Friday, July 16, 2010

Scenes From A Kinky Marriage

(a drama in four acts)

Setting:


It's a rainy afternoon. Ludwig (L) is sitting in front of his computer, working hard for the sake of his dear blogreaders (read: downloading movies from Her First Punishment for reviews). He has been very busy with work on his computer for most of the day (writing kinky mails, reading wiki articles about history, watching sports and so on). His girlfriend Kaelah (K) is lying on the bed at the other end of the room. That's what she has done most of the day, since she is suffering from a bad cold. Because of being ill she seeks being pampered and is a bit unhappy with herself and the world as a whole...


Act 1: What are you doing?


K: What are you doing?

L: Downloading movies and pictures from Russian Slaves.

K: Why does that take so long?

L: There are about 60 movies online which I have to download. The access they gave me only lasts for about a week, and I want to review Russian Slaves for some time to come. So I have to get them all now. I'm also looking for good stills which I could later use for the reviews. (to himself) Damn it, sometimes it's really hard to find good pictures.

K: More than 60 movies?!? Congratulations, now you can write Russian Slaves reviews until the year 2100...

L: It's always better to have too much stuff than not having enough. (jokingly) And who knows, maybe Russian Slaves will be raided by the police one day, like Mood Pictures, and shut down. Then on the positive side at least it will give me time to catch up with the reviews.


Act 2: Lesbian love


By now, L is trying to match the pictures with the movies they belong to. That's a bit tricky because many videos share the same set or the same theme.

L: They really love their sports, these Russian spankos. 'Sports School in Moscow', 'Sports School in the Country', 'Angry Coach'... It's all about sports, sports, sports.
K: How exciting...
L: (undeterred, deliberately taking the sarcastic reply at face value) Yes, isn't it? Another frequent theme is girls being punished for having lesbian sex. You remember that hilarious monologue I quoted in my review of Her First Punishment? (he starts talking with an exaggerated Russian accent) Fuck! What's going on? Whores, why they engage in this here? Lesbian love! Thousand hungry mans around. What, it's not enough man for you? Must you stuff in pussy all sorts of rubbish? Whore! You violate healthy social atmosphere!

K: Oh, yes, I remember. Actually, that monologue already explains why those Russian girls prefer lesbian sex...

L: I wonder what Pandora would say about that spanking premise!
(not too long before this conversation took place, Pandora had written a post titled spanked for being "slutty")
K: I'm quite sure she wouldn't like it.

L: (getting philosophical all of a sudden) I see her point, but I ask myself, is it really a consistent position to have? I mean, look. We see schoolgirl scenarios in spanking videos all the time. But of course, no one believes that the producers want to tell us that they support canings of real schoolgirls in real schools. We all understand that it is supposed to be purely an erotic fantasy, not
an endorsement of any real-life educational practices. So, when it comes to spanking scenarios where girls are spanked for being 'slutty', or for having lesbian sex, why do we all of a sudden have this responsibility to not produce such material because someone might take it too seriously? Do we really need an official disclaimer in those cases, saying: we do not share the attitudes of the characters in this video? No one would think such a disclaimer is necessary for schoolgirl spanking videos, or that they should be avoided because they might be misunderstood!
K: You're right, but I think it depends on what is important to someone and on one's own experiences. There is still a lot of discrimination against homosexuality in the real world, also in the European countries, and Pandora is fighting against it. I guess that's why she wouldn't like spanking movies with that premise. But I guess the male viewers do, because it means lesbian sex plus spanking.
L: I don't.
K: Hey, when I'm going to switch one day we could do a scene containing the same kind of prejudiced stereotypes against men. (a happy smile appears on her face)

L (suspiciously): What...?

K (sarcastically): 'Spanked for watching porn!'

L (grinning): No thanks.

K (muttering): I wouldn't even have to pretend anything...

L: We should write a post about this conversation.

K: Nope.

L: Why not?

K: Too personal...

L: Aah, I see...


Act 3: The Russian bulldog


L is focusing completely on his work again, mumbling from time to time.

K: How much longer does this take?

L: I've got more than fifty movies now and I have to select pictures for the rest.

K: Why do you select the pictures now? The galleries are freely available and you could choose the pictures when you write the reviews.

L: I want everything complete now. Neatly and structured.

K: Oh yes, like in that drawer of yours where you put everything that seems worth keeping, just in case...
L: That is a matter of priorities. My movie collection is always arranged in proper order, as well as my music collection. Speaking of which: Don't forget to put those CDs you've taken from the shelf back where they belong. And I mean in exactly the right place.

K (now sulking): Have I ever not put one of your belongings back where it belongs? You might be an INFJ and I am an INTJ, but my J is much stronger than yours!

L: Just warning you beforehand...

K's answer is just a snarl.

L: (still fighting with the pictures) Which movie do these belong to? They often use the same settings for different movies, you know?

K: That's efficiency.

L: Yes, and I guess their main top is only convincing in certain roles: sports trainer, military instructor and so on. That's why they often have similar scenarios. Spanked after sports, the sports lesson... By the way, since you are a wrestling fan, you are into guys with well-exercised bodies. You might like him.

K: Nope.

L: How do you know? We have never watched a Russian Slaves movie, yet, have we?

K: No, but I've seen his picture in one of your reviews on the blog. It's that bully guy, right?

L: Yes, but he really has a well-trained body.

K: Okay, okay, I'll have a look.

K gets out of bed, walks over to L, takes a short look at the pictures and violently shakes her head.

K: That guy? Are you kidding me? He's the when-I-grow-up-I-might-become-a-man-one-day type! Much too young for my taste. And secondly, he looks a bit like a bulldog. (she walks back to the bed) Sorry, but I would still prefer being spanked by Shawn Michaels.

L: Oh, I remember, you had that revealing dream the other day...


Act 4: Goldilocks


K: But from the pictures it seems that not all of their movies are as severe as I thought.

L: Yes, it varies a bit, obviously depending on the models and how far they want to go. They've got this enchanting blonde in the video here, for instance, but unfortunately she only does hand spankings.
Really frustrating.
K: (icy voice) This "enchanting" blonde...
L: Yes, absolutely! (grins widely)
K: Oh, what a pity! Now you'll have to decide whether you want to review a movie containing the kind of severity you like, or one with beautiful goldilocks!

L: Are we in a sarcastic mood?

K: (now openly pouting) What kind of mood should I be in? I have a boyfriend who prefers downloading spanking porn and talking about the Russian version of goldilocks while another blonde woman, his ill girlfriend, is lying on his bed at the other end of the room, longing for some attention and a good...

L grins, walks over to the bed, gets down on all fours next to K and imitates a barking dachshund, making fun of K, until he starts choking and caughing. Then he stands up again and walks back to his computer.

K (after him): Go and suffocate!

She turns around sulking while L finishes his hard work.


Moral:


1.) It's hard to do a good job for your blogreaders with a jealous girlfriend permanently seeking your attention. 2.) Life is equally hard with a boyfriend who is sometimes more interested in reviewing spanking porn than in having a good, hard and wild ... ahem ... love encounter ... with his girlfriend. 3.) Last but not least, kinky couples are quite similar to vanilla couples, even though the topics of their conversations may be slightly different.

11 comments:

Adele Haze said...

Oh, Ludwig, you saddo ;)

Ludwig said...

@ Adele: Look who's talking! You have two blogs (and contribute to a third, to my knowledge), while I only have one, so you are probably stuck to the computer even more than I am.

Besides, it goes without saying that this whole account by Kaelah is quite biased and one-sided. I really was working hard that day. For most of the time, anyway. While downloading spanking porn merely "in the background".

Kaelah said...

Ludwig, reading history articles for fun, exchanging kinky mails with friends and watching sports ISN'T what most people would call work! And don't start a discussion about the fact that the opinion of the majority doesn't necessarily have to be the right one...

Oh, and my account wasn't one-sided! Except for the fact that I tried to make sure to present you in a rather positive light, of course.

Adele, any ideas on how to deal with a man who makes infamous accusations like that one???

Pandora Blake said...

Oh dear - I feel I should defend my position (and possibly chime in on the question of being spanked for having lesbian sex), but I'm too busy laughing!

Although I have to admit the title of this did make me blink a bit and wonder if I'd missed an important event...

Ludwig said...

@ Pandora: "Oh dear - I feel I should defend my position (and possibly chime in on the question of being spanked for having lesbian sex), but I'm too busy laughing!"

I know that your main gripe in your post was with spanking video producers who fail to distinguish between in character and out of character, who advertise as if the spanking model herself were a "slut" or a "naughtly little minx". I completely agree with you in my opposition to that. What I said in the conversation was only a reply of sorts to a minor point of yours, when you wrote in the beginning that you did not want to see "anyone being made to feel ashamed for their sexuality" in a video.

"Although I have to admit the title of this did make me blink a bit and wonder if I'd missed an important event..."

No, we aren't married yet. Although it sometimes feels as if we are. As one can see very clearly from the post above!

Pandora Blake said...

Ludwig - Yeah, I guessed that if you had sneakily got married you wouldn't still be using "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" - you're far too pedantic for that ;)

I've actually done loads of videos where I've been spanked for being a lesbian, but in a narrative where my character has the moral high ground; the villains are clearly being prudish, out-dated or homophobic wankers. In that context there is no shame implied by the narrative, because the punisher is portrayed as being in the wrong (even if they feel that they are justified by religious or cultural mores) and the sympathy is with the victim.

I'd feel much less comfortable filming a scene where it was implied that I really had done something wrong by sleeping with a woman, in such a way that the viewer is meant to respond "yes, filthy behaviour, she deserves everything she gets!" and not "oh, poor mistreated Pandora! But then, that's an emotional as much as political preference - my kink massively favours undeserved punishments over deserved ones! ENOTABRAT :)

I might expand on this in a blog post - thanks for the food for thought!

(Ha - the word verification is "bratremo". Coincidence? I THINK NOT.)

Anonymous said...

Friends Ludwig and Kaelah:
I think you should take better care of your relationships. Remember the classic phrase "carpe diem." You will have time to anger and bitterness when you get married!.
Kaelah: Supplication (kneeling), your boyfriend to give you love, cuddle and a batch of lashes for fifteen to twenty minutes. I assure you that when you end the beating, will have immense desire to fuck.
Ludwig: I congratulate you. You have a beautiful bride. I think she deserves a lot of attention and love. I also think you should spank more often (if she likes and agrees) to progressively increase their resistance to pain.
Also, I think you lose time on the Internet looking for pages of spanking. Since closed Elitepain and Mood Pictures, there is no of interest. Have you re-connect with Pedro?. Do you know if they make new movies?. Please tell Peter that we need to make new films.
Pardon my tips and my freedom. " Greetings.

Peter8862 said...

"Scenes from a Kinky Marriage" is a wee bit worrying - it's too near the knuckle. Perfection has its price in terms of time and relationships can too easily be made to foot the bill.

To my shame and regret, my wife was a boat widow. Computers can be equally demanding. Getting the right balance is just another of life's conundrums, as I'm sure you would agree.

Peter

Kaelah said...

@ Anonymous:

Thanks for your detailed comment! And don't worry, the whole discussion I've described in the post wasn't 100 per cent serious. Ludwig actually gives me a lot of love and attention! And also frequent spankings, of course. As I wrote in my last post “Happiness in Slavery” there hadn't been many more elaborate and severe scenes for quite a while. But that was because I wasn't feeling all that good and Ludwig preferred to cuddle me instead of spanking me. We finally had a long and also rather hard scene last weekend and it turned out that my pain threshold (or stubbornness) is still quite high.

In private play the severity of a spanking usually isn't the most important point, anyway. Even a self-proclaimed “severity freak” like Ludwig distinguishes between films, where he often (not always!) wants to see a higher grade of severity going along with visible marks, and private play, where the connection between the partners, the mutual enjoyment and a lot of other things often are much more important, and more severe play is reserved for special occasions.

And, by the way, while spanking and sex as a whole is an important part of a love relationship, it's neither the only nor the most important ground for a partnership. When I was ill I couldn't go outside for almost a week. The most important thing Ludwig did to cheer me up (except for cuddling me a lot) was playing trivial pursuit with me. It was an old edition of the game and we laughed a lot about the strange questions and answers. :-) I think things like that are at least as important as having a good sexual relationship!


@ Peter:

Don't worry, I'm not a computer widow at all... ;-) If I had to name something I could be jealous of, it would be books and articles about history, because that is something Ludwig spends a lot of time with. But history is Ludwig's profession, so this is (usually ;-) ) absolutely okay for me.

Ludwig just loves to banter me about my ungrounded jealousy of every woman Ludwig calls “sexy” or “enchanting”. And of course he couldn't resist to push the right buttons to get me into a flaming temper... ;-)

Anonymous said...

Dear Kaelah:
I beg you forgive my unfortunate comments (of July 25) about your relationship with your boyfriend.
I'm glad you have such a loving and sincere relationship with Ludwig.
It is true that love is kept day by day due to mutual respect and all the "little things" make our daily life more enjoyable. It is true that sex (and spankings) must arise from the affection and complicity of the couple and not vice versa.
Forgive me for confusing your "real life" with the fiction film.

Kaelah said...

Dear Anonymous,

don't worry, I also sometimes make the mistake of confusing a tongue-in-cheek post or comment with a serious statement. :-) It's even more difficult for me to distinguish the two things in English because I'm no native speaker. So, there's nothing you have to be sorry for.

Oh, by the way, if you like, you can also use the name/URL option when posting a comment. There's no URL required and the option allows you fill in a random name under which the comment is posted. That makes it a bit easier to write follow-up comments.