Monday, May 17, 2010

No Resolutions for 2010?

If you've been reading my blog for a while and are among the readers with a long memory, you will undoubtedly recall that I made some new year resolutions back in January 2009. You might have asked yourself: what became of those resolutions? And why didn't I make any (at least not publicly) for 2010?

To answer the second question first, I didn't make any resolutions this time around because, well, I simply didn't feel like it. I don't normally do it, anyway - making some public, kinky new year resolutions on the blog last year was an experiment of sorts, and now that I've done it once, I don't have an overwhelming desire to repeat it. Also, generally speaking, I am busier than I was last year. My academic work has become busier, I have my relationship with Kaelah which I didn't have when 2009 started, and I still have the blog and the email correspondence with fellow spankos, which are as time-consuming as ever. So I'm not keen on artificially inflating my things-to-do list even further. If I manage to make roughly the same number of blog posts this year as in my first two years (70+), I'll be happy enough.

Actually, this is the one, late new year resolution which I am going to make for 2010: at least 70 blog posts. Kaelah's count as well, and with her help, that should be doable. Also, I want to correct the irregularities that have crept into the harmony of my celestial spheres: at the end of the year, I want the number of reviews to be exactly one third of the total number of blog posts again (from the beginning in 2008 up to the present). Moreover, I want one fourth of the reviews to be website reviews, the other three fourths movie reviews. Did you get that? Probably not. Nobody cares about it except me, and understandably so. But I need to have my spheres in harmony again, so I am going to work on that as well (as a result, you will see some further irregularities in the near future to offset the old ones, and then I will hopefully be able to return to my beloved anapestic tetrameter posting rhythm).

For today, let's take a look back and find out what became of the new year resolutions for 2009. I should have done that in January this year already, but I was busy with other things, so I'm doing it now. Here, for your recollection, are the "kinky goals" I had set myself for 2009:

- Attend my first spanking party in the UK
- Try out at least two new CP implements (one actively, one passively)
- Add at least one more nationality to my list of victims
- Make more spanking videos than in 2008
- Review more spanking videos and websites than in 2008

The first resolution met with resounding success when Kaelah and I went to Haron's birthday party last autumn. It wasn't an open-for-all party (which is what I really had been thinking of when I made the resolution), but it was definitely a party, and a great one at that, and it was in the UK. Outcome: success.

(By the way, Haron recently revealed to the world that she is Adele Haze, so I no longer have to pretend that they are different people. Yeah, we were visiting Adele and Mr. Haze, really, and it follows from there that it wasn't the first time we met them, either.)

Kaelah and I had a little private session at that party, and it was then that I tried out a couple of implements which I had never used before as a top, on her or anyone else. I'll single out the tawse here, but there were others, too. So, thanks to Abel's / Mr. Haze's wonderful implement collection, I managed to fulfil one half of my second new year resolution. Not the other half, though, because I didn't try out a new implement passively. Actually, I never switched at all during 2009. I would have if Niki Flynn and I had resolved our football bet. The martinet would have been a new implement for me. But Niki retired, and I never felt like switching for another scenario. Outcome: partial success.

The third resolution was a complete success again. I added not just one, but two new nationalities to my list of CP victims. Hungarian at the Mood Pictures shoot, Czech at the Lupus shoot. Another reason to be thankful for the fall of the iron curtain. Outcome: success.

Resolution number four, "make more spanking videos than in 2008". Now this is a tough one to assess, because of the unclear wording "make". Does that mean "to film" or "to publish"? I filmed a number of video clips with Kaelah last year which we intend to post on the blog eventually, but we haven't got around to it yet. How do I count that? And what about the Farewell to the Final Girl videos with Niki? I posted them in September 2009, but they had been filmed one year before. What about Almost A Birthday Spanking? Posted in February 2009, filmed the previous year, it was new, never-before-seen footage from a scene that had already been published. How the hell does that count? Finally, does my guest role at Mood Pictures count as one video or as two? It was filmed in one (very long) shoot, but they put it out as two separate videos.

In any case, I would have needed to make at least seven videos in 2009 to meet the resolution. But regardless of whether I take the videos I filmed or the ones I published, I can't get to seven. Even with a reasonably "optimistic" count (taking the Mood video as two, for instance), I only get to six in each case. I could be really generous and count the last three little clips with Niki Flynn as three seperate videos, but then I would have to do the same for the Spanko-Style Advertising clips posted in 2008 (I had counted them as one video in my original calculations). So that doesn't help, either. Well, I guess I failed with this particular resolution, albeit narrowly. Outcome: failure.

Last but not least, I had set myself the goal of reviewing more spanking videos and more websites than I had in 2008. The count is easier this time, and I have to say that I failed with that, too. I was reasonably close - 18 movie reviews I did vs. 20 I should have done, and 6 website reviews I did vs. 7 I should have done. I could easily have made it, had I not had two blogging lapses in May and November, with only a small handful of posts in each month. But "would have, could have" is no good. Outcome: failure.

Overall, though, considering the fact that the resolutions were fairly specific and not all that easy to meet (as opposed to fluff like "I want to enjoy life more!"), I would say that two and a half out of five is not bad. Not great, either, but I am reasonably content.


Ursus Lewis said...

Too bad your not a bottom Ludwig. I'm sure there are female tops out there who would love to spank you for your failures ;)

Kaelah said...

Ludwig, you wouldn’t have had any problems achieving your kinky goals if they had been a bit more realistic. I think I even offered you to help you with goal no. 2. But for some reason you didn’t want me to spank you with the table tennis racket… ;-) Making more spanking movies than in 2008 and reviewing more websites than in 2008, well those aims were a bit unrealistic, don’t you think so? By the way, you’re doing it again with your new resolutions for this year…

A more realistic set of New Year resolutions for 2009 which you would have achieved completely could have looked like that:

- attending a spanking party in the UK
- adding one more nationality to the list of victims
- be the first guy to spank a girl
- deflowering a girl
- flogging a witch at a real castle
- attending a Klingon tea ceremony
- finding one’s mate

See what I mean? :-)

@ Ursus:

I would volunteer to help, but Ludwig didn’t let me help him concerning that point last year (which would have meant he would have achieved one of HIS goals), so there doesn’t seem to be a high possibility that he wants me to help him to make your idea come true… :-)

Unknown said...

"But for some reason you didn’t want me to spank you with the table tennis racket…"

I'm not sure why but that made me choke on my drink. Thanks for the laugh. *continues coughing and spluttering*

Abel1234 said...

ROFL now it's known that Adele and Haron are one and the same, it's quite fun to be able to comment on how nice it is that I was around for a fair few of your successful resolution-fulfilling activities!

I reckon one of your 2010 resolutions should be to do another Lupus movie in which you get to thrash Adele...

Ludwig said...

@ Ursus: Oh, I'm sure there are female tops out there who would love to do that.

Actually, I am thinking about resolving that football bet one day, even though Niki has retired. I would have every right to say: "Sorry folks, but Niki is no more, so the idea we had is obsolete and I am no longer doing that video clip." But it does seem a bit like chickening out. So, if I can find a suitable replacement for Niki for the kind of clip we had in mind (which is no easy task), I will probably do it. I'm not making any promises at this stage, though.

@ Kaelah: Thank you for the amusing list of "realistic" goals. Indeed, the year 2009 exceeded all expectations, didn't it?

But you still won't get to spank me with the table tennis racket. It is too silly an implement.

@ Abel: I wouldn't say no to another Lupus film, neither would I say no to thrashing Haron aka Adele on film (so far, I only had the pleasure off-camera). Let's wait and see what the future brings.