Kaelah's Corner (Oct 2011): Morgen

Morgen, ja morgen,
fang i a neues Leben an.
Und wenn net morgen,
dann übermorgen,
oder zumindest irgendwann,
fang i wieder a neues Leben an.

Tomorrow, yes tomorrow,
I will start a new life.
If not tomorrow
then the day after tomorrow
or at least one day
I will start a new life again.

This is a snippet from a very touching song of the Austrian band EAV about an alcohol addict. Of course, he never starts this new life he dreams about. But I think the lyrics do not just apply to what many addicts do. In my opinion many people live, or more precisely, spend their lives like that.

Of course there are many reasons for delaying major changes. One reason that is often mentioned are the risks that go along with changing one's life. Life is full of risks. One can lose anything and anyone, any time. There are no guarantees.

Except for one, and that is the fact that we all have to die. Sooner or later. Sometimes sooner than we hope for. I don't believe in an afterlife, so for me the end of my life on Earth will be the end of my existence.

After my mum's early death, these are things I have become very aware of. They accompany me every day. The have taken away the naive trust that everything will always be okay in the end. But they have made me see my life and the risks that I take in a new light as well.

Quitting one's job to do something one really wants to do is risky. Taking a plane to see other parts of the world isn't 100 percent safe, either. Writing a comment on a kinky blog and coming out to the kinky community can cost quite an effort. Sharing one's spanking fantasies with someone whom one has met online can be risky as well. Trying out one's fantasies for real holds the risk of disappointment. Giving someone one's love and trust might end in betrayal. Building a love relationship is a tricky task. Posting about one's fantasies online and even showing one's face definitely involves a risk of being outed one day.

But how big are all these risks in the light of mortality? How much is lost by not living out one's dreams, and how rewarding can it be to give it a try?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those persons who only live in the here and now and don't give a damn about the future. I try to do my best to make sure that my future is as safe and well-planned as possible. But maybe the financial markets will crash completely in the next years and I will lose all my financial securities. Maybe there will be violent clashes. Maybe I will become ill. Then at least I want to have lived my life and my dreams as well as I could without having permanently worried about what the future might bring.

Again, I'm not one of those “You have to try out everything in your life at least once!” people. I have never been drunk. I have never smoked even one single cigarette. I have never taken any drugs. And I miss none of these experiences.

But I would miss the things which I have learned in my professional life. I would miss having seen a bit of this beautiful planet and having been to certain events like concerts of my favourite bands. I would miss this blog. I would miss my kinky life. I would miss the experience of suddenly feeling womanly and sexy. And above all I would miss Ludwig and the experience of our relationship and love.

I'm lucky in that I had a wonderful childhood. I'm lucky in that many of my choices as an adult turned out to be good. But even the ones that didn't work out as planned had at least some positive outcome, in one way or another.

I'm not a fan of blindly taking risks. But like someone told me recently: If you have trust, you can do almost anything that is important to you and it will work out. I might not have that naive trust any more, but I have learned to trust in myself and in the fact that if one way proves to be a dead end, there is usually another path that makes it possible to go on.

I'm glad that my gut feeling told me to take a few risks. I can't say that I would be able to die happily now, without the feeling of having missed out on some important things. For example, I haven't had the chance to raise a family, yet. But I will, if I am lucky enough to have some more time. For now, I'm very happy that I've already done a lot things which were important to me.

I'm also very glad about the friends I have, kinky and vanilla. Friends who like me the way I am. Friends who invite me to share time with them. Friends who organize Halloween Parties and find it cool when I turn up in fetish outfits (photos to come soon). Sharing time with beloved people is a great way to spend one's precious time! (Whereas spending time with people one doesn't like is a great way of wasting it.)

I hope you all have some wonderful friends to share Halloween (or Reformation Day, in case you are celebrating that) with. And I hope you have taken at least a few risks in your life that proved to be worth it. If not, today is your chance! Remember, tomorrow might be too late. Happy Halloween, everyone!

Made To Be Submissive

“Don't fall asleep, you've still got some work to do this evening.”, Ludwig announced as we were heading home after a long day in the city. I had just admitted my tiredness by yawning heartily. My mind immediately formed a mental picture of the kind of work Ludwig meant. But like the days before I was rather in the mood for cuddling. And so I decided not to give any answer and to wait and see what was going to happen instead. Maybe Ludwig would become tired as well at the sight of a warm, cosy bed...

Of course he didn't. Sitting on the bed, Ludwig looked at me and asked: “Do you have anything that could be used as a blindfold?” I thought about his question for a moment, finally answered yes and  brought him a suitable item. “But I need to go to the bathroom first.” And so I went off.

Inside the bathroom, the different voices in my head were having a vivid discussion. “I'm not in the right mood for sex, and especially not for any more edgy games.” - “But you have been in a cuddling-only mood for a while now, just give it a try!” - “What if I don't manage to get into the right mood and have to stop the scene? Wouldn't it be fair to tell Ludwig in advance that I'm not in the right mindset?” - “And destroy everything in advance without having tried? After all, Ludwig thought about the blindfold because it caters to YOUR fantasies. Do you really think he will be less disappointed if you say no right from the beginning?”

The last voice won. As the more regular readers of this blog already know I am what Bogey so aptly calls a “bedroom submissive”. Which means that during rather sexual scenes between Ludwig and me, I like to give up control and relax. That's why I love being tied up and blindfolded. But I'm not really submissive in the sense that I only want to please my partner. I rather like scenes in which Ludwig actually does things to me which I enjoy as well, even if the scenario implies that he does things which please only him. Still, I have to be in a certain mindset for that and I wasn't sure whether I would manage to get there that evening. But I was determined to give it a try.

So, I went back to the bedroom again and waited for Ludwig's next announcement. “Do you have a hair tie? Go and fetch it.” I did as I was told and started to tie my hair back when I returned to the bed. “No!” Ludwig bent me forward and gave me a few slaps. “I said: Fetch it! And not: Tie your hair back. I want you to strip first. Fold your clothes neatly together and put them aside.”

As most of you know, I love rituals. And I had told Ludwig that I liked the thought of someone neatly folding their clothes before a spanking. Despite of the voices that were still in my head, I followed Ludwig's order and tried to focus on the soothing effect of the ritual and the orderliness which went along with it.

“Now you can tie back your hair and put on the blindfold as well.” I was kneeling on the bed before Ludwig and did as I was told. After having put the blindfold on, different emotions went through my mind. A certain tense, resistance, the urge to cry and an idea of surrender. But I didn't have much time to ponder these feelings because Ludwig spoke up again: “Stretch out your right hand.” A hand spanking? That was not what I had expected. I felt reluctant because I realised that I wasn't in the mood for pain, either. But my brain told my body to obey.

Instead of a smack I felt Ludwig's hand taking mine and carefully guiding me over the bed. “Now lie down on your stomach, hands above your head.” Again I did as I was told. I heard Ludwig unbuckle his belt and a few seconds later he gently touched my body with it, the belt wandering up and down. So it would be a belting. I tried to prepare myself for Ludwig's heavy belt, hoping that the strokes wouldn't be too unbearable.

But then the belt was gone. Ludwig had put it aside. He sat down on the bed and started to caress and tickle me. I was baffled. That was not what I had expected. I love tickling! On our first play weekend I already showed Ludwig how much I enjoy my arms being tickled. I already loved that as a child when cuddling with my parents. Tickling has an instantly soothing effect on me.

“But don't fall asleep!”, Ludwig reminded me, “Focus on my touch.” I did. Bit by bit my body relaxed and so did my mind. The voices fell silent, except for the one that uttered amazement about how well my partner knew me and how much he cared about me. Soon I was in a completely submissive mindset, willing to be dominated and in the mood for making love.

I wasn't even sure whether there was a hand-spanking after the tickling when I wrote this post or whether I was mixing up two different scenes. I was so much into Ludwig's hands at the time that it is all a bit of a blur. But Ludwig confirmed to me afterwards that there was a hand-spanking, and so now I'm sure that it was the one which I had in mind and which I really enjoyed. And while Ludwig lived out his dominant fantasies with me later on, he made sure that I got my share of joy as well.

Some bottoms like to be forced or spanked into submission. This will hardly ever work for me. Being tickled and caressed into submission on the other hand definitely does!

Ka mate! Ka mate! Ka ora! Ka ora!

Today was the final day of the Rugby World Cup 2011 in New Zealand. The last game ended just a few minutes ago. For those of you who are as unfamiliar with that sports as I was before it raised my interest a while ago, just a short explanation. It is a bit like American Football (which originates from rugby), just for real men. Means, no protection gear and stuff like that. Hey, what would spanking be if we decided to wear protection gear???

My congratulations go the All Blacks, the members of New Zealand's national rugby team, who have just had the French team for breakfast! Okay, to be fair, the French proved to be absolutely worthy opponents who gave the All Blacks a really hard time. The match could also have ended in their favour. But the final score was 8:7 against them.

I don't only like the All Blacks because they are damn good, but also because they perform the Maori haka Ka Mate. You can see it in the picture above. Hakas are traditional war dances. The first lines of the Ka Mate haka are “Ka mate! Ka mate! Ka ora! Ka ora!” which can be translated as “It is death! It is death! It is life! It is life!” or “I may die! I may die! I may live! I may live!”.

You are still asking yourself why I like rugby and why I write about it here? I give you some hints: Thirty muscular men fighting for victory and honour in a game that involves speed, tactics and finesse, but also pure power and the will to beat your opponent's ass. Guys who see themselves as warriors. Lots of ritual and even a warrior dance. Really, how could I find that NOT exciting? It caters to my kinky M/M preference as well as my warrior fantasies. Just like Pro Wrestling and Sumo in their own ways, but that is stuff for different posts.

I'm not sure whether I would be more interested in watching the celebration of the All Blacks, though, or in sneaking into the locker room of the French team to see what is going on there. You see, as rugby is a sport for real men, I assume that the training methods aren't soft, either. And since the French have dropped the ball right before the finish line, so to speak, I guess some proper motivation for the next World Cup is needed. I'm sure that their coach won't let them get away with some mere love taps. I can already hear the swishing sound of the cane, followed by nothing else than heavy breathing and some suppressed gasps. Rugby players are tough guys after all...

Kinky Hotel: The Swimming Pool

During our trip to the US and to Shadow Lane, Ludwig and I found some sweet spots in our hotels that invited us to take some sexy / kinky pictures. I'm going to show you the first set of them today. Of course, having an outdoor pool in the sun is always great. Especially if it isn't overcrowded!

For me, swimming is a wonderful exercise. It makes me feel refreshed and it is a good workout at the same time. But of course, one can also have a lot of fun fooling around in a pool. Ludwig and I did both, swimming lanes and making fun.

One activity to irritate your swimming partner which I can highly recommend is forming a triangle with your hands and starting to hum the musical theme of Jaws while chasing the other person, pretending to be a shark. The only risk: I nearly drowned because I laughed so hard when I chased Ludwig and the same thing happened to me when he turned the tables and started hunting me...

Swimming pools are of course also nice places for kinky play and common settings for spanking clips. Girls and boys in swimming suits are always a favourite. Unfortunately, real action was out of question in our hotel pool since there were too many people around. But at least we managed to take a few quick snapshots when we were alone for a short while.

A spanking under water might have gone unnoticed, but, well, due to the water resistance it doesn't really work. That's why spanking storylines involving a swimming pool usually only start there while the spankings take place on the edge or somewhere outside of the pool. Underwater spanking could provide a good workout for the spanker, though. Maybe it's an idea for a new sports trend?

Have you made any experiences with pool spankings in private play? In a private or even in a public pool? And has anyone of you managed to spank someone in the pool itself (with or without any tools)?

Being and Seeing

One little item at the Shadow Lane party gave me a lot to think about. It's the name cards everyone wore in order to make conversation easier. The little tags not only showed the name, they also gave information on the spanking preferences of their carrier. There were four options one could choose: “dom”, “sub”, “switch” or “other”.

Of course one might already debate the choice of the words“dom” and “sub” instead of, for example, “top” and “bottom”. I've been told that Eve, our Shadow Lane host, is of the opinion that “top” and “bottom” might imply a hierarchy and an according difference in value, which is why she uses “dom” and “sub”. Others like me simply interpret “top” and “bottom” as descriptive terms that  express on which side someone prefers to play, while “dom” and “sub” say something about the intention and attitude someone has during a scene. I've already written about my understanding of these different labels here, though, and that is not the point I would to discuss today.

What I found highly interesting, however, was how much the choice of one's label says about how people see themselves. Most of the people I know consider themselves either predominantly a top or predominantly a bottom. But most of them also switch, at least from time to time. Interestingly, these people made very different choices when it came to ticking one of the label boxes and that's what aroused my curiosity.

As you can see in the picture above, Ludwig introduced himself at the party as a “dom” (although he too prefers “top”), while I chose the “switch” option. I guess that there are several reasons why Ludwig didn't choose the “switch” label as well. First of all, Ludwig is of course predominantly a top. He does switch, but only on very rare occasions, and he is very picky about the people who get to top him. Without exception, it is either for video clips or for me in private. So, chances for him to bottom on any occasion during the party were virtually zero. Why use a “switch” label then? And last but not least, even when Ludwig switches, he does it with an attitude which he calls auto-aggressive sadism or self-sadism. That means he doesn't really explore the scene in a bottom mindset. Instead, he appreciates the resulting reactions and marks on a video clip from a top perspective. Another reason for him not to choose “switch” as a label.

I, on the other hand, am predominantly a bottom. But, playing on the top side from time to time as well is very important for me. The fact that I switch in my relationship with Ludwig means a lot to me because it shows me that Ludwig trusts me enough to give himself into my hands and that there is no one-sided power dynamics between the two of us, not even in our kinky play. In many of my fantasies, especially the M/M ones, I also switch between the mindsets of the top and the bottom characters, even though the bottom perspective might be slightly more important for me most of the time. And third, when it comes to kinky play at parties and with others than Ludwig, I have more fantasies about and feel a bit more comfortable with playing as a top than as a bottom. In conclusion, switching is very important for my self-image as well as for my public persona, and I feel much more comfortable with the label “switch” than with the label “bottom” (or worse, “sub”).

A lot of different choices could be seen among our friends, though. Paul for example, despite of switching about as rarely as Ludwig does, and I think also almost exclusively with Mija, chose the “switch” label. When Mija brought up the topic, he explained that it didn't matter how often he switched, the only thing that mattered to him when he chose the label was that he switched at all.

Indy and Mija both introduced themselves as bottoms. Indy with the additional hand-written comment “kind of”, though, which I think says everything about this woman and her special attitudes. The label “bottom” of course didn't keep Mija from topping Indy at the party – and Indy's account of the scene clearly shows that Mija definitely has a toppy side as well!

I was especially curious to see which label Leia-Ann Woods had chosen. After all, she plays a lot on both sides and tops very often nowadays. To my surprise, her name tag said “bottom”, though. So, this is either how Leia-Ann sees herself (predominantly) or how she wanted to be seen at the party.

Looking at these different examples, I think that there are several aspects that determine how we present ourselves at a public event like a party and which labels we chose. First of all and I guess most importantly, there are our own fantasies and general play preferences. Secondly the choice can of course also reflect a person's momentary mood and which kind of play someone is looking for right at the time.

But I think there is more to it than that. In my opinion, it is also about how we want to be seen in public, by the people we know and especially by those whom we meet for the first time. For example, I've heard that there are often more male bottoms at spanking parties than female tops and that the females who are willing to top are in great demand. This might keep some women from ticking the “switch” box if they don't want to be constantly asked to top others. My own choice was determined by similar motives. One of the reasons why I didn't introduce myself as a bottom was that I wanted to keep away any men who belonged to the “spanking is naturally always M/F” and the “I want a woman who finds satisfaction in submitting or being made to submit to a man” faction because this is an attitude I don't feel comfortable with.

Maybe there are even more variables that influence one's choice for a certain label at a public event? So, I would like to ask our dear readers about your thoughts on labels at spanking parties: How would you introduce yourself and why?  Anyone who would choose the “other” option? Would you add any handwritten comment on your name tag? Has anyone made special experiences with the different labels at parties? And, last but not least, which value and how much influence do the labels on the name cards have at all for you at spanking parties? You are all very welcome to share your thoughts, ideas and experiences in the comment section!

Kaelah's Corner (Sep 2011): Objects In The Rear View Mirror...

In a few minutes the last lesson of the day would begin. We were standing in the corridor in front of our classroom, a bunch of girls and boys aged about fourteen. Suddenly, one of the cool kids had an idea: “Hey, let's all skip class. The teacher is a jerk, anyway.” Within seconds the word spread. And everyone seemed to agree.

Then, someone said: “But Andrea and Kaelah, you two won't come with us, right?” At once, all pairs of eyes focussed on my best friend and me. We were inseparable, two kindred spirits fighting against the rest of the world. And our points of view didn't always fit to what the rest of our classmates thought. So, the assumption that we might not be game wasn't unfounded.

I didn't have to think very long. Indeed I wouldn't go with them. Not because I liked that particular teacher more than the others did. Just because skipping class didn't feel like the right thing to do for me. Had anyone come up with an idea for a funny prank like in the books that I loved to read... But simply running away?

Andrea and I maybe wanted to skip school once, shortly before our graduation, to see how it felt. But spontaneously, just because someone thought it was a funny idea? No, thank you. Group pressure and group activities weren't my thing, anyway. After all, I considered myself a human being, not a sheep.

It was Andrea who spoke up, though: “I don't know what K's going to do, but I am going to come with you.” That definitely was not what I had expected. I was stunned. But I didn't change my mind. I had my beliefs and I wasn't good at changing them from one second to another. It's still something that doesn't work well for me today.

A few seconds later I was still standing in the corridor, alone. The others including Andrea were gone. This was the day I lost my best friend. A day that has influenced me a lot. And a day that has defined limits for my kink as well.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't tell you this story in order to discuss any ethical questions or questions of guilt with you. Both, Andrea and I, had to make a spontaneous decision. I hadn't been aware that she had obviously become more and more unhappy in the role of an outsider. Skipping class with the others was her chance to participate in a group activity and to gain more acceptance from our classmates.

And I? Looking at it from today's perspective, having skipped one lesson wouldn't have been as evil as I considered it to be when I was fourteen years old. I still don't find it very cool and I would still prefer a funny prank, but I know that it wouldn't have caused the world to stop. At the time it felt wrong, though, and I wouldn't have been able to look in the mirror the next morning had I decided against my beliefs. And so I stayed behind.

Of course, at the time, Andrea's decision felt like betrayal to me. And it conjured one of my greatest fears: Being left behind by a person I trust because they decide that I'm not cool enough for them and that being accepted by others is more important than staying at my side.

It was this special fear that caused some initial difficulties in Ludwig's and my relationship, especially concerning kinky activities.

As you all know, Ludwig had played with different people before we met and he had just started making films when we became a couple. At that time, film-making was very important to him and he had a mental list of producers and models he wanted to work with. I, on the other hand, had never played with anyone else than Ludwig, and didn't have any intention to do so. The idea of making spanking clips had also never occurred to me before I met Ludwig.

Ludwig had already started his journey in the kinky community, though, and again I had to make a decision: Coming with him or staying outside. This time I wanted to become a part of the community Ludwig belonged to. And I wanted to be seen as Ludwig's partner in the kinky community.

Since Ludwig was a public persona and had already published spanking clips with other women, the wish to be seen as his equal partner led to my desire to make clips that had to be at least as important to Ludwig as the ones which he had made with others. That's why I started making clips, despite of knowing that this was something that I did primarily in order to feel like a part of Ludwig's community and to mark my territory, not something that I sought so much for myself.

Ludwig took my concerns re clip making very seriously and never pushed me. But at the same time he was of the opinion that partners who really love each other give each other as much freedom as possible. For him, making spanking clips was something completely different from our private play as partners, something creative and artistic rather than something sexual. And of course the storylines were much more interesting to him the more people and variety were involved. So, the list of producers and models remained. I was very welcome to join Ludwig, but he still wanted his film-scenes with others as well.

Dealing with this took me a long time because the situation brought up my old fears. I had the feeling that, despite of this time having made the decision to follow Ludwig instead of staying behind, this still wasn't enough. I felt that I wasn't enough, that Ludwig still wanted his own experiences with others who were cooler than me in order to show off in front of the community.

It took me a while to understand what was going on with me and to explain the situation to Ludwig. Luckily, the issues disappeared step by step. I found out that I liked making spanking clips, even though only within certain limits. Ludwig and I developed film projects that worked for both of us and that included others as well. And, last but not least, the landscape of producers and models in the scene changed and film-making became less important for Ludwig, so that he didn't mind not doing the one or other project that might have been outside my comfort zone.

The second kinky aspect that was influenced by my fear, though, was private play with others. In the beginning this was something that I didn't seek, anyway, and an idea I didn't feel comfortable with. This never was a big problem, though, because Ludwig wasn't too keen on playing with others in private, either. Not that he didn't like the idea, but it wasn't as important for him as film-making.

But over time, as I realised how much I liked making clips and posting kinky pictures, at least the idea of playing in front of others developed a certain appeal. Still I was reluctant to try it for real. The reason was that I was afraid of getting the feeling that Ludwig and I, being top and bottom, were standing on opposite sides during the scene and that he and the spectators were having fun at my expense. I knew that even the typical little mockery that tops do during a scene could cause that feeling with me, and I didn't want to take that risk.

Again, Ludwig and I talked a lot about this. And we came to the conclusion that it might work after all. We only had to find a fitting scenario. A scene in which he used me as a kind of demonstration object which he proudly presented to the spectators came to our minds. Or a scene with a kind of double-agent storyline, in which Ludwig spanked me in front of others, but behind the scenes we were working together and it would be us against the rest of the world.

Interestingly, we finally didn't need any of these special storylines. At Shadow Lane, I suddenly felt ready not only to play in front of others, but also with others. I think it is still something that I only long for within certain limits and nothing that I have to do every time I meet other kinksters. But after my Shadow Lane experience I'm sure that playing in front of or with others on special occasions will bring me a lot of fun that I don't want to miss out on.

But why is it suddenly possible for me to try these things? I have thought about this question and came to the conclusion that it has to do with different factors: My own kinky experiences, the development of Ludwig's and my relationship and the friendships that I have developed in our community.

First of all, writing this blog and posting pictures and clips has made me a lot more self-confident. From our clip-making experiences I also know that playing with others (at least the way Ludwig and I do it) is something completely different from our play as a couple, and I don't have to be afraid that another woman could become more important to Ludwig than I am.

Over time I have come to trust Ludwig to know me well enough to take care of me and to avoid things that could make me feel bad in a scene. I also know that he won't push me and that trying something out once doesn't mean that I have to do it permanently in the future. That means that I can always listen to my gut feeling and see whether I'm in the right mood for play.

Last but not least, at the Shadow Lane party I also trusted the people we played with and knew that they would never push me and that I wouldn't ever develop the feeling that they made fun of me. They might watch with a sadistic glee, but it would always be affectionate sadism and that is of course something completely different from having fun at someone else's expense.

Still, certain fears will always remain a part of me. And certain scenarios surely won't ever hold any appeal for me because they would bring up negative memories and emotions. But talking openly about everything, developing ideas of things that could work and learning how to treat and to trust each other in my relationship with Ludwig made it possible for me to try out new kinky activities, despite of my fears. I'm curious to see what the future will bring. I'll surely find out, at my own pace and with the partner I trust.

Prisoner of Alcatraz

 

On our way to the Shadow Lane party, Ludwig and I landed in prison. More precisely, in one of the most notorious prisons ever, Alcatraz! We had used our trip the USA not only to meet friends at the party but also to do some sightseeing on the west coast. Now, I'm not too keen on kinky prison scenarios, but even for me Alcatraz was a must. And of course I hoped to be able to take the one or other kinky photo there.

Alcatraz has a very exciting history, and not only as the island that hosted one of the most famous prisons of all times. It all starts with the interesting fact that Alcatraz (island of the pelicans / seabirds) was originally the name of an island next to today's Alcatraz. But then a British sailor confused the two islands, and so they changed their names!

The first building on Alcatraz was a U.S. Army fortress which was built during the California Gold Rush in order to protect the San Francisco Bay. From 1861 Alcatraz housed Civil War prisoners. In 1867 a brick jailhouse was built on the island and from 1868 until 1933 Alcatraz was used as a military prison.

By then the need for a high security civil prison had arisen, though, and Alcatraz suited that purpose perfectly. Not because of any sharks that lived in the water around the islands, as legends sometimes say, but because the water was so cold that it was nearly impossible to survive an  attempt. So, on January 1st 1934, the famous United States Penitentiary Alcatraz Island was opened.

During its usage as a prison from 1934 to 1963, Alcatraz housed some of the most well-known and most notorious criminals of the time, such as Al Capone, Robert Franklin Stroud (the “Birdman”) and George “Machine Gun” Kelley. In Alcatraz prisoners weren't names, though, but numbers. The rules were rather simple. The most important rule for every inmate was the following: “You are entitled to food, clothing, shelter and medical attention. Anything else that you get is a privilege.”

The most famous escape from Alcatraz featured Frank Morris and the brothers John and Clarence Anglin. They had dug tunnels through the back walls of their cells until they broke through to a corridor. Then one night they placed fake heads and bodies in their beds and escaped through the corridor and over the roof of the prison. Their bodies were never found, but it is very likely that they didn't survive the escape and drowned. But of course their story makes people wonder and fantasize and so it isn't a big surprise that it was used as film material. In the movie “Escape from Alcatraz” from 1979 non other than Clint Eastwood stars as Frank Morris.

From 1969 to 1971 Alcatraz played an important role in a completely different important historical event. A group of Native Americans calling themselves the “United Indians of All Tribes” occupied the island as part of their fight for improvements to the situation of Native Americans in the US. Despite of finally having to give up after 19 months due to the difficult living conditions on the island, they managed to raise a lot of awareness and to strengthen the rights of Native Americans.

Most of the visitors who come to Alcatraz today are of course especially interested in visiting the prison, though. And there are many visitors who come to Alcatraz each day! As a matter of fact, one has to buy tickets several days in advance, otherwise only very expensive combo tickets are available, and even those are sold out quickly.

Ludwig and I were lucky to get two tickets, and so we started a fascinating tour into history. Only some days later did I find out that we weren't the only kinksters who did the tour. Leia-Ann Woods has written a report about her Alcatraz experience as well. It would have been very funny had we bumped into one another on Alcatraz!

The island is very beautiful and the prison is indeed impressive. And of course it also triggers kinky fantasies! As you can imagine, it isn't really easy to take any kinky pictures with all the other people around. But those who know me a bit might have realised that I can be quite stubborn if I want something. Ludwig can definitely tell you stories about that character trait of mine...

And so, you can not only see me behind bars in the picture at the top of this post and in one of the small cells in the second picture, wearing my fitting “Hotel Alcatraz” t-shirt that reads: “The Hotel Alcatraz: Guaranteed room with a view, 24 hour security, lifetime accommodations, catering to select clientèle, bars in every room, all drinks are on the rock”. We also managed to shoot the picture below that I like very much. It was taken in one of the dark isolation cells prisoners were brought to when they had really messed up.

Obviously I must have done something that calls for serious discipline and the shadow in the door bodes ill... Isn't it great when one can combine historical studies with kinky fantasies?!