As usual, the one getting me into all this trouble is Niki Flynn, my favourite American brat. Actually, the story begins with some very good news: Niki and I will get together again this summer. We've been planning it for some time and are both looking forward to what will certainly be a memorable week. Knowing her, I don't expect the days to go by without the occasional cheeky outburst. If it gets out of hand, I'll just have to deal with it the old-fashioned way, won't I? Naturally, you will read all the juicy details here. So much for what we originally had in mind.
But now, Niki seems determined to unleash her own sadistic side on me. She has that, too, in case you didn't know, and it can be quite vicious when woken up. Well, it's running wild at the moment and her sights are set on me. Niki claims that her motives are just. Personally, I think it's a cheap ploy to reverse the natural order of things and get some revenge for the rightful punishments which she is liable to receive. But I will let you judge the details for yourself.
(Niki doing her best "Werewolf from the East" impression, courtesy of RGE Films)
Last month, as you probably remember, I played a little April Fools' Day prank on you. I claimed that I was leaving for a Kinky Siberian Holiday, visiting a "therapeutic caning institute" in Novosibirsk, among other things. Of course, the whole story was bogus. My reasons for writing it were rather simple, really:
1. As you may have noticed, I do a new post every four days. Regular intervals, like a Bavarian cuckoo clock. When I saw that the next one would be due on April 1st, I thought to myself: hm, why not use the opportunity?
2. I didn't have anything else ready at the time. I had a lot of half-finished pieces, as always, but I wanted to do some more work and save them for later. On the other hand, writing a short little April Fools' Day joke wouldn't take a lot of time.
So I went through with the idea, knowing full well that given the sadistic perverted nature of most of my readers, I could conceivably get in a lot of trouble. But life isn't fun if you never take a risk, right? Besides, I was convinced that no one would take the story seriously, anyway. Going to Siberia for kinky play? Give me a break!
Honestly, no one was more surprised than me when many of you seemed to take my fictional travel plans at face value. At first, I thought you were just being nice and playing along. But apparently, there is nothing far-fetched about the idea of Ludwig journeying to Novosibirsk for a spanking. I am considered just about insane enough to do that. It fills me with a strange sense of pride. And I must confess that I felt greatly amused, having successfully fooled my readers in this matter. It was certainly unexpected, and all the more fun because of it!
I read your increasingly puzzled comments with polite mirth before revealing, the next day, that it had all been a joke. Niki, who had already announced that I would be "in soooo much trouble" if this turned out to be fake, was the first to respond: "I've made a note, mein Herr. You're for it." I'm afraid that I was still in a rather carefree mood after my little jest, so I added insult to injury and wrote:
"Niki and her devices. Uh oh. And it looks like she's mad at me. Little Niki. All 50 kilograms of her. Boy, am I in trouble now... *snorts with suppressed laughter* A woman built like a tree! They called her 'Bonsai'!"
It was all good fun among pals, and Niki knows this, of course. But being her usual mischievous self, she now pretends to be sulking and insists that, humorous or not, I won't get away with my condescending comment that easily. While Niki doesn't mind being chastised and abused, the one thing she cannot stand is when someone belittles her skills. She has decided to view my innocuous teasing as such an occasion. Even among friends, she says, that kind of jibe deserves serious retribution.
Molehills and mountains? I think my mistake was that I spoke in public, so you other readers could egg her on: "Hey Niki, are you going to take that last comment lying down? I think you need to show big bad Ludwig what you're made of." Why, thank you! Now it's a matter of personal pride for her.
As for me, I deny any malevolent intentions. Honestly, folks, the April Fools' Day story was meant to be a harmless gag. I didn't even expect anyone to fall for it. Yeah, maybe my "bonsai" remark to Niki was a bit out of line, but we're pals, aren't we? Can't people take a joke anymore?
Admittedly, our actions can have unintended hurtful consequences. As spankos, we know that they deserve the same strict punishment as conscious wrongdoing. I accept that and I'm not the kind of man who shies away from deserved correction. True, I'm the top most of the time and I don't switch often, only under unusual circumstances. But I willingly submit to a thrashing when one is really in order. It's the responsible thing to do, and as a dominant type, I must apply the same strict standards to myself that I expect from others.
So the question is: does this particular incident warrant corporal punishment? Niki thinks so, of course, but I'm reluctant to agree. Not so much because of the painful prospect, but because I simply don't believe it is called for. I still suspect that she is exaggerating her indignation to take a free shot at me. We are at a deadlock and no one wants to back down. No surprise there - we share many traits, stubbornness being one of them.
Therefore, we leave it to you to decide what should happen, and we are counting on your unbiased judgment. You have heard the whole story and know enough about both of us to make an informed decision: mercy, a severe thrashing, or something in between.
In open discussion, there would never be a final outcome, so we have narrowed the choice down to four possible options. Three of them involve the cane. It is Niki's favourite instrument (giving and receiving!), so in case of a guilty verdict, it would obviously have to be used:
A - "Niki, it was all in good, harmless fun. No punishment is needed. Forgive and forget!"
B - "Let the punk get away with a warning. Six cane strokes, on the jeans."
C - "Joking or not, it was cheeky behaviour and deserves a proper response. Twelve cane strokes, on the bare."
D - "It was a serious insult to Niki. As well as that, Ludwig deliberately fooled all of us with his Kinky Siberian Holiday story. Give him 30 cane strokes on the bare, and make them hard!"
You can cast your vote, with the appropriate letter, in the comments section. The poll closes at the end of the week. Anonymous votes don't count, please leave a name.
When Niki and I meet in the summer, we will follow the course that you recommend. It will be fair this way, with our mutual friends choosing the outcome. We can both live with that, and we are grateful for your help.