Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Kaelah's Corner (Jan 2015):
From a Distance

(Lazarus. My favourite picture of all time on this blog.)

This is the fourth part of my series about my experiences in my time as a kinky blogger. You can read the first three parts here, here and here.

My fourth year of blogging started with my favourite picture ever which I created in a self-portraying session. I know that it's rather disturbing, even for Ludwig, the horror fan, and I really love it! It was a time when Ludwig and I made and published lots of kinky pictures on this blog. You can see several of them in this post.

There weren't only pictures, though. With our readers' help I got a nice blogiversary spanking which we filmed and published for free on this blog. The readers were still very active at that time. Our LOL Day post for instance got 59 comments which resulted in a severe LOL Day switching for me, since the voters decided that I and not Ludwig should be on the receiving end of the rod.

I also posted a fictional spanking story in three parts (part 1, part 2, part 3) that year, called Girls will be Boys. There were philosophical ramblings as well, for instance about the relationship between spanking, BDSM and domestic discipline. And I wrote a very tongue in cheek post titled Ban Porn, Save Our Women and Children.

While the blog was still very active, life was changing. Ludwig and I still occasionally wrote about our private kinky exploits, for instance about the lost bag. But kink and sex in general started to play a more and more minor role in our relationship. I didn't really recognize it at the time and I didn't really miss it, either. Taking kinky pictures, writing about kink, plus the occasional private scene with Ludwig was enough to keep me happy. Ludwig and I shared so many other important things like deep conversations, fantastic holiday trips and simply a good time together that I didn't miss the sexual intensity which we had shared at the beginning of our relationship.

Ludwig's interest in kink, sexual adventures and his public kinky life as a blogger also decreased which he explained wonderfully in his post on his fifth blogiversary: "I am with Kaelah now, and while we met through kink and it continues to be an important part of our lives, our love is based on other, much more important things. While kink is still significant to me, it is much less significant than it was five years ago. I think less about it than I used to. I watch less spanking porn than I used to. And I don't feel like I have to prove anything through blogging or making videos. There are things I would still dearly love to do, but none where I feel that I have to do them in order to be happy in my kink. Actually, I shall be quite happy to retire from my public kinky life eventually."

I think in Ludwig's case, the diminishing interest in kinky porn, making videos and blogging also had to do with the fact that the kinky video industry had changed and longer movies with a storyline and proper action had become rarer. Lupus Pictures closed down completely. Mood Pictures had started to release videos again, but much less frequently than they used to. We spent a wonderful evening with Pedro in Budapest, but Ludwig's interest in reviewing videos or participating in their making had become less strong. Plus, many models who had been active bloggers so far stopped writing or blogged less frequently than they used to.

I had a slightly different but rather similar experience. I started to realise that it is hard to stay in contact with kinky friends and to share a deep friendship if one lives so far away from each other. For Ludwig and me, it wasn't possible to easily attend parties in the US or meet our fellow bloggers and online friends regularly. In addition to that, Twitter and Tumblr were the new attractions and the attention for traditional blogs began to fade. Several friends stopped blogging or at least wrote less posts and comments. That made me sad because I like to have relationships that involve a certain closeness and I realised that building those in the kinky online community is difficult, especially with people who live in a different country.

And then there were new private challenges as well at the end of my fourth year as a blogger which proved to be very time-consuming and emotionally stressful. That led to anxiety attacks and was the beginning of a difficult time for both Ludwig and me. More about that in the next edition of Kaelah's Corner.


Anonymous said...

I am curious what role actually Ludwig prefer is spankee(masochism) or spanker(sadism)? And Kaelah your actually favorite is...?

Your loyal fans ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

Gustofur said...

Yeah, I am going to miss your blog. Will you join Twitter?

Kaelah said...

@ Anonymous:
Ludwig is mostly a top and only switches from time to time. I would say that for me it is almost 50/50, I love topping as much as bottoming, depending on the situation I sometimes prefer the one or other role.

@ Gustofur:
I haven't figured out, yet, what I will do exactly to stay in contact with my kinky friends. Joining Twitter might be one way!