Kaelah's Corner (Sep 2013): Outer Space

This nearly turned out to be the first month without a Kaelah's Corner post since I started writing here on Ludwig's Rohrstock-Palast more than four years ago. Why? Because quite honestly I haven't got any kinky thoughts to write about. At the moment, there is no space in my life for it. My sexual drive is very low, anyway, and so thinking about an interesting kinky topic to write about feels more like additional pressure than like a fun thing to do. Right now I don't feel like a part of the spanking universe but rather like an observer far away in the outer space.

But then I  had the idea that I could use the occasion to pose a question to you, our readers, instead of simply skipping my monthly post. So, here it comes: Have you ever been in a situation in which you didn't feel much interest in kink? Or even a time in which being confronted with kink made you feel rather uncomfortable or sad instead of excited and happy? I would love to hear about your experiences!

Ludwig and I are sharing some vanilla time together right now. I think being with a partner who doesn't show much interest in anything sexual isn't easy. But Ludwig and I have found other ways of being close for the time being. And hopefully our situation will change again one day.

In the meantime I guess it is not helpful if I put myself under pressure. But that's not so easy. I'm not very good at waiting and simply seeing how things turn out. I prefer being in control, especially when what I am doing or how I am feeling doesn't affect only me but others as well.

We will at least keep the blog alive, though. Ludwig has a bunch of topics he wants to write about. Additionally there are several adventures from the past about which we haven't written, yet. And the story for my blogiversary is complete, too. We just have to find an opportunity to record the audio version for you. So, while my posting routine will most probably remain as irregular as it has been in the past weeks, there will be more posts to come.

Until then I wish all of you a great start of the autumn season (or spring season for those living in the Southern hemisphere) from my observing station here in outer space!

Munchie Gets Caned

Kaelah and I are still very busy with non-kinky things and hard-pressed for time (even though Kaelah has already been working on the audio story we announced in her blogiversary post, using the phrases you submitted). So I'm just doing a quick "filler" post today, but I think it is pretty interesting filler. I was looking for a spanking clip from a mainstream movie on YouTube, and as it so often happens on that site, I found something else entirely. The clip is titled "Munchie Gets Caned":

This is probably the most unapologetically raunchy caning clip I have ever seen on mainstream TV (if you can call Rad Girls mainstream, more about that in the next paragraph). Munchie takes a good half dozen cane strokes on essentially her bare bottom, wearing only the skimpiest of underwear. Then she takes a couple more on her belly, feet, arms, et cetera, all amidst the frat girl howling and giggling of her friends. Ladies and gentlemen, this is all very, very obviously catering to a certain erotic fetish (as is the whole custom of "birthday spankings" in general), but of course, on American television, nobody talks about it being anything erotic or sexual. This being American television, they also bleep out all the swear words, which I think is rather amusing in a "facepalm" sort of way.

Anyway, since I don't watch any TV at all, whatsoever, I have to look up where this came from. Apparently, Rad Girls is basically a female version of MTV's Jackass, with three performers going by the names of "Munchie", " Ramona Ca$h" and "Darling Clementine" doing crude, self-injuring stunts and pranks. It figures that they obviously did not practice their caning skills very much before filming the clip - they are frequently missing her bottom and hitting the back of her legs, which is a big no-no here among us spankos. Rad Girls is broadcast by MavTV, a television channel owned by the Lucas Oil lubricants company (I swear I am not making this up!) and focusing on, in their own words, an "action-oriented family audience".

Sexy young women taking cane strokes on their bare bottoms as family entertainment? I must say, I haven't heard that one before. 

Truth be told, I am not a fan of formats like Jackass. I find it all rather boorish and proletarian, not refined enough for the tastes of a European elitist snob like me. But I thought that this particular clip was rather entertaining on a voyeuristic level - not erotic, but entertaining -, and maybe you will too.

Therapy Revisited

The newest edition of the Wellred Weekly magazine contains an article written by me under the title Therapy?. As some of our long-time readers among you might remember, that was the title of a post on this blog as well back in May 2011.

The basic question of the post was whether our kinky play and our kinky relationships can be used as a kind of "self-therapy". The word "self-therapy" is of course in quotation marks because I don't want to imply that spanking can substitute any real therapy in case of serious issues. What I mean is simply whether the way we live our kink can provide us with things we are missing otherwise and help us to grow.

In my post I also talked about possible risks and downsides of using kink in such a therapeutic way. That led to a very lively discussion in the comment section and inspired the follow-up posts Speculative Questions, Mirror Mirror and My Kinky Therapy. I learned that the question how kink can be used and what possible positive and negative aspects of certain lifestyle choices are is a very emotional field. In my opinion, that doesn't mean that one shouldn't talk about these things. Quite the contrary. But it is very important to make sure to express one's arguments well and not to offend others simply by using misleading wordings.

I think the very interesting discussions which we had here on this blog helped me to make my point much clearer in my Wellred Weekly article. It is basically a rewritten version of all the posts mentioned above, shortened in some aspects but also supplemented with a few new thoughts. So, in case you haven't read the posts here, maybe you are interested in reading the summarized version in the Wellred Weekly magazine. And maybe you will also find some other articles there which catch your interest?!

Kaelah's Corner (Aug 2013): Creative Fourth

Yes folks, it's true, it's my fourth blogiversary! In August 2009, I published my very first post titled A Very Warm Welcome. That was the beginning of a very exciting journey.

Right now I have to admit that my kink plays almost no role at all in my life, though. It's a difficult time, but also an important one. I'm caught between taking control and letting go. I'm going through grief and fear, yet learning more about how to find peace in life. At times I am surrounded by darkness, but I believe that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. In short, this is a time of change and growth.

Which means that my relationship with Ludwig is changing, too. Because as partners change over time, their relationship has to evolve with them, otherwise they have no future together. The great thing about it: New wonderful things come up as well. Buddhist philosophy and meditation practice might not sound as exciting as, for instance, making kinky video clips. But they are great things to explore together as a couple.

In the spirit of change, I have decided to try something new on my blogiversary. Since suffering and loving kindness are so closely bound together (and since this is of course an erotic spanking blog), I have had the idea that Ludwig and I could write and tape a kinky audio story for you.

And we would like YOU to participate in the creative process!

So, if you want, you can give us a two-word phrase in the comment section, which we will then include in our story. Of course, the phrase should make at least some sense so that the story won't become completely ridiculous. I'm looking forward to reading your creative ideas!

All suggestions which are published up to and including Sunday, September 8th (German time) will be used in the story. Anonymous comments don't count, though. If you don't have a blogger profile you can use the Name/URL option and give yourself a random nickname – there is no URL necessary!

Thank you very much to all of you who have accompanied me (us) during the last four years. Quite honestly, I am not really sure what the future will bring and whether I will ever be back as the avid blogger I once was. Right now, my blogiversary has inspired me to try this creative experiment, though. I'm curious to see how it works out. And then we will find out what comes next.

Lupus Pictures Closing Down

In case you have not heard about it yet: Rigid East / Lupus Pictures, the legendary producer of spanking and corporal punishment films, will be closing down next week.

The Czech studio originally started out sixteen years ago under the name Rigid East. In 2000, they became Lupus Pictures and began making ever more polished-looking videos, with a professional crew, professional camera equipment, lavish props and costumes and intricate storylines. It is no exaggeration to say that Lupus changed the genre forever. They were the first to produce anything approaching "real movies", and they made everyone else look like rank amateurs at the time. Even today, among new, ambitious rivals, the Czechs' body of work arguably remains unsurpassed. With Lupus Pictures, "spanking videos" became "spanking films".

As those of you who have read Rohrstock-Palast for a while know, I have a pretty personal history with Lupus as well. Without them, I would not have met and become friends with Niki Flynn, the first model from the West to work with these "werewolves from the East". Without Niki, I would not have started this blog or made any videos of my own. Without the blog and videos, I would never have met my mate Kaelah. In 2009, not very long after Kaelah and I became a couple, I guest starred in a Lupus Pictures film myself, which was a kinky dream come true. I wrote a three-part behind-the-scenes report about the experience: The Company of Wolves, A Dragoon's Life and Topping for Lupus.

So now, Rigid East / Lupus are calling it quits, citing a desire to try out new directions: "We already made the best spanking movies the spankos ever saw. So now it's time to explore new worlds and biggest challenges behind us [sic]. Our goal is to explore and embrace new kinks and go beyond simple spanking. We're striving for the best BDSM movies you ever saw." No false modesty in that, is there?

While I am sad that such a historic producer of spanking films and one with whom I have had such a personal relationship will be closing down, I certainly understand the reasoning. I got a sense myself that Lupus were finding it difficult to surpass what they had already done in terms of "pure" spanking films, and that they were frankly getting a bit bored with the whole thing. Their recent "Lupus Dreams" productions with more BDSM-heavy and explicit content, including real sex, never interested me that much, but again, I understand the desire to experiment and do something new. We will see how Quirky Way, the Czechs' post-Lupus venture, will develop and what they have in mind. I wish them well and will be keeping an eye on them.

In the meantime, you have a few last days left to purchase some films from the legendary Rigid East / Lupus Pictures studio if you like, at a 70% discount (probably, as they write, their final sales auction). Maybe from the Wild Party trilogy, or the Stalin trilogy, or the Headmaster's Study series, or Niki's spanking film debut The Exchange Student, or the wonderful little gem The Last Case of Dr. Freud... Or even A Garden Party with guest stars Adele Haze and yours truly. Damn, they made so much good stuff over the years.

Farewell, werewolves from the East, and thank you. It has been quite an adventure.

Kinky China (Part 2): The Great Wall

Last month, I shared with you the first set of kinky pictures which Ludwig and I shot on our trip to China in the Forbidden City. In this edition you get to see the second set of pictures which we took on the Chinese Wall! We went to a section which was almost completely empty, it was only our guide and us.

With the guide being around, we could of course not shoot any pictures that were too explicit. But who would pass up such a great and unique opportunity to take photos in such a magnificent historical environment?

And then, finally, the big chance was there. Our guide was waiting outside the tower while we were still inside. So, in the hope that the guide would not return to look for us, I quickly dropped my pants and bent over the window ledge for this not really perfect but very special picture.

I hope you like this special view of the Great Wall! Wouldn't it be a fascinating idea to shoot kinky pictures at all the famous sights of the world? Maybe in the Colosseum, in front of a pyramid or on the top of the Empire State Building... What about you, have you ever had kinky fun or taken a kinky picture at a famous sight?

BDSMers Mentally Healthier Than "Vanillas"?

Do people who are into BDSM have a tendency towards violence? Or are they themselves perhaps the victims of past abuses, which they are now re-enacting as part of their sex lives? If your experience of yourself and of our Scene is anything like mine, your answer to both questions will be a resounding no. Indeed, no scientific study has ever found evidence that kinky people are more likely to suffer from psychological problems or to commit violent or criminal acts than the general population. But prejudices to this effect still persist, and are repeated ad nauseam by the tabloids, the prudes and scare-mongers.

So I felt a considerable amount of "Told you so!" mirth when I heard about a recent study, titled Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners, which suggests that practitioners of BDSM might actually be psychologically healthier than the norm. The study was conducted by researchers from Tilburg University in the Netherlands and has an interesting genesis. Andreas Wismeijer, the lead researcher, does not usually study sadism or masochism, but the psychology of secrets. A chance encounter with the founder of the largest BDSM forum in the Netherlands convinced him that this scene might make an intriguing study group. So, Wismeijer asked people from the forum to fill out a series of online psychological questionnaires, and compared their answers to those from a control group of people who are not into BDSM. The participants did not know what the studies were about, exactly, only that they were "on human behaviour". In the end, Wismeijer and his fellow researchers had filled-out questionnaires from 902 BDSM practitioners and 434 people from the non-kinky control group.

It turns out that the BDSM practitioners scored higher on a series of measurements of psychological well-being. As summed up in this article on LiveScience:

The new results reveal that on a basic level, BDSM practitioners don't appear to be more troubled than the general population. They were more extroverted, more open to new experiences and more conscientious than vanilla participants; they were also less neurotic, a personality trait marked by anxiety. BDSM aficionados also scored lower than the general public on rejection sensitivity, a measure of how paranoid people are about others disliking them.

People in the BDSM scene reported higher levels of well-being in the past two weeks than people outside it, and they reported more secure feelings of attachment in their relationships, the researchers found.

I also found the following figures interesting:

Of the BDSM practitioners, 33 percent of the men reported being submissive, 48 percent dominant and 18 percent "switch," or willing to switch between submissive and dominant roles in bed. About 75 percent of the female BDSM respondents were submissive, 8 percent dominant and 16 percent switch.

These roles showed some links to psychological health, such that dominants tended to score highest in all quarters, submissives lowest and switches in the middle. However, submissives never scored lower than vanilla participants on mental health, and frequently scored higher, Wismeijer told LiveScience.

So, doms are supposedly healthier than switches, and both are supposedly healthier than subs? Well, I don't know! Kaelah and I both feel very happy and healthy as switches. In any case, it seems that there is a pretty clear division of preference between the genders even among kinksters from the progressive, liberal Netherlands: half the men are tops, and fully three quarters of the women are bottoms. Purely dominant women are the smallest of the groups, even rarer than female switches. Are the ratios similar in other kinky communities in Germany, Britain and the US? From my personal experience, I would guess that, yes, they are probably similar. Will they change as we progress towards a more and more gender-egalitarian society? Maybe so. It's an intriguing question for sure.

One caveat about the results, and the overall conclusions from the lead researcher:

The study is somewhat limited by a self-selecting response pool and by the fact that BDSM practitioners could have been answering in ways to make themselves look better and avoid stigma, Wismeijer said — though the fact that the participants didn't know the reasons for the study ameliorates that concern somewhat. The findings are reason for mental health professionals to take an accepting approach to BDSM practitioners, Wismeijer said.

"We did not have any findings suggesting that people who practice BDSM have a damaged psychological profile or have some sort of psychopathology or personality disorder," he said.

Wismeijer isn't exactly sure why BDSM practitioners might be psychologically healthier than the general public. They tend to be more aware of their sexual needs and desires than vanilla people, he said, which could translate to less frustration in bed and in relationships. Coming to terms with their unusual sexual predilections and choosing to live the BDSM lifestyle may also take hard psychological work that translates to positive mental health, he said.

I think Wismeijer is probably spot-on about that last point. It may be a nice thought that people with an inclination for BDSM are happier than the general population, period, but I am skeptical about this. I assume that kinky people who are "in the closet", and don't have anyone to talk to about their fantasies or any opportunity to live them out, or who are feeling guilt or shame because of the stigma and the negative prejudices associated with BDSM, are usually very unhappy. On the other hand, people who have embraced their kink as something that is healthy, positive and exciting, and who are "out" in the Scene and talking and playing with others like them, will undoubtedly take great satisfaction and happiness from that. Hence, I believe, the results of the study.

So, at the end of the day, perhaps it is not so much about BDSM versus "vanilla", but about whether or not people are able to be themselves and live out their sexual fantasies with a loved one or like-minded friends.