Saturday, December 17, 2016

Your Questions Answered (Part 1)

In my last Kaelah's Corner post I invited you to ask Ludwig and me questions. I wasn't sure whether anyone would have any questions at all, but to my surprise five of our readers came up with very interesting ones. Since the topics you raised could each have been the theme for a separate post, our detailed answers will be published in two posts. That also gives those who haven't posed a question, yet, but would like to do so a few more days to write a comment. So here are our answers (which I have written in cooperation with Ludwig) to the first two questions :

Michael M asked: "Now that you have been together for so long has the interest in spanking each other tailed off a bit?"

Yes, it has. There are several reasons for this, I think.

First of all, I guess it is quite normal that new couples engage in sexual activities more often than couples who have been together for a long time. Having sex (and spanking for us is a part of that) is a way of getting to know each other and of being close to each other at a time when one's partner is still almost a stranger. This becomes less important when the partners know each other very well and share their daily life which involves lots of activities other than sex that bring the partners closer.

In addition to that, during our first years together, Ludwig and I were in a long-distance relationship. We saw each other only about every two weeks and when we did, we were in a holiday mood. So, spanking also was a way to bring us closer and enjoy a weekend off when we only had a rather limited time together and no shared obligations. Today we have a busy daily life with lots of vanilla responsibilities which makes it more difficult for us to get in the mood for planning and doing a spanking scene.

Then for Ludwig, spanking was always the most interesting in combination with making videos. Even when we started out as a couple, Ludwig was perfectly happy with private scenes to remain rare. His kinky mood usually heightened when we were in the stage of planning a video shoot or at least other kinky activities for the blog. Now we have realised almost every video idea that was important to us and it was clear from the beginning that our kinky activities would decrease once this state was reached.

As for me, I was absolutely new to spanking when Ludwig and I played for the very first time. As you can imagine, I was like a kid in a candy shop back then and wanted to try out many different things. Since then, I have done a lot of scenes that intrigued me, created videos, wrote blog posts, read blogs and spanking stories, watched kinky videos and so on, and the initial focus on kink to the exclusion of everything else has gone away.

Last but not least, when we came together, Ludwig was already an experienced top and I was the newbie who let him guide me into this strange new world. Later, when I felt ready, we switched places from time to time and I was allowed to top the man who was mostly a top himself. Both premises made it rather easy to come up with scenarios and imagine each other in opposed kinky roles. Since Ludwig and I now organise so many things as a team, though, and know each other so extremely well, it has at least for me become less easy to get into a toppy or bottom mindset with him or to imagine Ludwig as a fictional character for a role-play scenario. Today it's sometimes easier for me to see us for instance topping others together at a play event than to get in the mood for a scene that has the two of us on different sides of the game.

Simon asked: "If you are punished by or punish someone else how is it different to punishing each other?"

I hope it is okay that I'll translate "punish" as "spank" because, as you know,
we don't do real discipline spankings and even most of our role-play scenarios aren't punishment scenes, either.

I think the difference is that spanking play between Ludwig and me is usually more intimate than spanking play with others. Often the spanking will lead to vanilla sex, something we don't share with others.

The exception from that rule is when we make a video clip together, because then others are involved through the camera. When we make videos, we are very much focussed on the creative process and the final clip. One of our last video clips together (the new professor) was the first time Ludwig had enjoyed the build-up and the caning while it happened and not only later when he watched the film material we produced.

Playing with others, on the other hand, makes it easier for us to engage in role-play scenarios. The reason is that there is at least a certain distance between us and the other participants, as they are acquaintances or friends at most and we don't share our daily life with them and don't know them as extremely well as we know each other. That makes it a lot easier to imagine them as a certain role-play character and to get into a role-play character, too. It also makes it a bit easier to experiment with things, because if something doesn't work out as planned, the disappointment doesn't afflict our relationship as much as a failed scene between the two of us might.

Playing with others can also give us a special thrill in the sense that, for instance, getting naked or telling the other to strip is different with a stranger. Between the two of us it of course isn't such a special thing anymore, since we have seen each other nude hundreds of times and as lovers don't feel strange being nude in front of one another at all.


Gustofur said...

I really enjoyed this post.

Downunder Don said...

Dear Kaelah, you tell the story of spankers happy within themselves. I hope this happiness and contentment carries on for many more decades to come. Hoping you both have a joyful (and warm) Christmas season

Simon said...

Thank you for answering my question so succinctly.

Kaelah said...

@ Gustofur: I'm glad you did!

@ Downunder Don: Thank you for your kind words! I wish you and your loved ones a joyful Christmas season as well.

@ Simon: You're welcome. Thank you very much for your intriguing question!