Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Kaelah's Corner (Nov 2010): Top Or Flop?

In the last edition of Kaelah's Corner titled Both Sides Of The Story I told you what switching in my relationship with Ludwig means to me. I analysed in how far Ludwig's and my tastes as tops and bottoms are similar and where they differ. As it turned out our basic preferences are quite similar although there are of course certain differences concerning the limits we both have. My first topping experience and the feelings I had before, during and after the scene will be the topic of today's and next month's post.

When Ludwig made his decision to pay his football bet debts it was clear to me right from the beginning that I wanted to be part of this special event. And after a lot of thinking and some talk we decided that I wouldn't only be an observer but an active top. To make it a bit easier for me, I would only participate in the back whipping and the wonderful Leia-Ann Woods, who had kindly accepted our invitation to be the main top for the scene, would administer the cane strokes alone. After all, Leia-Ann was much more experienced while this was the first time ever for me to spank someone!

I was very glad that we had decided to ask Leia-Ann to be the debt collector. Despite of many differences between her and my kinky fantasies, I always feel very relaxed in her presence and it seems to me that we are somehow on the same wavelength. When we had met Leia-Ann for the first time for dinner last year there had already been a lot of joking and laughing. And it was exactly the same when we met for shooting the clip.

(Leia-Ann and me fooling around.)

As a matter of fact I've rarely been that relaxed in front of a camera, at least not right from the beginning. Partly this might have been because I obviously feel more comfortable as a top than I do as a bottom on a shoot and because we didn't film any acting scenes which are more difficult for me than pure action scenes, especially in a foreign language. But I think the main credit for this goes to Leia-Ann and her relaxed and happy attitude which blew away my concerns and my usual strict focus on doing a good “job”. Instead I was having fun and enjoying the time with Ludwig and Leia-Ann, of course without forgetting to look for good camera angles and a set-up that would make a beautiful clip.

Of course, the prospect of co-topping with Leia-Ann had made me very nervous at first. After all Leia-Ann isn't only a very experienced top, she is also an incredibly beautiful and elegant woman. I wasn't sure whether Leia-Ann would be fine working with an inexperienced newbie like me. And to be honest, what scared me even more was the thought of looking like a short-legged dachshund next to her. But the fun we had during the shoot also made me forget about these fears. Even though our very first scenes showed that they weren't far fetched.

At the beginning Leia-Ann and I took our share of six flogger strokes each. I was quite happy with my posture, but when I saw Leia-Ann taking position I just hoped that I wouldn't look too clumsy compared to that elegant lady! We both received our strokes with the flogger we were going to use on Ludwig later. It already became clear at that point that my flogger was much meaner than the one Leia-Ann had chosen. Hers was very heavy and looked and sounded very impressive. It wasn't exactly a light flogger, but it produced less pain and marks than the one Ludwig and I had brought. Our specimen looks rather innocent, but it is made of heavy rubber and its tips are quite sharp. Ludwig and I had tried to get a fitting second one for the clip, but surprisingly the company which produced these floggers didn't seem to exist any more. I wonder why?

(Pure elegance and...)

However, I was very happy when Leia-Ann with all her experience confirmed after inspecting our flogger that this specimen wasn't to be underestimated. To my mind it also wasn't too easy to handle. I had only had the chance to practise on a living object twice. Each time Ludwig had had a big pillow tied behind his upper back which made him look a bit like Quasimodo, the famous hunchback of Notre Dame. My aim was to neither hit Ludwig's spine with the tips of the flogger nor to let it wrap around, which meant that there was only a rather small target area left. I realised that therefore my technique of swinging the flogger was different from Leia-Ann's whipping technique. But she told me that my technique looked appropriate for the characteristics of the implement which reassured me a lot.

I always said that accuracy was highly important for me when playing as a bottom or watching a scene. It is something I expect from everyone who seriously calls him- or herself a top. Of course a mishit can happen, especially if someone hasn't got much experience as a top or when experimenting with a new implement. But still the high expectations I usually have of myself made me consider any mishit as being unacceptable. So my biggest fear was that the first stroke might not be on target and that I would probably never try it again, being afraid of injuring someone.

On the other hand I didn't want to hit too softly. As they say, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. And of course I wanted to make an impression on Ludwig as well as on the viewers of the clip. After all my very first experience with topping would be taped on camera and published! I was sure that the video would automatically be compared to the famous Comeuppance clip. Niki Flynn been had been a fantastic top, so I knew that the expectations would be very high.

How could I meet those high quality standards not only concerning the severity and accuracy but also the psychological part of topping? Would Ludwig get anything out of my topping style and would it meet his preferences? I knew that Ludwig only switches on very rare occasions and prefers to be spanked properly when he does. So of course I wanted to fulfil this desire as well. Since the clip didn't only feature Ludwig and me but Leia-Ann as well, it was also clear that there would be no chance to redo the scene or to back out once the flogging had started. Quite frankly all these thoughts had bothered me a lot in the weeks before the shoot.

(...the dachshund version.)

Of course there had been excitement as well. I had been looking forward to this rare chance to top my mate. My attempt was to show him how mean that sweet little flogger which he had so often used on me really was! I wanted to see his reactions on the flogging in the knowledge that it was me who provoked these reactions. And I wanted to know how it is to spank someone, what kind of top I would be and how I would feel during the scene.

It was this mixture of concerns and excitement that was still inside me during the beginning of the shoot. Even though, as I already mentioned, fooling around with Leia-Ann didn't give me much time for worrying. And then suddenly the big moment was there. Ludwig had taken off his shirt and assumed his position. I checked the cameras at least twice to make sure that they were both running. Leia-Ann, being left-handed, was standing on Ludwig's right side and I assumed my position on the left.

Suddenly I realised that Leia-Ann and I hadn't talked about who would start. Within a sub-second time I decided to go first. I made eye-contact with Leia-Ann and gave her a signal. Then I lifted the flogger, took aim and applied the first-ever stroke of my life on Ludwig's bare skin. The flogger landed right on target. And it clearly elicited a reaction from Ludwig. All the fears and concerns that had bothered me during the recent weeks started to fade... [To be continued]

(Finally taking aim myself!)

How about you? Can you recall your feelings prior to your first topping experience? Was there a lot of excitement? Did you have any concerns? Who was involved in the scene and what kind of relationship did the participants have? And where did it happen, in private or in public? Or are you maybe still in the process of deciding whether to take the plunge or not? I'm looking forward to reading your stories and thoughts in the comment section!

14 comments:

Leia-Ann Woods said...

Excellent post and I still remember it as a truly enjoyable afternoon of kink and laughter. I do hope the films came out OK.

simon said...

all i can say is i do like girls in tight jeans.love simon.

Oli said...

I can fully agree with both, Simon and Leia-Ann. And I would be very glad to see the fully clip.
Ah, and Leia-Ann, you really have a very, a very very nice ass in that jeans - I love it.
Oli

Pandora Blake said...

Kaelah, while you are good-looking and attractive as a bottom, from these pics (and my imagination based on what I know of you) I have to confess that as a top I find you even more appealing. You look poised, sharp, like it would be impossible to slip anything past you - and very elegant with your slender waist and natural grace. I'm looking forward to seeing the clip, but I suspect you and Leia-Ann will enhance each other rather than one of you showing the other up!

I sympathise with your worries prior to the shoot - while I don't have much topping experience I think our tendency towards and anxiety perfectionism is quite similar, so I would probably respond the same in your position. I'm very glad that Leia-Ann was able to put you at your ease, and that you were able to forget your worries when you got started!

That last picture is seriously hot. Can't wait to see the finished clip :)

Kaelah said...

@ Leia-Ann:

I haven't edited the footage, yet, but I've taken a look at it and I think the fun we had is really visible, as are the marks on Ludwig's back and bottom... ;-) I bought a film editing software a few weeks ago. Ludwig is still in the process of post production for our very first clip which is older than one year now and I want to edit my blogiversary spanking clip in the next weeks. After that I will hopefully have a better understanding of how that software works, so that Ludwig and I can film the commentary scenes for our clip and start with the final editing. But I'm very confident that the final clip will be very funny and sexy!

Thanks again for that wonderful day! I'm sure the second part of my account will show even more how much I finally enjoyed it! Actually, the worries that I mentioned weren't on my mind as constantly as it might sound from my description. But they popped up from time to time, until after the first stroke had struck target... :-)


@ Simon:

Who doesn't? ;-) BTW, I like well-groomed boys in tight jeans, too, preferably without a shirt and tied up and whipped and, ahem, sorry, lost myself in beautiful images... ;-)


@ Oli:

I guess that the clip will be released some time around spring next year.

In case you don't want to wait that long, Leia-Ann has starred in a lot of great spanking clips, so you can watch one of those in the meantime. Ludwig will soon write a review on one of Leia-Ann's latest films, anyway. I've seen a bit of the clip and I don't think she is wearing a jeans in it, but I'm sure you'll like it nonetheless! ;-)

As for Ludwig and me, we have made some other little clips (with me as a bottom) and one of them will definitely be released this year. Of course it isn't a professional spanking film, but we put a lot of time and effort into it and it will be published for free here on the blog. So don't forget to check it out!


@ Pandora:

Thank you so much for your kind compliments! ;-) I really like the footage (which is rare for a perfectionist like me) and I think that Leia-Ann and I match quite well in our co-topping scene! Like I wrote in my reply to Leia-Ann's comment I wasn't worried the whole time, anyway. But all those questions I mentioned popped up from time to time and I was actually quite shocked about how deep I went into a certain headspace when the whipping had finally started and how good it felt! I'll write more about that in the second part of my post.

I'm not really sure, but maybe I'm really a bottom in my sexual play and a switch with a tendency towards topping in my casual play with friends? While I'm not that comfortable with the thought of bottoming for others than Ludwig, except for very special scenarios and occasions, the prospect of topping others is more appealing and less frightening. I think it will always be a mixture, because obviously one part of of my emotional legitimation as a top is that I have done scenes as a bottom as well and therefore know how it feels to be on the other side of the cane, whip or whatever.

Morgrim said...

My first experience was semi-impromptu. Well, more I got it sprung on me unexpectedly by a bottom that knew exactly what she was doing and acting provokingly. And pressed her leather collar into my hands.

The non-studded (or at least not going the whole way through) leather 'dog collar' style ones make surprisingly good pervertables to use opportunistically on shoulders, btw. Not very hard, but a narrow sharp sting, and small enough to target areas it could be risky to drift toward with a bigger implement.

'Nervous' is probably an understatement. I had no clue what I was doing, had a grand total experience of 4 mucking about type strokes with the thing myself, and figuring out finer technique as I went. I was later informed I was rather good at it. Go figure.

I think you had the much better idea.

Kaelah said...

@ Morgrim:
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I had hoped to read about many more first-time topping experiences here in the comment section. I've read quite a few stories about first-time bottoming experiences, but not many about topping.

I think you dealt very well with that unexpected situation! I'm not sure whether I would have been able to react at all, I hate not having a plan... ;-)

Peter8862 said...

Much enjoyed your Top or Flop, especially the shot of Ludwig contemplating your unblemished back. Was it your T-shirt that had been dropped on the rug ?
My first experience as a top was in the basement of the Club de Sade in Hamburg many years ago. I had negotiated an hour's switching session with a mature lady in between the live shows and the spanking films. She was wearing an expensive cane-proof leather outfit but I insisted on her changing into a silky nightie that I had thoughtfully brought along while I wore black running shorts. Both ended in shreds before the hour was up. I remember my first stroke with a martinet wrapped around her thigh too far, which she quickly pointed out as taboo. We moved the whipping stool and all was well.
The hour went by very quickly but we both thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and she taught me a lot. She was particularly excited by the stripping and proudly showed the slashed dress to her colleagues. It made me a marked man !
I'm all agog to see your clips.

Mija said...

It was wonderful to read this and I totally echo Pandora in saying the pictures are beautiful and you look quite stunning holding that flogger.

I started a reply here but lost tract due to the small window so I've answered your questions about my first time topping over on my blog. It's a mere shadow of the substance you have given us here however.

Kaelah said...

@ Peter:
Thank you so much for sharing your story! :-) I didn't know that you made your first experience as a top in Germany! But I'm somehow not surprised that the scene included a shredded gown... ;-)

@ Mija:
Wow, thank you for taking the time to write your own post about the topic! :-) Interestingly, your first topping experience reminds me a bit of the second time I topped Ludwig. I'll write a bit more about that in a comment on your post.

Ursus Lewis said...

I just realized I never commented on that post.... Since you published the second part I read this post again and like to share my thoughts.

I was very concerned about me to top somebody first time. I was feared to hurt the spankee in a wrong way, if that make sense. So it took me a while to get comfortable to do it the first time and it took me a few spankings to feel completely relaxed.

I explored the spanking universe as bottom first, even though I knew I've more top fantasies than bottom ones. But I had to know first how spankings feel on the receiving end.

The top I played quite a bit at this time - a good friend - finally brought my top side out of me and let me even spank her. It was in private and I enjoyed it very much. Since ever then, I can not be without it anymore :)

Kaelah said...

@ Ursus:
Thank you very much for sharing your story! I think a fitting play partner and a pleasant environment are two important ingredients for a good first-time experience as a spanker. And I think that having been on the receiving end before also helps a lot and makes one feel more comfortable. At least that was true for me. And Ludwig also made his first experiences as a bottom, despite of being a top, in order to know how a spanking feels like before dishing one out.

MasonPearson said...

A Dachshund look? Naah, can't see that at all. The legs are fine, the waist is fine...well...you get the gist...the whole 'package' is quite wonderful.

Kaelah said...

@ MasonPearson:
Thanks! :-)