Saturday, June 16, 2012

Pervertible Wooden Implement

After a wonderful sunny day out with a kinky friend whom Ludwig and I met today, a very welcome change from all the work that currently rules our lives, I sat in front of the computer thinking about what kind of post I could publish this time. After so much inspiring talk about the kinky lifestyle (and much more), I didn't want to write a theoretical post. And I was in the mood for some action as well.

Then I remembered an interesting pervertible item which I had come across a while ago when sorting out some stuff. I don't know what exactly it is, but it is a redundant piece of wood that came with a do-it-yourself assembly cabinet. It is made of oak and looks like a ruler, only with six holes on one side. So, I fetched it and asked Ludwig whether he would like to try it out, so that we could tell our readers whether this pervertible actually works.

As you can imagine, it didn't take much to convince Ludwig to participate in this little product testing. And so I soon found myself kneeling on a little chair in a corner with my PJ panties down. Ludwig took aim, swung back and with a crack our wooden test object landed across my bare cheeks. I let out a loud: "Ouch!" That thing really works as a spanking object. And what a nasty one! Maybe that's because it is about five millimetres thick.

Ludwig of course made sure to give our new implement a proper try-out, painting my bottom red all over. Finally, he administered twelve more strokes which I had to count out loud. I did, accompanied by lots of hissing, wriggling and screaming. When Ludwig was done, my bottom was crimson red and I even had a little bulls-eye bruise on my right cheek, as you can see in the picture at the top of this post.

My conclusion: We have a new implement in our toy collection! It is a nasty little specimen, but for some reason I also like this piece of wood. I think it would be great for a traditional (school) scene over the clothes as well. I gave Ludwig a try-out stroke over his jeans and he confirmed to me that one definitely feels the pain through clothes as well.

Ludwig is not a big fan of wooden paddles and similar implements, though, so chances aren't good that he is going to volunteer for a full scene with our new toy with him on the receiving end. I don't want to play regularly with rigid wooden implements, either, because they tend to cause too much bruising from my point of view. But as I am sitting here writing this post with a pleasantly warm bottom, I am sure that our new "ruler" will see some action from time to time in the future nonetheless.

Does anyone have an idea what our little pervertible has actually been made for? And how about you, do you like wooden rulers? What kinds of scenes would you use one for?


Indy said...

Hmm, 5 mm thick? That sounds more promising than a ruler or a wooden spoon, both of which are unendurably stingy. The only way I can take wood is with a warmup that starts very light indeed, or over a layer. It's amazing how much less skin damage is done with a thin layer of cotton between me and the wood!

Lovely picture!

OldFashionedGirl said...

What a fab picture - and that strip of wood looks really, really stingy!

Donpascual said...

No idea what it is, but I may propose another ruler type implement directly out of the bedroom:

I you ever take apart a bed in order to dispose of it, there is a multitude of flat slabs held together by canvas bonds underneath the mattress. They make wonderful stingy, burning spanking implements. Since they are slightly bent, they make contact with the entire bottom all the way across with a single swipe. Try it!

Donpascual said...

Stupid mistake, it should be slats (Latten) not slabs.
(Nice feature, I need a lot, would be an option to reopen a comment and correct mistakes). :-)

! said...

Looks like an implement I would like. Is it similar to a thick wooden ruler?

Also, cute PJ's =)

Anonymous said...

Wonderful, but lasting marks for sure! We use a red oak molding 1-1/4" (26mm) wide by 5/16" (8mm) thick with great effect. - Eric

Val said...

Kaelah, lucky you to have one of real wood - occasionally I do get such a left over piece of wood from do-it-yourself-assembly furniture, however they always seem to made be of that saw dust compound, not real wood, and they are used as spacers in the packaging of said furniture. IKEA stuff, not expensive real wood! That being said - this piece seems to be a shelf spacer of some sort, holes may have been needed to receive the little pegs supporting the shelves. If my guess is correct, then a twin piece should be around somewhere, so that both you and Ludwig can duel with matching weapons...!
I did have something similar, however it was cut from a length of that baseboard material which they use at the base of a wall, right where it meets the floor: about 5 cm wide, and 5 mm thick, not sure what wood that was but not oak, looked like something more exotic - but the sting of it! Got discarded when replaced by a made-to-purpose mahogany ruler. Do like to receive it occasionally, depends on the mood and sequence of other toys. You are right, such implements are very quick to make bruises. Occasionally one may find an account of a yardstick spanking. Always have been dismissive of those, yardsticks nowadays are no more than flimsy shingles, liable to snap right away.
A home improvement store her ein the US, Home Depot, gives away paint stirrer sticks - the ones you want are those for the 5 gallon cans, and also you want two of them, glued together. Suddenly you have a very serious instrument.
Recently I have purchased an old slide rule from an antique store - no, not for computing, but for, you guessed it, perverting it to fun ends - 42 cm long, 42 mm wide, 8 mm thick, very-very smooth surface. This instrument made me wonder: nowadays you can have an electronic calculator which computes anything faster and more accurately, but... has anyone ever been spanked with a calculator, and is there any fun in that?

Donpascual said...


whether you believe it or not, there is a journal cover foto floating around the net, in which a mathematics professor spanks a female student on the bare with a slide rule calculator.
The magazine actually was a quite vanilla one.
Perhaps, somebody can provide an address.

Val said...

Sadly, that professor is not me. The thought did cross my mind at one point that I could go and teach calculus in a girl's prep school... ;-) Or Latin, or Greek.
Anyway, find the address and I'll bring the slide rule. :-)

Kaelah said...

@ Indy:
Despite of its thickness, this piece of wood still packs quite a sting. So I guess a proper warm-up sounds like a good idea (I will tell Ludwig about it)! :-) I have to try it over clothes as well one day and see whether that also reduces the bruising of my bottom.

@ OldFashionedGirl:
Thanks for your kind compliment! And you are right, this beast is indeed stingy.

@ Donpascual:
Thanks for sharing your experiences! I still need my bed right now but the idea of using the slightly bend slats as implements which cover the whole bottom sounds good.

Unfortunately, Blogger doesn't offer the possibility to change comments. The only way is to delete the comment and post a new one...

@ !:
I have only tried one wooden ruler so far which belonged to Pandora. And that one was much lighter than this pervertible implement. I guess it was made of a type of wood with a lower density. But I guess there are rulers made of heavier wood and I would say that our new implement must be quite similar to them.

@ Eric:
Thanks for stopping by! The marks are gone now. Wow, an 8 mm thick molding? That sounds heavy!

@ Val:
You really seem to be an expert when it comes to pervertible items! I haven't found a twin piece (only another piece of wood with a very different shape) but I think that you are correct nonetheless concerning the original purpose of our pervertible piece of wood. I haven't ever been spanked with an electronic calculator and I don't think it is much fun, your old slide rule sounds much cooler. :-)

Anonymous said...

Fabulous photo. I do so love your red PJs Kaelah. And pulled down for a good, smacked bottom of course.

Yes, unfortunately I always had to pull those same snuggy, cotton jammies down for Papa's slipper across my bare botty, when I misbehaved growing up at home !! Exactly as shown Kaelah. And strictly without exception too.

It was a long time ago, but it certainly started my kink. And I won't deny it was simply a harsh, stern fact of domestic life back then.

And that's also true for many of my girl friends too. We sexy, young-at-heart ladies of a certain age; brought up in very strict,old-fashioned ways in the 1970s. It's a different take. But fabulous all the same !

Realistic. Nostalgic. Wonderful !

Kaelah said...

@ Louise:
As I have said before on other occasions, I am very glad that I wasn't subjected to any kind of regular CP as a child, because it would most probably have caused lots of harm. That's why I am strictly opposed to spanking children, too. I am glad that you childhood experiences obviously didn't have any negative influence on your kink, though. Happy that you like the picture!