The Patu – A Pervertible Implement from NZ

This is the second part of my series about our adventures in New Zealand. Part one was about some naughty outdoor pictures that we shot in the wonderful nature which this great country is famous for. This post is about a pervertible implement Ludwig and I came across. It is a traditional Māori combat weapon called Patu. When I saw it in a souvenir shop, I just had to take this wonderfully crafted specimen with me, even though it was quite expensive.

Traditionally, the Patu was a dangerous weapon which was used in combat. Here is what Wikipedia says about the Patu: "A patu is a generic term for a club or pounder used by the Māori, the indigenous people of New Zealand. The word patu in the Māori language means to strike, hit, beat, or subdue. [...] This type of short-handled clubs were handmade weapons used during inter-tribal wars. A patu is mainly used as a striking weapon. The blow administered with this weapon was a horizontal thrust straight from the shoulder at the enemy’s temple. If the foe could be grasped by the hair then the patu would be driven up under the ribs or jaw. Patu were made from hardwood, whale bone, or stone. The most prestigious material for the patu was pounamu (greenstone). Patu made from pounamu were generally called 'mere'. Maori decorated the patu by carving into the wood, bone or stone."

Ludwig and I discussed whether it was okay to write about the usage of a Patu as a spanking implement because special Patu made of greenstone can also have a spiritual quality. We don't want to give the impression that we don't take the Māori traditions seriously. But while our Patu is of beautiful craftsmanship, it is of course not a traditional one that holds any special spiritual value. Plus, and that is the main reason why I don't see our usage as an affront against the Māori culture, for us spanking is something positive, valuable, loving and empowering. In that respect, I even think that the symbolic meaning of the Patu fits our view of spanking very well. Because today, the Patu is often seen as a symbol of facing and overcoming life's challenges. So, in my opinion, it is a great pervertible implement especially for empowering scenes which are about rites of passage.

Our Patu is made of rimu, a tree which only grows in New Zealand. It is decorated with carvings and inlayed with a paua shell. It has a smooth surface but is rather thick (about 2 cm maximum) and heavy. So it has to be used with care as a spanking implement, unless one is okay with severe bruising. Even used with medium force, the Patu already definitely gets the spankee's attention. As you can see in the picture at the beginning of the post, it reddens the cheeks easily.

Ludwig let me bend over a chair with my hands on the seat for our little test session. As usual, there was no warm-up and we started directly on the bare. Ludwig started out rather lightly, though, producing a sensation that still included a surprisingly high amount of sting, given the heaviness of the implement. He really didn't need to use much force for me to feel the power of the Patu. Ludwig increased the severity a bit after a while, but didn't go really hard because he doesn't like the bull's-eye marks which can be caused by paddles and didn't want to cause any bruising.

When I complained afterwards about the marks not being strong enough for a picture, though, Ludwig grabbed the Patu again and gave me a few fast, slightly harder smacks. Those certainly had me squirming and ouching! I guess I better shouldn't mess with Ludwig when the Patu is somewhere nearby. It causes a wonderful warm glow afterwards, though. I guess we won't use it too often because Ludwig and I both aren't so much into paddles. But still, for us, our Patu is a nice pervertible implement and a wonderful reminder of a fascinating trip to a great country.