Player vs Writer

 (I seem to be more of a storyteller than a player.)

In my recent post Professional Service, I wrote that if I lost my mate Ludwig, I would most probably not partake in much spanking action at all and just play out fantasies in my head instead. I read several spanking party reports lately and Donpascual brought up the topic of playing with like-minded people in the community in his recent comments on this blog as well. So, I have been thinking quite a lot about this topic in the last days.

The thing is, I don't feel much envy when I read reports about spanking events I haven't been to. At least not in the sense that I wished I could have participated in all the play sessions which were taking place. I know that many fellow kinksters have those feelings, though, and that many of those who are living out their kink go to lots of events and play a lot with many different people. But for several reasons, that doesn't hold much attraction for me. The only kinds of regret that I sometimes feel when reading party reports are that I would have liked to meet and chat with some kinky friends of ours who attended the event and that I would love to have similarly fascinating stories to tell on the blog.

And it's not only about playing with others. Ludwig and I also play much less with each other than many other couples or spankos in general. It's not that we don't enjoy spanking each other. But often, cuddling and sharing time otherwise is equally or much more important. Additionally, I don't have any problem with enjoying erotic "vanilla" activities as well, as long as there is a certain kinky fantasy in my head as a background story. I don't always have to live out that kinky part. And if we do have a great spanking scene, then I often end up with the thought: Wow, it will be great to write about that on the blog!

(I don't play a lot with others, but if I do, it often is for videos.

Picture courtesy of Dreams of Spanking.)

In addition to that, Ludwig's and my more complex scene ideas are often captured on video, sometimes together with friends of ours. When we shoot videos, I usually don't let myself fall into the scene and I don't have any regrets about that. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the work of making videos and sometimes, the headspace can be fascinating, too. For example, when I played that soulless goon in Psychic Weapon: C. But usually, the creative act of telling a story and the final product are the two things which are of much more interest for me than the kinky experience. And again, writing about the experience and publishing the edited video is one of my favourite parts. That's why I also enjoy shooting creative photos and publishing them on the blog, accompanied by little storylines.

I short, when it comes to kink, I consider myself much more of a writer and storyteller than a player. I guess that is also one of the reasons why I managed to live without any kinky activities for such a long time, without having the feeling that something fundamental was missing. I had my fantasies (usually M/M with me just being an observer) which I played out in my head, and that was fine. This is also one of the reasons why I think that I wouldn't suddenly feel the strong need to go out and have lots of spanking adventures with different people if Ludwig weren't my mate any more.

Just to make that absolutely clear: I love my kinky play with Ludwig and occasionally with others, and I wouldn't want to miss out on it! Sometimes I even wished that I could play more frequently. But still it seems to me that I need to play less frequently than many others in the community. Instead, I seem to get much more out of writing and telling stories than others probably do.

What about you? How strong is your desire for (regular) kinky play? Do you envy those who write frequent party reports and are involved in lots of play sessions? Or are there others like me out there (other than Ludwig who ticks quite similarly when it comes to playing vs storytelling)?