Kaelah's Corner (Aug 2012): Lazarus

(A picture that formed in my mind when thinking about this topic.

It was not so easy to bring this one to life on my own, though.)

Two days ago, a miracle happened. Tim The Tum returned from the dead. Or, to be less mythical and more precise, his goodbye post turned out to be a horrible hoax. Someone had hacked Tim's blogger account and published a message which Tim had written during his stay in hospital when he wasn't sure how much time he would have left. Tim is fine and the treatment at the hospital obviously also bought him more time, even though his cancer can't be cured. You wouldn't believe how extremely happy I was when I read Tim's return post, in which he explained what had happened. And while it is hard to believe that someone could do something so nasty and in bad taste, the whole incident led to a very unusual and in a beautiful way bizarre situation. Tim commented on his own tribute post which I had written for him to tell me how much he liked it. I would never have expected to get his official approval when I published that post.

Of course, the whole strange and somehow disturbing (especially for Tim!) incident also brought up lots of thoughts about kinky identities and the problems that go along with them. False identities and the stealing of identities are phenomenons which aren't uncommon in the "real" world, either. But in the kinky online community where people are protecting themselves by using nicknames, not giving away personal data and instead creating a second identity, this can be even more of a problem. Tim's case is just a very extreme example.

The first question that always occurs with profiles and comments in the kinky community is whether whatever people share about themselves is the truth. Is Ronnie really a 50 + hospitality professional, happily married and happily spanked by a wonderful husband? And are Bogey and Bacall really a couple of switches from the US? I have to admit that I usually don't doubt the information given by other bloggers or by our commenters here on the blog. The reason is that I don't really see any benefit which would accrue from pretending to be someone else. Our blog, for example, is not a dating site, so the lonely divorced guy in his sixties is as interesting to me (and I assume to most of our readers as well) as the young successful 25 year-old sonny boy. The former might even have more interesting things to say because he has more experiences in life.

Still, false identities remain a problem, especially if one plans to meet a fellow spanko. Some sites try to solve that problem by requiring at least some basic personal real-life data from those who want to participate. And in some cases people are even comfortable with giving away their real name and address to selected trustworthy people, for example when buying tickets for a kinky event. Given the fact that accounts and electronic databases have the inherent risk of being hacked, this isn't an option everyone is comfortable with, though, no matter how vague certain data may be. And even then, creating false accounts or giving false information is still possible, if one is accustomed to some technical tricks.

For those who are or want to become active scene members, events and real personal friendships within the scene can solve the identity problem. If someone has been to a public event and trusted members of the community confirm that, one can at least be sure that the basic data (gender, age and the like) known about the person in question is correct. If people post pictures and others confirm that this is them, all the better. If people are personal friends with trusted scene members, chances grow that what they tell about themselves and their background is true. When I was new to the scene, I only contacted Ludwig and asked him to meet me because I knew that he was a respected member of the kinky community and that I would easily be able to check whether the guy meeting me really was the one from the pictures and clips.

Not wanting to give away any personal data also can turn into a problem for kinksters if someone steals something that belongs to them. I had that problem when I detected cases of copyright infringement and wanted to claim the copyright for my pictures. Of course, there are ways to solve that problem, but working with a second identity doesn't make these things easier. And what if someone doesn't steal copyrighted material but one's second identity, as in Tim's case? In his newest post, Tim writes about the credibility problem which he now faces. How can he prove that he is still alive? How can he prove that the post about his demise was a hoax and that his post about being okay isn't? Ludwig and I could at least post a picture of us, holding the newspaper of the day (like victims of kidnapping sometimes do!).

A related question which has been asked by Secret Spanko is: How does anyone ever know when a fellow spanko really passes away all of a sudden? Especially if said person hasn't told anyone about their second identity? Sometimes bloggers or commenters suddenly disappear, and no one knows where they have gone. Ludwig and I both aren't the types who would stop blogging without writing a proper goodbye post. When I asked Ludwig to give me admin rights for the blog, the possibility that something bad might happen to him and my wish to be able to decide what to do with the blog and our stories, pictures and clips in such a case was one of the aspects we talked about. But what if something bad happened to both of us? I have to admit that I don't have an explicit plan for that case, but some of our vanilla friends know about the blog and maybe one of them would be kind enough to inform our readers about what has happened.

Fortunately, extreme situations like Tim's case only occur very rarely, at least as far as I know. I found out that someone is using one of my pictures as an avatar on a Russian spanking site. But this person doesn't in any way pretend to be me and hasn't cropped out the watermark which is on the picture, either. It's just a symbolic picture for the avatar, and so I don't have any problem with that. I hope that I won't ever have to deal with a similar situation as Tim, though. And I cross my fingers that he will find out who did that to him.

How about you? Has the second identity issue ever caused you any trouble? How often have you come across false identities and comments? And have you ever heard of problems with stolen kinky identities? How about those fellow kinksters who suddenly disappear: Do you wonder where they have gone? I am curious to hear about your thoughts and experiences!

Oh, by the way: If you want to have a proof that Ludwig and I are still alive and kinky, you can participate in the vote for my blogiversary spanking clip which ends on Sunday, September 2nd after 11:59 pm German time.