Kaelah's Corner (Jan 2013): Invisible

(The four monkeys. Originally, the three wise monkeys represented virtues in Asia. In the Western world, though, they have become a symbol for turning a blind eye. Picture courtesy of Wikipedia.)

Last Friday, the Russian Lower House, the State Duma, passed with big majority a draft bill at the first reading which is supposed to ban "gay propaganda" towards minors. The law not only constitutes a de facto ban on any public demonstrations for gay rights, gay pride parades, gay film festivals and the like. It means that even giving a health information brochure or an academic textbook mentioning homosexuality to a minor might be viewed as an offence. Conceivably, even a kiss in public could get a gay couple into trouble (after all, there might be children somewhere within viewing distance).

So, the bill is disguised as a measure supposed to protect minors. What it really is about becomes clear when one takes the following numbers into account: a study in 2010 revealed that 74 percent of the Russians who were interviewed deemed homosexuality immoral respectively a mental illness. A study from 2012 showed that 86 percent of the respondents were in favour of a bill against "gay propaganda". The orthodox church plays an important role in the matter, preaching of homosexuality as being sinful.

The Russian enclave Kaliningrad Oblast already has a law that bans "gay, bisexual and paedophiliac propaganda" not only towards children, but in general. The conflation with paedophilia already shows how homo- and bisexuality are seen here, and how they are being criminalised. As if there were no difference between consensual sex among adult men or women and the abuse of minors. Of course, there is no clear definition of what "gay propaganda" even means. Thus, homosexuals can't know what, exactly, could get them into trouble. Two men holding hands in public might lead to an arrest. Not to mention the general risk of being physically attacked by homophobes.

The legal situation in Germany is very different and there is generally a higher acceptance of homosexuality. Even our foreign minister is gay, as is the mayor of our capital city, Berlin. But still, until 1969 homosexual acts between men (it's always just homosexuality between men that seems to be the problem!) was liable to prosecution. And it's only since 1994 that the legal age for sexual acts is the same as for heterosexual sex. Furthermore, the situation seems to be getting worse again in recent years, especially among young people. "Schwul" ("gay") is the most common swearword among German pupils, often used as an adjective in the sense of "bad". Especially young male muslims have prejudices against homosexuals. But it's not only them. Many young homosexuals are scared of outing themselves and of showing their homosexuality in public. Stupid and hurtful comments are common reactions, and sometimes physical violence against homosexuals happens as well. 

(My favourite M/M video producer, Spanking Central, recently published a new instalment of the great "Dojo Discipline" series. Picture courtesy of Spanking Central.)

As an avowed fan of M/M spankings, I am convinced that the situation in our community isn't any better. I already wrote a huge post about a discussion on Chross's site about x/M spankings where lots of homophobia showed and about Chross's wonderful decision to open his discussion board to x/M spankings despite of the vocal protests of some readers. In my opinion it is always the same pattern when it comes to M/M and homophobia, only that usually there isn't anyone like Chross who decides to be inclusive despite the protests. When it comes to M/M, you've always got a small but very vocal homophobic minority screaming: "We don't want that! Get it out of this forum / blog / website!" Then you've got some more people who pretend that they aren't homophobes, but support the "We don't want that!" approach arguing that it just isn't their personal preference and that the M/M fans should find another place which is explicitly for M/M spankings. And then there is the huge majority of people who simply watch silently because they don't care about M/M either way.

Now, don't get me wrong. I've said this several times and I say it again: I don't expect others to like M/M spanking or watch M/M clips, never mind participate in M/M play. Everyone has their personal preferences and that's okay. But there is a huge difference between 1) simply having personal preferences and leaving other people to theirs, and 2) campaigning to rid discussion boards or link lists of anything that doesn't match one's personal preferences. The homopobes of the spanking community aren't just not interested in M/M material; they don't want any of it anywhere on the sites they visit.

Kelley recently wrote about a new M/M spanking video producer she likes. The site is called Straight Lads Spanked and features formal spanking scenarios between straight men. Of course, her posts about the site caught my interest because it's always nice for me to see M/M spankings featured on other blogs. In one of her posts, Kelley admitted that she liked the site's approach of using straight guys for formal M/M spankings. One reason she gave was that she isn't sexually interested in gay men and they wouldn't be interested in her, which makes it more difficult for her to relate to them when watching a clip. Another reason Kelley mentioned was that she wants to see asexual discipline scenes and finds those easier to imagine with straight guys. I have to admit that several of Kelley's arguments don't make much sense to me. For instance, the asexual discipline argument would mean that formal M/F scenes should only be filmed with gay and lesbian actors, because only then could you make sure that they aren't into each other. I have never heard anyone suggest that. But still, we are only talking about personal preferences here.

What made me sad, though, was a comment written by Bonnie. She wrote in reply to Kelley's first post about the new site: "You will hear no complaints from me about photos of cute young men. I wasn't aware of this site. As you say, most M/M spanking sites, at least the ones with pictures, seem to progress rather rapidly from spanking to gay sex. Not that that's necessarily bad, but my readers tell me they don't want to see it." And that's exactly the difference between personal preferences and the point where people try to exclude others because their preferences are different from one's own. It doesn't come as a surprise to me that the line is drawn when it comes to sexualised spankings between men, the point when the spanking becomes clearly linked to gay sex.

(Straight Lads Spanked, the new producer Kelley wrote about. Picture courtesy of Straight Lads Spanked.)

Now, I have already admitted earlier that I generally prefer formal spanking scenarios without sex, especially in videos, no matter which gender constellation we are talking about. But Bonnie's link list includes lots of blogs and Tumblr blogs with very explicit pictures and stories of heterosexual action as well. No one seems to have a problem with that. I have to admit that some Tumblr blogs are very difficult for me to bear, not only because of the pictures, but also because of the oftentimes dumb "Bend over you whore slut pussy!" comments they are accompanied by. I would never ask Bonnie to delete these blogs from her link list, though. I just don't look at them! But apparently, the same level of tolerance can't be expected from others when it comes to M/M sex. I mean, we are neither talking about pictures or posts which are actually on Bonnie's blog, nor do any pictures show up in her link list. All we are talking about are a couple of links and maybe the first two or three sentences from the linked blog post being visible in the list. That's all! But apparently, the danger of stumbling across gay sex between men by clicking the wrong link is too horrifying a prospect for some people. And so they demand that such links be removed altogether, even if they constitute only 5 percent of the total, if that.

Spanking Tube is another example. Ludwig and I had a very lively discussion with Mija and Paul quite a while ago because Spanking Tube hides M/M videos under a separate label and doesn't include them in the "Newest Videos" and "Favourite Videos" lists which are the most favourite search options. The four of us agreed that this treats M/M videos and their fans as second class citizens of the site. The part where our views differed, though, was whether given the homophobia in our scene featuring M/M videos at all was already an improvement compared with other sites which don't allow M/M spankings in the first place (Ludwig's and my view), or whether this was maybe even worse because Spanking Tube is making more money by also including M/M videos but at the same time treats M/M fans as second class citizens who should be kept out of sight (Mija's and Paul's view). I don't know whether my assumption was correct that, given the homophobia in our community, featuring M/M even in a separate corner entails a higher risk of losing viewers than a chance of making more money, but Paul has written a new post only a short while ago about Punished.net, a new site of the same company which also owns Spanking Tube, on which M/M is now completely banned.

Of course, there are positive news as well: Dreams Of Spanking has been voted Most Improved Spanking Site of the Year on The Spanking Spot, a pure x/F site. From several reviews, I know that for many viewers the M/M scenes which are featured on Dreams Of Spanking are a downside because they are not interested in them. Still, the mixture obviously does not scare away too many people and did not prevent the site from winning a democratic vote on an x/F site. Furthermore, Pandora has just published pictures from her latest M/M shoots and I'm looking forward to watching the final clips. Pandora's partner Tom, who is a heterosexual man, tops other guys in the clips. Ludwig just told me that he would be fine with doing a M/FM video for me as a top if I wanted it. And Donpascual, who already wrote about M/M spankings from a heterosexual man's view in a guest post, told me how naturally M/M spankings were handled at some of the kinky events he had attended, no matter which sexual preferences the play partners involved had. Kelley wrote about her liking of M/M and introduced a new M/M site featuring interesting formal scenarios, as I already mentioned above. Dana Kane has published a vote on M/M spankings and while M/M spankings of course don't cater to everybody's taste, it seems like she didn't get an overwhelming amount of "that's horrible because it is gay" comments so far.

(Preview picture for one of the new M/M clips on Dreams of Spanking featuring Thomas Cameron as the top. Picture courtesy of Dreams of Spanking.)

So, what's the conclusion? And what does this have to do with BDSM and adult consensual spanking in general, if anything? Well, Pixie recently answered the question whether she thinks that spankos will have to be closeted forever or whether our kink will one day be fully accepted by society on her blog. Pixie was rather cautious concerning the aspect of full acceptance. The conclusion of my post is that I fully agree with her.

Maybe it's because Ludwig, the university trained historian, and I have now been a couple for almost four years. Maybe I have become as pessimistic as he is on many of these issues. But the truth is, in my opinion there will always be a lot of stupid people out there. People who are scared by sexuality in general and everything that's different from the statistical norm and from their personal preferences in particular. People who are too dumb to distinguish between homosexuality and paedophilia. People who can not distinguish real violence and abuse from BDSM and consensual adult spanking. So, I don't think that our kink will ever be fully accepted. Heck, even in our spanking community, where one would expect people to be a little enlightened about such issues, there is effectively just as much prejudice and intolerance as in our society as a whole.

I am lucky because I live in a country where different sexual preferences are widely accepted. A country where I don't have to be afraid of prosecution because of my fetish. I have friends to whom I can talk openly about who I am, including my kink. I think that's all I can ask for. But full acceptance in society as a whole? I don't believe that this is ever going to happen.

Fifth Blogiversary

Today is my fifth blogiversary. The 25th of January 2008 was the day on which I launched this blog.

Five is a psychologically satisfying number, isn't it? It is the number of digits on each of our hands and feet. It is half of ten, another psychologically satisfying number and the basis of the decimal system. Somehow, five years feels like a "round" birthday, even though it is uneven. And it certainly is a long time. Even if you live to be seventy or eighty years old, five years is a significant part of your life.

Yesterday, I was cleaning up and rearranging some stuff in my home. I came across a couple of old diaries and started flipping through them. Those diaries are even older than the blog, and some of the things I read in there almost seem like the utterances of a different person. It is interesting to have such records. Memory is an often unreliable, sometimes deceptive device. It tends to flatter us, give us an impression of consistency. We tend to believe "I always was of the opinion that..." and "I always used to think that...". But sometimes when you look at what you wrote ten years ago, you realise that you really thought and felt quite differently back then, and that you have changed more than you remember.

I don't get quite the same feeling yet when I read my blog posts of five years ago, but there is a little hint of that. The Ludwig of 2008 is not so different that he almost seems like a different person, but there are differences. He was new to the blogging scene, obviously, so everything was quite an adventure. The exploration of his kink was very important, almost central, in his life at the time. He had made some kinky experiences already, but was surrounded by bloggers and spanking models who had done more and experienced more. He definitely felt like he had something to prove. Also, he was single, so it was kind of a lone wolf thing.

Today, all that is quite different. I am with Kaelah now, and while we met through kink and it continues to be an important part of our lives, our love is based on other, much more important things. While kink is still significant to me, it is much less significant than it was five years ago. I think less about it than I used to. I watch less spanking porn than I used to. And I don't feel like I have to prove anything through blogging or making videos. There are things I would still dearly love to do, but none where I feel that I have to do them in order to be happy in my kink. Actually, I shall be quite happy to retire from my public kinky life eventually.

But worry not, dear friends, we are not quite there yet. I still have some things I want to write about, some creative endeavours I want to engage in, and some loose ends I want to tie up. It might take another year, or more. There will at least be one more blogiversary.

In the meantime, this is number five. Have a nice day, you all, and keep on reading.

Freedom of Choice

A few days ago, I had a very strange dream. I was going to school again. The school didn't look anywhere like the real schools I went to, though, and I was still the person I am today with all my experiences and knowledge. But the strangest thing was the sports test which awaited me at that school. It consisted of a 15 strokes caning which one had to endure with a peeled rattan cane! Each stroke one took led to a better final mark.

Now, in a way one could say that this must be a dream scenario for me. An at least semi-consensual scene (one could of course refuse to take a single stroke and instead accept a bad mark), and not about punishment but about endurance and bravery. My mind didn't process the scenario like a kinky fantasy, though. Instead, it felt to me like a real vanilla incident. There was no real action in this dream, either. I just saw the cane lying there and contemplated what to do.

I wasn't always good at sports, even though I tried very hard. So, my first thought was of course that I had to take all 15 strokes in order to get a good mark. Besides, I had done much more challenging 50 stroke canings. And I couldn't let my vanilla classmates beat me in my very personal discipline, in my personal lifestyle. The first strokes couldn't be so severe, anyway, I thought - after all, they had to assume that the recipients had never been caned before.

Despite of all these motivating thoughts, however, I was scared. This was nothing I really wanted to do. I had to do it in order to avoid a bad mark and the feeling of having screwed it all up. Theoretically I had a choice, but not accepting the caning would have had negative consequences. I knew that I would do it because the consequences of not doing it seemed worse than the potential negative experience which the caning could bring. I also knew that I might not stop it, even if the experience should turn out worse than I thought. Because giving in would have made me feel worse than pushing myself through the negative experience. Knowing that I might not respect my limits because of the pressure that was put upon me from my environment and, even more, the pressure I put on myself made the situation even more scary.

Of course my dream wasn't realistic at all, but it reminded me of some situations which we can come across in the kinky community where the question of whether one is really giving one's free consent is more complex than it might look like at first sight. Situations in which we theoretically have the freedom of choice, but social or personal pressure does make saying no difficult because there might be negative consequences with that decision.

Let me just mention a few examples to illustrate what I am talking about. Probably the most common situation is when someone is asked to play at a spanking party, but doesn't really want to, for instance because of having played so much already and being tired or maybe because he or she doesn't feel completely comfortable with the person who is asking or with the kind of play that person prefers or maybe just because not being in the right mood for play right at that moment. How easy is it to say no in such a situation? Especially if the person in question isn't any kind of weirdo, but maybe a very nice person whom one likes on a personal level and whom it has taken a lot of courage to ask that question.

Or how about a play situation in a group of friends, during which one of them suddenly realizes that this isn't going in the right direction and starts feeling bad while the others seem to be enjoying the scene a lot. Adele once wrote about that topic in the context of using safewords. Who would really plug up the courage to safeword in such a situation and potentially ruin the scene for their friends? Joining a spontaneous scene at a party and suddenly realizing that a person one doesn't want to play with is joining in as well could be another critical situation.

Situations like that can not only occur at parties or during scenes with friends, though. They can also happen in relationships. The situation one can most easily think of is when one partner is in the mood for kinky play and the other is not. Or when one partner realizes during a scene that he or she doesn't feel good with how the scene turns out. There is another example, though, about which I have been thinking for quite a while now. I am planning to discuss the following example in more detail in a separate post one day, but I want to give it a short mention here because in my opinion it fits very well.

When I read M/F domestic discipline blogs, what strikes me is that it often seems to be the women who come up with the idea of establishing a head of household. They often seem to be the ones who tell their husbands that they need a strong leader and want them to take over. Now, Ludwig has been in the role of a mentor with a kinky friend once for only about half a year and he told me that having to be in control all the time was eating up all his energy after a while. Which fits to my observation that there are lots of complaints by women living in M/F domestic discipline relationships about their husbands not managing to keep up the role of the always-in-control head of household all the time and not being consistent and consequent in their behaviour. Now, my opinion is that no one can be a leader 24/7 without suffering from burn-out sooner or later. Still, many men seem to accept becoming the head of household at their wives' request, even though that position seems to cost them a lot of energy. The question that comes up then, is, how big is their freedom of choice here really? I mean, which husband who truly loves his wife would refuse to help her when she tells him that she needs him to take over (often in order to save their relationship)? Especially since many women in M/F domestic discipline relationships admit to losing their respect for their husbands when they don't act like the head of household, a role which in several people's opinion is a "natural" or maybe even "God-given" one. In my view, this puts a huge social pressure on men to accept this role, even if they wouldn't have chosen it on their own.

And last but not least, there is of course the professional spanking and film-making business. How about a model who absolutely isn't in the right mood for a certain scene at the day of a shoot? Or a professional spanker or spankee who has a session with a client and finds out that she (or he) absolutely doesn't feel comfortable with that client? At which point does one cancel a professional contract?

I guess one can think of many more possible examples. My dream was very realistic in one way. I am very scared of getting into a situation kink-wise where I don't really feel up to a certain kind of play or experience, but can't easily say no. That's why I, for instance, generally inform people in advance that I usually don't play with anyone except Ludwig at parties. That way I can take my time without disappointing anyone's expectations. And on the rare occasions where I am in the mood for a group play, I can still join in later if the others are okay with that. The fear of having to do something kink-related which isn't my cup of tea or without being in the right mood also affects my video-making. It is one of the reasons why I could never become a paid spanking model and why it is very important for me to talk about all scenes and limits in advance on the rare occasions in which I participate in making planned spanking clips that are more than just private fun clips featuring Ludwig and myself only.

How about you? Is freedom of choice as important for you as it is for me when it comes to spanking and kinky experiences? And have you been in a situation where it was difficult for you to say no? I am curious to hear about your opinions and experiences!

Girls Will Be Boys (Part 3)

This is the third and final part of Kate and Nancy's adventure at the St Patrick's school for boys. When breaking into the school for a secret meeting in preparation of a surprise graduation party with their male fellow students, the two young women got caught by the new teacher Mr Lugner, as you can read in part 1 of the story. To avoid being reported to their old Headmistress Mrs Decker, they agreed to settle the issue the St Patrick's way, which resulted in their very first caning at the hands of Mr Lugner, which is described in detail in part 2. So let's get back to our heroines who have finally made it through their punishment.

"With that, the incident is forgiven and forgotten", Mr Lugner concluded. And after a short look at his watch he added: "It's 11.30 pm. You better get into bed as quickly as possible. Are you ready or do you need some more time to compose yourselves?" "I'm ready", Kate replied. Nancy slowly stood up from the sofa stool. She was still a bit shaky, but already feeling much better than a few minutes before. "I'm ready, too, Sir."

"Alright then. I will let you out at the side entrance. I don't want you to climb any slippery stairs again." With that Mr Lugner opened the office door and Kate and Nancy stepped out into the dark corridor. "Did you close the window through which you came in?" Mr Lugner asked. The reply was a simultaneous nod. The young teacher switched off the light in the office and closed the door behind him. Again the two students followed him through the empty hallways, this time without pounding hearts and dry throats, but with glowing bottoms instead.

They had almost reached the entrance when Kate caught up with Mr Lugner. He looked over to her. "Excuse me, Sir", began Kate, "may I ask you for a favour, please? Could you...", she hesitated for a moment, "...would you please not tell anyone about the surprise party?" The teacher unlocked the door and answered smilingly: "My lips are sealed." - "Thank you, Sir", Kate was relieved. - "I assume you know a way to get back into your dormitory?" Mr Lugner asked. The two young women who were already standing outside looked at each other. Then Nancy replied with a shy smile: "Yes, Sir."

"Alright then", Mr Lugner nodded. "Oh, one more thing. I guess you know ' Mission Impossible', right? Should you get caught when returning to St Claire's..." - "Our lips are of course sealed", Kate answered with a sheepish grin. The teacher raised an eyebrow and gave her a stern look, but a little twitching in the corner of his mouth showed his amusement. "Off you go", he shooed the two students, "and no dangerous climbing!" Mr Lugner didn't get any reply. Nancy and Kate had already disappeared into the shadows of the night.

The young teacher locked the door and started his way to the dormitories. It was time for his final round before he would go to sleep. He smirked while walking through the silent corridors, thinking about the very unusual incident which had happened today. Two smart and very polite young ladies indeed. It was no surprise that the boys had chosen them for the party planning team.

He still remembered his own graduation party five years ago very well. He had been part of the party committee, too. The preparations had cost them several sleepless nights as well. The memories made him smile. All the work had definitely paid off, though. Not only did their fellow graduate students enjoy the party, several teachers told them afterwards that it had been the best party in years. That had made them all very proud.

Their party had been a St Patrick's only event, though. He was looking forward to the joint surprise party the graduate students seemed to be planning this year. It would surely be great. Mr Stewart, St Patrick's headmaster definitely wouldn't have any problems with a joint party. He wasn't so sure about the old dragon … Headmistress Decker, he quickly corrected himself, though. Would she throw one of her famous tantrums? If she did, Mr Stewart would certainly find a way to calm her down again. That was one of his special abilities. With these thoughts, Mr Lugner reached the hallway that led to the boys' dormitories. Everything was quiet as usual. It seemed that his round wouldn't take him long.

Meanwhile, Kate and Nancy had reached St Claire's. Without speaking a word, they went to a small entrance which led directly to the side wing where the dormitories were located. They were lucky - it was still open as they had left it. Quietly they sneaked in and Nancy cautiously closed the door behind them. Now they only had to make it to their room on the third floor without getting caught. They put off their shoes and continued their way on their socks. Almost without making any noise, they climbed the dark stairs. They had nearly made it to the second floor when the lights in the stairway were suddenly switched on.

In shock, they looked at each other. They had nowhere to hide. Kate put a finger on her lips, signalling Nancy to be quiet. They heard footsteps. Someone was coming up the stairs from the ground floor. On the first floor the person stopped. Kate and Nancy held their breath. Then they heard the door to the corridor being pushed open and the footsteps continued, moving away from them. The door closed and a short while later the lights switched off again. The two students climbed the rest of the stairs as quickly as possible and cautiously opened the door to the hallway. It was dark and seemed to be empty. Without making a sound, they closed the door to the stairway behind them and continued their path through the corridor. Fortunately, their dormitory was only a few steps from the stairway. They reached it within seconds, opened the door and sneaked in. It was only when they had closed the door behind them that they both breathed out in relief. What good fortune that the students at St Claire's were assigned double rooms in their final year and that Kate and Nancy shared one of those. So they didn't have to worry about waking anyone up.

"Quick. I'm sure that it was Mrs Appleby in the stairway. She is on her night inspection and will soon be here", whispered Nancy. Without switching on the light they both undressed. The moon was shining through the window, allowing them to orient themselves. Nancy winced when she pulled down her trousers too quickly, having forgotten about her sore behind. They quickly threw their clothes into a box which they then hid deeply in their wardrobe where nobody would easily find it. Then they put on their nightgowns. They grabbed the cushions which they had put underneath the duvets of their beds to make it look like they were sleeping and threw them back on the sofa. Finally they jumped into their beds. This time it was Kate who forgot about the stripes on her bottom and let out a little yelp when her backside connected with the hard mattress.

Only a few seconds later they heard the stairway door open. Nancy and Kate closed their eyes and pretended to sleep. Footsteps passed by their door and continued down the hallway. From the sound, Nancy was sure that it was indeed Mrs Appleby who took care of the nightly routine this time. About two minutes later, the footsteps returned. The two students could hear the door to the dormitory next to theirs opening and closing again. The footsteps came closer, but for the second time they passed their door. The stairway door opened and closed again after a few seconds. They were surrounded by silence. Still, Nancy and Kate waited one more minute without moving to make sure that Mrs Appleby really didn't come back.

Then Nancy switched the light on. They both sat up in their beds and looked at each other. After several seconds, Kate broke the silence. "I can't believe what has happened today", she whispered, "maybe it was just a dream?" "I wouldn't have expected that we would managed to get caned at school, and five weeks before our graduation", said Nancy, "we two of all people!" - "Yeah, Miss Goody Two Shoes and Miss Eager Beaver", Kate hadn't even finished the sentence completely, when they both broke into giggles.

"Are you okay?" asked Kate. Nancy nodded: "It's not so bad, it only hurts when I forget about my sore bottom." - "I want to know how it looks like!" With that, Kate jumped out of bed, went over to the large mirror which was standing in the corner of the room and pulled down her pyjama trousers and her panties. Nancy followed her. Together they looked at the dark red stripes that were all over Kate's bottom. Kate cautiously touched her rear end with her fingertips. "I can really feel the welts", she exclaimed. They had hardly been able to believe that when the boys had told them about it earlier.

"Wait a moment", said Nancy and went over to their desk. She took something out of a drawer. Kate looked at her questioningly. When Nancy came back, Kate started giggling again. "No, Nancy! You can't do that!" she protested. Nancy grinned: "Of course. Hey, no one will ever believe us without a proof." With that, she activated the photo camera and made a snap shot of Kate's striped behind. Kate took the camera from her hand and pulled up her pants. "But then I make a picture of your bum, too." Nancy bared her behind and Kate pressed the camera button, still giggling. Nancy admired her striped bottom in the mirror and ran her fingertips over the chastised flesh like Kate had done before. "We have to make sure that nobody finds these pictures", Kate warned. "Don't worry." With that Nancy readjusted her clothes, took the camera and put it back where it belonged. "We better make sure that no one sees our sore behinds, either", Kate added.

They both went back into their beds, but they still left the light on. Kate had a thoughtful expression on her face. "I think I begin to get it, you know?" she said. "What the guys said about the code at St Patrick's, I mean. I never understood why they, for instance, insisted on not lying, not even to the teachers. I couldn't get why someone would voluntarily admit to some misdeed, especially since the punishment regime at St Patrick's is rather harsh. But now... I mean, did you notice how Mr Lugner treated us? No hours of lecturing, no belittling, no yelling."

"Yeah, and most importantly, he believed us!" added Nancy, "no mistrust and no allegations. That's totally different from the atmosphere around here. Last week, for instance, I helped Mrs Sanders with her exam preparations class for the first year girls. Little Stacy Smith was five minutes late. Mrs Sanders almost jumped at her. She was so furious, the poor little girl didn't dare saying a word. Stacy was sent to the corner and stood the for fifteen minutes, crying the whole time. Afterwards I had the chance to ask her why she was late and it turned out that Mrs Appleby had asked her to accompany Clara Summers to the school nurse because she was feeling sick. Being yelled at and getting fifteen minutes corner time for accompanying a friend to the school nurse! Can you imagine that? I'm sure things like that don't happen at St Patrick's."

Kate nodded and added: "And even if you do something wrong and admit to it, everything is forgiven and forgotten after the punishment. But fortunately, we have a few good teachers here at St Claire's, too. Mrs Appleby, for example and Ms Thomas." - "Yes, and Mrs Baker", Nancy said, "you are right, fortunately not all of our teachers are like Mrs Sanders and the old dragon." - "Since you mention her, I'm curious to see how the old dragon will react to our surprise party. I hope she doesn't ruin it all. And what about the preparations now?" Kate looked at Nancy expectantly. - "I think we should meet during the official visiting times on Saturday", Nancy suggested, "I'm sure we will find a quiet place where nobody will disturb our meeting." - "Sounds good", Kate agreed, "certainly better than breaking into school grounds at night." Both young women smiled at each other, knowingly.

"Maybe we will also see Mr Lugner again on Saturday. Or at the party the latest", Kate continued. It sounded casual, but Nancy sensed that the words contained a special meaning. Kate's voice and her body language had something unfamiliar, something she had never come across before. "Wait a moment, you have fallen in love, haven't you!?" Kate's face turned almost as red as her glowing bottom. "He is very handsome, isn't he? And, I mean, he is an adult. And I am an adult, too. We won't be students any more in just five weeks. And he is just a few years older than me", she defended herself. - "Hey, don't worry. It's okay. I just haven't ever seen you in love",  Nancy tried to calm Kate down. She added: "We can ask the guys on Saturday whether he is indeed still available." - "But don't tell them!" Kate looked scared. Nancy shook her head: "Of course not!"

She didn't manage to be serious for too long, though: "Hey, when the two of you become a couple and you are studying Maths at the university, he can help you with your studies. And if you don't work hard enough, he can motivate you with a nice caning." Kate determinedly shook her head. "That's so not going to happen!" But then a sheepish grin appeared on her face: "I would like to know how his cute firm bottom looks with some nice stripes, though. Or without." - Nancy slowly shook her head and replied in the most reprehensive tone of voice she could master: "You know I really like you, Kate Pine, but I have to tell you that you are a very sick girl indeed." For a second they looked at each other in silence and then they both cracked up laughing. When they had calmed down, Kate said: "I think it's really time to get some rest. Good night." She switched off the light. Nancy yawned: "Good night, sweety. Have a nice dream!"

Girls Will Be Boys (Part 2)

This is part 2 of a fictional spanking story I came up with when talking with Ludwig about kinky fantasies on the phone. You can find part 1 here. The story seems to be getting a bit longer than planned, so I have decided to tell you about the aftermath in a separate third part. This part is about Kate's and Nancy's canings at the hand of Mr Lugner.

It should go without saying, but I think one can't underline that often enough: This is just a fantasy for an erotic role-play between consenting adults! I don't condone any form of corporal punishment of minors in any form, or of adults who haven't given their informed consent.

With that being made clear, let's get back to our two young heroines and the handsome teacher Mr Lugner. When we left them the last time, the very first cane stroke had just landed on Kate's bottom.
 

"Onethankyousir!" Kate had remembered the stories she had heard about canings which said that it took about a second after a stroke had landed for the pain to set in. So, she had decided to count the stroke as quickly as possible before the pain might take her breath away. Nancy watched as her friend's body was thrust forward by the impact of the stroke. She was surprised by Kate's quick counting and how well she seemed to take the caning. But then Kate opened her eyes and Nancy could see them getting wider and wider. Kate's hands desperately clutched the far end of the table and her face was a grimace of pain.
 

"Oh shit!" The words escaped Kate's lips as the pain reached its peak. She was slowly regaining her composure again when she suddenly heard Mr Lugner stating calmly: "I won't have that kind of language. That's one extra stroke, I'm afraid." - "But, that's … I … you … can't…" Kate protested frantically, looking back at the young teacher. "I'm sorry, answering back isn't acceptable, either. That's another additional stroke, I fear", Mr Lugner's voice was warm and sympathetic, but determined. Kate opened her mouth to say something again, but thought better of it. Nancy felt tempted to help her friend. But she realised there was nothing she could do.

Mr Lugner came over to her and began to take aim, like he had done on Kate's bottom a minute ago. Nancy was shaking slightly and her mouth had become dry. Maybe a bit of drama with the old dragon and missing out on the cinema afternoon wouldn't have been so bad after all? It was too late for those kinds of second thoughts, though. Nancy heard the cane hit target and felt a dull sensation on her bottom. That doesn't feel so bad, she thought. A moment later, however, the stripe started burning, and the pain continued building with every second, taking her breath away. She let out a small yelp which somehow helped her breathe and cope with the pain. It took her a while until she was able to count the stroke. But finally she managed to press out a: "One. Thank you, Sir!"

When Mr Lugner returned to Kate, she was panicked. What if she didn't manage to take a stroke without cursing or doing something else that was forbidden? What if she earned herself one additional stroke after the other? What if it never ended? The teacher didn't give her much time to think. He took aim and administered the stroke with a similar force as the first one. Kate pressed herself into the desk, and when the wave of pain started building she tried to ride it like a surfer. No talking, no talking, no talking! She repeated the mantra in her head over and over again. Unfortunately, she also stopped breathing, and so she ended up panting as the pain slowly lessened, allowing her to recover. She took her time before counting and only spoke up when she had gained enough control again to say in a clear voice: "Two. Thank you Sir!"

Mr Lugner slowly alternated between the two young women, carefully taking aim, duly executing each stroke and calmly waiting for it to be counted correctly before moving on. Nancy wondered whether he was deliberately taking his time, maybe to prolong their punishment and generate a longer-lasting impression. For her, every stroke was more difficult to take than the previous one and her cries were increasing in volume. Kate on the other hand slowly found her rhythm. She fixed a certain spot on the wall with her eyes and grabbed the far end of the table as tightly as possible every time Mr Lugner took aim. Then she tried to make it through the wave of pain with gritted teeth. Just when she thought she couldn't take it any more, the pain usually ebbed and she could finally relax her shoulders and breathe again.

Mr Lugner observed the two women and their reactions very carefully. When he had become a teacher at St Patrick's six weeks ago, Headmaster Stewart had explained his educational and his CP approach as well as the teacher's role when administering punishments in great detail. "You are responsible for your students' well-being. It is our aim to make our students take responsibility for their actions. A punishment is supposed to make a lasting impression. But it is not our goal to break our students and turn them into fearful subordinates who blindly follow orders", Mr Stewart had told him. That was what St Patrick's was all about – discipline, responsibility and growth.

Which was why he had decided to cane the two young ladies together and not one after the other. He knew that the cane could turn even a strong lad into a hyperventilating, blubbering mess if applied severely and without any breaks to regain composure. His aim wasn't breaking the two women, though, only making a lasting impression. The young teacher also recognised that the two women reacted very differently to the ongoing caning. One seemed to have gotten into a flow, being able to deal a bit more easily with each new stroke. That allowed him to slowly increase the intensity of the caning in order to keep her on her toes. The other young woman seemed to loose more and more energy with each stroke. After six strokes her whole body and especially her legs were visibly shaking and she could hardly count the strokes any more. So, he decreased the severity of the strokes a bit to a level that seemed to be right at her personal limit.

Kate felt more confident after each stroke whereas Nancy only started to believe that she could take the whole dozen after stroke number ten. About a minute later, she muttered a relieved: "Twelve. Thank you Sir!" - "You may stand up now", said the young teacher, his voice sounding almost soft now. Nancy tried to get up, but she realised that her legs could hardly support her. She was feeling very shaky and suddenly a bit dizzy as well. Mr Lugner took her by the arm and carefully led her to a sofa stool which was standing in one corner of the room. Despite of the soft padding, Nancy winced when her sore bottom made contact with the seat. As she let herself sink back into the cool leather, she realised for the first time that there was cold sweat on her forehead and on her back as well.

Mr Lugner went back to the desk where Kate was still bent-over, waiting. "Two more additional strokes", he announced and warned: "Those will be more severe than the previous ones." Kate's head flipped around. "But…" She immediately bit her lip. Nancy, who was watching carefully, believed she saw a tiny amused smile on the teacher's face. "What did you want to say?" he asked. - "Nothing. I'm sorry, Sir." - "I would like to hear what you have to say. You are allowed to speak up." Kate hesitated for a moment. "It's just … I thought the previous strokes already had been severe, Sir", she finally said in a very small voice. This time Nancy was sure that Mr Lugner was smiling.
 

"I'm afraid those were medium at most. The cane is capable of a much higher level of severity. Which you might find out if I catch you again on school grounds at night." He did not sound as if he genuinely believed that this was going to happen. "Prepare yourself." - With that, the young teacher began to tap the cane against Kate's bottom again. A sharp swish followed and with a loud crack the cane landed on Kate's behind. Kate felt an intense pain exploding across her backside as her body was thrust forward. The sensation was still a burning one which took her breath away and made her hiss sharply through gritted teeth and throw her head back in pain. Somehow she managed to stay on top, though, and finally she was able to count.

Then the last stroke followed. It was the hardest. Kate grabbed the edge of the table so firmly that Nancy could see the white of her knuckles. This time Kate pressed her face into her arm to muffle the outcry which escaped her lips as the pain built up inside her. For a while she lay across the table, panting and trying to regain her composure and her breath. "Four … teen. … Thank … you, … Sir", Kate spoke in between deep breaths. Mr Lugner allowed her to take her time and quietly put the cane back in its place on the rack. When he returned, Kate's breathing had slowed down. "You may stand up now as well", the teacher said, his voice again having that warm undertone. Kate pushed herself up and smoothed out her clothes. [To be continued...]

Girls Will Be Boys (Part 1)

Ludwig and I had a wonderful chat about kinky fantasies yesterday on the phone. And so I decided to present one of the fantasies I came up with as a spanking story. This is only the second fictional spanking story I have ever written, after The Reunion Part 1 and Part 2. Again the story will be in two parts. I hope you like it! I managed to sneak in a catch phrase from one of my favourite British comedy series. Does anyone spot it?

He turned around the corner and continued his path down a long, dark corridor. Suddenly, he became aware of two figures who quietly and very quickly walked down the hallway in front of him. It was around 10.45 pm and the boys were supposed to be in their dormitories, not in this part of the school building. "Wait, you two!" His call reached them when the two had almost made it to the next corner. They stopped and he caught up with them. When he came closer, he could make out the school uniforms the two were wearing. So, they were indeed two of his students. He still couldn't see who they were, though, since they stood with their backs to him, whispering to each other. "Turn around, boys", he demanded when he had finally reached them. Both hesitated for a moment, but then slowly did as they had been told.

They had already been sure that they had successfully mastered the most critical parts on their journey when they suddenly heard footsteps and saw someone turning around the corner only a few seconds later. They quickened their steps, making sure to stay as close to the dark wall across from the windows as possible. They had almost reached the safety of the next corner when a sharp call made them both freeze. For a moment they thought about running, but that wouldn't have worked out anyway. So instead, they discussed what to do, while the steps behind them were quickly coming closer. Neither of them had a good idea, though, and so they finally simply followed the order to turn around and face their captor.

He raised his eyebrow and let out a surprised hiss when he realised that the slim figures in front of him were actually two young women, who were wearing clothes which very much resembled the school uniform of the St Patrick's school for boys and had pinned up their hair. Kate and Nancy didn't know what to say or do. Their gazes alternated between the young man who was now mustering them, each other and the floor. They both hadn't seen their captor before, but Kate figured quickly that this must be Mr Lugner, the young maths teacher who had only joined St Patrick's a couple of weeks ago.
 

"What are you doing here, and at such a late time?" Mr Lugner had found his voice again. The young women looked at each other, unsure what to say. Nancy finally spoke up. "We are here to plan the graduation party, Sir", she replied truthfully. "At 10.45 pm, disguised as boys? Why don't you plan that party during the normal visiting times?" Mr Lugner sounded strict but very calm. "Because it is going to be a big surprise party", answered Nancy. "We won't tell you with whom we were going to meet, though", Kate added quickly. Under no circumstances would they get their friends into trouble. Mr Lugner didn't respond to the last comment. Instead he asked: "How did you get in?" Again the young women exchanged looks and then Nancy answered: "We climbed the fire escape stairs and came in through an open window." Kate pointed out the direction through a corridor window. Mr Lugner's gaze became even stricter. "It's wet and the stairs are very slippery. You could have slipped and injured yourselves!" Kate thought that he sounded genuinely worried.

"Come with me, ladies." The sudden order given in a sharp but still calm voice made both young women wince. But they didn't see the use of arguing and so they silently followed the teacher through the empty, dark hallways which were only illuminated by the moonlight falling through the windows. After what felt like an eternity, at least for Kate and Nancy, the little unorthodox procession came to a sudden halt in front of a high oak door. Mr Lugner opened the door and turned on the light. The tag next to the door identified the room as "Office Mr Lugner" which confirmed Kate's assumption about the teacher's identity.

Mr Lugner beckoned the young women to follow him into the room. He closed the door behind them. Then he went to sit behind the heavy oak desk that dominated the room while Kate and Nancy were looking a bit lost as they were standing in front of the desk, quickly glancing around the room, then at each other and finally at Mr Lugner. "You are students from St Claire's, I take it?" Kate and Nancy bit their lips, images of what was about to happen forming before their mind's eye. In a minute, Mr Lugner would call Mrs Decker, St Claire's old headmistress. They would be sent back to St Claire's where a furious Mrs Decker and hours of drama would await them. But it didn't make any sense to deny were they belonged. Mr Lugner would easily be able to find out who they were, and denying it would only add to their troubles. So they both nodded silently.

Mr Lugner looked out of the window for a moment, contemplating the situation. "We have two possible ways of handling this incident, I think", he then said, calmly looking at Kate and Nancy. "Breaking into the school at night is a misdemeanour that can not go unpunished, as I am sure you will agree. So, I can either call your headmistress, what's her name … Mrs Decker, is it not?" Without waiting for an answer, he continued: "Or, we can deal with the matter right here and now, the way we handle these things here at St Patrick's." After a brief pause, he added: "I leave the decision to you, young ladies." Kate and Nancy stared at him, both trying to process their situation and the choice they had just been given. "Can we discuss that for a moment, Sir?" Nancy asked. "Yes, you may. Tell me when you have made up your minds." And with that, Mr Lugner turned to some papers on his desk.

Kate dragged Nancy to the far corner of the room. "What are we going to do now?" she whispered. Her voice was fearful. "Do you really want the old dragon to find out about this?" asked Kate. Old dragon was the name the girls at St Claire's used to refer to Mrs Decker, as long as she was not within earshot, of course. Imitating Mrs Decker's tone of voice Kate continued: "You girls are a disgrace! You don't have a spark of decency! All you can think of are boys, you filthy little things!" In her own voice she asked: "Do you really want that?" - "No," sighed Nancy, "and besides, I already have two demerits this month which means that I would be grounded next weekend and miss out on our big cinema afternoon." - "And I'm sure she would claim that we came here to do titillating things with the boys, as she would call it. Chances are good that she might even call our parents", Kate violently shook her head. - "Yeah, forget about war, poverty, crime, selfishness. That's a normal part of our society. But women consensually having sex with men? And maybe even enjoying it? That's the demise of the Western civilization", Nancy rolled her eyes.

"So, what then?" Kate asked. "Do we let Mr Lugner deal with the matter?" - "What do you think he meant when he said the way they handle things at St Patrick's? I mean, he can't treat us like his male students, can he?" Nancy gave Kate a questioning look. "I think that's what he meant", Kate replied after a moment, "and my gut feeling tells me that he is serious about it." They both looked over their shoulders to Mr Lugner who was still focussed on his documents. "What do you think he will do with us?" Nancy asked, her voice sounding very worried now. "Hmm", Kate stared on the floor, thinking, "I assume the same thing he would do with two of his students who left the school without permission." - "And what do you think is that?" - "From the things the guys have told us, I would assume that he...", Kate hesitated. - "What!?" - "...that he is going to cane us." Now Kate had said it.

Nancy looked at her in disbelief. For a moment there was silence. Only Mr Lugner's papers made little rustling sounds. "I've never been caned", Nancy's voice was a barely audible whisper now. "Me neither", Kate said, and with a forced tiny smile she added, "maybe it's not much worse than the ruler?" Nancy shook her head and Kate had to admit to herself that she didn't believe it, either. The guys had told them about the strict corporal punishment regime at St Patrick's, and they had even described how awful a caning felt like. "Haven't you?" Kate asked, "I mean, hasn't Bill once shown you … his cane marks?" Nancy gulped and nodded silently. She didn't have to give Kate any description, the look on her face said everything.

"So, what are we supposed to do?" Kate asked. "At least it is over within a few minutes", was Nancy's reply. Kate took a deep breath. "Okay, so we let him deal with it?" she asked. - "If that means that he really doesn't tell Mrs Decker." - Kate sighed and nodded. She quickly glanced over her shoulder to Mr Lugner and then looked back at Nancy. A small grin suddenly appeared on her face. "I know that this isn't the right time and place", she began, "but don't you think that Mr Lugner is pretty handsome?" Nancy snorted and shook her head disapprovingly. "This indeed isn't the right time and place, Ms Pine", she scolded. But then a small grin appeared on her face as well.

With one more deep breath the two young women turned around and went back to Mr Lugner's desk. "Excuse me, Sir", began Kate. Now there was no way back. The teacher put his documents aside and looked at them expectantly. "Now?" - "Mr Lugner, if you deal with us, does that mean you won't tell our headmistress?" asked Kate. "That is correct." Kate threw one last quick glance in Nancy's direction. "Then we would like to ask you to handle the situation the way you do here at St Patrick's." It had been said.

"Okay then, young ladies." Mr Lugner calmly and slowly stood up from his chair. "Do you know the procedures?" Kate and Nancy looked at each other. "No, Sir", replied Nancy, "the only thing we know is that Mr Stewart is an avid advocate of corporal punishment." Mr Stewart was the headmaster at St Patrick's, a quiet and friendly but also very strict man in his late fifties.

"I see", said Mr Lugner, "I'll explain it to you then. Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once." Mr Lugner put his hands behind his back and started walking slowly back and forth behind his desk. "Leaving your own school after curfew and breaking into school grounds are serious offences. You are going to receive twelve cane strokes each. The punishment follows a strict protocol. You will fetch the cane on my request and both bend over the table. You won't leave that position until you have my explicit permission. Not keeping the position during punishment will result in additional strokes. You can grip the far end of the desk in order to better keep yourselves in position. You will count each stroke and thank me. No talking other than that. Do you understand everything?"

At first, neither of the two young women replied. They both looked at the teacher with widened eyes. Twelve strokes? That was a lot worse than they had expected. The teacher just looked at them and waited. And finally, he heard a meek "Yes, Sir" from both of them. "Then let's get this over with." Mr Lugner looked into Nancy's direction. "If you would fetch the cane, please." Nancy looked around somewhat confusedly and the teacher pointed her in the right direction. On taking a closer look, Nancy realised for the first time that there was a rack on the wall beside her which held crooked-handled canes of different sizes. "Excuse me, Mr Lugner, which one am I supposed to fetch?" she asked when she reached the rack. "The second one from the top", was the reply. Kate, who was watching the scene, gulped nervously. The second cane from the top was the second heaviest one. Mr Lugner had been serious about handling this the way they do it at St Patrick's.

Carefully, Nancy took the cane from the rack. Her hands shook so much, though, that she nearly knocked down the biggest cane from the top of the rack in the process. When she held the cane in both hands, almost like a precious item, she realised that it was much more flexible than she had expected given its heaviness and diameter. She turned around, her eyes firmly fixed on the cane, and went back to the desk. Mr Lugner had come around the desk and was already awaiting her. Kate's gaze was fixed on the cane as well. Nancy offered the cane to the teacher. Pictures of historical scenes in which swords were ritually presented to knights popped up in Kate's mind.

Mr Lugner took the cane from Nancy's hands. He made a step aside. "If you would bend over the desk, please, next to each other, two feet space between." Kate and Nancy silently followed the order. At least it seemed like they wouldn't be caned one after another but both at the same time. Kate firmly grabbed the far end of the table and Nancy followed her example. From the corner of her eye she could see Mr Lugner standing behind them, flexing the cane in his hands.

He then positioned himself left from Kate. The teacher tapped the cane a few times against the young woman's trousers, taking aim. For an instant, Kate thought back to how they had donned the trousers before they went out, disguising themselves. She closed her eyes while Nancy watched with horror. Now it was really about to happen.

Suddenly, everything went very quickly. Mr Lugner drew back the cane and the young women heard a sharp swishing sound followed by a loud crack as the cane met Kate's bottom. [To be continued...]

Happy New Year 2013!

I would like to wish all of you readers a happy new year. I hope that it will be a contented, successful and healthy year for you - and that some spanking adventures will be in store for you as well! Kaelah and I had a good transition into 2013, having spent the Christmas holidays and New Year's Eve together. Now we are in our separate parts of Germany again.

For some people, this is the time to talk about their new year resolutions. Back in 2009, I actually made some spanking-related new year resolutions as well and wrote about them here on the blog: the five kinky things I wanted to achieve that year were attending my first spanking party in the UK, trying out at least two new CP implements (one actively, one passively), adding at least one more nationality to my list of spanking "victims", making more spanking videos than the previous year and reviewing more spanking videos and websites than the previous year. I ended up meeting the first three goals and missing the last two.

For 2013, I am not going to make any spanking-related new year resolutions. As Kaelah pointed out several times in her recent posts, the last months have been pretty stressful for both of us, and more changes lie ahead. I really don't feel like adding yet more stress by setting out goals and deadlines in my kink, a part of my life that is supposed to be recreational and fun. I have made many spanking videos and spanked quite a few different "victims" over the past four years, I don't feel like I have to prove what a big badass top I am anymore. Actually, I would be perfectly happy to never spank (and be spanked by) anyone but Kaelah for the rest of my life.

Blogging-wise, 2012 has been a great year with a record 94 posts, even though I only wrote a handful of them. Most of the posts were by Kaelah. Over the last few years, as I have drifted out of blogging, Kaelah has gotten more and more into it, and with her being such a good writer and readers liking her stuff as much as they do, it's easy to be lazy and sit back and just let her take care of it all. I have tried to get back into blogging more regularly a few times, but it hasn't worked out so far - sometimes, the inspiration is there, but not the time, and then when the time is there, the inspiration is lacking. On the last attempt in autumn last year, I tried to get back via resuming my movie reviews, but then I did not have enough time to do that properly (a movie review takes longer than an ordinary post because you have to factor in the time to watch the movie once or twice, so instead of 45 minutes at the end of a day, you would need two and a half hours).

Frankly, I am getting sick of it, as you undoubtedly are as well. I think if I am going to start blogging regularly again at all, I have to stop setting specific goals or trying to plan in advance for specific kinds of posts. I just have to let inspiration take me where it wants to, when it arises and when I hopefully have the time as well. And I must not insist on writing something truly outstanding and excellent in order to "make up" for my absence, because that kind of self-applied pressure inhibits me.

So, I am going for a "wait and see, and catch the opportunity as soon as it presents itself" approach. I am not making any firm promises, except to say that I intend to write more posts this year than I did last year. I only wrote a measly six posts last year, and seven is definitely achievable without adding any undue pressure! So that is going to be the one blog-related new year resolution I am going to make.

Have you made any new year resolutions, spanking-related, blogging-related or otherwise? If you have and if you feel like sharing them, write a comment! But keep in mind that we all have enough duties and responsibilities in our lives as it is, and that kink is, more than anything, supposed to be fun.

A happy 2013, everyone!