Kaelah's Corner (Mar 2011): R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Ludwig and I at the end of our first amateur clip.

Zille recently asked an intriguing question on her blog: What do YOU want from spanking porn? She got loads of responses and I eagerly read all the comments. And ended up in a roller coaster that has occupied my complete thoughts for about three days now.

I would like to take a closer look at the attitude towards spanking models that shows in some of the comments. At first, I only found some phrases that caused a negative gut feeling because they seemed to be a little thoughtless and could easily be misinterpreted. But then I came across one comment that was the straw which broke the camel's back and finally led to a discussion about spanking porn and ethics. I'm going to list the posts I am talking about and you can decide for yourself.

Let's start with a selection of rather harmless comments, which caused me a certain uncomfortable feeling nonetheless, because I wasn't always sure whether the writers clearly distinguished between the fantasy of a spanking scenario and the reality of a spanking porn shoot.

Mark described his preferred intensity of a spanking as follows: 

"I’d would MUCH RATHER see 2 minutes of spanking that is uncomfortable for the spankee then 20 minutes of drawn out diluted action! Give her 10 spanks that are outside her comfort zone rather then 300 she can take!"

What Mark obviously (hopefully?) meant, at least that's my guess based on the other things he wrote, is that he doesn't want long spankings that don't hurt at all with purely faked reactions, but rather short spankings which the model really feels and which cause genuine reactions. But to my mind the phrases “outside her comfort zone” and “she can take” are very misleading because it sounds like Mark would like to see the models taken beyond the limits they have agreed upon.

John Williams answered the question “What is the single most important thing to you to have in spanking porn?” like this:

"I’m gonna ignore the 'single' part and say 1) Non-sexual 2) Realistic/Genuine 3) Punishment-oriented and 4) The spanker continues uninterrupted, unfazed, and not pausing for reasons of her comfort as she begs/pleads/cries/sobs uncontrollably."

Again, if that's what the model is comfortable with, fine. But once again to me this sounds like what the model is comfortable with might not matter so much and that this is what is supposed to happen for real, not only within the storyline. The thing that made me interpret the sentences which I have quoted here in Jon Williams's favour, though, is the fact that he also talked about mouth soaping during a spanking in his comment and pointed out how important it is to take some safety measures to ensure that "it is not the least bit dangerous". So it seems to me that he in fact cares about the models' safety. Which means that he either doesn't think that crying uncontrollably could be a hurtful experience or beyond anyone's comfort zone, or that he has the implicit understanding that the model who does the scene he is talking about is one who is comfortable with these things.

The favourite spanking scene of Gilgamesh goes like this:

"I want to see real punishment of a woman by a man in a domestic situation. Age is irrelevant. Preferably caning and hard enough to leave stripes that last for a couple of weeks. There can be hand OTK before the cane. Tears and real heartfelt apologies. A description by the spankee of what she has done to deserve it. Good camera work helps too; but how you get the camera and its skilled operator to the preferably spontaneous scene I leave to the video maker. I guess the punishment might have to be postponed a few days but that doesn’t hurt."

When I read this comment (the first one of two which Gilgamesh wrote), I assumed that Gilgamesh was talking about real life DD because he even highlighted "real punishment". And my thought was: Is there any woman who is living in a DD relationship who would be comfortable with doing such a scene in front of a camera? Stripes that last for a couple of weeks? Even the cane stripes from my two very severe canings last(ed) only for about two weeks! I assumed that Gilgamesh maybe hasn't ever played for real, though, and that "stripes that last for a couple of weeks" only meant that he wanted a real spanking and not only love taps. Interestingly, Gilgamesh couldn't find his comment in the thread a bit later, so he wrote a new one. In that comment he used a different wording and it became very clear that he was indeed talking about "realistic looking" punishment scenarios, not  necessarily about real punishments. Phew, another case solved!

George's description is very nice as well:

"I like to see authentic spanking with whatever instrument is necessary to carry out the discipline, also I like to see sex and all the female parts on show, it is important to see that the female is receiving what she deserves and not some silly set ups that we see in some of the films today."

Another "deserving" woman humiliated and properly disciplined! Once again justice has been served! Joking aside, I hope George is talking about what goes on in character, not for real. He certainly did not make it in any way clear.

I did not really take offense at any of these comments. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that they were always merely talking about the scenarios they want to see, rather than the reality of the performers, even though they often did not make that distinction very clear. And as you can see, in some cases a follow-up comment also confirmed my assumption. Still, there were many other comments like the ones I quoted, and the endless stream about "deserving women", "real punishments", "real tears", "relentless spankings", reactions of "shock" and "desperation" was a tad disconcerting.

Adele and Niki behind the scenes at Lupus.

And finally we have Bill, who is into crying as well. In his first comment he suggested that the producers could use onions in order to help the models to cry even before the spanking begins. So far so good - if the model in question is comfortable with that, why not? But then Bill was scolded by Trollheart for his idea because Trollheart neither wanted to see faked nor forced tears. When I read Bill's answer, it was the straw which broke the camel's back:

"I said the onion thing just because I think most spanking models don't want to cry because they are too in control. It's not that I want fake tears it's that I think with a little teary mist in the air it will be enough to remove that boundary and the tears will flow whether they like it or not. Of course the best route is to find newbie models that are nervous and can't control themselves once they realize just how much it hurts and how little prepared they were but I think that is likely not going to happen."

So, what Bill obviously suggested was to bring the models to showing reactions with which they obviously aren't comfortable (“whether they like it or not”) and to take advantage of newbies' inexperience in order to get the reactions which he desires. I think that Bill's suggestions were at least utterly disrespectful towards the models who try to make his kinky dreams come true. Actually, to my mind, what Bill suggested would even be real abuse.

When Ludwig and I wrote comments pointing out the importance of respecting the models' limits during a shoot, Zille defended Bill with the following argument:

"[...] what you both are missing is that Bill has no idea about really making spanking porn. Nor should he -- the point is that he is a consumer, not producer. And the consumers deserve to have their fantasies about the porn industry left in place. If they become producers of porn, they may (and possibly SHOULD!) be in for a disappointment or other rude awakening ... but until they cross that line, Bill's idea of making a girl cry from onions is, in it's way, as valid as if he'd prefaced with, 'So here's a porn plot idea....' [...] I can tell you that the idea of the model 'forced to cry, despite herself' IS very important to Bill. And that's the veil of fiction we need to leave in place for consumers. As a model, I need to know I'm being taken care of, and I will only work with producers who will be ethical (and generally fun to work with, but that's because I can just do this for fun, now). But customers don't have those details to worry about (unless they want to) and it shouldn't be forced on them. None of us can help what turns us on. If Bill likes thinking about shoots that are possibly less consensual then they ought to be, that's his right, and he never needs to have reality get in the way of that. As makers of porn, we DO have to worry about it. He doesn't."

I strongly disagree with Zille. The point is, I have no problems with any kinds of fantasies people have and I am aware that Zille asked her readers about their fantasies and not about the question of how to bring these fantasies to life in an ethical manner. So, if Bill had written something about wanting to see models who totally let go and cry without caring about the camera, or if he had written about storylines that fulfil a "the spankee is forced to cry despite of herself" fantasy, everything would have been perfectly fine with me.

But Bill wasn't talking about a fantasy here, he was talking about the reality of a spanking porn shoot and made suggestions how a spanking shoot should be done in order to create the results he wants to see. And that's the point where to my mind ethical questions come into play and where it is in fact our duty to destroy any fantasies about the porn industry which assume that any form of real, i.e. non-consensual abuse is taking place and that this is in any way morally acceptable.

And in my opinion, even in a discussion about viewers' wishes and preferences, it is important to remember that the ones trying to make these wishes come true are human beings who don't want to get hurt (of course I'm not talking about physical pain in this context) and whose limits have to be respected. To my mind customers have a responsibility to care about whether the products they buy have been produced under ethical conditions. For me this goes not only for cosmetics and animal experiments or clothes and child labour - just to name two famous examples. It also applies to spanking porn and model abuse. 

Interestingly, Bill, after some initial raging against the people who were "attacking" him, later modified his position: "I am not talking about forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do. [...]  I'm talking about willing 'actresses' and intelligent creative directors working together to make a great video. [...] I want the actress to WANT the onion there because she wants to make a great video." I'm perfectly fine with that.

However, it was obvious that he still had little consideration for models' personal feelings. In Bill's mind, there are certain things a spanking model just has to be prepared to do for the viewers' pleasure, or else, she is not worthy of respect: "If crying on camera is too personal for her then what right does she have to be respected as an actress in spanking videos? [...] I believe people in a creative industry should be dedicated to what they do. I really have no clue why someone would have a problem with this comment. As far as I'm concerned a spanking model who does think tears are too personal to show on camera really has no grasp of what customers actually want or the dedication to the genre needed to make a great video."

So, not being willing to satisfy the viewers' fantasies (Bill assumes here that his preferences represent those of the majority of spanking video consumers) means that a model obviously doesn't show enough dedication to her work and, of course, to the paying customers. I wonder if he would still feel that way if he had ever been in front of a camera himself - as a bottom! To be honest, Bill's attitude is one of the reasons why I only do those things in front of a camera with which I'm absolutely comfortable and why I still sometimes feel awkward when publishing clips, despite of my precautions.

In any case, the more general question about the ethical responsibilities which do or do not go along with watching spanking porn is, in my view, a very interesting and important one.

As far as I understood Zille, she doesn't want her "What do YOU want from spanking porn?" thread turn into a discussion about ethical questions because that might scare people away from telling her about their fantasies. I respect Zille's point of view. But I would love to discuss the topic here on our blog. So, please, if you have any thoughts on this topic that you like to share, use the comment section here and don't flood Zille's comment thread with this moral discussion. If you want to tell her what you want from spanking porn, though, her thread is of course the right one!

Flogger, Cane, Killer Bottom

Having read Kaelah's Marks Quiz, you already know that we went on a holiday trip recently and met some spanko friends. We had a great time, you will hear more about it soon. For today, though, I will keep things short and to the point. As soon as we came back to Germany, I came down with a cold. Nothing serious, no need to fall over yourselves with proclamations of sympathy. I've just been feeling a bit under the weather and not too productive with a lot of sneezing and a slight, but annoyingly persistent headache, that is all.

So, I shall be content to just give you the bare essentials of our trip while solving Kaelah's marks quiz in the process (actually, she has solved most of it already with her responses to your comments). I don't want to keep you busy for too long today, anyway, because Kaelah has her monthly "corner" column coming up on the 31st and it is a subject sure to provoke a lively debate, so you better be ready.

The question was, what produced the lovely marks on Kaelah's back (picture 1), on her hand (picture 2) and on her bottom (picture 3)? Three separate events, three mysteries! Here are the answers:

1) You all guessed that the marks on the back were caused by a flogging, and this is of course correct. Our occasion for going on a trip was that The Spanking Writers, Abel and Haron aka Adele Haze, had invited us to a party they were giving to celebrate their fifth blogiversary. They are dear friends and it was delightful to see them again, plus all the other guests. The only thing that surprised me a bit (having attended one of their previous parties already) was that for a relatively long time in the beginning, there wasn't any CP play going on. Now, Kaelah and I aren't big party players, anyway. We are perfectly happy to hang out, chat with people and have some interesting conversations. But it felt a little unusual to have so many of the UK's leading perverts gathered around and not hear a hand smacking or cane whooshing sound from anywhere.

That changed after a couple of hours, though, and once everyone got going, they really got going. Smack, whoosh, ouch, all the time! So Kaelah got restless and decided that she wanted to play, too. Because we had to save her bottom for another, upcoming event (more about that in the answer to picture number 3), she suggested that she wanted "a nice back whipping". Abel and Haron graciously supplied us with a whole bunch of floggers from their magnificent collection, and Kaelah and I took them to a play room, where I was happy to administer them all. It was a casual, cheerful scene, maybe fifteen or twenty minutes long, and I applied some pretty hard strokes at the end with the floggers which Kaelah had liked best. We photographed the marks immediately afterwards. A few remnants were still visible the next day, but they, too, disappeared after a few days. The nice thing about (light) floggers is that you can make quite an impression with them in terms of sensation, but they don't do damage that lasts long.

2) The hand photograph is the one where your initial guesses were really off. The marks on Kaelah's palm and fingers were not caused by a hand tawsing, as one might suspect (note on the side: when dishing out a hand tawsing, the top should avoid hitting the fingers). Actually, Kaelah was not bottoming in that scene at all, she was topping - giving a hand spanking to a woman who has a "killer bottom" in two senses of the word. The photograph doesn't really do justice to the colours. With the naked eye, the marks on Kaelah's hand looked a much darker violet than they do on camera. Well, nobody said that topping is painless.

The bottom? Not mine, or Haron's, even though the latter was a good guess in light of the party we went to. The hand spanking did not happen at the party, it happened a few days later during a movie shoot with Pandora Blake for her upcoming video site - the second big occasion of our trip. We did three scenes that day, and one involved Kaelah putting Pandora over her knee. The first time Kaelah topped a woman, the first time she did an OTK spanking as a top, and a nice scene in terms of background, too.

3) The marks in the last picture were, as you can guess by now, the result of another scene we did at the video shoot. As you were able to tell from the stripes, it was a caning. Because of the very dark spots around the stripes, there was some speculation that other implements were involved, perhaps a paddle. But it is all the result of a rattan cane. A severe thrashing, one of the two most severe we ever did, the other being Kaelah's Klingons Do Not Faint! experiment 1 ¼ years ago (the film we made of that one is still to be published). We only play this hard when it is being immortalised on film. Like the first time, it was a scene Kaelah wanted to do and planned out in detail. She was very happy with the way it went, and so was I. Ten days later, the marks are still there, but they have healed a lot. Even severe cane marks like that can heal more quickly than one might imagine if you use ice packs immediately after the scene to prevent too much swelling.

We are both elated with how the shoot went, all three scenes, including the third one which I am going to keep secret for now. It was our second shoot with Pandora, who is quickly hitting her stride as a producer and will, mark my words, become one of the great ones. I can't wait to see her site go live. I think we did some really good stuff together.

Marks Quiz

Ludwig and I had a wonderful time together. Sadly our holidays are already over. Time went much too fast. Ludwig had to head off right away and so I have to get used again to being alone. Of course I can draw on my memories of our exciting holiday trip and relive all the experiences by looking at the pictures which we have taken. And I have decided to share some of our photos with you!

Don't worry, I have selected those which might interest you the most, so this won't become the boring “This is us in front of a beautiful old house. And here is a nice flower...” photo event which some of you might have to endure regularly on the first meeting after family members or friends have returned from their holiday trip. Instead of posting pictures of boring old houses or flowers I decided to show you the results of the kinky play that has taken place during our trip.

Apart from some casual swats we actually only played on two different occasions. But on both occasions the spankings were quite intense and so I finally had marks on all the body parts which I consider being “play zones”. If you like, you can make a guess who/what caused the different marks. One hint: Ludwig only participated in two of the three scenes!

Disclaimer: I know that some of our readers aren't so comfortable with photos of heavier marks. The first two pictures are quite harmless from my point of view, but the third spanking definitely was more severe. So, please don't scroll down to the last picture in case you're not into that. I'm somehow sure that many of our readers will be particularly interested in the last picture, though...

The first picture was taken directly after a play session. I had actually asked for a “nice” spanking. Well, maybe I should have defined the term “nice” more clearly... The spanking had a gradual build-up, but I had to grit my teeth a lot nonetheless. When it was over, my eyes started to water a bit. I guess that was due to a mixture of relief that I had finally made it through and the process of releasing the tension that had built up inside me during the spanking. Most of the marks were gone the next day. But several small spots on my shoulder remained marked for a few more days.

This picture was taken some hours after what had been another first-time experience for me. The photo doesn't show the marks very clearly, but you might detect a rather big bruise on the upper right part of my palm and several smaller bruises on the lower and middle parts of my fingers. This time the bruising was actually my fault because I wasn't satisfied with the severity of the spanking at the beginning and wanted more. It was only later that I realised the bruising. Luckily the marks faded rather quickly and were gone after about one or two days.

The third and last marks picture was taken on the day after the spanking that had caused them. At this time the bruising was fully visible. As you can imagine, these marks were caused by one of the most (physically) severe spankings I ever have endured. It was embedded in a very special scenario and there is no need to worry about me at all. Actually I have seldom been as happy with a scene as I was and am with this one. And of course every possible safety measurement was taken before, during and after the spanking. I'm sure that the ice packs which were put on my bottom after the scene and the arnica ointment which I am still using every day will lead to a rather high healing rate. The marks have already started to fade. In fact I'm quite sure that most of them will be gone by the end of next week.

So, I'm curious to hear your suggestions about who/what caused the different marks shown in the three pictures. And of course you are going to hear more about their history in several upcoming posts which Ludwig and I are going to write about our holiday adventures!

Creatures in the Trees

Today is the first day of spring. Isn't that wonderful? Once again nature comes to life. The first flowers are beginning to bloom and the trees are getting new green leaves. And of course the fauna becomes more lively again as well. Just take a closer look and you can see all the animals sitting in the trees: 

Birds, …

… squirrels … 

… and, ahem, dachshunds??? 

Have a wonderful spring time everyone!

The Dirty Half-Dozen

Today, I am doing something I meant to do for a long time: re-organise my link list.

Three years ago, when I started this blog, I divided the blogs I linked to into two sections, one containing all the blogs written by spanking models ("Professional Victims"), the other containing the rest ("Other Kinky Blogs I read"). It was a decision that reflected my interest in spanking films, but with hindsight, I don't think it was a particularly good one. Simply put, spanking models don't necessarily write the most interesting blogs. Over the years, I have deleted a few that just were not up to par in terms of writing. And even among model bloggers who write well, there are those who do not post often enough to merit inclusion in a "top" section on the link list.

So, I have decided to abandon the model / non-model distinction. Instead, I am creating a new section called "Six of the Best", which contains my six favourite spanking blogs of the moment. I could have done a good old-fashioned "Top Ten", but six seems to be a more psychologically satisfying number in a spanking context, and it will be easier to fill up with new candidates if some of the old ones should drop out for whatever reason. Of course, the "Six of the Best" section will be subject to change, depending on developments in the blogosphere.

If your blog did not make it into the top section, don't be disappointed. It doesn't mean that you suck. It is simply a reflection of my personal interests. If you write a "diary-like" blog focusing very narrowly on your private kinky life, or a typical "couples" blog focusing on nothing but your relationship, then your chances of arousing my interest are limited, no matter how literate, funny and stylish your blog might be. But if you are a movie buff like me, or if you share my weakness for philosophical ramblings, your chances improve significantly.

Without further ado, here are my "Six of the Best" blogs as of March 2011:

The Spanking Writers by Abel and Haron. A veritable treasure trove of perversion. As of March 2011, the Spanking Writers are about to celebrate their fifth blogiversary (my congratulations in advance!), but their stream of spanking stories, historical CP scenarios, accounts of private play, and other delightful deviances continues on an almost daily basis. The Perverting Reality section is especially impressive, an eloquent testimony of how Abel and Haron are able to spot the seed of kink in even the most innocuous everyday event. (On a related note, Spanking Model Speaks by Haron's incarnation as Adele Haze is a great blog in its own right.)

Chross Guide To The Spanking Internet by Chross. Kaelah and I both prefer blogs that focus on writing and ideas to those that only showcase pretty visuals. But among pictures-and-clips blogs, Chross is the best one, so it gets a place among the "Six of the Best". The Spankings of the Week link posts are coveted among bloggers and have featured Rohrstock-Palast many times, which goes to show that Chross has good taste. But my favourite part of his work is, of course, his collection of spanking scenes from mainstream movies.

Not So Submissive by Indy. Known to many of us as a long-time, quality commenter, Indy started her own blog in December 2009. As one would expect, it turned out to be the best new one in a long, long time. In my view, one of Indy's main strengths is that she has a knack for finding noteworthy posts by other bloggers and then expanding on them with her ideas. However, the reports about her own spanking exploits are also well worth reading. The blog has become rather silent in recent months, let's hope that me featuring it among the "Six of the Best" helps to inspire a revival.

Spanked, Not Silenced by Pandora Blake. In my mind, Pandora has been writing the most consistently interesting spanking model blog ever since she started in mid-2006 (and after Niki Flynn's retirement from the Scene, there isn't even a serious rival anywhere in sight). I am most impressed by how prolific she is, churning out meaty, thought-provoking, high-quality texts with a regularity and a seeming effortlessness I wish I had. I usually find myself participating in the porn-political discussions, but Pandora's posts about more personal matters, her private kinky life and video shoots are excellent as well.

Spanked Hortic by Prefectdt. At first sight, Spanked Hortic might seem less remarkable than some of the other, flashier blogs on this list. However, what Prefectdt does better than most other bloggers I know is project a sense of fun and bubbly enthusiasm about spanking. Whenever I read his blog, I immediately find something that makes me smile, whether it is a remark on a funny drawing, a "Thought for the Week" or some other amusing tidbit. I loved the Kinky Island Discs series of interviews, a very original concept that sadly has not seen any new entries since 2008, but maybe there is hope for a return.

Zille Defeu's Fetish Fantasies by Zille Defeu. Believe it or not, but this is the oldest blog on my "Six of the Best" list. Having started in August 2005, Zille beats venerable Scene greats like The Spanking Writers by a solid seven-month margin. Which is all the more remarkable because, frankly, I had never heard of her until relatively recently (early 2009, I think). Zille is a) smart, b) sexy, c) a spanking and BDSM model, and d) a wonderful geek, and still, somehow, she managed to slip under my radar for the longest time. Well, no more! Into the top six she goes with her truly magnificent blog!

Awaiting Ludwig

Tomorrow Ludwig and I are going to be reunited. I've just made our bed and decorated it for him with these little items which I bought during our time of separation. Aren't they beautiful? I hope Ludwig will like them!

The great thing is, this time we don't only have the weekend, we will spend a full 1 ½ weeks together. And we will use the time to travel a bit and to meet kinky friends! Somehow I'm quite sure that at least a few of the items from my last shopping tour will make it into our luggage for the trip...

Oh, and in case some nitpicker wants to tell me that the bed sheets could be arranged more accurately – that would simply be a waste of time because once Ludwig is here they won't stay like that for long anyway, you see? Have a nice weekend, everyone!

Carnival Hand Spanking

This weekend is the height of the carnival season, the so-called Fifth-Season, here in Germany. So, a happy Fastnacht, Fasteleer, Fasching and Karneval everyone! Yes, we have several different regional words for this time of the year because having just one word would be too easy, you see? Carnival in Germany means costume balls, carnival shows with political and social comedy and of course carnival parades and people dancing in the street. At least in the region I come from. Most Bavarians would most probably only shake their heads in mild embarrassment, but of course I've already introduced Ludwig to our weird customs up here in the north...

Another great tradition is the “Old Women Day” which was last Thursday. Actually, this day is for all women, no matter how old they are. On Wikipedia, the origin and the customs of “Old Women Day” are explained as follows: "On Carnival Thursday (called 'Old Women Day' or 'The Women's Day'), in commemoration of an 1824 revolt by washer-women, women storm city halls, cut men's ties, and are allowed to kiss any man who passes their way."

In other words, this is the perfect day for all brats! Depending on their working place, women also cut their male colleagues' ties as well. I participated in this wonderful tradition for several years. Don't worry, usually the men wear their oldest ties on that special day and they can also buy their way out of it in case they still need their tie in one piece. In return they usually get a kiss, so I would say this could be called a classical win-win-situation!

Of course carnival is not only the time of exciting costumes everywhere but also a time for lots and lots of more or less useful gadgets. Flashing little hearts, false noses and generally everything that can be used to make noise or that has light effects. This year I came across the funny item which you see in the picture above. It makes a clapping sound when you shake it, it has a whistle and light effects. An all-in-one gadget, so to speak. And for us kinksters, it might of course be useful in other ways as well. With the help of the lights, you can spank the naughty brat who has just cut off your expensive tie and find the target even at the end of a long party day in an almost dark street or room...

I'm off now to dance somewhere in the streets. This time NOT on a window sill, though. For the record: I was inside, the window was closed and being almost a complete teetotaller I was absolutely sober when I did that. Okay, maybe the fact that I was sober doesn't make it any better?! Well, but that's a completely different story, anyway... Let me end today's post greeting you with the typical regional carnival battle cries: Alaaf, helau and ahoi!