I knew exactly what he meant and his stern voice send a shiver through my spine. The day went by and so went the evening after we had returned back home. When it was time to go to sleep, I had already forgotten Ludwig's announcement. But I was sharply reminded of it when I came into the bedroom and found Ludwig already waiting for me, flexing a cane in his hands.
I explained that I needed a little moment to get ready for the caning and Ludwig told me to go and prepare myself. In the bathroom, two little voices in my head had a little discussion. As you all know, Ludwig and I don't do discipline spankings. So, it was absolutely clear that my bad habit was just an excuse on Ludwig's behalf for some spanking play with the added thrill of a realistic background. My problem was that the habit of being constantly in a rush is something that I really want to work on for both health reasons and for not making others hurry as well or letting them wait for me. And I knew that Ludwig really hadn't been too happy about having to rush because of me several times in the past. But I knew that teaching me some kind of lesson really wasn't the point here, it was all about relieving some stress and turning it into something positive and erotic. So, little voice one told little voice two not to worry about all the more extreme DD stuff which I had recently read and which had made me feel highly uncomfortable, but to enjoy our way of doing things.
With that in mind I went back to the bedroom. Ludwig told me to pull down my trousers and knickers, to bend over and support my weight by putting my hands on a low board. He then lectured me about not making him run around all the time by trying to do too many things shortly before we are about to leave for an appointment. His lecture was accompanied by twelve sharp strokes with the whippy rattan cane. I tried to get into the right mindset, to enjoy Ludwig's dominance and the challenge of dealing with the pain – and failed. Instead, I struggled really hard to take the ordeal and by the end tears had swelled in my eyes from the pain and the frustration of not being able to go along with the scene. Ludwig realised that quickly and ordered me over his lap where he continued with his hand. But even then I wasn't able to relax into the spanking. I tried to cry a bit but it didn't give me any relief, either.
Ludwig stopped and pulled me into his arms. "You just don't get into the right mood when there is a real-life background to a spanking", he said. As I lay on the bed, embraced by Ludwig, my pants still around my ankles, I tried to gather my thoughts and feelings. I told Ludwig that my mind hadn't gone blank like it had before. But there was still that fear that he could really think I needed or deserved a punishment in order to change my behaviour, because that's how many others obviously deal with things. And I couldn't relax into the scene because I was scared that Ludwig was really upset and that I had hurt him.
Actually, I think one aspect that really bothered me, is that spanking would most possibly indeed work quite well to make me change my behaviour - out of fear. It would also mean that I wouldn't feel comfortable to share my faults with my partner any more, as I realised a few days later when I told Ludwig about a mistake which I had made and which I knew could potentially upset him. I need that openness, though, and I think that forgiveness shouldn't have to be earned in a love relationship but granted for free. But that's the topic of another post.
Anyhow, Ludwig reassured me that he doesn't at all believe in spanking as a way to change behaviour in a love relationship. He just enjoys the thrill of adding some real-life background to our play and maybe even using a spanking to release some tension and turn it into a shared erotic experience. I very much like that approach and told Ludwig that I didn't understand why I couldn't get into the right mindset for that. "That's because you feel guilty for things too easily ", Ludwig replied. And he was right!
Ludwig suggested to go to bed but I felt revitalized and had something different on my mind. I pushed myself up on all fours in order to be able to look around the room. Ludwig grinned and told me that I better shouldn't do that, especially not with my pants and knickers still around my ankles. I had found what I had been searching for, though, and left the bed, remaining on all fours. That way I made it to the nearby table, where I had spotted the cane. Like a petgirl, I took the cane with my teeth, turned around and made my way back to Ludwig. We both had to laugh because I realised how difficult it is to grab and carry a cane with one's teeth and lost it twice on my way.
Back at the bed, I put the cane onto Ludwig's lap. He looked at me, puzzled. I explained myself by simply going onto the bed on all fours, lowering my head down and pushing my bottom up into the air. "So, you want me to cane you again?" - It didn't take much to convince Ludwig. And so, the cane bit into my buttocks for the second time that evening. After stroke number two or three, I started questioning my sanity. Luckily, Ludwig granted me a few more seconds in between the next strokes when I asked him for it. After the second dozen on that day, Ludwig decided that I was done. When I looked at the marks, I realised to my relief that I hadn't been such a bad wimp the whole time as I had thought. There were some visible red tramlines.
We quickly took a picture which unfortunately doesn't really do the marks justice. And then I submissively attended to Ludwig, showing him my gratefulness. Ah, wait a moment! Nope. That was not exactly what happened. Instead, for some reason, my dominant side suddenly took over. Which didn't keep me from attending to Ludwig, though.