Thursday, May 31, 2018

Kaelah's Corner (Mai 2018):
New Horizons

In my last Kaelah's Corner posts, I wrote about stretching my boundaries in the field of how much I show of myself on this blog. Today I would like to start another series of posts on a related topic, another field in which I have defined my limits new and gained so much from it that it can hardly be expressed accurately.

There has always been one form of kinky play about which I have read accounts with great interest, but always knew that it wouldn't be for me. What I am talking about are scenes without a safeword. Now, as Adele Haze once aptly explained on her now-defunct blog, strictly seen there is no such thing as kinky play without a safeword. Because as soon as one participant says something along the lines of "I herewith withdraw my consent. Everything that happens from now on is harassment," that means the scene has to stop immediately, no matter what was agreed upon beforehand.

But nonetheless many fellow kinksters have taken part in spankings or related kinky activities where no explicit safeword was agreed upon and where it even was the understanding of all participants that safewording was not expected to happen. For some this is the setting when it comes to real life discipline. Others also do play scenarios which are explicitly declared as having no safeword. For instance, Emma Jane wrote a report about such a scene here several years ago. Those scenes are usually very dark, designed to take the bottoms to their limits and beyond.

When I read about scenes like that, a part of me always asked why someone would put themselves up to anything like that, given that in real life there are enough dark and sad situations where we don't have much control, anyway. But I understood that there was a difference between those dark scenes and reality. First of all, the participants trusted the tops they played with to make sure that no real harm was caused. And from the description of the bottoms it became clear that they weren't really broken after the scene was over. Instead they seemed to be flying, getting stronger from having survived the experience. And they were caught by the tops who, as soon as the scene was over, pampered them and made sure they were okay.

That was the part that always somehow intrigued me. I knew that for me, setting myself up for such a dark scenario would do nothing good. I would simply be broken and not flying afterwards. And I have made too many experiences with panic attacks in real life situations where I only had limited control for experiences like that to have any appeal for me. Still, I always wondered whether there could be a scenario in which I would experience something similar and gain the same feeling of strength and happiness.

Today I know that this scenario really exists. I have been through it and it resembled nothing I had experienced in my life until then. It was of course different in some ways from what my fellow kinksters described in their play reports. But when I thought about it afterwards, it came to me in how many regards my experience resembled what I had read from others.

In my next posts I will write more about what happened. And I think you are going to understand what I am talking about. For now, I would like to ask you how you feel about kinky play “without a safeword” and about real-life events that require giving up control. Under which conditions would you be willing to set yourself up for either of them? Have you ever gained a lot by doing it? I would be very glad to read about your thoughts and experiences in the comment section!

No comments: