am not in a toppy mood) I usually drift away into the rough sexual scenarios I am also sometimes fantasizing of. And then I don't see Ludwig as Ludwig any more. He becomes a fantasy character and I am mixing up the things that are really happening between the two of us with fantasy elements.

It is a bit different when I am topping. Then I am usually more myself and I usually see Ludwig more as himself and not as a fantasy character. Maybe that's because it takes less fantasy for me to get into the right mood for topping and to let myself fall? Maybe it's because my fantasies as a top fit more easily into an equal partnership than some of my fantasies as a bottom?

I guess especially the last part might explain why my kinky fantasies usually don't involve Ludwig and me as partners. The formal fantasies are more easily to imagine with people (often fantasy characters, as I already mentioned) with whom I don't have a sexual relationship in real life. They can be my friends, guides or protégés and our relationships can be rather light-hearted and fun without all the deep-going life questions and issues that come with a love relationship. And the rough, semi-consensual erotic fantasies are only sexy in role-play scenarios with fantasy characters and not in real life with my real, loving mate.

Still it gives me a bad conscience sometimes. Shouldn't I rather be fantasizing about spankings and sex with my partner than about scenes with fantasy characters? Is it okay to drift away into a fantasy world when having sex? Mind you, I don't think there is something morally wrong with this. Fantasies are only fantasies anyway and the mind is free. But still the topic is bothering me from time to time. Especially at times like this when I am not in a good place which also affects my relationship with Ludwig.

I wonder how this is for others? Maybe it is easier for kinksters with domestic fantasies or consensual erotic spanking fantasies to fantasize about scenes between them and their partners, simply because their fantasies fit more into their real-life relationship? Maybe it's because my kinky fantasies only work as role-play scenarios or as formal fun scenarios? What about you? Do your fantasies involve role-play characters or real friends and your real partner? I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

On the Term "Vanilla"

I hardly ever take part in forum debates about BDSM anymore (see my post Sense and Futility of Online Debates for some insight into why), but I still read through them every once in a while. I saw a point in a debate the other day which I would like to bring up here. The issue of contention was whether or not the term "vanilla" for people who are not into BDSM is derogatory.

One user wrote: "I don't like the term 'vanilla' to describe sex, period. It's part of the pattern that I see with some practitioners of alternative lifestyles who want to believe that their choices are not only acceptable, but superior." Another replied: "On the one hand I have the same problems you have with 'vanilla' as a term, but on the other hand I realize the problem is connotation. 'Vanilla' has come to mean 'bland' in spite of the fact that it's a lovely, complex flavor that's primarily derived from the seed pods of a beautiful orchid through an elaborate process. Yes, it's wordy, and it would take quite a bit of work to alter the 'bland' connotation in peoples' minds, but I think those who are genuinely 'vanilla' should wear the term with pride." A third user added: "Yeah, but anytime the phrase 'vanilla sex' is thrown around, it's in opposition to 'exciting kinky sex'. There's really no way to read it non-perjoratively. All subcultures need to continuously remarginalize themselves in a opposition to normativity in order to maintain status as 'awesome alternative lifestyle'." People in the discussion also pointed out that BDSM practitioners usually like "vanilla" sex as well, and that the boundaries between "vanilla" and "kinky" are fluid instead of the two being a rigid dichotomy.

Personally, I do not feel that the term "vanilla" is inherently derogatory. I frequently use it on this blog as shorthand for people who are not into BDSM, and I do not mean anything bad by it. That said, I am aware that there are people in the BDSM community who use the term disparagingly. Over the years, I have had the misfortune of meeting some of these snotty, big-headed "We are sooo special!" kinksters. You have probably met them yourself. I never liked them. I feel that they are compensating for insecurities and inferiority complexes with their ostentatious looking down on "normal" people, and with some of them, I wonder whether they are really into BDSM or just jumping on the bandwagon of a "cool", controversial subculture. However, those snotty kinksters are a minority, and I don't think that we should shy away from the term "vanilla" simply because a few people use it in a derogatory manner.

A more valid objection to the term "vanilla" is that it really isn't very clear. What is "vanilla sex", exactly? Is it only sex in the missionary position with the lights out? Or does it include, say, oral sex, which is a bit more risqué, but enjoyed by a large number of people and thus statistically "normal"? What about anal sex, is that vanilla? For quite a few men and women, it most assuredly isn't. So how many people do there have to be who are into a certain sexual practice in order for it to be eligible as "vanilla"? Half the population, maybe? If that is so, bondage might be a part of "vanilla" sex - if certain studies are to be believed, fifty percent or more of the respondents have tried it out at least once. Heck, bondage is probably more "vanilla" than anal sex.

There really isn't a clear definition of "vanilla sex", neither is there a clear boundary between it and practices that are usually deemed "kinky". And there is the fact that "kinky" people usually enjoy "vanilla sex" as well - Kaelah and I certainly do. Despite all this, I still hold the opinion that "vanilla" is a useful term. When you come to think of it, most of the words we use are not very clearly defined. That is just the way human language works. But we do know what the words mean from their context. It's like that with "vanilla" as well. I simply use it as a short-hand for people who do not engage in BDSM practices regularly, and I think it works just fine as such. So, in the unlikely case that there are any "vanilla" people reading this blog (why, I wonder?): see, as I said, I don't mean anything bad with the term. It may be the most popular ice cream, but it is nonetheless a pretty complex flavour, so I don't see anything boring about it at all. Glad we could clear that up.

What about you, my fellow kinksters? What are your views on the term "vanilla"? Do you find it derogatory, or do you see nothing wrong with it?

Red Meat

Red Meat by Max Cannon is one of my favourite comic strips (not a huge accomplishment in itself because I only know a handful of comic strips, but this one is definitely great). It features characters with abnormal personalities telling a weird or disturbing anecdote. My favourite among them is Bug-Eyed Earl, a crazed guy dressed in black and described by Cannon as an "overly-enthusiastic pundit of borderline reality":

Another character is Ted Johnson, a middle-aged man, "devoted husband, father and ardent latex enthusiast". Cannon has said that Ted is based on his own father (must be an interesting family):

However, the comic strip that inspired me to make this post is the following one, which should directly appeal to us as spanking / corporal punishment fetishists. It took me a moment to realise that it is not an original creation of Max Cannon, but fan fiction by an author calling himself The Light In Chains. Here is Earl again:

Yep, that one gave me a chuckle. There are quite a few people making their own comic strips like that with the Red Meat Construction Set, which the original author is apparently happy with. So, if you are feeling creative, why not give it a try (I won't, because comic strips probably aren't my forte and I have too much respect for the discipline to throw together something mediocre).

A Question of Perspective

 (Still from the movie The Noise by Lupus Pictures)

I would like to ask the following question of you today: which perspective, or perspectives, do you assume when you fantasize about spanking or watch a spanking video?

Do you assume the perspective of the bottom? The top? Do you see the scene from a third-person point of view, whether it is the point of view of another person (in addition to the top and bottom) who is actually present in the scene or an omniscient "god-like" observer? Do you tend to always assume one of these perspectives, or do you usually assume more than one perspective in a scene, in succession or even at the same time? Last but not least (this is a question inspired by Fenris' comment to my previous post), do you think that the perspective you usually assume when fantasizing about spanking or watching a video influences which kinds of stories and scenarios you find hot and which ones turn you off?

I am a switch, and so it is perhaps not surprising that I tend to watch scenes of spanking from different perspectives. I believe that I have always done so. Memory can be deceptive, especially when it is from our very early years, but I am quite sure that I already assumed different perspectives in my earliest spanking fantasies. This was when I was about eight or nine years old, long before I had any idea that there was such a phenomenon as sadomasochism or BDSM and before I even had any interest in sex. Back then, in my earliest fantasies about spanking and corporal punishment, I usually assumed the point of view of an observer or pictured myself as one of the spankees. It took my toppy fantasies a bit longer to develop, which they did during puberty.

Interestingly, even though I am primarily a top in my BDSM activities today and in my self-identification, I think that I assume the bottom perspective more often than the top perspective when watching a video or fantasizing. I was not really consciously aware of this, but now that I think of it, I realise that this is how it is. I find that, during a build-up to a thrashing as well as during the action itself, my empathy usually lies with and probes the experiences of the (often female) spankees. There are probably several different reasons for this, as with most anything concerning psychology and sex. One reason which, when trying to analyze myself, I assume is important is that the spankee, in most stories and scenarios, arguably has the more intense emotional experiences than the spanker, and thus the more interesting emotional experiences from an empathetic point of view. The anticipation, nervousness or fear before a spanking, the feelings of pain and how the spankee deals with it during the spanking, the shame and humiliation, or maybe the pride and defiance they experience... More often than not, this seems far more interesting than what the top is going through at the same time. The tops, in my fantasies, are often mere agents for delivering the CP. In those fantasies, on the other hand, where they experience more intense feelings, maybe because they have conflicting emotions about what is happening or because they take great justified satisfaction from administering a thrashing, I find the top's perspective more interesting and tend to assume it as well.

Quite often, though, I do not assume the point of view of any of the participants, but of a third person who is present in the scene or of an invisible observer. I believe that some kind of voyeurism is an important part of my CP kink as well. I have always been a spanking movie buff, which probably grew out of these fantasies and now generates such fantasies of its own in return. Indeed, even when I am assuming the psychological and emotional point of view of the spankee or the spanker, I often visualise the scene from the outside, as if seen by a camera or an observer.

When it comes to the perspective of the top, I find that I tend to assume it on a more general level rather than during the action itself. Which is to say, I tend to see a scene from the perspective of the bottom or an outside observer while the build-up and the action are taking place, but when looking at the whole story and the whole "universe" inhabited by the characters, including events that take place off-stage as it were, I find myself identifying just as much or even more with the top. This, I suppose, is in accord with how I view my practical experiences with spanking as well. Switching to the bottom side often leads to the more intense experiences (certainly the more painful!) and the ones that generate a more vivid memory of the action itself. However, when I look back on what I have done in my BDSM play, I derive the greater satisfaction from the things I have done as a top, whether it is movie shoots or the special scenes Kaelah and I have done in private.

These are the results of my introspection on which perspective I assume when fantasizing about CP or watching it on video. It is a sometimes tricky affair, because these insights are not always easy to pin down (I am not always quite sure which, if any, perspective I assume) and they are often in danger of being an idealized construction rather than what is actually happening in my mind at the time. But it is intriguing to try this kind of introspection and analysis, and I think it yields quite a bit of accurate insight as well.

How about you, then? Maybe my elaborating on my own tendencies has inspired you to share yours with us. If you would like to, leave a comment and let me and the other readers know which perspective, or perspectives, you usually take.