Kaelah's Corner (Jun 2012): I Want It All

Erica Scott recently published a very thought-provoking post titled I'd rather fight than switch in which she explained why she has no desire whatsoever to make any topping experiences and why she doesn't subscribe to the idea that everyone has to switch at least once in order to be a good top or bottom. I absolutely agree with Erica on that matter. In my opinion, no one should be forced into any kind of play he or she isn't comfortable with. And I don't think that having experienced "the other side" is a necessary precondition for being a good top or bottom.

Especially concerning tops, this matter is discussed quite often, though. And while I agree with Erica that having experienced the bottom side isn't a necessary precondition for being able to read a bottom correctly, I also agree with Secret Spanko who stated in his recent post about switching that in his view, having experienced kinky play as a bottom can give tops additional insights.

A picture that had been brought up in Erica's post was that of a surgeon. Of course a surgeon doesn't have to undergo surgeries him- or herself in order to do a good job. But, as Secret Spanko rightfully added, having been to a hospital as a patient might give a surgeon additional insights on how that feels and which fears can be caused by the prospect of having to undergo surgery.

Which brings me to my personal kinky preferences. Now, first of all, I am a switch and I need both sides in order to feel balanced. Accordingly, it is very important for me that my mate Ludwig switches. And I generally prefer to play with switches, too. This isn't so much a precondition for topping someone, but it is almost a necessary precondition for me when I play as a bottom. The only person who has ever topped me and who, as far as I know, doesn't switch, was Thomas Cameron. With him it felt right, though, and I am going to explain to you why in a second.

First, let me say that one explanation for my preference for playing with switches are my personal kinky fantasies. You see, I am not so much into power exchanges based on age-differences, like in daddy-girl-scenarios. And I am not into permanent power imbalances. But still I want my spanker to have some kind of authority, preferably one that he or she has earned through experience. In my fantasy scenarios, the tops are often experienced trainers or instructors whose authority comes from the fact that they have worked their way through the ranks so that they are now able to hand down their experiences to the next generation who will then one day be in the role of trainers or instructors themselves. So, if a top has experienced the bottom side as well, that makes this person more attractive for me fantasy-wise.

When it comes to topping, I have to admit that topping a person who is predominantly a top has a special attraction for me as well. There are two reasons for that. One is that this allows for a "you can dish it out, so now I expect you to take you own medicine" premise for the spanking if that premise has some attraction for the switching top as well (it has for Ludwig). And secondly, giving him- or herself into my hands feels like an even greater gift of trust from someone who isn't predominantly into bottoming and for whom it might be even harder to submit him- or herself to another person.

This is about much more than kinky fantasies, though. This is about how I communicate and about what I need in order to feel safe and understood. I am a control freak. Submitting control isn't easy for me at all and it is nothing that I really seek out, except maybe with very close and trusted people. So, bottoming for someone most probably costs me more of an effort than it does for those for whom giving up control has a higher attraction or comes more naturally.

Therefore, I need the feeling of being understood in order to let go. And that doesn't just mean being interpreted and handled correctly. It means that I want the other person to know how I feel. I want the other person to be able to relate to my fears. And I want that person to have experienced something similar. That becomes especially important if anything doesn't work out so well during a scene. Then it helps me a lot to talk to someone afterwards who knows how that feels. That's why playing with switches is much more important for me when playing as a bottom than it is when I top another person. Because as a top, I don't feel vulnerable.

When I reflected on Erica's post, it occurred to me that this way of thinking for me is not only kink-related. It is how I tick, anyway. For example, if I experience somehing that makes me feel down, what helps me the most isn't a strong shoulder to cry on or someone who takes over and offers me a solution for the problem. No, what helps me the most is exchanging thoughts with people who have experienced similar situations and who can relate to my feelings.

I think what makes it even more difficult for me to give myself into the hands of pure tops in the spanking community is that for some people, being a top is a permanent role. I think that usually goes together with the desire for a permanent unidirectional power dynamic. I am not talking about those who simply are pure tops or bottoms like Erica here. I am talking about people for whom switches can't be "real" tops in a scene. That means for the bottoms concerned that they wouldn't want to be topped by a switch and for the tops concerned that they wouldn't ever switch (or tell anyone about it if they did) because they worry about losing their credibility as "real" tops. Don't get me wrong. If someone has a preference for playing with pure tops or bottoms, fine. But if that turns into a credibility problem and leads to people denying who they are, I find that strange.

In the comment thread of Secret Spanko's post, it was stated that the aforementioned problem occurs especially with female bottoms and male tops. And, truth to be told, if I have the slightest feeling that a top considers him- or herself only a "real" top if he or she doesn't switch or doesn't admit it, I don't want to play with that person. Because that attitude means that this person wouldn't take me seriously as a top, either, and that this person assumes that bottoming makes a person less of a leader. I don't want any of that leader – follower dynamic in my play. That's why I had no problem with being topped by Tom because he definitely hasn't got that attitude. But it is why I am generally much more comfortable with bottoming for switches than for pure tops. Of course, I wouldn't want to play with anyone who would only accept me as a play partner if I denied certain parts of myself, either.

For my relationship with Ludwig, switching is very important for both of us for many reasons. To begin with, the fact that Ludwig had made experiences as a switch was one of the reasons why I asked him to introduce me into the world of spanking in the first place. When he told me about the fears he himself had had before taking the plunge and trying spanking for real (he started out as a bottom, although he knew that he was a top, because he wanted to know how taking a spanking feels like before administering one to another person), that made me feel very well understood and safe.

Later on, when I did scenes with him that were close to the edge for me (like my first severe scene or like scenes as a bottom in front of a camera), that was partly only possible because I knew that Ludwig, being a control freak himself, had done the same things before me. And I knew that I could tell him about my fears and limits because he had similar ones when bottoming.

Of course, every person is different, and just because someone has played on the same side it doesn't mean that this person has made similar experiences. So, one shouldn't make the mistake of assuming that other bottoms have similar limits and preferences when playing as a top. For example, Ludwig had a much more positive mindset about severe canings than I had, and therefore managed to handle them much better than I handled my first one. But, he had made a different experience with a scene that went wrong for him as a bottom and which kept him from playing again for quite a while. So, that was the scene we talked about when he told me that he didn't want me to do anything I wasn't really comfortable with. And it was the experience of his that he kept in mind when he guided me through my experience.

Sharing topping experiences with Ludwig is similarly great. My first co-topping experience with the lovely Leia-Ann Woods enabled me to better understand some of the feelings which Ludwig had described when he had written about his topping experiences in front of a camera. It also helped me to understand how easily a spanking can get a bit too fast, because for the top, it can feel slower than for the bottom who has to process the pain. This enabled me to communicate more openly when bottoming. The feeling that Ludwig trusts me enough to give himself into my hands is wonderful as well. And co-topping Pandora with him was a great experience, too (I would love to do another co-topping scene with Ludwig in the future).

In conclusion, I don't believe that one must switch in order to become a good top or bottom. At the same time, I think it's complete bollocks when switches are considered to be lesser tops or bottoms and when people don't have the guts to admit who they are. I am a switch and I am very happy that with my mate Ludwig, I get the chance to experience both very different sides of the coin (or, rather, cane). And talking about switching, the next post will contain a long overdue F/M scene for you to watch. So, stay tuned!

The Golden Rule

(A typical caning scene at Lupus Pictures...)

In the discussion on my last post about Football and Masochism some very interesting topics came up which made me think again about tolerance and ethical behaviour. Both Ludwig and I subscribe to the view that there are indeed universal moral values which, as Ludwig explained, "can be derived from human reason according to our best understanding of our individual and collective needs. What that means in practice is another long, complex discussion, but in my view, the so-called 'golden rule' is a good starting point and will take us quite a long way: one should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself. And one should not treat others as one would not like others to treat oneself. Many philosophers have developed variations of this theme in different time periods and cultures, from Confucius to Kant."

Now, the golden rule might be a bit misguiding at first. For example, it doesn't mean that I can slap unsuspecting people on their bottoms just because I would find it funny if someone did that to me. One has to transfer the moral issue to a more abstract level at first. The question isn't: Am I okay with a stranger playfully slapping my bottom and can I therefore do the same to others? The question is: Am I okay with a stranger doing something to me that I don't expect, haven't agreed upon beforehand and maybe don't like, just because that person likes it? I guess the answer is simple.

Therefore my guideline for tolerance is the following: In my view, open-mindedness means accepting others as they are and letting them live as they want to, as long as their actions don't violate the health or freedom of others. If the latter is the case, limits have to be set and compromises have to be made. The problem: In my opinion many people aren't capable of distinguishing between personal preferences / limits / tastes and ethical values. Those people often use the former as a base for moral judgements, stating that those who don't have similar preferences or who do things that are beyond their personal limits are behaving immorally. Today I have come across a discussion of an age-old topic on Chross's message board which sadly again demonstrates this issue.

(...and the resulting marks.)

The original commenter mglfrps writes: "I enjoy spanking art, stories, photos very much. They are a big part of my erotic fantasies. However, I like them to be cute, naughty, clever, funny, sexy like the cartoon art of spankings in the Humorama magazines of the '50's and the Betty Page spanking images of that era, too. I detest the Lupus type of spanking images. I hate to see pretty girls' pretty bottoms covered with welts and perhaps about to bleed out. I may have some grudges against some women but I believe if you enjoy seeing the deep purple bruises and the blood red caning marks, you should seek psychiatric help very soon and do not act out on those fantasies, please." He later adds: "The most important point I am trying to make i [sic] that there is a broad spectrum in the world of BDSM. The most violent end of the spectrum scares me about who is enjoying depictions of rape and real torture and whether or not this is an outlet for those feelings or a stirring up of those feelings that will lead to real world horrors."

In another comment woronov adds: "I wholly share mglfrps tastes. In fact, I could have written his first post myself. Was mglfrps unduly judgemental? I'm not so sure. I was reminded of a joke by Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle: 'Yesterday I saw a YouTube video of Saddam Hussein's execution. Is there ANYTHING on the Internet I won't masturbate to?' Let's say you are turned on by the idea of killing and eating someone. Could you find a willing partner? Yes, you can. In fact, it happened (in Germany, as I recall) a few years ago. Both partners were consenting adults, but I can't help wondering whether, as he was being killed, the victim had second thoughts. Yes, maybe the idea of being eaten was extremely arousing for him, but at some point he must have realised that being alive is an essential part of enjoyment. People who desire to inflict extreme pain on someone else, whether that someone consents or not, could be in need of treatment."

I don't have to tell you that Ludwig is into severe canings and that he has worked as a top for Lupus Pictures as well as for Mood Pictures. He has also done similarly severe scenes as a bottom. I also don't have to tell you that I have been struggling with severe scenes and sometimes still do. For example, I would probably rather not watch the Lupus Pictures film from which I have taken the pictures for this post. But, at the same time, I have done two canings of the same severity myself, one as a private experiment in order to develop an informed opinion about the subject and one for Pandora's site Dreams of Spanking. Ludwig and I can both testify that there is no permanent harm done by those severe canings. That said, the scenes are definitely challenging, as I experienced during my first try. But if the participants know their personal limits, their possible reactions and how to respond to them, it is very safe and it can also be a very fulfilling experience. I haven't topped Ludwig for a similarly severe scene, yet, but we have already agreed on such a scene in the future.

(The scientific proof - severe BDSM play causes violence.)

Unfortunately, both commenters mentioned above obviously haven't taken the time to learn more about the topic which they are discussing and to develop an informed opinion. Let's try to put emotional reactions on the topic aside for a moment and see how far the golden rule takes us when looking at some of their arguments.

The first main argument against severe scenes which both commenters give is that severe marks don't suit their personal taste and that they don't want to see any stuff like that. So, the basic question is: Do I want to live in a world where it is a basic moral rule that people are prohibited to do and publish anything that doesn't suit another person's personal taste and makes that person feel uncomfortable? I guess I don't even have to give a serious answer to that question. Even if one uses the term "the majority" instead of "another person", that only means that the tastes of minorities would be oppressed by the taste of the majority. And, at least in many countries, that means goodbye kink (yes, even nice pink bottoms), homosexuality and so on. You get the same result when applying my rule for open-mindedness and ask: Does the depiction of severe canings between consenting adults violate the health or freedom of others? Again the answer is no, because one can easily turn away if one doesn't want to look at the pictures or watch the videos.

The second main argument is that both, the tops who dish out severe canings like that and the bottoms who consent to taking the canings, are mentally ill. The basic accusation against the tops: They are women-haters (of course, as so often, only the M/F constellation is considered here) who want to hurt and torture women and might even proceed to non-consensual rape and torture if severe forms of BDSM play aren't prohibited and if they don't seek out mental help. Okay, let me swallow my anger concerning the horrible accusations made against people like Ludwig and me for a moment, and let's analyse that argument rationally.

Fact is that there is a psychological difference between pathological sadism (the one that some psychopaths are diagnosed with) and affectionate erotic sadism (the one that is involved in kinky play) which I explained in detail in this post. The latter isn't considered to be a mental illness. Personal preferences and the severity of one's play don't influence that medical classification, as long as the play is consensual and no permanent bodily harm is done. As for the aspect of being women-haters or men-haters: Ludwig definitely isn't one. Many others whom I have met personally aren't (I recommend reading Ludwig's behind-the-scenes report from his Lupus Pictures shoot). And I am not a men-hater, either, despite the fact that I can enjoy seeing male spankees at the receiving end of severe canings. I can't rule out the possibility that some pathological sadists watch kinky porn, too, like paedophiles who look at boyscout brochures, but that doesn't mean that kinky people who do that kind of scenes or producers who film them are dangerous or doing anything morally objectionable.

(Picture of a typical women-hater and his helpless victims.)

The third part of the argument, which is that the depiction of violence leads to violent behaviour, was disproved in different studies as well. And non-consensual fantasies don't equal the wish to make any real non-consensual experiences, either, as Pandora wonderfully explained in her post about women's rape fantasies. So, the basic question here is: Do I want to live in a world where the prohibition of certain things and the classification of people as being mentally ill and dangerous is based on emotional judgements of people, even if they contradict the results of scientific studies? For me, the answer is again clear.

 

The general tactics and the arguments in the thread mentioned above are typical for the kinds of discussions in which people try to sell their personal preferences as a valid base for moral judgements: Totally inappropriate comparisons (severe canings and cannibalism), attempts to raise fear with completely unproven assumptions (people could become violent because of severe BDSM porn), the presentation of totally wrong conclusions (Lupus could be censored because of their violent movies, so why not prevent that by self-censorship) and pseudo sympathy (hey, in a way I am mentally ill as well, I don't judge you for having those desires, you just have to suppress them) plus pseudo solutions (why not fake severe canings, then everyone would be happy).

By the way, the golden rule isn't a base for moral arbitrariness. Quite the contrary, it can lead to very strict moral statements as well if necessary. Another issue briefly mentioned in the thread was spanking children. In his comment fatherjim states: "Look, I don't like ANYONE hitting kids at all! PERIOD! That said, I will not call those who do sick and in need of a psychiatrist lest they escalate and possibly kill their child!" When it comes to spanking children, that certainly isn't a consensual activity. And scientific studies have proven that spanking children can cause permanent mental harm and that other ways of raising children can be just as effective without involving the same risk. So, the question here is: Do I want to live in a world where defenceless minors are subjected to painful experiences that can cause permanent mental harm (without any scientific proof that they do help these children more in other aspects than other forms of education)? For me, the answer is simple, which is why I am strictly against spanking children, and that not only when there is any acute danger for their lives.

Well, I don't think that rational analyses, informed opinions and the golden rule will ever be able to replace pseudo-moralistic discussions based on emotions, fear and personal taste. But if they did, our world would be a more tolerant and at the same time safer place, in my opinion. Luckily, there are people who use the informed, analytic approach. Some commenters in the original thread did (at least partially). In my opinion that's all one can ask for.

Football and Masochism

Germany has made it into the quarter-finals of the UEFA Euro 2012. Yippee! For those of you thinking: Hey, this isn't a football blog, it's a spanking blog! - bear with me. Because watching football reports can be very kinky, as Ludwig and I learned a few days ago. And I am not talking about the masochistic streak that fans of certain football teams definitely need to have. Like the Irish fans (I love their chants and their happy mood, it's a shame that the team didn't make it to the quarter-finals) or the fans from the Netherlands (sorry guys, but we did everything we could do for you in our last match).

No, I am talking about real kinky masochism! The one related to Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, the guy who has written "Venus in Furs", a book I am not very fond of as I once told you. Von Sacher-Masoch lived in a city that was then called Lemberg and was the capital of Galicia and Lodomeria, at the time a province of the Austrian Empire. Today the name of the city is Lviv and it is part of Ukraine, the land that hosts this year's European Football Championship together with Poland.

Well, and Lviv is also one of the cities where some of the football matches take place. For example, the last match of the German team during the group stage was held there. Often the TV reports of the matches are accompanied by clips about the culture of the countries that are hosting the European Championship. And so, there was also a clip about Lviv in preparation for the match that the German team had there. Nothing special so far. But this clip really caught Ludwig's and my attention!

It had been produced by the Brazilian TV channel globo.tv and it wasn't about the city as a whole, but specifically about its famous son Leopold von Sacher-Masoch and the Masoch Café, a restaurant centred around kink and masochism where waitresses whip you for free. I found the TV report online. It's in Portuguese, but even if you don't understand the language, the pictures speak for themselves. You can watch the clip here if you like. It seems like some of the football fans had a lot of fun with that nice lady and her whip!

So, who says that watching football can't be informative and kinky? Well, in my opinion kink and sports go together very well, anyway! I just hope that the next matches of the German national team will appeal more to my sadistic side than to my masochistic streak...

Pervertible Wooden Implement

After a wonderful sunny day out with a kinky friend whom Ludwig and I met today, a very welcome change from all the work that currently rules our lives, I sat in front of the computer thinking about what kind of post I could publish this time. After so much inspiring talk about the kinky lifestyle (and much more), I didn't want to write a theoretical post. And I was in the mood for some action as well.

Then I remembered an interesting pervertible item which I had come across a while ago when sorting out some stuff. I don't know what exactly it is, but it is a redundant piece of wood that came with a do-it-yourself assembly cabinet. It is made of oak and looks like a ruler, only with six holes on one side. So, I fetched it and asked Ludwig whether he would like to try it out, so that we could tell our readers whether this pervertible actually works.

As you can imagine, it didn't take much to convince Ludwig to participate in this little product testing. And so I soon found myself kneeling on a little chair in a corner with my PJ panties down. Ludwig took aim, swung back and with a crack our wooden test object landed across my bare cheeks. I let out a loud: "Ouch!" That thing really works as a spanking object. And what a nasty one! Maybe that's because it is about five millimetres thick.

Ludwig of course made sure to give our new implement a proper try-out, painting my bottom red all over. Finally, he administered twelve more strokes which I had to count out loud. I did, accompanied by lots of hissing, wriggling and screaming. When Ludwig was done, my bottom was crimson red and I even had a little bulls-eye bruise on my right cheek, as you can see in the picture at the top of this post.

My conclusion: We have a new implement in our toy collection! It is a nasty little specimen, but for some reason I also like this piece of wood. I think it would be great for a traditional (school) scene over the clothes as well. I gave Ludwig a try-out stroke over his jeans and he confirmed to me that one definitely feels the pain through clothes as well.

Ludwig is not a big fan of wooden paddles and similar implements, though, so chances aren't good that he is going to volunteer for a full scene with our new toy with him on the receiving end. I don't want to play regularly with rigid wooden implements, either, because they tend to cause too much bruising from my point of view. But as I am sitting here writing this post with a pleasantly warm bottom, I am sure that our new "ruler" will see some action from time to time in the future nonetheless.

Does anyone have an idea what our little pervertible has actually been made for? And how about you, do you like wooden rulers? What kinds of scenes would you use one for?

Football, Spilled Tea and a Spanking

For those of you living outside of Europe (or in Europe but under a stone), the European Football Championship has begun and is keeping fans all across Europe in a state of suspense. The first match involving the German national team took place on Saturday. I wanted to watch the game and Ludwig decided to join me, despite of him not being a huge football fan plus having made bad experiences with football bets.

Unlike most other German fans I didn't watch the match with a beer in my hand, though. Instead I made myself a pot of herbal tea to calm my nerves. Which was necessary because Germany's opponent, the Portuguese team, proved to be equally strong. The German team was finally successful, though. Ludwig had just left the room for a second when the German team scored the only and therefore winning goal of the match. I let out a scream of excitement and told Ludwig the good news when he returned.

I had just calmed down a bit when Ludwig suddenly asked me: "What's that on the floor? Is that tea?" I looked around and there were indeed several huge drops of liquid on the floor. Since Ludwig didn't have a drink, it must have been me who had spilled my tea. Frankly, I couldn't remember any of that, but the only logical explanation was that I had swung around my mug a bit too enthusiastically when the Germans scored their goal...

Fast forward a few hours and you'll find my over Ludwig's lap, with my PJ trousers and my knickers down for a good hand spanking. Because for some reason Ludwig thought that I needed a lesson in how to celebrate a football goal properly. Obviously, in his opinion, waving around one's mug isn't the right way to do it. Ah well.

After he had heated my bottom accompanied by a lecture about proper ways of celebrating, Ludwig allowed me to get up again and rearrange my clothes. I wasn't so sure whether his care for a clean floor was the main reason for me being spanked, though. I told Ludwig that I was quite sure he had ulterior motives for taking me over his knee. "Really, which motives?" was Ludwig's reply. I pointed at what I considered to be the proof for my theory while Ludwig was laughing sheepishly. And so the day finally ended with a rather private game.

A won football match, a spanking and a wonderful time with Ludwig – that's what I call a great evening!

Bonding in the Kinky (Online) Community

Due to sad recent events, both Mija and Indy have written very interesting posts about the question of ways and rituals to express one's sympathy in the online community, especially when an online friend is grieving for a close family member. When my mother died, I didn't write about it here because I have made the decision to blog about spanking-related topics only. But I e-mailed with some kinky friends about my situation and my feelings, especially with Indy and Peter. And the conversation with both of them meant a lot to me, even though they were far away and we couldn't get together so easily for a personal chat or hug. So, the hugs may have been virtual ones, but the words, the thoughts and the feelings were real. Which is all that matters in my view.

Some time after her death, my Mum played a prominent role in one of my posts, in the context of a philosophical rambling. She had been such a wonderful support at the time I got to know Ludwig and started exploring my kink that I felt she deserved a special post here on the blog. And so I published Does Your Mother Know?, a post about the question whether to tell family members about one's kink. The post was mainly about the special relationship which I had with my Mum and about how she trusted me and supported me in my new explorations, even though the idea of erotic spanking didn't make any sense to her.

I got some very touching comments on that post, some from people with whom I had exchanged lots of thoughts before, like Ursus Lewis, and some from people whom I hadn't ever heard of earlier, like Tina. All of those comments meant a lot to me. And then, for reasons that I don't understand until today, I found out that my post had been Chrossed. I am not sure, but I guess the topic of how much to tell one's family and friends about one's kink somehow raised Chross's interest. Whatever it was that made Chross post a link in his "Spankings of the Week", the fact that lots of people would read about how wonderful and special my mother was moved me a lot.

This all made me think about the more general question of how bonding in the kinky (online) community works and what we are expecting from people whom we meet here. I guess for me the answer is that I only see a very small number of people in the kinky community as really close friends. They are those with whom I not only communicate via blog comments, but also in private e-mails. They are those whom I have met in person, even if long distances make these meetings rare. They are the ones with whom I also exchange more than just kink-related information and thoughts. For me, these are only very few people, though, and I find that absolutely okay. My life consists of so many parts, like work, family life and vanilla hobbies, and kink is only a very small part of it. My life also involves many people, for example my mate Ludwig, my family, work colleagues, vanilla friends and lots of acquaintances, so that my time and energy don't allow me to build up and maintain close friendships with dozens of people in the kinky community.

But still, the people whom I meet through the blogosphere mean a lot to me. I love to exchange thoughts and have fun with like-minded people in the kinky community. That's what I am mainly here for. Most of the people I am in contact with in our community might not be close personal friends but what I would rather call acquaintances. People with whom I exchange thoughts on an irregular basis, mostly in a purely kinky context. People whom I often haven't ever met in person. But that doesn't mean that our talks are meaningless. Quite the contrary, sometimes I can be deeply touched by a comment or a post, even if I don't know the person who has written it very well. And if someone in the community whom I know, even if it is "just" through blog comments, is having a sad time, then every supportive comment or e-mail that I write is heartfelt.

In my opinion, one can only have so many people to whom one feels especially close. At least this is true for me. But that doesn't mean that emotions towards other people are insincere. If I write about something that touches me on this blog, I don't expect others to stop their lives because of it. I don't even expect them to spend lots of time thinking about it. But it still means a lot to me if someone takes a moment or two to write a short reassuring comment or to share his or her own experiences. That's what I am here for.

How about you? What are you looking for in the kinky (online) community? Is it all just about kink and fun? Do the people matter at all? If so, how close are your bondings to your fellow kinksters? Are they close friends or rather acquaintances? And, are your relationships in the kinky community an addition to your vanilla social network or is the kinky community the main network in your life? I'm looking forward to hearing from you!

My Favourite Headmaster

When I talked about spanking terms around the world, I told you that I would introduce you to my favourite British headmaster sometime. Despite a famous cliché about Germans, I actually think that many Germans have lots of humour. At least I am a British comedy addict, and so are several of my friends.

Thus, my favourite British headmaster is none other than Rowan Atkinson. So, here it comes. I have to warn you, though. It's very dark British humour and it's not for the faint-hearted. If Pythonesque is rather a warning label for you than a quality indicator, then you better shouldn't watch. You have been warned! Everyone else, please enjoy.

I have the DVD from which this clip is taken at home, and I love all the sketches! In my very first post I already quoted some sentences from another sketch that is part of the same DVD. This one is not about spanking but I am going to share it with you, nontheless, because what is a day without a good laugh or at least a little smile? In my opinion Rowan Atkinson is a genius.

Last but not least, for those of you who are looking for a real spanking clip instead of comedy: Emma Bishop has informed me that her first spanking film in more than two years has been launched. It is called „The PA Presents“ and Emma does not only play the main character, she also produced and directed the film. You can read more about it here.