Kaelah's Corner (Jan 2014): Ghost of a Chance

As I already announced in my last post of 2013, I would like to discuss different aspects of kink and relationships in a series of posts. This is the first post of the new series. I want to start right at the beginning. So, the question of today's post is: How does being kinky influence the chance and the process of finding a partner?

In Ludwig's and my case, our kink proved to be the key to finding a partner. As the long-time readers know, we met through this blog. I know several other couples who met each other through their kink as well, for instance at a spanking party. I am not sure how many kinky people specifically search for a like-minded fellow kinkster when looking for a partner, though.

When Ludwig and I met for the first time, my discovery of erotic spanking and kinky blogland had only started a few months earlier. While I had been aware of enjoying fantasies which where somehow related to BDSM long before that, it had never occurred to me that I might act out any of these fantasies for real. All the more so because most of my fantasies centered around asexual M/M scenarios and didn't seem to have anything to do with sex between lovers, not even with the classical master/dominatrix BDSM I had come across on TV. At that time, the idea that a potential partner had to be into spanking, hadn't crossed my mind.

Ludwig had been aware of the nature of his kink and of the spanking community much longer. He had even tried it out for real, at first with a professional dominatrix and later with friends in the scene. But still, being kinky wasn't something he expected from a potential girlfriend. Finding a woman who was a good match in all the usual areas seemed to him to be difficult enough already. Finding a mate with fitting interests and personal traits, with whom he would fall in love and who would fall in love with him and who, in addition to all that, was kinky as well, seemed like an utopian idea.

So, before we met each other, Ludwig and I would both have happily engaged with a vanilla partner. For me, the kinky fantasies would most probably have remained some nice stories to dwell on before falling asleep, something very different and separate from the sex between lovers. Ludwig would most probably have been quite content had he been able to watch a spanking video from time to time without his girlfriend freaking out.

But what about today? To be honest, I am not really sure. Ludwig and I now know that it is possible to find a mate who is not just a good fit in terms of personality, ideas about life, shared (vanilla) interests et cetera, but who shares one's kink as well. I have also found out that I fantasise about spanking and kink during “vanilla” sex, too. On the other hand, after having been in a love relationship for almost five years now, I have realised that even when both partners are kinky, that doesn't necessarily mean that their kinks fit perfectly or that they are always in the mood for the same kind of play and sex at the same time. Furthermore, in the long term sex becomes only one (maybe even small) part of what the relationship is all about.

So, would Ludwig and I still be willing to engage with a vanilla partner if we didn't have each other (or if one of us completely lost their kinky spirit)? Ludwig told me that he isn't sure whether he would still be willing to start a relationship with a vanilla partner, now that he has experienced a relationship with a like-minded spirit. I guess it would be different if I became vanilla (not very likely to happen) or couldn't engage in kinky play anymore for other reasons (a bit more likely, at least times of low sex drive have already occurred). But still, I assume it would be difficult for Ludwig to go back to only watching spanking videos and not doing anything for real.

As for me, I would definitely prefer a kinky partner as well. And I would probably look for a partner on kinky platforms or at kinky events if I lost Ludwig as my mate. But I think I might also be able to live with a vanilla partner, under the condition that he wouldn't have issues or condemn my kink. In my case, a potential partner would not only have to be okay with my kink, he would also have to be okay with the fact that I have made and published spanking photos and videos. I wouldn't want to engage with someone who had problems with that part of my life. However, I wouldn't want to reduce the number of potential partners to fellow spankos only. If I were in a relationship with a vanilla partner, I would maybe watch a spanking clip from time to time and I would most probably also fantasise about spanking during sex or when masturbating. With some luck, my partner wouldn't mind giving me a playful smack or being smacked by me once in a while, either.

Of course, the question how to combine kink, sex and all the other aspects of being partners in a long-term relationship is another interesting topic. It also depends on whether one has got a vanilla partner or a kinky partner. I would like to cover that topic and other questions around kink and relationships in separate posts, though.

For today, I would love to hear your thoughts on the influence that kink has on the issue of finding a mate. Do you think that being kinky makes it easier or harder to find a partner? Does a person have to share your kink to be a potential mate for you? Does he or she have to be at least accepting of your kink? And, finally, has your view concerning these questions changed over time? You are kindly invited to share your thoughts in the comment section!

Sixth Blogiversary

Six of the best! My, isn't that the perfect anniversary for a spanking blog?

When I published my first post on 25th January 2008, I probably did not expect to still be doing this six years later. To be honest, I don't quite remember what I expected at the time. I don't think I thought too much about the distant future. I was just happy, excited and curious to be starting out with a blog of my own, following in the footsteps of other spanking bloggers whom I admired. Many of them have since gone into retirement. From today's point of view in 2014, "The Mad King" is beginning to look like ancient history. It's quite surreal to think that I started this long ago.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that the intervening years were six of the best in the history of kinky blogging, but they were certainly six very good years for me. When you write a blog for such a long time, it sometimes feels like a chore and a nuisance. For most of the time, however, it has been interesting and fulfilling for me.

I would like to thank all of you who follow this blog and comment, old readers and new ones. Knowing that there are people out there who are looking forward to the next post is one very important ingredient that still keeps me going after all these years. I don't know how much longer I will be writing this blog. It is safe to say, though, that Rohrstock-Palast is closer to the end of its lifetime than to the beginning. So enjoy it while it lasts!

Kaelah is with me at the moment and we are spending a nice weekend together. Maybe we will have a spanking to celebrate the blogiversary. We just haven't figured out yet who would get it. The normal custom in the kinky community is that the one celebrating an anniversary gets a spanking, but I am mostly a top and usually write about toppy stuff here, so wouldn't it be more fitting to dish one out? Ah well, we will see. Maybe we should just switch.

Happy blogiversary to me, have a nice day y'all, and thank you for reading!

The Perfect Whipping Bench

 

(One doesn't need a bench for a beautiful caning position. Picture courtesy of Restrained Elegance.)

I assume that I am not the only spanko for whom not only the storyline, the implement(s) and the dynamic of a spanking are important but also the environment in which the scene takes place and the position of the spankee. The latter is greatly influenced by the device on which the spanking takes place.

Of course one doesn't necessarily need any special furniture for a spanking scene. The spankee can, for instance, simply bend over a table. That can make for a very beautiful position, as the above picture of Amelia Jane Rutherford shows. It is also possible to use a simple chair, either for an OTK spanking or for the spankee to bend over and place their hands on the seat of the chair. For more intimate scenes the spankee can also bend over a bed, kneel on it or lie down, maybe with the bottom raised by a cushion. And of course a couch can serve similar purposes.

(A normal bed can do the job as well. Picture courtesy of Dreams of Spanking.)

Ludwig and I have tried all the variants mentioned above. I mean, what would spanking be without some variety? We have also created a kind of bench for our first very severe caning scene. Since we didn't own a "professional" bench, we had to improvise, though.

 

I wanted a real whipping bench for some time. The ones one usually gets at BDSM shops are usually rather big, though. And I didn't want to lose too much space. In addition to that those benches can be very expensive.

(The benches used by some video producers are obviously self-made. One that Ludwig likes. Picture courtesy of Mood Pictures.)

 

Finally, many of the benches looked too BDSMy and too cold for my taste. I am not so much into steel and leather, I prefer wood. I also think that wooden benches somehow look more formal which fits my kinky fantasies and reminds me less of a dungeon.

One can of course use certain pervertibles as whipping benches, too. When it comes to spanking devices which are (at least partly) wooden, gym horses are a variant one may be able to find from time to time on online selling platforms. I like them visually, but there is still the problem that they are rather huge and that it is difficult to explain to others what the thing is doing at one's home, in case one doesn't have the space to put it somewhere where it is hidden from the sight of visitors.

(The famous Lupus whipping bench. Picture courtesy of Lupus Pictures.)

 

So, buying a whipping bench didn't seem like an option that would work. I came to the conclusion that I had to build my own bench like many fellow spankos do. But how was the bench supposed to look like? That was the easy part because there is a lot of inspiration out there and I soon had a clear idea which kind of positions I wanted and how the bench had to be build to suit these ideas.

Like many others, Ludwig liked the famous Lupus Pictures bench very much. I definitely wanted a bench which allowed for a bend-over position like the Lupus bench, but the bench was a bit too chunky for my taste. Another bench used in some Spankingserver videos already came closer to what I had in mind.

But I didn't only want standing positions to be possible, I also wanted kneeling ones like the one I had tried on our friend Peter's bench. One huge advantage of his self-made bench was the fact that it looked like a normal sitting bench when being folded. Still, Peter's bench wasn't suitable for any standing positions.

(The Spankingserver bench which I like. Picture courtesy of Spankingserver.)

 

So I came to the conclusion that I needed a bench consisting of two parts. One part which was supposed to look like the Spankingserver bench and a smaller stool which could be put in front of the bench to kneel on it. For a standing position the bigger part could be used alone. When both parts where used, the spankee could kneel on the small stool and either put the elbows on the upper part of the bench or place the hands on it or bend over the upper part. Finally, the stool could also be used alone to bend over in a kneeling position.

My idea still held the problem that the bench would most probably not pass as normal furniture, but at least the two parts would be easier to move around and to put away than a huge one-part bench. The real problem was that I don't have any experience with building furniture. That wouldn't have kept me from trying, but the project would have been rather time-consuming and I would have needed help from friends.

(A position which was supposed to be possible with my bench. Picture courtesy of Spanking Central.)

It turned out that all the work wasn't necessary, though. Because some weeks ago, I unexpectedly stumbled over "my" bench in a furniture store. Well, of course it wasn't supposed to be a whipping bench. But now it is one and Ludwig and I have already tried it out for our LOL-Day clip! I'll tell you more about how I found the bench and show you how it looks like in another post.

 

For today, I would love to hear your thoughts on whipping benches. Do you have any interest in whipping benches at all or do you prefer "normal furniture" or maybe even spankings without any furniture at all? If you like whipping benches, what material do you prefer? Which positions should be possible? Can you tell how your perfect whipping bench looks like? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section.

Discussion: Consent and Its Limits

I mentioned in late October that, to try out something new and encourage more reader involvement, I would like to start a series of discussions about topics surrounding spanking and BDSM. Now in the new year, I'm finally getting around to it. Rohrstock-Palast has always been one of the spanking blogs that feature not just pretty pictures and sexy anecdotes, but a fair share of intellectual wankery as well. It seems like a perfect place to engage in conversation about some of the "deeper" questions of BDSM.

This is an experiment of sorts. Hopefully, we will get some comments and an interesting discussion. If there is interest in this kind of thing, I will do it more often in the future.

The first topic I would like you to discuss is consent and its limits. The phrase "safe, sane and consensual" is often used in our community to sum up the principles guiding responsible BDSM play. Obviously, for any sexual activity to be morally acceptable, it must be consensual. Consent is what separates sex from rape and BDSM from violent assault.

So my first question to you is, what are the necessary conditions that must be fulfilled for us to be able to say that an action was consensual? Is it simply a matter of two people saying "Yes, sure, let's do this!", or do other requirements have to be met as well? Is anyone able to give consent to engage in BDSM activities, or are there groups of people who cannot give consent in the way that is necessary?

My second questions regards the limits of consent (if any exist, in your opinion). There are some extreme actions where it seems highly problematic to say that they were morally acceptable simply because they were consensual. Take, for instance, the case of Armin Meiwes, whom the tabloids called the "cannibal of Rothenburg". The case was so bizarre that it made international headlines at the time, so some of you might remember it. Armin Meiwes is a man from the German town of Rothenburg who had had fantasies about slaughtering and eating someone since his teenage years. In 2001, he posted an ad on the internet and found a willing victim named Bernd Jürgen Brandes. With Brandes' consent, Meiwes cut off Brandes' penis and they tried (unsuccessfully, it seems) to cook and eat it. Meiwes later killed Brandes by cutting his throat and proceeded to store Brandes' flesh in a freezer and eat large parts of it in the coming months. He was eventually arrested when he put out another contact ad and someone reported it to the police, who searched his house and found the gruesome evidence of what had happened.

In court, Meiwes' lawyer argued that it was a case of "assisted suicide". In a first trial, Meiwes was sentenced to eight years in prison for manslaughter. In a retrial, he got a life sentence for murder. Indeed, the case is difficult to judge. While the actions perpetrated by Meiwes are horrific, there is no doubt that Brandes willingly and knowingly participated. Online communications between the two and a four-and-a-half hour video which they recorded of the act show that Brandes genuinely wanted to have his penis cut off and that he genuinely wanted to be killed and eaten.

Should we say that Meiwes' and Brands' actions are morally acceptable because they were consensual? I know some people who hold that position, but I myself do not and I suspect that most of you don't, either. It seems intuitively very clear that such actions are immoral and that the mere fact that they were consensual does not justify them. Apparently, then, there is a limit to consent - some actions are immoral despite the fact that they are consensual.

My question is: where do you draw the line? Most of us regard consensual spanking, caning, whipping and the like as morally okay and the consensual killing and cannibalism of the case I mentioned above as immoral. Somewhere between the two, there is a line beyond which actions become immoral even when they are consensual. Where, exactly, do you think that line is? Which types of consensual actions are morally okay and which ones are not?

I have thought about these questions long and hard and I have a clear position on them. I will not tell you about it today, though, because I do not want to prejudice you for the discussion. Please write down your own views if you like, discuss them with others, and I will write a summary of the discussion in another post where I will also give you the details of my own position.

Kinky Football Training

When Ludwig and I surfed the internet a few days ago, I suddenly spotted a good-looking female bottom covered in beautiful panties somewhere on a news site full of articles. "Wait, what was that?" Ludwig, who had already opened another page, returned back to the main news page where I had seen the picture. And indeed, my eyes hadn't betrayed me.

We took a closer look and it turned out that the picture was part of a short video clip. It shows a special training session of a football team from Belgium which in my opinion is rather kinky. And there's even some M/M action at the end of the clip as Ludwig correctly pointed out. I've found the clip on YouTube and you can watch it below. I find the girls very attractive and think that they provide a good motivation for the team's aiming practice.

Maybe the English national team should use that training method, too? It might increase their chances in penalty shoot-out situations. Alternatively, they could replace their keeper with a sexy British girl for the next penalty shoot-out. Maybe that would entice their opponents to hit the girl's butt with the ball instead of scoring a goal? The training methods of the Tottenham Hotspur youth team don't look really promising, though, methinks. But see and decide for yourself...

Happy New Year: A Sneak Peek

Happy New Year! Kaelah and I hope that you had a "guten Rutsch", a "good slide" into 2014. We did, spending a quiet but enjoyable new year's eve with a friend of ours and going outside at midnight to set off some fireworks. Kaelah playfully chided me for being a "silly boy", but could not resist lighting the fuse of a rocket herself, which she had never done before in her life. See, I seduced her once again!

Last year, I made the New Year resolution to write more blog posts than in 2012, which had not been a very productive year for me with only six posts while Kaelah kept things going. I met that goal with a large margin, writing 21 posts in 2013 to Kaelah's 42. Maybe this year, we can achieve more even numbers still. But I am not going to make any specific New Year resolutions this time. How about you? Have you set yourself any specific goals for 2014?

As Kaelah wrote in her last post, things between us have not always been smooth sailing during the past year. Part of the challenge we are facing is undoubtedly the normal set of adjustments for a couple who have been together for several years and are settling into a truly long-term relationship, while another part of it is probably due to the fact that we are both such perfectionists and so introspectively minded, thus prone to self-doubts and over-complicating things. But while the past twelve months have at times been difficult, they have also taught us many things about ourselves and each other. Moreover, we had a great holiday together over the last two weeks, laughing a lot and really enjoying each other's company.

The other day, we filmed the LOL Day Clip for which you voted in November. I notice that it has been some time since we showed you any new pictures on this blog, so I thought that we would start the new year with a little sneak peek. Here is the result of the 19 cane strokes given by Kaelah to me:

And the result of the 22 cane strokes when I returned the favour:

There are many enterprises to take care of at the start of 2014, so I am not making any promises. But if everything goes as planned, I should have time to edit the clip in the next couple of weeks and you should be able to see it fairly soon.

Let's hope that our sneak peek is a harbinger of many exciting kinky adventures to come in 2014, not just for Kaelah and me, but for you, our readers, as well.