This is a little bit of a strange day for us, since this year on LOL Day, we not only say hello and thanks to our silent and not-so-silent readers, but kind of delurk on our own blog as well. I haven’t published a post since May, not even on my blogiversary in August.
But as the long-time readers among you know, this occasion is very important to Ludwig and me. LOL Day in 2008 was the first time I left a comment on this blog, which at the time was written solely by Ludwig. Actually, it was my first-ever comment on any spanking blog or any blog at all. I was a total newbie to spanking. While I’d had spanking fantasies for as long as I could remember, I didn’t know what these things I was fantasizing about were actually called and that there were many others like me. Only a short time earlier had I stumbled upon erotic spanking-related content for the first time, and a short time later upon this blog.
I remember how excited and nervous I was when I read about LOL Day and finally decided to write a comment and come out of the dark. It was wonderful to see how happy Ludwig was to hear from new readers. A short time later, I started exchanging e-mails with him. It was great to talk about “those fantasies” to someone who understood me. I started trusting Ludwig so much that I eventually asked him to meet in person and find out whether the chemistry was right for him to introduce me to the world of spanking.
Well, it was... And so, I did not only experience my first erotic spanking in a wonderful and very geeky Klingon initiation ceremony, but also found a boyfriend in Ludwig. The next years were full of new kinky and vanilla experiences. We met fellow bloggers and readers of our blog, visited spanking parties and made a few spanking videos. We wrote many blog posts, discussed ethical questions, shared our private exploits and kinky pictures.
We also wrote openly about some of our flaws and problems. For instance, about my commitment phobia. But despite the trouble that came especially with my anxieties, Ludwig and I became “Mr and Mrs Rohrstock-Palast” and parents, too. That changed our lives drastically. Today, I try to write this post on the fly with two vocal kids in the background.
Of course, now that we are parents and have many other new responsibilities as well, our lives have been centered around other things than kink and erotic fun during the last few years. But still we kept this blog alive until May this year.
What happened then had nothing to do with our kids. Ludwig and I have another big project that had already started last year and which we had been looking forward to. But this spring many things started going wrong. Things that were partly out of our control. Suddenly we were having trouble with people we had hoped to get along with, there were new financial challenges thanks to Covid and the increasing prices, and the time schedule didn’t work out as planned, either. Ludwig and I tried to get things right. We worked even harder, we did even more than we had already done before. Part of the things we were able to handle, especially the costs and the time schedule. We know that we can be happy, because our jobs weren’t affected negatively by Corona and we didn’t lose any family members to it. But the emotional trouble and the stress with some people because of our project escalated, and all of our attempts to calm things down were to no avail.
It got so bad that I started having panic attacks again. Ludwig was very close to a burnout, too. That was when I stopped writing on this blog, because I didn’t even have enough energy left for a singe Kaelah's Corner post a month. Or for answering e-mails (my apologies to those of you who have written to me and didn’t get a reply, I’m still planning to get back to you sometime in the future). My job, the kids, our project, looking after a family member who is suffering from health problems, and trying to work on my own health was as much as I could handle. Moreover, my libido was down to almost zero and there weren’t any kinky thoughts on my mind. So, what could I have written about, anyway?
The situation is slowly starting to get back to normal again, but it probably won’t be fully resolved until autumn next year. I hope I will be able to resume blogging earlier, but I don’t know when exactly this will be.
Still, Ludwig and I definitely wanted to use this occasion to say hello to all of you and tell you we are still around and that we will be back, too. Until then, we hope you are well and enjoy kinky fun or at least kinky erotic fantasies despite the pandemic and the still dramatic situation all over the planet.
Friday, November 19, 2021
Global Day of Delurk 2021
Monday, May 31, 2021
Kaelah's Corner (May 2021):
The Switching Top
After almost two months of silence I am back for another Kaelah's Corner post. Last month, I didn't even manage to publish my Kaelah's Corner. Ludwig and I are so busy with a vanilla project that all we do is work, look after our children, and sleep. Actually, we almost aren't affected by the current Covid-19 restrictions, since we haven't got time to meet other people or make any excursions, anyway. What affects us, though, is that the kindergarten is closed frequently due to various Covid-19 related issues, which doesn't make it any easier to meet our schedule.
Still, I wanted to write at least a brief Kaelah's Corner post this month to let you all know we are still out there. And I've found a kinky topic, too!
As I have mentioned a few times, my kinky fantasies have changed a bit with my age. I usually can't imagine the real me in the position of a bottom in a spanking scene anymore. So, when it comes to spanking fantasies, I usually go back to the ritual spanking stories which I have always enjoyed very much. And when I fantasise about that kind of scenario, I nowadays find myself more in the role of a spectator or narrator, switching between the views of the different characters involved. I suppose I still think more about what the bottom feels than about the top, but I don't imagine the real me in that role.
In my formal naval fantasies, for instance, the tops usually were and still are older and more experienced officers and the bottoms promising youngsters who will most probably one day be in the very same position as their superiors are now. And the tops in my fantasies all have once been in the very same position as the cadets or young officers whom they are leading now.
I always had a thing for tops who are willing to switch in real life, and I love the idea that the power imbalance between the characters in my spanking fantasies is only temporary and that the characters can evolve over time. Recently, I've come to realise that there is one story-telling element which I find especially attractive right now in that fantasy cosmos.
And that is when one of the tops mentally goes back to the time when they were a bottom themselves during a scene. The most appealing plot which contains that element for me is the following, for example in a naval setting:
A cadet is punished by the Captain of the ship because he has undermined the authority of the First Officer in public. As usually in my fantasies, he didn't mean to offend (my bottoms are almost always good guys), but acted without thinking. The corporal punishment takes place in the Captain's office, and the First Officer is watching the punishment.
But he is not enjoying it (just like the Captain, who only does what he thinks must be done). Instead, he actually feels sorry for the young man. Sensing the cadet's nervousness, shame and fear, the First Officer is very sympathetic, being transported back to a time when he found himself right in the same position with the Captain as a young cadet on the ship many years ago.
In my head, I then play out the punishment scene of the First Officer first, followed by the scene of the cadet with the First Officer watching. So I see the first scene from a bottom's perspective, but since it's a retrospective the top perspective of the now-First Officer is in there, too. And then there is the second scene, mostly watched from the top perspective of the First Officer, not in the role of the acting top, though, but as a sympathetic observer. Both mixtures as very appealing to me and something I can mentally dive into.
How about you? Would you find any such mixed perspectives interesting? Or do you prefer clear roles – a top is a top and a bottom is a bottom? I am curious to hear about your thoughts! Maybe I should one day write down one of the mentioned scenarios and share it on this blog?
Please stay safe and healthy, all of you! I hope that I'll at least be back for another Kaelah's Corner post next month.
Friday, April 2, 2021
Kaelah's Corner (Mar 2021):
The Curtain Stick
While working through old stuff some days ago, Ludwig and I came across an old curtain stick (not a curtain rod, but a kind of stick used to open and close the curtain). Of course, Ludwig had the same thought that probably most of our readers would have. He called me with a glee in his eyes and said: "Bend over. I have to try this."
Being the obedient and submissive wife that I am, I of course did as he told me. Ludwig took aim, swung back his arm, I heard a swoosh, a crack – and jumped up with a surprised "Ouch!" because the stick had left an unexpectedly sharp pain on my right buttock. "Are you nuts?", I snapped (okay, maybe I am not so submissive after all), "that thing stings like hell, even over my trousers – plus, you only hit my right buttock!" For some reason Ludwig didn't seem to have much pity for me. Quite the contrary, he somehow looked rather content.
"Now I want to try that, too, just so that you know how much this thing hurts," I said, and took the stick out of Ludwig's hands. "Okay," he sighed, and bent over. I took aim, trying to cover both buttocks with the plastic stick and not to hurt Ludwig with the broader handle. I swung back and hit Ludwig's backside a little bit too high for my taste. It didn't seem to bother him, though. As a matter of fact he didn't seem to be impressed by the stroke at all.
"Damn, I am out of practice! My aim was to high, I have to try that again," I exclaimed. "Hey, why do I get more strokes?" Ludwig protested. But he let me try again, two times. My aim got better, but for some reason Ludwig seemed to be much less impressed by the tool than I had been. "It's not that bad," he told me. Maybe I was going too soft? Slightly irritated and a bit disappointed, I gave up. My aim wasn't good enough for harder strokes, and maybe Ludwig simply was tougher than me.
A while later I was in the bedroom, took down my pants and looked into the mirror. And what did I see? I called Ludwig and showed him the marks, or, rather, the single mark on my right buttock. It looked like a mark from a broader kind of cane. "Oh, nice," Ludwig exclaimed. "But why is it only on my right buttock?" I asked. Then it came to me.
"You hit me with the handle, didnt't you?" I asked Ludwig. "Yes, of course!" he said. "But the handle is too broad and too heavy. I did my best NOT to hit you with it," I protested. "I thought it was a bit like the tip of a riding crop," Ludwig explained, "so I had to try it out." "Try it out on YOUR bottom the next time!" I grumbled. But I had to admit that the mark left by the handle was beautiful. And at least now the riddle was solved where the sharp pain on my right buttock came from and why Ludwig had been so unimpressed by the curtain stick.
Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to take a picture that day. But when I looked into the mirror the next morning, I realised that the mark still looked almost like it had the evening before. It hadn't become much paler, and the skin hadn't turned blue, either. So I used the opportunity to make a picture for you.
Despite the nice mark, the curtain stick won't stay with us. It simply isn't really suitable as a spanking implement. But at least we now have a picture to commemorate it. And with that we wish all of you, who celebrate it, a Happy Easter. And a happy rabbit feast to all of you from your friendly atheists.
Tuesday, March 2, 2021
Kaelah's Corner (Feb 2021):
Trying Out New Kinks
Welcome to another belated edition of Kaelah's Corner. The pandemic still has us in its grip (I just mistakenly wrote in tits grip, whatever that means ;-) ). I came to realise that Covid-19 doesn't only affect our private lives and kink, but of course the businesses of kinky sex workers and producers, too.
Some of them have made a virtue out of necessity and have begun to shoot more solo material and use the more intimate setting to try out new kinks. Among them are Ariel Anderssen (aka Amelia-Jane Rutherford) and Leia-Ann Woods. Pandora / Blake also had to find new ways to make clips for Dreams Of Spanking. And among their new clips there are a few solo ones as well.
My own fantasies don't always revolve around CP any more, either, but also around more BDSMy and more explicit things. I suppose it's nothing I really want to try out for real, but it is fun to play around with the idea of having sex in front of others or with a group of women in my fantasies.
And so I also enjoy watching more explicit stuff nowadays. One kink that especially caught my interest when looking through Leia-Ann's new videos was humping things / grinding. Funnily, Pandora / Blake just put up a new video which involves that as well. Of course that kink is predestined for solo videos – and for solo action at home.
Now, in stressful times, I am unfortunately very rarely in the mood for anything sexual. But one evening when I had the equally rare situation of being all alone in front of my computer, looking at some kinky videos made me want to experiment a bit with a table, too. And indeed I found it a very satisfying experience.
The day after I told Ludwig about it, and he was very eager to watch when I experimented the next time. I was a bit unsure at first – it's already hard for me to get into the right headspace when I am alone nowadays, having my husband watch is not something that makes it easier (when I am playing out scenarios with spectators in my head, they are all fictional and nameless). Fortunately Ludwig understands that – he completely loses his focus when I try watching him going solo, too.
But a few days later I gave it a try, nonetheless, and while it was a bit more difficult to get in the right headspace, it worked. And so I got to share my new experiments with Ludwig, and he enjoyed watching my sexual self which comes out so rarely these days.
It made me think about what the fellow kinksters among us who are solo do in these times. Is trying out new things and maybe sharing them with play partners via video a way to get through this pandemic? Experiences, anyone?
Monday, February 1, 2021
Kaelah's Corner (Jan 2021):
Helping Out With a Topic
Yesterday in the midst of bringing our kids to bed, Ludwig and I met in the bathroom while the little ones were still running through the house. "I am so tired," I told Ludwig, "but there is still so much to do. And it's the last day of the month, so I should also write a Kaelah's Corner post. But I haven't even got a topic!"
Ludwig, who had been brushing his hair, didn't hesitate a moment. He took his wooden brush and slapped my bottom with it several times over my pyjamas. Then he grinned with satisfaction. "Now you've got a topic," he announced, "my pleasure." And with that he went back to business. That's Ludwig – never too busy to lend a helping hand! ;-)
About one hour and a long good night ritual including a huge tantrum by a tired kid later, I found myself lying in bed, so tired that I fell asleep together with our little ones, as I do so often these days. So no post was published that day after all.
Today I had a long working day and when I came down for supper it was a bit later than usual. During supper, Ludwig suddenly said: "You've been late for supper again without giving me a quick heads-up. So I'll give you another topic for a post. Isn't that great?"
He smiled. And then he laughed about the angry glances I shot at him. Ludwig knows exactly that I'm not into domestic discipline and he loves to chaff me about it. Actually Ludwig isn't into the real thing, either, but finds the idea of using real topics for play sessions appealing, no matter whether as top or bottom.
Now, some hours later, it is Ludwig who has fallen asleep together with the little ones. And so I am sitting here alone in front of my computer without getting the announced – no, not punishment (I leave that to your kinky fantasy, in case you're into that kind of storyline) – massage for my hurting shoulders Ludwig wanted to give me.
But at least I have managed to write a post despite my tiredness! And I've got a topic, or at least a question: "What was the most impressive, the funniest or otherwise most memorable spanking quickie you've ever experienced?"
Please stay safe and healthy, everyone. I hope in a few months we will have made it through the worst part of this exhausting pandemic!
Monday, January 25, 2021
Thirteenth Blogiversary
“Man plans, and God laughs.” Even though I’m an atheist, the meaning of this old Yiddish saying resonates with me: life is full of uncertainty. This was especially true in 2020, when the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted all our lives.
Thankfully, Kaelah and I were able to deal with it relatively well. As parents of two young children, we didn’t have much of a social life in recent years, even before the pandemic. So that wasn’t really new for us. We were also used to working from home already. As a result, we were relatively well prepared for the new situation. Still, the last ten months have been quite stressful and taxing for us, as they undoubtedly were for all of you.
Returning to blogging or editing kinky videos wasn’t an option for me under the circumstances. There simply wasn’t enough time, and even if there had been, I probably wouldn’t have been in the right mood for kinky writing or kinky filmmaking. Kaelah continued to keep the blog going on a semi-regular basis, and that was all we were able to do.
The COVID-19 pandemic reminds us what is really important in life, and needless to say, there are more important things than BDSM – in order to have a healthy and fulfilling sex life, you have to be healthy in the first place. So, I hope that you are all doing okay, that you stay safe and that you aren’t suffering from cabin fever quite yet. Let’s hope that we can all return to some semblance of normalcy over the course of 2021.
In any case, since I started this blog on 25th January 2008, today is my thirteenth blogiversary. I’m using this occasion to give you a quick heads-up, and basically, everything I wrote this time last year still applies: as soon as I get enough time, I’m going to write a couple of posts which I still need to write in order to tie up some loose ends, and I’m going to edit and publish a couple of videos which Kaelah and I have already shot. I can’t promise you when that will be, but I can promise you that we won’t close down the blog until everything is finished. We also still have a major F/M video to shoot, and I hope to get that done sometime this year as well.
In the meantime, take care of yourselves, and hang in there. I’m optimistic that the COVID-19 situation is going to improve significantly in the coming months, due to warmer weather and mass vaccinations. And hopefully, we will all be able to go back to doing the things we like – including BDSM and blogging.