Thursday, January 1, 2009

New Year Resolutions 2009

A happy new year to you all! I hope you had a "guten Rutsch", a "good slide" into 2009, as we say in German.

May it turn out to be a fine year, especially for us corporal punishment fetishists. With much striking of bottoms with canes, whips, paddles, birches and other instruments of correction (and preferably without any of the idiotic tabloid garbage we had in 2008 - I'm of the opinion that we spankos deserve a bit of extra good fortune now to make up for that sordid affair). As always, I'm curious to see what fate has in store for us these next twelve months.

Have you made any new year resolutions? The most common ones are out for me - I don't have a problem with my weight, I don't drink much alcohol, I already quit smoking and I don't have a habit of over-spending money, so there is no need to change anything there. As kinky people, we should strive to come up with something more out of the ordinary, anyway. So after a bit of thinking, I've laid out the following goals for me, which I'm going to share with you here.

Five Kinky Things I Want to Achieve in 2009:
- Attend my first spanking party in the UK
- Try out at least two new CP implements (one actively, one passively)
- Add at least one more nationality to my list of victims
- Make more spanking videos than in 2008
- Review more spanking videos and websites than in 2008

A few notes: I've spanked girls from three different countries so far, so adding a fourth should not be too difficult (there are currently 193 states with general international recognition, which means I can still choose from 190). As for the next point, I'm counting the promo clips for Dances with Werewolves as one video, but I'm also including my cameo as Amelia-Jane Rutherford's gambling addict boyfriend on SM-Circus. That brings the number of videos I have to make this year to at least seven. Moreover, I have to write a minimum of 20 movie reviews and seven website reviews - which is doable if I stick to my usual posting routine, but I can't afford too many breaks (nor am I planning any).

I haven't figured out yet what I'm going to do if I fail to achieve one of these goals. Knowing my vile sadistic readers, I predict a lot of clamouring for me to switch to the bottom side once more and get severely thrashed. Given that I already have a whipping and caning coming up this year for losing my football bet with Niki Flynn, your chances of me agreeing to such an arrangement aren't all that good. But they would improve significantly if you put your money where your mouth is by posting some new year resolutions of your own here - and if you don't achieve them, it should of course result in a similar punishment for you (I'm sure you can find someone to do it). So let's see you put your posteriors on the line, and I'll consider doing the same.

I think it would be fun, anyway, to hear what (if any) vows you have taken for 2009. Post a comment if you like, and let us all know. It's for your own good - studies clearly show that people have a better chance of success with their new year resolutions if they make them public and get support from their friends. I imagine the effect to be even greater when it involves cruel, mischievous kinky friends...

Whether you decide to let us in on your plans or not, I wish you all a pleasant, interesting and successful year!


! said... goes.

In terms of kinky goals:

1. Finish my Erotic story/novel/novelette (Not sure of the final length yet)

2. Get spanked hard enough to produce tears. (I've only ever had one spanking...and managed to go through it without crying)

3. Take "12 of the best" with a cane.

4. Make "ass art" - as in...cane (or any other implement) stripes on my bottom in a plaid pattern.

5. Have a nice collection of photos featuring my bottom and any kinds of marks produced by any kind of spanking.

In terms of non-kinky goals:

1. Stop procrastinating. (I'll do it...soon)

2. Start a blog. (I'll do this...when I decide to stop procrastinating)

3. Get into university (I'm about 99% sure I'll get in...but better to keep it in mind than forget about it completely)

4. Score in the top 5 of this year's German contest (Came in 7th 2 years ago...)

5. Lose weight. (Typical of pretty much every femal making new year's resolutions, I know. I'd like to lose 10 lbs.)

I don't intend to fail at any of thes, but I'll most likely not meet kinky #1 and non-kinky #1, 2, and 4. Funny thing is, failing to meet some of these might actually help me achieve kinky #2, 3, 4, and 5.

Hope everyone has a good year!


Anonymous said...

Come and visit; I bet we have a couple of implements to help you achieve your Goal No. 2 *g*

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year everyone!

I usually don’t make any New Year resolutions. But still there are a few things I would like to do / keep in mind:

1. Receive my first spanking ever.
2. Work on my doctor’s thesis. Thought about quitting last year because my life has been (and still is) a roller coaster. But I decided that I have already invested too much to quit.
3. The most important goal: Being open-minded and enjoying the journey - wherever it might take me in 2009 – instead of only enjoying the achievement of goals.


! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
! said...

Came back to fix a spelling mistake...there should be an "edit" option on comments.

Adele - I'd love to see Ludwig in action again :P Catch it on video...

K'Ehleyr - What's the topic of your thesis?

Ludwig said...

Rachel: I suppose I could assist you with non-kinky goal #4 via long-distance coaching. And I'll gladly help you achieve kinky goals #2, #3, #4 and #5 if you come anywhere into my vicinity. Especially as you seem to be developing a rapport with that other naughty commenter, Indy.

As you list "start a blog" as a non-kinky goal, I don't expect it to be a kinky blog, obviously - so, as a matter of curiosity, what subject(s) do you intend to write about?

Adele: I'll be more than happy to visit, and I'm sure you have a great variety of tools for Mr. Haze and me to spank you with. *grins*

K'Ehleyr: Good luck with your three endeavours, all of which sound very sensible and worthwhile (and achievable!).

! said...

Herr Ludwig - I'm actually not quite sure. My friends have been pestering me to start one...I'm not sure why :P Don't you ever get those moments when you just daydream a little and then a thought pops up in you mind, and then you think "Hey! I should write this down somewhere!", so you do; and then a friend asks you what you were thinking about, so you tell them...and then another friend asks, and so on, and by the time the fifth person asks you, you're sick of telling the story, by which point you're thinking "Hey! I should start a blog and then just tell people to read it!" (That was one massive run-on sentence. Oh well, being German and all, you should be alright with long sentences :P) Where was I..? Ah yes...that would be the kinds of things I'd write about. Possibly also about stuff that happens in the world from a philosophical standpoint. I've had blogs in the past where I just wrote about stuff going on in life, random ramblings about stuff I've thought about...sort of like an open diary/journal, I guess. Another thought was something along the lines of a somewhat kinky blog...I need a place to get opinions about the story I'm writing. I'd obviously not go into too much detail about my kinky life...not yet anyways. Who knows, by the time I start my blog, I may very well be ready to start a kinky blog.

Indy is amazing. I tend to think that if we ever met in person, we'd get along just fine (and possibly spend a a day or two plotting some scheme to take you down).

I do plan on setting foot in your vicinity someday...maybe in a year or two. Oh..and help with non-kinky #4 would be very much appreciated. I haven't sat in a German class for a while now and my grammar has gone down the tubes.

Irelynn said...

I didn't make any resolutions this year because I never stick to them anyway, but I have never tried to make kinky resolutions! I'll give it a try!

I think I'd like to be less self-conscious when I'm getting spanked. It's not like you can actually fail at being spanked, you know...

And let's make 2009 the year in which I finally stop telling people to cane me "nicely" because I have never had a properly hard caning before. I will aspire to be caned properly this year. ;-)

Hey, making kinky resolutions is so much more fun than making "normal" ones!

Indy said...

Maybe I should stick to kinky resolutions. 2008 was the first year I'd ever made one: to get spanked in real life. It's arguably the only time I've ever kept a New Year's resolution and certainly only time I've ever exceeded my own (usually unrealistic) expectations.

This year, it's back to the normal resolutions about a healthier lifestyle, I'm afraid, though Irelynn's caning resolution has a certain frightening allure.

Rachel, do you really think we'd need a whole day, much less two? Five minutes should suffice, really. :-) (But a day or two would be more fun, of course). Good luck with all your resolutions.

Happy New Year, everyone!

! said...

Indy - we'd probably need a day to stalk what he does, pick up his habits....but after that it'll take all of five minutes. Of course...we COULD just sneak attack...

K'Ehleyr - Good luck with far along are you? I'll send it over once I edit what I have...or maybe post it on a blog :P Just wondering...where does "K'Ehleyr" come from? It's an interesting name.

Anonymous said...

Rachel: I guess I might be about halfway through… K’Ehleyr is a Klingon name. The most famous Klingon (half-Klingon actually) named K’Ehleyr was an ambassador of the Federation in the 2360s. She was killed by Duras in 2367.

Rachel & Indy: Your plans sound really interesting… Since I’m not living as far away from Ludwig as you do, I would of course NEVER offer any help like providing a base of operation here in Germany or something like that… Instead, just some nice innocent greetings to you in Klingon. (No need to translate that, Ludwig. It’s just some greetings.): Qapla’! (nepwI’jIHbe’. qaja’pu’. jIHeghrupbe’.)


! said...

WOAH.....Star Trek? I've never seen Star Trek before...

You're in Germany as well?

Ms. Cassandra (Sandy) Park said...

Posted my goals on my blog, but here's a recap:
1. meditate every day for ten minutes
2. write every day for 10 or 15 minutes.
3. Exercise every day (something I'm already doing)
4. Answer my cell phone instead of letting it go to voicemail UNLESS I'm in a place where I can't do that, and to respond to all voice messages, emails, or text messages within 24 hours.
5. to be more positive and more accepting of myself, and to stop feeling guilty.

Ludwig said...

Rachel: Well, good luck with that blog if and when you decide to start it, regardless of what the theme will be.

Most blogs have aspects of a diary, including this one. I'm not recording day-to-day, everyday events, but I am writing down quite personal thoughts and views, about certain parts of my life and personality, about selected events from my life and about general subjects. I used to write an actual diary for several years, and this feels much the same.

If I may offer a word of advice, though, I think that when it comes to non-kinky goals, you should concentrate on #1 and #3 first. Moreover, as I said, I'll gladly help with non-kinky goal #4. I still have an email from you that I have to reply to, anyway. Maybe I'll do it in German, and you can respond in German so you get a bit of practice.

Irelynn: Good luck with both of your resolutions. As for the first one, you needn't feel self-conscious while being thrashed, anyway, because from what I've seen of you at Northern Spanking, you are quite fabulous. More of that, please.

As for the second goal, a nice caning ("nice" in the sense of "tame") arguably isn't a caning at all, is it? The whole point of a caning is to induce a level of dread, anticipation and suffering that "lesser" chastisements don't produce. So I agree, it certainly is time for you to get a proper one this year. You deserve it without a doubt - I don't know why, but I'm sure you know.

Oh... Actually, I do know: for pretending to be a royal person of higher rank than I am, which is of course preposterous. Bring Queen Smudge along when you go out to achieve your goal, so the two of you can receive the correction you deserve!

Indy: I'm pleased to see that you are allured by Irelynn's second resolution. A rare moment of bad conscience?

You'd certainly deserve a proper, hard caning, too, in light of the attitude you've been exhibiting around here lately. You've infected Rachel with your naughty remarks against me, and now you're infecting K'Ehleyr. But rest assured, I know who the ringleader is! You're not sweet-talking your way out of this one, Fräulein.

Perhaps I should call the three of you the "Conspiratory Sisterhood of Anti-Monarchist Geeks". Or is it just "Anti-Ludwig"? The rest certainly fits, though.

K'Ehleyr: Why should I not translate it if they are only harmless greetings? I've never read Klingon before, so that in itself is interesting enough (and besides, I have to make sure that it really is just a harmless greeting...).

I've acquired a Klingon dictionary, but the last word of your message eludes me.

On a general note, I can only encourage you to stay away from Indy and Rachel and the doomed path they are on, or I will personally make sure that you achieve your first new year resolution, and quite thoroughly so. You are in a more precarious geographical position than they are, after all.

Sandy: Best of luck with all your resolutions. As for #5, there is no need for you to feel guilty, anyway - as a matter of fact, you are pretty much the only well-behaved female around here at this time. I commend you on your good example. Keep it up, and best wishes for the year.

Indy said...

Rachel & K'Ehleyr,

I think it's best to leave the Brash Bavarian seated uneasily upon his (imaginary) throne. That way, we can toy with him as much as we want.

But we can always change our minds, Ludwig, so be careful what you say here. If you start to look too comfortable-- perhaps even smug?-- we'll have to ask Niki to take care of that little problem for us...

! said...

Ludwig - I agree about concentrating on #1 and #3. The one thing that would stop me from achieving #3 is not achieving #1...but I'm on a really bad vicious cycle that i need to break right now.

Replying in German is a great idea! I guarantee there will be plenty of mistakes on my part though, and I hope you'll be able to stand reading through the whole thing :P

I don't think Indy and i are on a path of "doom" the time I set foot in Germany, you would probably have forgotten about the "Anti-Ludwig Sisterhood"

Could someone please translate K'Ehleyr's message...I don't...understand...

Anonymous said...

Ludwig: What exactly have I done wrong? Finding something “interesting”? Saying that – of course – I would NEVER provide any help for a plan to hunt you down? Sending a nice Klingon greeting (Qapla’! = All the best to you!) to Indy and Rachel?

Or are you just frustrated that you didn’t pass the test??? ;-) I just wanted to know how suspicious you really are and whether you trust my word. Since you’ve tried to translate the sentences in brackets - I guess you have already realised that I’ve written them just for you in case you don’t believe my words. By the way, the last sentence consists of the words jI Hegh rup be’. Maybe that will help you finishing your translation. I would be interested in reading the result. Actually I have been quite sure that you would be the only one to accept the challenge to translate the sentences. :-)

If I should ever be in the mood to skip the last word of the last sentence you’ll be the first one to know! Believing in Klingon traditions I would of course go for the one-on-one fight instead of stabbing you in the back! But I guess you would be more interested in certain Klingon traditions like the Second Rite of Ascension ceremony featuring those nice Klingon pain sticks… Just to make that clear: I don’t possess one you could try on me! And as you know by now – I don’t lie!

Qapla’! :-)

Ludwig said...

Indy: The only thing that is making me uneasy (and a bit bored) is having to wonder for weeks on end if you will ever actually dare to follow up your endless stream of threats, naughty remarks and grandiose Ludwig-toppling schemes with deeds and action. It would be fun, you know.

I'm here waiting in my royal Bavarian domain - which is quite real, I assure you, not imaginary. As real as my CP implement collection. You want to come over and bring me down, give it a try whenever you're ready - I certainly am.

Or do you want to send poor sweet Niki because you are afraid to go yourself, hmm?

Rachel: I can sympathise with being caught in a vicious cycle of procrastination. I've been there myself. Obsessive perfectionsism coupled with laziness (the latter being a byproduct of high intelligence and not usually having to try hard) is a bad combination.

But come on, girl, let's see a bit of determination. If I can quit smoking from one day to the other after going through two packs per day during my last university year, then you can easily achieve goals #1 and #3. All you need is the will to do it (or alternatively, someone to beat that will into you).

As for the "Sisterhood", you shouldn't rely on me forgetting anything, ever. I'm a historian, remember.

K'Ehleyr: You've done nothing wrong - I didn't say you have, did I? I was merely offering a friendly word of advice for you to stay away from those two no-good miscreants.

Of course I am suspicious by nature - you'd be the same if you were constantly surrounded by unruly would-be-insurgents like I am. It comes with the job of being a top. Besides, I'm also an INFJ Conspiracy Theorist, so what do you expect?

That said, I was and am willing to trust your word - I believe that you would indeed prefer an open confrontation over Indy's backstabbing tactics (good for you). Still, I tried to translate the Klingon phrase out of simple, straightforward curiosity. You post something interesting like that here, of course I'm going to look it up. Again, what do you expect? It comes with being a mad scientist.

The translation is: "All the best to you! [literally: "Success!"] (I am not a liar. I have told you. I am not ready to die.)"

Well, I may be a gleeful sadist, but no one has ever died from my treatment (not my thing, that). You could expect discomfort while sitting down, though, for a period of time afterwards.


I don't have any spanko resolutions for this year but I do have some aims.

I think I will do a post on them. Thanks for the inspiration Ludwig.


! said...

Ludwig - I have never had to actually try in school. It's what screwed me over in terms of work ethic. However, I am slowly working on it - I finished my homework a day early (and am rather bored right now)

Indy - Don't send Niki!! I want a shot at taking him down!

Anonymous said...

Ludwig: Great Klingon language skills! It’s exactly what I intended to say. And I’m quite sure you needed less time to do the Klingon – English translation than I needed for the German – Klingon part. My heart is Klingon – but I have to admit that this was my first attempt to translate something into the Klingon language… ;-)

It’s nice to hear that you trust my word! Concerning that part about being ready to die – Klingons prefer a quite flowery language when they talk about their values… ;-)


Eliane said...

I've headed over here from Smudge and Irelynn's, and, knowing them as I do, they both *definitely* need a spanking. Troublemakers the both of them.
Right, now that I've dropped my friends in it, on to my New Years Resolutions... 1) giving up chocolate, and 2) on the kinky front, get spanked more. But not caned more, lol!
Oh, and Rachel and Indy, if you are plotting Ludwig's downfall, can I join in please? I've only just started reading here, but I'm always up for a bit of downfall causing!

! said...

Eliane - Certainly! I dunno about what Indy thinks, but I think it'd be awsome to have another person.

Let's take him down from his Bavarian throne!

Indy said...

Oh, my, I'm beginning to feel like a moderate at the French revolution... Just as I counsel a more cautious course, King Ludwig (Bavarian, Austrian, what's the difference?) says, metaphorically speaking, "Let them eat cake," the rabble demands his head, and reinforcements arrive from England. OK, the French Revolution analogy breaks down with that last part, but it's always a delight to have Eliane around.

For the record, my comment about enlisting Niki to make sure Ludwig couldn't sit too comfortably on his throne was meant to be taken literally. I don't think any of the rest of us can wield a cane with her degree of skill! Not that I'd wish to exclude you from more revolutionary activity, Niki, should you be so inclined...

Inventor of the Safe, Sane, and Consensual Guillotine

Ludwig said...

Prefectdt: You're welcome, of course, I'm always glad to serve as a source of inspiration (you can read his "Kinky Goals For 2009" post here if you like).

Rachel: I never had to try in school either, so I had the same deficiencies in terms of work ethic at your age. But rest assured, when you're at university, you will (at least in the later semesters) finally encounter pleanty of people who are just as smart as you, or even smarter than you. So you will either "learn to learn", or you won't and you'll eventually fail - either way, the problem will take care of itself!

K'Ehleyr: Thank you, I am pleased that my translation was correct. So who is the bigger geek among the two of us - the one who writes in Klingon, or the one who takes the time to look up what it means? The biggest geeks of all are of course the people who *write* these kinds of dictionaries and online language courses...

Eliane: Good to see you here, and I hope you'll continue reading. Thank you about the info on Irelynn and Smudge - I didn't really need you to tell me that they are frequent troublemakers, as I know as much from personal experience, but it sure is very kind of you to drop them in it like that. Just stay away from Rachel and Indy, or you might find yourself in trouble, too.

Indy: Interesting French Revolution analogy, but I'm not sure I really fit the part of Marie Antoinette. Besides, there are serious doubts about the veracity of the famous "Let them eat cake!" quote - some historians believe that an earlier French queen said it, if anyone ever really said it at all. It sure is a nice line, though.

While the "safe, sane and consensual guillotine" is a hoot, I'm not sure the role of Louis XVI. is such an exciting prospect, either. When we are talking about that general period, I would much prefer Napoleon Bonaparte - now there is an interesting figure, and one that suits my megalomaniacal nature. And while he wasn't executed, he was at least exiled towards the end of his life, which should please you - moreover, I could continue to write my blog from St. Helena, and you could continue to read it.

Of course, with me in the part, the most likely outcome is a kind of alternate history where Napoleon wins at Waterloo. And the aftermath won't be pretty for you "Seventh Coalition Sisterhood" types...