Monday, September 30, 2013

Kaelah's Corner (Sep 2013):
Outer Space

This nearly turned out to be the first month without a Kaelah's Corner post since I started writing here on Ludwig's Rohrstock-Palast more than four years ago. Why? Because quite honestly I haven't got any kinky thoughts to write about. At the moment, there is no space in my life for it. My sexual drive is very low, anyway, and so thinking about an interesting kinky topic to write about feels more like additional pressure than like a fun thing to do. Right now I don't feel like a part of the spanking universe but rather like an observer far away in the outer space.

But then I  had the idea that I could use the occasion to pose a question to you, our readers, instead of simply skipping my monthly post. So, here it comes: Have you ever been in a situation in which you didn't feel much interest in kink? Or even a time in which being confronted with kink made you feel rather uncomfortable or sad instead of excited and happy? I would love to hear about your experiences!

Ludwig and I are sharing some vanilla time together right now. I think being with a partner who doesn't show much interest in anything sexual isn't easy. But Ludwig and I have found other ways of being close for the time being. And hopefully our situation will change again one day.

In the meantime I guess it is not helpful if I put myself under pressure. But that's not so easy. I'm not very good at waiting and simply seeing how things turn out. I prefer being in control, especially when what I am doing or how I am feeling doesn't affect only me but others as well.

We will at least keep the blog alive, though. Ludwig has a bunch of topics he wants to write about. Additionally there are several adventures from the past about which we haven't written, yet. And the story for my blogiversary is complete, too. We just have to find an opportunity to record the audio version for you. So, while my posting routine will most probably remain as irregular as it has been in the past weeks, there will be more posts to come.

Until then I wish all of you a great start of the autumn season (or spring season for those living in the Southern hemisphere) from my observing station here in outer space!


Olli said...

Hey, hello!

First of all I think you're right - pressure and sex never are a good couple. Sex should always be fun for both (or quite all) people involved and pressure (i mean that real pressure, how you mentioned it) just kills the fun.

And I also think that it ist quite normal having phases in life with other priorities, when the job or (other) hobbies or some trouble in the family or even any other reason picks our concience to focus on it. I never believed that any people are in a "sexual mood" every time, but only the "on- and off-phases" may be longer, shorter, more or less often - it's just an individual thing.

For myself I found a kind of rhythm over about four weeks - mostly I like to receive a CP twice in this period and there are also a few vanilla days and at least a few days without any sexual effort during these four weeks. The very cool thing is that my girlfriend has her own, but mostly campatible, rhythm, so there are no discussions about having kinky or vanilla or no sex but only a short "tuning".

I think knowing the own rhythm (of sex, of life, of whatever...) is a very worthy thing - I like... ;-)

Simon said...

Of course most of us have periods when our kinky interests wane. It's what shows that it is an interest rather than an addiction. Addicts cannot go through a period without their particular drug but if it's just an interest/hobby you can do so and sometimes want to. This would apply just as much to stamp collecting as it does to spanking. this could be caused by such things as overload or other more important things in your life arising. I have been interested in spanking etc for over 30 years but often it has taken a back seat sometimes for quite long periods of time. You cannot force the issue, either the desire is there or it isn't. Personally since I enjoy this blog immensely I hope that you both return to the subject soon but obviously only if this is what you want.

Lea said...

I think many people experience highs and lows in their kinky interests. I've never felt mine completely go away, but there are times I crave it more and other times I am okay going longer without. As far as going out to lots of events and parties locally, I definitely start feeling burned out sometimes and need to take a break and recharge. I hope you and Ludwig enjoy your time together.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I had a period in my life where I rarely thought about my kink. That was at the time when my husband and I founded a family and raised our children. Children can be quite absorbing, so I didn't miss anything. But now I will certainly miss your always thoughtful blog entries. All the best to you and I'm sure your kink will return. :-)


Fenris said...

Just take your time and, as you already stated, don't put yourself under any more pressure as both the kink as well as your blogging should be something you look forward to instead of some kind of chore. Although I sure do miss your posts, I think all your readers will understand that your well-being is much more important.

To answer your question: Personally, when I lost my interest in the kink in past episodes of my life, I was generally very unhappy and/or extremely stressed, so I can empathize with you.

All the best wishes and get well soon.

Ursus Lewis said...

I've times I'm not interested much in reading stories and/or blogs. I definitely invest much much less time in such activities compared as I did shortly after I came out to the scene. I admire blogger who are active almost day in day out sometimes since years. I could definitely not motivate me to do such a thing. Enjoy your time in "outer space", hopefully you can recharge your kinky batteries there...

Fessee13 said...

I has always had a high sex drive, and high kink drive, but a few years ago I was put on anti-depression/OCD meds and my libido has not been the same.

It's a bit of a shame since I'm interested in sex, men, and kink still but there's no orgasms for me anymore, and while I'm single it's fun to play but I could also go without for long periods. My mind however is always wrapped up into it though and can't ever let it go.

I don't thing there's anything wrong with giving things a rest, and if you two are compatible in this I'd just give it time. The less stress the better.

Respecting Mistress said...

I think we all go through a time when other things take priority and kinky thoughts take a back seat. With us it's work issues mainly. There are times when that takes 100% focus and that can last for days. Not only that, it might happen that Mistress is focussed 100% on work when I more focusses on DD - and vice versa. When we do finally align again it's so hard to fall back into line with the kind of domestic discipline lifestyle we prefer to lead. But the desires and interests are very deep-seated it's just a case of being patient and your desires will return. Good luck

Kaelah said...

Thank you all very much for your great and thoughtful comments! I think you are absolutely right, trying to push things while being totally stressed out is not a good idea. Right now I try to listen to my feelings and my body instead to find out what I need to make me feel more at peace and to build up new energy. It looks like this is going to be a slow, time-consuming process, but I will hopefully learn some importing things along the way. And I'm sure that my kinky spirit will return as well, once my energy and power are back. :-)

Quai Franklin said...

I can completely sympathize with you. I've been to "that place" unfortunately, myself. I went through a very scary phase where I wasn't even interested in my favorite kink - spanking. Fortunately it was short-lived, maybe a couple weeks. But because spanking had always elicited a very strong reaction in me, I had to focus on not panicking. What finally broke me out of it was relaxing as much as possible and finally keying in on what really excited me about spanking - the punishment aspect. Thinking of a woman being spanked as punishment and going into a close level of detail in my mind, eventually turned the key. But of course it would be different for everyone.
In the mean time relax and enjoy your time.

Best Regards,

Kaelah said...

@ Quai Franklin:
Thank you very much for sharing your experiences! I think you are right, carefully starting with one's core fantasies surely is a good idea.