Kaelah's Corner (Aug 2015): The Dirty Halfdozen

I've been away and didn't have access to the blog, hence a very belated edition of Kaelah's Corner. And a special one, too, because this edition marks my sixth blogiversary. I didn't expect to reach this mark, but Ludwig is so extremely busy right now that we don't manage to edit our final videos and posts and so this blog continues for a bit longer than planned.

I thought about what I could do to celebrate my blogiversary and decided to follow a good old tradition. We will make another (most probably final) blogiversary clip in cooperation with our readers and commenters. It won't be an extremely severe clip because we already have one final severe caning with me on the receiving end in the queue. But I would like to do something very dear to my heart this time – an outdoor clip! I don't know whether we will find a good, safe environment for this purpose, but we will try.

To thank especially those who have been active commenters throughout the last six years, the rules will be as follows: Every commenter on this post will add one stroke to the tally, plus one stroke for every of my last five blogiversary posts and my first-ever post six years ago you commented on. Comments have ceased in the last months, so I am curious to see how many strokes I will get.

I haven't decided on an implement, yet, so I would like to hear your suggestions. Which implement do you think fits best? In my opinion, it should be something that suits an outdoor scene.

Many thanks to all of you who have accompanied me and Ludwig through the past six years (or a part of that time)! Writing a blog would be dull without readers and commenters.

Comments will be counted until Sunday the 27th September 23:59 h German time, so don't post your comment too late! I look forward to hearing from you. (Update: Please give yourself some kind of nickname in your comment, I can't count anonymous comments.)

Military Discipline Fantasies (Part 1)

A while ago, Ludwig and I had the chance to visit a Cold War field fortification. Luckily, the weapon systems stationed there never had to be used. Today, the whole facility makes for a very interesting museum.

While the idea of people killing each other in war makes me sad, the idea of military discipline is a hot one in the context of kinky fantasies. And so I couldn't resist the temptation to use the old systems for a much more peaceful and sexy purpose than the one they were originally made for. I don't know how long we stayed there exactly, but it was quite some time and we took a huge bunch of pictures!

Bending over like in the picture above would have been rather dangerous, had the gun still been in use. It would be a nice position for a caning or whipping, though, in my view.

This is not exactly a spanking position, but still a familiar one in the world of BDSM. I love the combination of nature and machinery.

While the pictures, or at least the ones shown here, aren't very explicit (hey, there were other people around!), I still like them very much. Okay, despite of the other visitors I couldn't refrain from having Ludwig take a few naughtier photos when no one could see us. I'll show you those in a follow-up post, soon.

Well, except for this one, which is already a bare bottom picture. I guess this position is much safer than the one in front of the barrel. Seems to be quite suitable for a spanking, too, though. Hope you enjoyed the pictures. If you like them, there is more to come!

Kaelah's Corner (Jul 2015): A Towel to Wipe Away the Tears

I entered the small establishment leaving the heat outside behind me. Without the need for instructions, I took off my shoes and put on a pair of slippers. I was greeted by two petite women. Quickly, I made my way to the lady's room to make sure I was well prepared for what was about to come. When I returned, I was led to a small compartment, already familiar to me from earlier visits.

It was spartanly equipped and I instantly spotted the one size fits all uniform which lay there waiting for me. I stepped out of my clothes and put on the trousers and the shirt. It covered my modesty, but the thin fabric didn't offer much protection. "Are you ready?" The call came from outside. "Almost." I pinned up my hair to get it out of the way and positioned myself face down on the mattress and closed my eyes.

One of the women entered the room. She had already been doing the job for quite a while, but today, she would only be watching, learning new techniques from the mistress herself. "I'm sorry, today it will be painful with her", she said, sounding serious. Then she joked: "Here is a towel for the tears." I looked up and replied: "Oh, and I thought it would be something to bite on." While the mood was a playful one, I knew that the comment about the upcoming pain was indeed correct. The idea of being a demonstration object scared me a bit, but I knew I was in experienced hands.

Then she entered the room. The session started. My whole body was game. She started with the feet and then went to the legs. The back of my legs is extremely sensitive and soon, I was thinking about safewording. Breath in the pain, breath out of the pain, I repeated in my head in order to calm myself down. My legs were soon on fire, even more so because of the hot cream that was used. It was clear that I would keep a few marks for the next several days.

The apprentice watched eagerly. She remarked how brave I was. From time to time I could see a glimpse of sympathy in her eyes. Not so in the mistress's actions. Quite the opposite: having found a spot I strongly reacted to always seemed to motivate her to pay even more attention to that area.

Most of the time I didn't understand what was said because it was in a foreign language. But I did understand the German instructions that were meant for me. So, I changed my position as ordered, put my hands behind my head, bent down and pulled off the shirt so that the mistress could pay attention to my bare shoulders and back. Sometimes the pain seemed unbearable. Then it took away my breath and made me tap my fingers or wriggle my legs. Sometimes the pain mingled with pleasure as I relaxed.

And finally it was over. Balm to reduce the pain was massaged into the skin on my back. I had survived. And I hadn't needed a towel to wipe away the tears. The whole session had lasted for almost one and a half hours. Without looking at the watch I would not have been able to tell, though. I thanked the mistress and was left alone again in order to get dressed.

When I left the compartment, I was greeted with: "Your tea is already waiting for you." It was time for the aftercare. I paid for my session first and directly made a new appointment. Then I snuggled into the cozy relax armchair and sipped my tea, feeling calm, happy and relaxed.

The next visitors, a young couple, were already waiting for their turn. They were led to the compartments. While I was still slowly sipping my tea, I could hear the woman moan and cry out gently. That's the normal background sound around here, I thought. When I was finished with my tea, I put back the tray and changed the slippers for my shoes. With a final farewell I left the establishment, greeted be the hot sun outside.

In the evening, while lying in bed with my muscles aching, I told Ludwig about my session on the phone. "A towel for the tears? That's cool." He laughed. "If that were a BDSM studio and not a Thai massage studio, the boss would surely be the most dreaded dominatrix", he remarked.

I am sure he is right. Especially because she has a few sayings which would suit a dominatrix very well, too. For instance: "I know it hurts. It must. Because then things will be getting better." Or: "You can scream if you like." And finally: "If you cry, I'll keep on laughing." To be fair, she also frequently apologizes for causing so much pain. And, it doesn't hurt all the time. Some parts of the massage are also pleasurable and relaxing.

And she is really good at her job. The massage helps me with my shoulder problems and makes me more bendable again. Plus, coming to the studio is like coming home. For one hour or more I feel very cared for and closely attended to. Afterwards I am as calm as I rarely am. Going to the massage is like an island in my everyday life, a time just for myself and a place to let go.

Thinking about it, that means it resembles the experience of going to a BDSM studio even more, I guess. I surely don't mind all the talk about pain and the hissing and moaning that can be heard almost every time I am there.

A Spanking Against Forgetfulness

Ludwig and I both have to juggle quite a few balls simultaneously in our everyday life. We both do pretty well, but, unfortunately, Ludwig is a bit of the absent-minded professor type sometimes. And so he tends to forget the one or other thing. Especially things which aren't that important in his view.

Like the springform tin I asked him to bring with him. Well, of course it really wasn't the most important thing on Earth, but not having the form caused some stress for me nonetheless. We had guests, and I had to reschedule my cooking plan because I now had only one tin instead of two as I had originally planned.

The next day we were making love in our bedroom when he admitted to me that he fantasized about being "punished" (we don't do real punishments, only playful fun punishments) for having missed an important deadline (much more important than the tin) a while ago. He had been lucky and everything could be fixed, but it had caused him some sleepless nights.

Since he couldn't punish himself (at least not with a spanking), he asked me whether I liked the idea of doing it. I wanted to know from him which punishment he would consider appropriate. Ludwig told me that he had thought about thirty cane strokes. I agreed with his assessment, but I wasn't up for such a severe scene right then.

Instead I told him: "There are other things which you've forgot and should be punished for as well. Like the springform tin which I would have needed yesterday." Ludwig wasn't too happy about the idea but he didn't have any good argument against my suggestion, either. I decided that a hand spanking would do the job in this case. And so I turned Ludwig around and pulled him over my lap on the bed.

I began to spank him hard on his bare bottom, slowly and systematically, putting all my energy into each smack. To my delight, Ludwig had to grit his teeth quite a bit and his rear end quickly turned red. It still amazes me that I am indeed able to cause these reactions with my small hand, especially from someone like Ludwig who can take a severe caning very stoically.

I paused in between sets of smacks, lecturing Ludwig that the springform tin had been important to me and that him not remembering to pack it meant more stress for me when we were having guests. Then I ramped up the speed which led to Ludwig grabbing the duvet with both hands and pressing his face into the cushion. He promised that he would try not to forget such things I asked him for in the future. I replied that he better should not and that he could write a note if it helped him.

Then I rounded the spanking off with a final series of hard and fast smacks. Again Ludwig stiffened as he gritted himself through the pain. Afterwards his bottom was visibly red, but my hand looked even worse. I cherished the result of my handiwork and the tingling in my own hand. Then I finished my other task at hand which had been interrupted by the spanking. Did the reminder work? We will see!

Kaelah's Corner (Jun 2015): Hand of Doom

Most of my spanking fantasy scenarios involve implements. The most common one certainly is the cane. In my real-life play I love hand spankings, though, and not only as a bottom. My hand is also my favourite spanking “implement” as a top.

Of course, one reason for that could be the intimacy and the direct skin-to-skin-contact. I assume that is what most tops might say when being asked what they like about giving a hand spanking. But I think it isn't the most important aspect for me.

See, as a top, I love to provoke reactions. They don't have to be extreme, but they should be visible and / or audible nonetheless. With some implements, that goal can be achieved quite easily due to their severity. However, the idea of causing these reactions with my hands only is much more appealing to me than the idea of using an implement to achieve that goal. Because then it's “really” and purely me who has triggered the response.

Furthermore, it allows me to feel the efforts that I'm putting into a spanking myself through the pain in my hand. And I can see the effect afterwards when my hand is about as red as the spankee's bottom. Maybe it's because I am a switch, but I really like that. It means that I can provoke reactions as a top while simultaneously pushing myself a bit as well.

My desire to cause reactions and control a situation with my hand isn't only limited to spanking, though. I also love to tickle Ludwig and enjoy his response. And I have a thing for handjobs which allow me to connect with my mate and to feel what kind of touch he needs right at a certain moment and which kind of movement causes the strongest reactions.

Originally, Ludwig's kink doesn't really involve hand spankings. At least not as a bottom. They have a domestic touch to him which isn't his cup of tea. But the fact that I am so enthusiastic about them has made hand spankings attractive to him, too. Because when he switches to the bottom side, Ludwig loves it when the top enjoys herself and lets out her sadistic streak. Which is what I certainly do when giving a hand spanking.

Surprisingly, I am also able to cause some rather vivid reactions from Ludwig with my small hand. That always fascinates me, especially because Ludwig is able to take a rather severe caning without making a fuss. He tells me that for some reason I seem to be able to cause a lot of pain with my hands. Or at least a kind of pain that is harder for him to bear than, for instance, the pain caused by a cane. Of course that revelation absolutely feeds my kink.

In my next post, I will write about a recent hand spanking scene between Ludwig and me. Ludwig already suggested that we should do a hand spanking video since I am so enthusiastic about it. I am not sure whether that would be a good idea, though. Because I don't want any smart asses to show up and comment that hand spankings can't really hurt and that men who show reactions to a hand spanking are wimps or whatever. Well, we'll see.

How about you? Do you like to give or receive hand spankings? If so, why? Are there any others out there who enjoy provoking reactions with their hand only as much as I do? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comment section!

The Island in the Lake

This is our last post about our adventures in Finland. We did not only visit a museum full of kinky pervertibles and had fun in the sauna at the lakeside. We also did some hiking on a beautiful, almost deserted island.

Ludwig and I were brought to the island by speed boat and agreed on a time when we would return later in the afternoon. We decided to walk the trail which went around the whole small island.

After about 1.5 – 2 hours of walking, we reached the halfway mark which had a viewpoint on a small cliff. We hadn't met anyone during our trip so far and so we decided to take the risk of shooting some naughty pictures.

Here you can see the results. I really love the combination of nature and nudity in pictures and so I like these ones very much.

It wasn't all sunny that day, as you can see. But I think the clouds make for a very special, wild and rough atmosphere.

On our way back, it turned out that we weren't in fact the only visitors on the island after all. So we were indeed lucky that no other visitors had turned up at the lookout while we were taking pictures.

There wouldn't have been any place to hide and I surely wouldn't have been able to put my clothes back on quickly enough. Oops!

It was a wonderful day, though, despite of our encounter with an awfully huge number of deer keds that accidentally mistook us for deer or moose. I spare you the details of that story. Enjoy the photos instead!

Kaelah's Corner (May 2015): Just Me

Have you ever had sex (kinky or not) without a sexy fantasy going on in your head? This is a question I asked myself a while ago. And the honest answer is that I don't think so. For as long as I can remember, I play out kinky fantasies in my head when masturbating. I guess the closest I came to just being in the here and now when having sex was at the time when Ludwig and I had just become a couple and were still in the process of getting to know each other. But even then, I think there was at least some projection involved when we were having sex, which in my opinion can be translated into "I was playing out fantasies in my head".

Now the question is, is this good or bad? I think it is neither inherently good nor bad, it depends on how the fantasies are being used.
 
I assume every fellow spanko will agree that living out one's fantasies with a trusted play partner can be lots of fun! Ludwig and I aren't great role-players, but I love to create interesting characters and scenes in my head and I love to get into the mindset of a character who is very different from me in kinky clips. I would say the soulless goon in Psychic Weapon C was one of my favourites.

I am not very good at imagining Ludwig in a certain role when it is just the two of us, though. The closer we have become, the more difficult it has got. Maybe that's why kinky play has become a bit more difficult, because it seems that I either need the image of a very experienced leader in my mind for my play as a bottom or the image of someone who needs my leadership for my kinky play as a top. Since Ludwig and I are very much on eye-level in our real life, I am having difficulties imagining us in the roles of leader and follower in our kinky play.

Role-play becomes easier with people I don't know so well, though. So maybe Ludwig and I will play with others more often in the future. Having more people around also allows for more complex scenarios, so maybe we will even play in a bigger group sometime when the chance arises. Ludwig and I have already talked about roles we would enjoy seeing each other in. We will see what the future will bring!
 
I think that relying on fantasies in one's kink and sex life can have negative effects, too, though, especially in long-term relationships. For instance when one partner tries to make the other fit into their fantasies, maybe even not only during sex but in their relationship. Ludwig once had a girlfriend who wanted him to be the top 24/7. Now, Ludwig has a very caring streak and he likes to look after someone he loves. But, he doesn't want to be the leader all the time. He likes a mate with whom he can relax, or whom he can ask for support, once in a while as well. Since he was supposed to be the top all the time in that relationship, he had the feeling that he couldn't really be himself. He had to stay in a fantasy role which proved to be very exhausting.

Another way of using one's fantasies in a long-term relationship which is critical in my opinion is in order to hide from one's partner and to be protected from getting hurt or having to deal with things that don't work out so well. As I said, living out kinky fantasies together is a great adventure, but how about sex during which one or both partners escape into sexy fantasies which have nothing to do with what's just going on between them? In that case, the fantasies suddenly separate the partners from each other.

I made that experience when my commitment phobia broke through and made it more difficult for me to let myself go in intimate moments with Ludwig. Since I wanted to make things "work" nonetheless, I sometimes found myself playing out even more intense fantasies in my head than I had before. As I said, I don't think playing out fantasies in one's head while having sex is inherently bad, but I felt that on these occasions it brought me away from Ludwig instead of adding to having fun with him as it normally does.

And so I realised that I sought something new in our relationship when it comes to sexuality. Not in order to replace the kinky adventures and the fantasy part, but in addition to it. As I already mentioned in my post Breaking the Rules, in my opinion sex in a long-term relationship is mostly about the partners being accepted by each other completely as they are. And I think that includes being close to each other without the protection of fantasies and role-playing from time to time. Thankfully, Ludwig is very open to trying out new things with me. I can count myself very lucky in that regard!
 
I generally think that fantasies and role-playing offer us protection and allow us to explore things that might be very scary without the protective framework of a fantasy situation. Which is of course fine. Exploring these things while simply being oneself can be a huge challenge which might be worth trying as well, though. This is wonderfully shown in the clip Amelia Jane Rutherford and Pandora made for Backlash.

When Pandora asks Amelia Jane whether she is nervous about her upcoming caning she heartfully replies: "Yes!" And then she explains why: "Because the way I get through a caning is by playing an unpleasant character. So, I'm Amelia Jane Rutherford when I get caned normally. And she has always asked for it, basically. And this is just me. I wanted to be just me because I wanted to be honest. I don't want to be hiding behind something when I'm doing this […]. And I thought that actually it will be interesting to be caned as me because I don't know what my response really is."

The clip is really great in my opinion because it shows Amelia Jane and Pandora as themselves and therefore reflects their lovely personalities and their honest passion for spanking. So it seems that it was absolutely worth taking the challenge of just being them.

I wonder how difficult it is to just be oneself (and just see one's partner as him- or herself) when it comes to (vanilla) sex in a long-term relationship, though. In my post Breaking the Rules I said that I want to be more in the here and now when it comes to sex (and actually in my whole life as well). That also includes not playing out fantasies in my head during sex all the time. I am not sure how easy that is, though. But it sounds like an intriguing idea and so Ludwig and I have something new to explore together.

We have even tried it out once already. At first it led to lots of laughter when we tried to find a position in which we could unite and then simply be close to each other and see how it feels. After a while we ended up having sex with me on top of Ludwig (a new position to us) and surely the one or other fantasy in our heads. So, the "just being in the here and now" didn't really work out as planned, but we had fun and made new experiences nonetheless. And I think the approach of taking time to connect with each other and with ourselves instead of trying to evoke sexy fantasies right from the beginning really made a difference.

So, how about you? Are you a passionate role-player? And when you are not role-playing, do you play out fantasies in your mind when having sex? Have you made any experiences with just being in the here and now when being intimate with your partner? How did you like it? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comment section! I am curious to find out how others see and experience these things!