Saturday, September 27, 2008

Seven Vices and a Survey

(Two surveys, actually, one for me and one for you.)

It seems that Michal "Altair" Valášek of Lupus Pictures has tagged me with the "Seven Deadly Sins". It's an internet meme where you are supposed to answer seven times seven questions on how much you engage in the Biblical capital vices (actually, the seven deadly sins aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible, but were laid out by Pope Gregory I in the sixth century). What a gorgeous idea. Who could be more qualified to expound on sinful behaviour than we spanko perverts? Thanks, Altair.

You can read his own answers here. Be sure to check out the entire Lupus blog, which is now being updated again after an extended summer break. There is also an online survey where you can let the werewolves know what you would like to see in their upcoming epics. The survey runs until October 8th and if you complete it, you will get a 5 Euro discount coupon for their web shop.

Below are my answers to the "Seven Deadly Sins" questionnaire, uncensored and gut-wrenchingly honest. Also overlength as usual, but fortunately that is not a capital vice according to Greg. Now I only have to infect three more bloggers to spread the meme and my soul will be saved. I'm hereby tagging Leia-Ann Woods, Pandora Blake and Prefectdt.

(Hieronymus Bosch, "The Seven Deadly Sins and the Four Last Things", 1485)

1. With whom did you last get angry?

I get angry with myself more frequently than with others. Incidentally, I did get a little cheesed off with someone last Monday. A person both clueless and impolite - doesn't that combination annoy you, too?

2. What is your weapon of choice?
I am interested in the results rather than the tool, so I use whatever gets me what I want in that particular situation. It could be a refined weapon, a "fun" one, deliberately crude, stealthy, whatever. Maybe "variety" is my weapon of choice?

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Of course. This is a spanking blog, what do you expect? I'm not a big fan of face slapping, though. I find it a bit ungentlemanly. There are some tops who can do it with style, but I always feel uncouth doing it.

4. How about the same sex?
I'm not into that. And I wouldn't hit anyone in anger, male or female. That's what the questions are really getting at, obviously. Hitting people in anger is uncool, I think. Not because of any moral scruples on my part, actually. But because it signifies a loss of self-control.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
Someone in an online debate who claimed that kinky role-play is immoral. I persistently dissected and exposed his simplistic, half-intellectual drivel. He didn't like it very much! But you know what they say about arguing over the internet. I may have won the argument, but I'm still retarded.

6. What is your pet peeve?
I don't have "pet peeves". I have major psychotic hatreds. Too many of them to just single out one.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
I used to keep grudges and I obsessed over them like I obsess over everything else. "God forgives, I don't!" That kind of macho crap. I find it easier to let them go now that I'm getting a bit older.

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?

Read a "proper book" as opposed to essays and thought fragments on the internet. But I could name a lot of things I'd want to do daily. I'm great at making New Year's pledges and setting very high standards for myself, then failing to meet them.

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
I'm a night owl, I prefer to work at night whenever I can. So while I'm usually busy with something, my schedule can get pretty chaotic. I've probably woken up at any hour of the day at some point. Eleven PM? Absolutely.

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
I could name a few. I tend to have the occasional reclusive phase where I just disappear for a few weeks or even months. My friends know that already. One particular person? Someone I knew in university, she is a music teacher now.

4. What is the last lame excuse that you made?
I try to be inventive in my excuses. The last really lame one was years ago, when I missed an essay deadline and just said that I had been ill. In truth, I was totally intimidated by the subject. I think writer's block is different from sloth, though. Or is that an excuse?

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones)?
What is an informercial? Those idiotic extended commercials they show on late night TV? Good lord, no. I don't watch TV at all.

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
Not too long ago, actually. I did a couple before we filmed the Comeuppance clip. Which had little to do with overcoming sloth and a lot with sudden "nudity panic". Nothing motivates you like good old-fashioned vanity. I hadn't worked out in years.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
Probably once. I don't remember.

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?

I don't drink yuppie beverages. Bavarian beer is overpriced enough these days, and I don't even drink a lot of that. Just water most of the time. I style myself as a Spartan.

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
Any, and yes, of course I am a meat eater. Who do you take me for, some kind of lame-ass hippie vegetarian? I'm civilised, I eat meat. Civilisation is based on killing things.

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
The greatest amount is probably one of those cases where I couldn't remember anything afterwards. You just recall going some place, meeting people, then there is a big black void, you wake up with the worst headache in the world and you have no idea how you got home. That only happened once or twice, but I'm still worried about the embarassing things I might have done.

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?

6. Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?

7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "lunch"?
No. This section is going by rather quickly. I'm afraid I am not a very good glutton.

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies / family)?

A few dozen if I include kinky parties and conventions. If I reduce it to more intimate encounters, six.

2. How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians / family)?
Thousands. Not counting movies, either? In that case, eight.

3. What is your favourite body part of a person of your gender of choice?
This is a spanking blog - make a guess! Having said that, I'm not sure I have a "favourite body part". Even when it's strictly about eye candy, I tend to look at the whole person/body. You know, the "holistic approach".

4. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
I'm not much of a breast man. I frequently find myself staring at bottoms, but that is difficult during a normal conversation. I love to be a gentleman and hold the door open for a lady, though.

5. Have you done it?
Yes. I was 24, a real late bloomer.

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
There was one funny incident in Italy. With my limited command of the language and with the whole thing taking place in a location where you don't expect it, it took me a rather long time to figure out what she wanted. At least then the world made sense again. I was totally mystified when this gorgeous girl just approached me out of the blue and started chatting. That doesn't normally happen.

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?

1. How many credit cards do you own?

Two, neither of which I use very often. I'm a cash person.

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
A bookstore.

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
I'd keep it all for myself, naturally. Okay, I would invite a few very good friends to dinner once in a while. But that's it. And can I have a million Euros instead of US dollars?

4. Would you rather be rich or famous?
Famous, but in the right way - lasting, transcendent, posthumous fame rather than fleeting popularity and the cheap adolation of the masses in one's own time. "Someone who is worthy of being rediscovered", as Monsieur Croche would have said. That's the kind of fame I'd like. I'm less picky with rich, I'll take that in any shape or form.

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?

6. Have you ever stolen anything?
A single time only. As a kid, I wondered if it was really possible to steal something and get away with it. I deliberately chose an inexpensive item, an eraser. I got away with it. Okay, the eraser had this really awesome design, like a rocketship. That was also part of the motive.

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
I still have most of my music on CD, actually. I need all the hard drive space I can spare for spanking movies.

1. What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of?

In the last couple of years, I managed to tear down some long-standing barriers I had erected around myself. For the most part, I'm just glad I did that, but also a bit proud, because it was a very scary thing at the time and cost me quite an effort.

2. What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
They never placed much importance on official accomplishments, never put much pressure on me. They just wanted me to live the life I want and be happy. Having said that, they were pretty proud of my university degree. I found that getting it was easy, so I'm not that proud of it myself.

3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
Again, what Monsieur Croche says. He's the alter ego of Claude Debussy, by the way, for those of you who are not into classical music. I'd like to be worthy of a rediscovery. It's not just about fame and satisfying one's ego. It's about leaving something behind that others can enjoy, or even build on.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
I have a competitive streak, but of a more private nature. I choose certain people who are very skilled or very impressive at something as paradigms, then I strive to surpass them. It could be anything, someone who writes with great clarity or a caning technique I see in a CP film. I compete with that on a virtual level. Winning or losing don't matter, simply having the competitive mentality as a driving force does. "I'm going to do what you do, better than you!"

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
I'm not very interested in actual face to face competitions with prizes and all that. I definitely never entered one where I already knew I was the best. Where would the challenge be in that?

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
I don't think so. Maybe I cheated at Ludo when I was six. Back then, winning was important and I used to throw fits when I lost.

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
I don't accomplish something I am proud of every single day. Does anyone? By definition, the "outstanding" things are those you don't manage every day! Unless you are just "proud to be a decent person" or some quaint self-praise like that.

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?

In case of some of my friends, their experiences. The good ones, that is, but I'll also take the bad ones if I can only have the whole package. The experiences are the most precious, tantalising items I can think of.

2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
Headmaster Pavel Stastny. To "redecorate" the posteriors of some of the victims who visit his magnificent study.

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
There are a lot of people I'd like to trade places with for a day or two, but I wouldn't really want to be somebody else. It's fairly interesting to be me. I'm happy with that.

4. Have you ever been cheated on?
In a relationship, I don't think so. Ever since I'm in the kinky community, I've only had open, non-possessive relationships, anyway, which is what I've always wanted.

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
There are a couple of things where I wouldn't mind a slight change. But I'm content overall and I don't obsess over physical things. Except when I have an FM film clip coming up, in which case I get totally neurotic. Suddenly, I find myself noticing and caring about physical features I didn't know I had, all of them unflattering.

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
The natural, effortless authority and aura of intimidation exuded by some tops. Mind you, the kink is not about authority for me. But it's nonetheless a trait I would love to have.

7. Finally, what is your favourite deadly sin?
I like lust the most. But no matter how much I get of it, I find that envy is still the deadly sin I engage in the most. That really bugs me!


Anonymous said...

Well, you're a sarky bugger, aren't you? Still - good answer with the "worthy of rediscovery" quote by M. Croche.

Ludwig said...

Me, sarcastic? Naaaah!

The quote is not a literal one, but it captures the spirit of what Debussy wanted to express, I think. Here is what he lets Monsieur Croche say - I'm translating from the German version, which is of course a translation of the French original...

"Do you know a more beautiful feeling than lifting, by coincidence, the secret of a man who has remained unrecognised for centuries? To have been such a man - that is the only valid kind of fame!"

Indy said...

This is the most interesting web questionnaire I've seen. Not sure I could answer it as honestly as you have-- at least not publicly!

Ludwig said...

It's funny you should say that, Indy. When I was musing about who to tag next, I thought to myself: "You know who would be a really interesting subject for this? Indiana!" I actually considered asking you if you would like to do it and offering you the blog for your answers.

But I decided against it in the end. For one thing, I am supposed to pass the meme on to other bloggers only, that seems to be the rule. As well as that, I expected that you would be reluctant to bare your sinful soul in public.

Indy said...

OK, Ludwig, I'll bare my sinful soul privately when I have a little time to answer such a long questionnaire. And I'm really looking forward to reading the responses of the bloggers you've tagged.