Friday, August 6, 2010

Creative Debts

As Kaelah kindly pointed out in No Woman No Cry, I am going to pay for my ancient football betting debts from 2008 after all. Which means that, after Ludwig's Comeuppance, you are going to see a second F/M caning clip with me soon. Whipping and caning this time, actually. No, please don't fall over yourselves while you rush in to express your sympathy.

The whole story goes back to a bet I once made with Niki Flynn about a friendly match between the German and the English national football team. The Germans promptly lost the match 1:2 and I lost the bet with them (to add insult to injury, it was one of only three defeats out of the last ten times when they met England). Alas, Niki and I never had the opportunity to get together again before she retired from the Scene about a year later, and so the video clip we had announced to resolve the affair was never filmed.

It was the right thing for Niki to do - by 2009, her head and heart simply were not in the kinky world anymore, and she had to move on. I never resented her decision. Still, it was disappointing, on a creative level, that none of the projects we had once planned would ever come to fruition. We had put a considerable amount of preparation into some of them, writing scripts, buying costumes, working out logistics. Emotionally, the F/M football bet clip was probably the easiest loss for me. It was one of the smaller projects and I am really a top, anyway (truth be told, when I came up with the harebrained idea in the first place, I was fully expecting Germany to win). Nonetheless, it felt awkward not to do it, because we had announced it publicly and quite a lot of people were looking forward to that clip in particular.

Actually, the reader response had been extraordinary. When Niki and I made our bet and asked people to bet on the outcome of the match as well (correct guesses would add further strokes to the loser's ordeal), a comment thread developed that became the longest ever on Niki's blog. She deleted the blog when she retired, but I still have that post on my hard disk. There were 113 responses in total. While some readers were bummed when Germany lost the match, others were looking forward all the more to what was now going to be an F/M clip instead of M/F. Eager to see the sadistic top having to switch again. I felt bad about letting them down. As a matter of fact, I almost felt as if I had chickened out somehow, even though it was Niki who retired and it was not my fault at all.

At the same time, I just could not imagine doing the clip anymore. To begin with, it would have required finding a worthy replacement for Niki, which was mighty difficult in itself. It would have to be someone with the same degree of fame in the community and with a similar kind of charisma. A model who was mostly known for her work as a bottom, so that we could get the appropriate "role reversal" dynamic, but who also switched and had experience in swinging a cane (if you watched my clip with Niki, you know that her technique was excellent, better than that of many tops). Needless to say, it also had to be an Englishwoman, or at least a native English speaker, because of the "England vs. Germany" theme. In addition to these "formal" requirements, there were personal, emotional ones. I switch very rarely, and when I do, I am extremely picky about the top who gets to top me. There are preciously few people who I can imagine doing an F/M video with.

Even if it had been possible to find a replacement who met all the requirements, an entirely separate, crucial fact remained: I just did not feel like switching anymore. Ever since we had filmed Ludwig's Comeuppance, I had felt no desire whatsoever to go to the other side again. Normally, after a year or so, the curiosity begins to slowly return. But this time, the opposite was the case. The more time passed, the less likely it seemed that I would ever feel like switching again.

It's not that I had been unhappy with Ludwig's Comeuppance. On the contrary, I was very pleased with how that clip had turned out. Consequently, there was no necessity to do another one like it. One of the points where you can see that I am a top and not a bottom is the fact that I do not care to simply repeat experiences I make as a bottom. I can repeat experiences I make as a top until kingdom come and enjoy it - spanking the same girl, in the same setting, with the same implement... Sure, you try to get a bit more variety than that, but it would never get boring, either. The excitement of the act itself always remains. When I switch, however, it is a totally different story. I suppose there are certain "boxes" I want to tick, and once I have ticked them, I do not go back. I made my first spanking experience as a bottom because I wanted to know what it feels like before I did it to someone else. Once I knew, I never did another F/M scene "just to get spanked". My next box was to search for a pro domme who could accurately dish out a very severe, Mood Pictures-style caning. After a few tries, I found her in Hamburg. That was the end of my going to pro dommes. Years later, I did Ludwig's Comeuppance with Niki, because I wanted to make one F/M video for the blog sometime. Tick. What else was there to do now?

My first thought when England scored the winning goal had been: oh crap, now we have to do Ludwig's Comeuppance Part II. How the hell do we make that interesting? I knew that most viewers would have no objections against just seeing another, similar clip like it. But I had objections against making it. Even with a slightly different setting, two implements instead of one, maybe a different punishment position, it was not different enough to be interesting for me. It felt like a mere, lesser repetition, a superfluous exercise. When it became clear that Niki was going to retire before we had the chance to film something again, part of me felt bad about disappointing the fans who were looking forward to the football bet clip, but another part of me was relieved. At least it would spare me from doing another F/M scene when my heart was not in it at all.

Besides, this was the time when I met Kaelah, the spring of 2009. So it is safe to say that I was completely occupied with other things for the time being. On the kinky side, I was in a very "toppish" frame of mind. I think I developed more toppish, more dominant fantasies with Kaelah than with any woman before her, because of the intimate nature of our relationship and the fact that she is such a strong, equal partner in terms of character and intellect. I'd had them separately before, intimate relationships and equal opposites, but never in combination. It certainly makes for an inspiring kinky life as well. By today, we have developed a master / slave fantasy universe, among other things, that is quite unlike anything I have done before. I never expected to be interested in anything like it, either. But with Kaeah, I am.

While Kaelah is responsible for driving me to more dominant extremes than anyone before her, making me feel that it is quite alright to use and abuse her in ways that would have seemed inappropriate with other, lesser partners, she is also, to a large extent, responsible for me doing another F/M clip now. Kaelah has always had an interest in switching. Like me, she has a curiosity to leave "one's own side" and go to "the other side", thereby gaining a more complete understanding of the kinky experience. Our other motives for switching are very different, I believe, but this striving for a complete experience is probably similar. In any case, we knew that the interest was there with her and that we would pursue it someday. In this context, it would be new and exciting for me as well - switching for a partner in an intimate relationship is a box I have not ticked yet. We also knew that we would probably make some kind of video of the occasion. An F/M clip with Niki Flynn and me already existed, so it would have been inconceivable for me to deny my girlfriend the same opportunity if she wanted to have it. And of course, she did. Kaelah is a terrible show-off, and moreover, she does like to - ahem! - mark her territory.

To cut a long story short, we jointly developed the idea that, if I was ever going to pay off my old betting debts after all, Kaelah should be involved in the video as well. With her and a yet to be determined English spanking model-turned-domme to take Niki's place, it would become an FF/M scene. There was another thing I had never tried (dared?) before - getting thrashed by two tops. It was an intimidating and at the same time arousing thought, in typical kinky fashion. Also a very common scenario in spanking movies and, therefore, something a sadistic viewer and armchair movie critic ought to try out on the receiving end at least once...

Under these aspects, 1) fulfilling a wish of my partner and 2) making an FF/M scene for the first (and probably only) time, it was not Ludwig's Comeuppance Part II anymore. It became a fresh, new and exciting project. Of course, there were factors that cautioned us as well. It would be Kaelah's first time switching, so having another domme and a camera present might be a bit too much under the circumstances. Too many firsts for one day. On the other hand, we reasoned, it might actually make things easier. So far, we had always had a great time when we collaborated on something creative for the viewers. And when it came to switching, having a second, more experienced domme in the scene would take some of the workload off Kaelah. Kaelah could focus on those parts which she wanted to try out first, while leaving others where she did not yet feel experienced enough to her co-conspirator. On balance, we thought that the positives outweighed the negatives, that it would be a good environment for Kaelah to make her first forays to the other side. We would definitely give it a try, as long as we could find the right English lady for the occasion.

Well, we have found her, she is only too happy to take part, and I will finally reveal her identity to you on the weekend. Then, you the readers will also have the opportunity to give some creative input on a couple of points. Kaelah, the mystery domme and I are still undecided about some details of the clip - we could imagine a number of interesting, exciting ways in which it could be done. So, we will be happy to take your suggestions on board as well, if you have any.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aaaah, poooooor diddums, we're sooooooo sorry for you and mad at that naaaaasty Kaelah getting you into this awwwwwful jam, suuuuuuuch hard luck, we feel your pain... OK, enough sympathy?

In other words, I look forward to it a lot. I really enjoyed Comeuppance, even though FM isn't usually my thing - your reactions were absolutely at the sweet spot as far as I'm concerned. Will keep watching this space!

Anna

Anonymous said...

Am meisten hat mir an Comeuppance der Gesichtsausdruck von Niki gefallen - sie hat es genossen, das zu tun. Hoffe auf ähnliches in der Fußballwette...

Oli

Peter8862 said...

I have a suggestion : Male bottoms look best to me as a heterosexual if they are caned in short and shiny shorts for part at least of the session. It is in any case a football bet...

Morgrim said...

Kaelah: good luck on your first steps into the topping side of things. You'll find it is a completely different and yet wonderfully complimentary kind of rush, at least in my experience. I'm quite intrigued how things will turn out.

Ludwig: I hope you enjoy the dread leading up to it and the reflection looking back.

Ursus Lewis said...

I am certainly looking forward to your next post in his manner. Sounds like an interesting project and I can't wait for its result.

Anonymous said...

Well, someone like the delightful Amy Hunter comes to mind. Erica Delmar, perhaps, too.
Any way, there are a few english dommes around who will make your behind a cauldron, :-).

Donpascual

EmmaJane said...

Oooh don't leave us in suspense! Who is it?

I will admit that I'm not as keen to see the actual clip as much as I am to read your and Kaelah's thoughts on the experience. Don't leave us waiting too long.

Pandora Blake said...

I can think of quite a few candidates! I'm really looking forward to seeing the results and reading about the experience. And I have to admit, the idea of a caning which starts over tight football shorts and progresses onto the bare sounds pretty appealing to me, too...

Ludwig said...

I regret to keep you all waiting one day longer than originally announced, but I had some things to take care of over the weekend. The mystery domme will definitely be revealed this evening, though, only a few hours from now.

@ Oli: Danke für den Kommentar. And I'll translate it to English for the others: "What I liked most about Comeuppance was Niki's facial expression - she enjoyed doing that. I hope for similar things in the football bet..."

@ Peter, Pandora: Personally, from a viewer's perspective, I am not a fan of CP over clothes. So I would prefer it if the whole caning were on the bare. That said, if everyone is in favour of shorts, I will consider them.

@ Donpascual: I am sure that Amy Hunter and Erica Delmar are perfectly wonderful people (I've exchanged some emails with Amy), but since I have not met either of them in person yet, they would seem like unlikely candidates for me to do an F/M video with, wouldn't they? Surely you can make better guesses than that.

Pandora Blake said...

Ludwig - Erica is Leia, so you have met her!

Leia-Ann Woods said...

Ludwig - Pandora is correct. I am Erica Delamar. For some reason SOL did not like Leia-Ann Woods and so gave me that name. While they had every right to do this it has caused endless confusion!

Ludwig said...

@ Pandora, Leia: Oh, I see. That explains why the name rang a bell (I had read it somewhere) without me being able to associate a person with it.

Well, it looks as if Donpascual was correct in his guess after all.

Anonymous said...

I would like some humiliation to begin the session. Say, female attire. The two doms could dress their Barbi doll.

Best to look the same as the sub you normally deal with.

Francisfran

Indy said...

I really enjoyed this discussion of the creative process and of how switching does and does not work for you. It will be interesting to see if Kaelah develops a fondness for the less painful side of the implements, and if that leads to renewed interest in switching for you.