Klingons Do Not Faint!

In the last edition of Kaelah’s Corner I wrote about the experiment and the severe fifty strokes caning I received from Ludwig. Today you get the solution of the little riddle about how the scene really unfolded and the proof that it has really happened in form of a picture of the marks it produced on my rear end (well, of course, this is only a proof for those among you who aren’t conspiracy theorists and believe that we just painted the marks… ;-) ).

Thanks a lot for all the guessing about the different scenarios I described and for all the comments on the topic of bravery. It was great to get so much interesting input from some regular commenters and also from so many anonymous writers! Since there were different anonymous comments I’m going to add numbers to my reply in order to distinguish you guys. Just one little remark on the commenting options: You can also choose Name/URL as your identity and then just give yourself a random name (no URL necessary!), if you like. That makes it a bit easier for me to refer to your comments and it also makes it easier for you in case you want to write a follow-up comment later…

Now, to the solution of the riddle: There was one vote for Story A (frants), one vote for Story B (Peter8862) and three votes for Story D (Anonymous No. 2, catherine and Miss !). And, indeed, the majority was right! Obviously, my style of writing gave it away… But, as I said, the other four stories also contained a part of the real events or my mindset, so I would like to tell you a bit about that today.

Story A was the scenario Ludwig and I would have predicted. I have a low blood pressure. In combination with my usual teeth-clenching reactions, this can lead to a low breathing rate and dizziness. So, when Ludwig and I talked about the scene beforehand, we agreed that he would remind me to breathe in case I should forget about it. And he would have stopped the scene if necessary because of me being dizzy and not able to realise that I needed a break or not being able to communicate it. Miss ! ruled out Story A, remarking: “I imagine Ludwig to be the type who would dish out at least a few additional strokes for miscounting.” Well, I had verified all the hypothetical reactions I’ve written for Ludwig by talking the situations through with him. You’re absolutely right that Ludwig would usually dish out some extra strokes for miscounting. But in that very special situation, knowing that I already was way beyond my normal limits, he really wouldn’t have done that! I just hope that I don’t destroy his sadistic reputation by telling you this… ;-)

Story B is about one of the biggest fears I had before and during the scene: Injuring my body in a way that went too far for me. Ludwig and I had talked about that very openly, and after thinking a lot about the pros and cons of doing the scene, I had decided to take the risk. But the fear was still there during the scene and the scene was so mentally and physically challenging that I wouldn’t have been able to tell Ludwig in my usual differentiated manner about my mental state at that point. So, in case the fears really had taken over, the scene might have turned out as described in Story B. Instead, the fears were still there, but they didn’t go out of control. When Ludwig looked at the marks during the break and told me that there wasn’t any blood (there were some bloody spots), I simply told him that I didn’t want to know about it at that point. ;-) I had made my decision beforehand and I knew that we would take care about the marks as soon as the scene was over. We took great care about all the possible health aspects and knowing that reduced my fears. We disinfected the cane and the marks, cooled my rear end with icepacks, bandaged the wounds and put arnica ointment on the marks at least twice a day during the following weeks. As a result, there were nearly no marks left after just two weeks! These marks seem to be a bit longer lasting, though. Today, there are still some spots where the skin is slightly differently coloured. But I hope that these traces will be completely gone in a few months, too.

Story C referred to something experienced spanking models like Niki Flynn had written; that it might be safer for a girl to be tied down during a hard scene, so that she couldn’t be accidentally injured by making some unexpected movement. And in the edgy spanking films some of the models are flinching a lot, so this seems to be a quite common reaction. I didn’t want the restraints because I wanted to show optically that I was taking the caning voluntarily. But I found out during the scene that pressing my feet against the whipping bench helped a lot to deal with the pain. So, I guess, restraints might help in a similar way. However, Ludwig and I prefer to use them as decorative elements during a scene, and believe me, I can imagine a lot of situations where I would find being tied down really hot! ;-)

Story E was ruled out by Anonymous No. 2 who said: “I also don't think Story E fits because your reaction by even the second stroke seems too strong. You've already taken 10 full force strokes in An Early Christmas Present and you handled them pretty well.“ Actually, although I started hyperventilating only after stroke number five, I already was completely panicked after the second stroke! While I don’t have many problems to take some very hard cane strokes after a gradual build-up, a cold caning is something completely different! It always makes me panic, I often start crying and I haven’t found a way to deal properly with a cold, hard spanking, yet. I guess the personal limits and what is easy or difficult to take varies very much from person to person (and from day to day).

Frants remarked that the caning was very fast and didn’t leave me much time to recover between the strokes. I didn’t think about that before, but you’re absolutely right! There was almost no time to adapt to the pain or to regain my composure, once it was lost. And like I wrote in Story E, I had to deal with so many things simultaneously that it was almost too much. First of all, I had to deal with the pain. Then I tried to stay in a certain position, where the bones at my rear end weren’t stuck out too much, in order not to cause any unnecessary injuries. In addition to that I wanted to count correctly and loud and to control my reactions. And I tried to suppress my fears, especially when I started feeling dizzy and my hands, arms and feet got numb. That’s why today I’m convinced more than ever that having an easy safeword is very important when doing such a hard scene. With all these things on my mind I was very glad to know that a simple “Stop!” would have ended the scene any time I needed a break! Concerning the screaming: Maybe that would have been a good way of releasing the pressure? Like in a roller coaster, you know?!

Story D, the real scene… Well, I really hated hyperventilating and I was quite shocked about it, because I had never been in such a situation and didn’t know what to do. I even thought that I needed the deep breathing and didn’t know that I would have had to reduce the oxygen. I felt very awful during the break because I was of the opinion that I had screwed the scene up with my unsexy reactions. Ludwig tried to cheer me up by telling me that he had seen a similar reaction in Wild Party 2. I (being very frustrated) just answered (with an ironical undertone): “I’m sure it was the most erotic scene of the movie, right?!” Ludwig, honest as he always is, replied: “No, but it was interesting.” Somehow this didn’t cheer me up! Any girl who wants to be interesting in an erotic scene??? ;-) However, what Ludwig meant was that it was an unusual reaction and therefore more interesting and erotic than the loud screaming of many girls. But there was a very defiant girl in that movie, whose reactions Ludwig liked even more…

Later, Ludwig asked me indeed two times whether I wanted to continue with the second part. He asked out of care, of course, but being as frustrated as I was at that point, I didn’t see it like that. I felt like a wimp, anyway. Maybe I was also a bit angry because he didn’t forget to add: “I told you that we should’ve done only thirty strokes, didn’t I?!” ;-) Well, at least the second part of the caning really was like I had hoped. And that even though my self-confidence was at a really low level and I was scared like hell when we started again. As I said, I can deal much better with a caning once I’m warmed up. My first reaction after it was all over really came from the bottom of my heart: “Yes, thanks, that part was how I wanted it to be!” I had to hold myself back not to make a fist or some other sign of victory… :-)

So much for the scene, I will tell you more about the experiment as a whole in a few months. But I would like to close today’s post with a little anecdote that can be seen as a kind of aftermath of that hard session.

There was a very interesting discussion about accepting one’s different reactions after my last post, mainly driven by Indy, Miss ! and Zille. In that discussion I wrote about my hope to become more relaxed concerning different reactions during a spanking, now that I’ve proven that I can do a really severe scene without quitting. And I said that I would like to do a lighter, caring scene where I could let myself fall.

That happened a few days ago! I was in the mood for crying, anyway, being sad and stressed, when Ludwig decided to give me a spanking. I had made some smart-ass remark that day, so he started with a few full-force strokes with a very dreaded flogger. I already cried after the very first stroke because I really couldn’t stand the pain that day and I also was in the mood for it. After the very hard flogger-strokes Ludwig went on trying out some switches I had cut earlier. Testing how different switches felt like had been my idea. The strokes weren’t too hard, but given my condition of that day I was again at my limit, although I didn’t cry very much during that part of the scene. Then, finally, we ended the session with an OTK stress relief spanking. I cried even harder than after the flogger during the breaks between the sets of strokes. This time not because of the pain, but just because I wanted to release my sadness. I felt very safe being that close to Ludwig. We were constantly communicating, he caressed me and asked me what I needed. I knew that he could deal with my reactions and that I could just let go.

Once the thought occurred that I wouldn’t be able to take a fifty strokes severe caning that day. Then I thought: But you have already proven that you can take it. Today it is time for something completely different and that’s absolutely okay! So, I can now definitely say that having done that hard scene has at least one important positive outcome! Although I’m still having problems with severe spanking films and still feel threatened by the models whose reactions might attract my boyfriend more than mine, it at least enabled me to enjoy different scenarios and reactions than before. The feeling of having to prove something has faded a bit…