Thursday, April 26, 2012

Who's Out There?

As the more avid readers might have noticed, there have been many new commenters on this blog lately. And while I have a lot of stress right now, this is something that makes me very happy. I might not be able to answer every comment right away at the moment, but I do read them and I am happy about everyone who takes the time to share their experiences and thoughts, may it be a regular or a first-time commenter.

What I noticed as well is that many of our commenters seem to be avid readers not only of the blog posts but also of the comments written by others. And so there have been many cross-references and discussions among our commenters lately, something which I find wonderful.

It occurred to me, though, that I have no clue where all you new commenters suddenly come from and what inspired you to step out of the shadows and say hello?! Furthermore, I usually have no idea how long and how regularly a new commenter has been reading this blog. That sometimes makes it difficult to write a reply that doesn't repeat things which a commenter might already know because I wrote them earlier somewhere, but at the same time provides enough background information in case anyone doesn't know all the old blog posts. And of course there is also still a big silent group for whom we are writing as well, and I have no idea who you guys are.

I think as a silent long-time reader of a blog, one can easily forget that while one has become familiar with the writers and the regular commenters, those people have no idea that one is out there. Until one takes the plunge and says hello that is. It is a funny feeling sometimes as a blog writer, to know that there are people out there who have followed Ludwig's and my adventures for years but about whom I don't know anything at all. Not even that you exist!

I am aware that not all of you are comfortable with sharing a lot about yourselves, and that is perfectly okay. Reader privacy is an important value for both Ludwig and me. But I thought it would be great and a lot of fun, not only for Ludwig and me but for the other readers and commenters as well, if you were willing to share a few things about yourself, so that we all can learn to know each other a bit better. So, this post is all about you out there, whether you are a regular reader or someone who has just discovered this blog, an active member of the kinky community or an observer, an avid commenter or a silent reader. You are all welcome to join in, either by just saying hi or by sharing anything you are comfortable with, for example how you found this blog and how long you have been following us. It would be very cool if many of you decided to participate!

To break the ice, I am going to make a start:

Hi, my name is Kaelah, and I discovered this blog for the first time around late summer 2008 via Spanking Tube. Some weeks earlier, I had come across the term erotic spanking for the very first time in my life, although I had had kinky fantasies since childhood. On Love Our Lurkers Day in November 2008, I wrote my first-ever comment on a kinky blog (under my then nickname K'Ehleyr). A short time later, I contacted Ludwig privately, met him for the first time in person in 2009 and asked him to introduce me into the world of spanking. Eventually, I harvested him and became his mate (yes, this is the short-short version of the whole story).

In August 2009, I became Ludwig's co-writer on this blog. I'm predominantly a bottom but also an enthusiastic switch. You can read more about my fantasies here and about myself and my hobbies here. I very much enjoy exchanging ideas with fellow kinksters, and I am curious to learn more about the other commenters on this blog. Nice to meet you!


Anonymous said...


I made my first ever comment on a spanking blog a few days ago, in your piece on 'Could you do without?', and now this inviting post appears! And it looks like I might be first. So, a little more info.
I've known I've been kinky since adolescence, but haven't participated in actual play. I started off by reading Black Lace books, then found Niki Flynn's 'Dances with Werewolves' recommended to me on Amazon. I googled Niki Flynn a couple of years ago. She had retired by then, but I found Henry Higgins' blog, which has an incredibly useful sidebar with his favourite sites and their most recent updates listed. It was there I found your blog, which is one of my favourites. Because all the blogs interlink I get a sense of the community you share, which I really appreciate you sharing with those of us who can't be part of it. I find reality beats Black Lace hands down.

Grüße aus Cornwall

Donpascual said...

many of you will know me from a number of comments and the recent M/M interview. These posts contain quite a bit of information already.
I stumbled across this blog by zapping through Web contents, one of my great pleasures. I found RP before Kaelah met Ludwig, because I remember that Ludwig asked spankos to help Paul Kennedy (from northern spanking) to survive a hard blow by some vicious people who outed him in his home community. I have been subscribing to this site ever since and also to Ludwig's Blog, but did not comment until recently.
I had been very active in the scene and pulled out a few years ago, completely frustrated. Now, I am enjoying the scene again, thanks at least partly to you, Kaelah and Ludwig.
I am a life long top, married, grandfather, tennis player, pianist and avid SF and crime story reader.

Greetings from Southern Bavaria

Ursus Lewis said...

Interesting idea... Well, I don't quite remember when I started to comment on this blog. I know for sure, I started to comment on spanking blogs in general after I moved from Switzerland to New York in summer 2009. I started with my previous screen name urs0us. While exploring my spanking kink and participating in the local scene I discovered I needed a last name for my top persona and so my screen developed to the actual one. 2009 brought a lot of changes for me. I relocated to USA, I found the courage to meet like minded people and finally started to play. Since I discovered this blog I liked it and it was one of the blogs I felt comfortable to comment on. I didn't do much recently, but that has nothing to do with the content or the topics discussed, but more with my mood and time to spend on kinky blogs.

Anonymous said...

Hi Kaelah. Interesting that you would like to know more about commenters, old and new (congratulations on all the new ones). We might find the information fascinating (or possibly just a bit boring?), but I wonder if it could spoil the mystery and fantasy associated with the whole thing. Do we really want to know that reader xxx is not the young, kinky Scandinavian female that she appears to be, but a lonely, middle-aged, cross-dressing bloke from Ludwigshafen with two broken marriages and a fantasy?

Not that I'm suggesting any of your commenters actually fit into this category, especially on what is probably one of the most intellectual spanking blogs on the internet - some of the discussions get really quite philosophical (maybe you could use the input for your Doctor of Philosophy degree, or probably that's totally unrelated - you once upon a time had a section on the blog for it, I think, but I never saw any details or comments). I can see just from the content and style of writing that many of your commenters are, shall we say, of pretty high IQ, as opposed to some of the other commenters one encounters over a range of other internet sites (duh!).

Obviously some people will come forward with their background information (real or fantastical), but I think it would be much more amusing if you were to make a few guesses about your commenting fans, i.e. *you* try to provide the information about them that you are asking for. Other commenters could also have a go at this, then maybe some more would come forward to say whether we have got it right or wrong.

I think this could lighten proceedings considerably and might give us all a good laugh, as well as bringing a few more people out of their (lurking) shells.

Donpascual said...

Fabulous idea, Anonymous. I still remember my first live meeting with a dozen or so people, whom I "knew" only from chat and forum, up till then.
There were lots of positive but all the same big surprises.
I vote for doing it!!

Ludwig said...

@ Anonymous #2: "...but I think it would be much more amusing if you were to make a few guesses about your commenting fans, i.e. *you* try to provide the information about them that you are asking for."

Interesting thought, but no! *grins*

First and foremost, this post is meant to get people commenting who haven't commented much before. In all likelihood, they are a bit shy. So we don't want to scare them away with wild (and probably wildly inaccurate) guesses about them. You may find that amusing, but there are others who might find it a bit weird, or intrusive at worst.

Spankingfreunde.DE said...

Hello, I started 2007 to look after Spanking at the Internet. I found many nice english spoken Page, ans a few german Page. So I start a one Page! But I prefer more real spanking. So we started 2001 first time a CT for spanko in germany!

Today I am travel from time to time over english spoken Pages and blogs.

Chross and Ludwig are the Top Adress to start my traveling.

@Donpacal I happy to hear you fun comes back!

Persönlich deshalb auf Deutsch: "Wo sind sie alle geblieben, die sich so wichtig nahmen? Wichtig ist nur das Unikat und seine Gefühle und Empfindungen!Denn die sind trotz manchem Wandel doch sehr beständig!"

Die suche nach Bedeutung ist es nie!

Anonymous said...

@ Ludwig (from Anonymous #2)

Ah well, it's your blog and you control it. You don't seem to think much of my ideas, so you won't be hearing from me again!


Lebewohl! Abschied!

Ludwig said...

@ Anonymous #2: I didn't mean to ruffle your feathers. Remember, given that this had (apparently?) been the first time you commented, I've only ever heard one idea from you. I didn't think that one was good, because of the reason I outlined above. But who knows? I might have loved your next idea.

In any case, you are welcome to comment again anytime if you change your mind.

Donpascual said...

@Anonymous #2
Since I seconded your idea of guessing and speculating about the identities of commenters, I may revise my support.
Ludwig has a few valid arguments against it.
Generally, any exchange of opinions may be controversial, but that is OK as long as a reply or comment does not hurt feelings.
In my opinion, you have no reason to withdraw. We often argue pro and contra, often quite heatedly; but that should not be interpreted as being offensive.

Donpascual said...

The enormous and still mounting number of Blogs and Forums requires a lot of discipline (mental).
Some of them are very good and make it hard to make a choice.
I have found my niche here and at Pandora's site, and that keeps me occupied with spare time for other things.

Diderich said...

@ Donpascual

My sympathy with Anonymous #2. "It not what one say, it the way one say it." I would find so funny as my auto-generated Google profile anything any fellow-spanko surmise about me!:-)

Kaelah said...

@ Anonymous # 1:
Thanks a lot for your comment, you have indeed been the first one who followed my invitation! :-) And I have to say that it is very flattering to know that this is the first kinky blog you have ever commented on. I guess I have to thank HH for having linked you to us. I haven't been to Cornwall, yet, but I have heard that it is a very beautiful part of England (or maybe we are talking about one of the other Cornwalls, for example in Canada or the USA?). It's great to have you here and I hope that you will continue commenting.

By the way, if you want to give us a possibility to recognize that it is you, you can use the “Name/URL” option instead of the Anonymous option. It allows you to give yourself a random nickname (like, for example, spanko123 or Cornwall) and you can simply ignore the URL field, it isn't mandatory. There is no additional data recorded. The only difference to the Anonymous option is that your chosen nickname is displayed at the top of your comment, like, for example, in Donpascual's comments.

@ Donpascual:
Wow, I didn't know that you have been reading the blog for such a long time already! It's good to hear that you are enjoying the scene again. :-)

I can see why meeting fellow kinksters whom one only knew from online communication so far for the very first time can hold a lot of funny surprises! I have experienced that, too. But, as Ludwig already explained, guessing about people whom one doesn't know at all on a public forum holds a high possibility of setting people under pressure to tell more about themselves than they are comfortable or scare them away. I'm glad that you agree with Ludwig and me about that potential risk. It's not about spoiling any fun, it is just about treating our readers carefully and respectfully and giving everyone the chance to draw a line concerning the information they are willing to share at a point which makes them feel safe and comfortable.

@ Ursus Lewis:
Thanks a lot for showing up! I had been thinking about you lately. I saw you commenting on another blog and wondered whether you are still reading here, too. It's good to know that you are still around. :-) Of course people have sometimes more and sometimes less time to comment. But if one doesn't hear from a commenter for a while, there is no way of being sure whether he or she has maybe left the (online) community completely, doesn't read that particular blog any more or just doesn't have the time or the desire to comment. There are several other formerly avid commenters from whom I haven't heard in a while, and I wonder whether they are still here as well...

Kaelah said...

@ Anonymous # 2:
Welcome and thanks for sharing your thoughts and ideas! It is interesting that you assume that people might disguise themselves as someone else when they comment here. I can see why some people might do so on a forum that focusses on attractiveness, but I have to admit that I don't see any reason to do that here. It actually never occurred to me that anyone could do that on our blog. Because Ludwig and I are much more interested in chatting with people who have interesting things to say, rather than being young and physically attractive (something that lies in the eyes of the beholder, anyway). So, quite frankly, the middle-aged, cross-dressing man from Ludwigshafen sounds even more interesting to me than the young attractive kinky woman (or man) because he has probably made much more interesting experiences. And I have to admit that I also hope that our readers don't try to appear as someone who they are not, especially when it comes to such personal things as discussing play sessions that didn't turn out as planned or maybe even experiences with abuse. But the possibility that people might disguise themselves online is definitely worth a thought.

As for your idea of making guesses about one another, I am with Ludwig when it comes to the risks of such a game. The only reason why Ludwig replied first, is that I don't have the time to answer comments on a daily basis right now. As I already explained in my reply to Donpascual, the decision is not about spoiling any fun, it is just about treating our readers carefully and respectfully and giving everyone the chance to draw a line concerning the information they are willing to share at a point which makes them feel safe and comfortable. Erotic spanking is a very personal and intimate topic. In a personal meeting one can ask all participants beforehand whether they are comfortable with such an idea and you can also interpret their body language during such a game and stop if necessary. That isn't possible on an online forum, though. I, for example, would feel under pressure to explain myself if someone suggested that I am in a daddy-girl-relationship or that my profession must surely have something to do with the production of weapons. Both are things I am very uncomfortable with, and I wouldn't want to be associated with them. I think that you can surely relate to that potential risk, given that the friendly and well-explained decline of your idea obviously already made you feel unwelcome on this blog. Even though that has never indicated in any way that you or your ideas are unwelcome, it just means that Ludwig and I decided not to turn that one particular idea into practise because of its inherent and obvious risks.

@ Spankingfreunde / Rainer:
I don't know where you take the time to read blogs, anyway, given the amount of time that you already invest in your site and the play events. It is all the more flattering to know that this blog is one of your first addresses when it comes to English language blogs. :-)

@ Diderich:
Hello and welcome! I hope that Ludwig and I both made it very clear that our decision not to turn Anonymous' # 2 idea into practise was not made in order to spoil the fun but to prevent people from getting hurt. I explained it in detail in my reply to Anonymous # 2. But of course you are very welcome to share more about yourself without anyone guessing if you like!

Raku69 said...

Hello to you, Kaelah.:-) A long time lurker, I had with difficulty courage plucked up to delurk to make few comments and give background information about me. But because I see Ludwig's twice "put down" of Anonymous #2 (although I sure he does not mean to come over that way) I will not bother doing more than just delurk now so you know I there. Not to risk public scolding from the Master! May say more later. Best wishes both.

EmmaJane said...

Unfortunately I am not as regular a reader as I once was, or would like to be, but I'm still out here, returning when I can. So a little wave from me :) EJ xx

Kaelah said...

@ Raku69:
Hi and welcome! Thanks for delurking! You definitely don't have to tell anything about you that you don't want to share. Take your time.

I have to admit that I don't really get your interpretation of Ludwig's comments, though. In his first comment, Ludwig explained in a friendly way (in his usual tongue-of-cheek way, but clearly marked with a grin) why we decided not to put Anonymous' # 2 idea into practise, and in his second comment he reassured Anonymous # 2 that this wasn't against him (I suppose we are talking about a man) and that he is of course welcome on our blog. So, I can't see why anyone should be afraid of a "public scolding".

@ Emma Jane:
Thank you so much for showing up! I didn't know that you are still reading our blog at all. You just made me smile. :-)

Indy said...

OK, I admit it, I'm actually a lonely, middle-aged, cross-dressing bloke from Ludwigshafen with two broken marriages and a huge stash of spanking porn involving sexy young Scandinavian women.

Damn, you've found me out! ;-)

Hugs anyway,

Spankingfreunde.DE said...

hey Oldman, you have a flirt with your age?(wie heisst kokettieren auf englisch)your sure Online is enough?

@Kaelah I have a few RSS Feeds at my Page you must look for "Panorama" Not all new posting I like! But the headlines make curious ....

psssssssssssst -My secound firtname is curious

Dee said...

Um....... hi :)
I've happened upon your blog today and find myself leaving this comment! I'm not sure I really fit in here at all, I do not 'play'. I guess you could say I finally came clean to my guy about my spanking desires which have somehow..... developed into something else entirely lol.
Your latest blog post prompted my comment, I do prefer that 'straight to the point honesty' thing :)and I like to read :)

Dee x

Ludwig said...

@ Raku69: Thank you for delurking, and welcome. It does take courage to write your first comments on the web about an intimate subject like spanking, so congratulations on the first step.

I really don't think that you have to be afraid of a "public scolding". As for Anonymous #2, I merely disagreed with him about a suggestion of his. I explained my reason why. I wasn't uncivil or impolite. I did not call him names. I don't think he had any reason for his rather melodramatic "You won't be hearing from me again!" reaction. But even when he wrote that, I stayed friendly with him, reassured him that I hadn't meant to ruffle his feathers and that he is welcome to comment again if he changes his mind.

A few years ago, I probably would have answered his petulance in a much less magnanimous manner. But as you can see, Kaelah has mellowed me down considerably already. So there really is no danger!

Kaelah said...

@ Indy:
I knew it!!! Your Ludwigshafener accent gave you away. ;-)

@ Spankingfreunde:
So, you are Mr Curious then. Wouldn't have noticed... ;-)

@ Dee:
Welcome! It's good to see that my rant even animated you to comment. :-) I've taken a look at your blog and I think I know what you mean with "not playing". Don't worry, though, there isn't any need 'to fit in' here. As long as you enjoy reading our blog (for whatever reason) you are very welcome! :-)

@ Ludwig:
"But as you can see, Kaelah has mellowed me down considerably already." Luckily, you are still able to defend your opinion and you still have your own unique style of writing. Plus, you encourage me to draw clear lines as well if necessary, which I think is great. :-)

Hincapie said...


I go by Hincapie online ... at this particular spot I mainly come round to read and lurk in the shadows about once a week hoping for a fresh dose of interesting take on spanking, caning, corporal punishment or whatever.

I think it was Nimue (Nimues World) who originally told me about the place and shot me a link, but not entirely sure ... in either case ive been dropping for what seems like ever to have to a read and feed on the ideas ... I dont always agree with all points presented, but its excellent to get qualified opinions and personal experiences presented in such a thorough and well-written way.

I run a BDSM production company with a ton of websites in the genre (I wont bore you with a ton of spam links as theyre not spot on relevant) - no dedicated spanking ones though shamefully. Nimues site, which is part of our program, is probably the closest we get - but its still a wider ranging fetish site overall.

Anyway, I hope you know that aside from all the great comments you get from regular participants on the blog, there is a mainly silent readership as well who truly appreciates the efforts of you both!

All the best, Hincapie

Kaelah said...

@ Hincapie:
Thanks for delurking and welcome! And many thanks to Nimue for having directed you our blog. It's always nice to hear from someone who has been a part of the silent readership of this blog for a while. And it's interesting to see that the blog also has some attraction for someone who is not only focussed on spanking but interested in a wider range of fetishes. While our blog is mostly about spanking, I enjoy other fetishes as well, like, for example, restraints/bondage. And it's always interesting to exchange thoughts with people who have made different experiences! Thanks a lot for your kind compliments and I hope to hear from you again from time to time.