Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Made To Be Submissive

“Don't fall asleep, you've still got some work to do this evening.”, Ludwig announced as we were heading home after a long day in the city. I had just admitted my tiredness by yawning heartily. My mind immediately formed a mental picture of the kind of work Ludwig meant. But like the days before I was rather in the mood for cuddling. And so I decided not to give any answer and to wait and see what was going to happen instead. Maybe Ludwig would become tired as well at the sight of a warm, cosy bed...

Of course he didn't. Sitting on the bed, Ludwig looked at me and asked: “Do you have anything that could be used as a blindfold?” I thought about his question for a moment, finally answered yes and  brought him a suitable item. “But I need to go to the bathroom first.” And so I went off.

Inside the bathroom, the different voices in my head were having a vivid discussion. “I'm not in the right mood for sex, and especially not for any more edgy games.” - “But you have been in a cuddling-only mood for a while now, just give it a try!” - “What if I don't manage to get into the right mood and have to stop the scene? Wouldn't it be fair to tell Ludwig in advance that I'm not in the right mindset?” - “And destroy everything in advance without having tried? After all, Ludwig thought about the blindfold because it caters to YOUR fantasies. Do you really think he will be less disappointed if you say no right from the beginning?”

The last voice won. As the more regular readers of this blog already know I am what Bogey so aptly calls a “bedroom submissive”. Which means that during rather sexual scenes between Ludwig and me, I like to give up control and relax. That's why I love being tied up and blindfolded. But I'm not really submissive in the sense that I only want to please my partner. I rather like scenes in which Ludwig actually does things to me which I enjoy as well, even if the scenario implies that he does things which please only him. Still, I have to be in a certain mindset for that and I wasn't sure whether I would manage to get there that evening. But I was determined to give it a try.

So, I went back to the bedroom again and waited for Ludwig's next announcement. “Do you have a hair tie? Go and fetch it.” I did as I was told and started to tie my hair back when I returned to the bed. “No!” Ludwig bent me forward and gave me a few slaps. “I said: Fetch it! And not: Tie your hair back. I want you to strip first. Fold your clothes neatly together and put them aside.”

As most of you know, I love rituals. And I had told Ludwig that I liked the thought of someone neatly folding their clothes before a spanking. Despite of the voices that were still in my head, I followed Ludwig's order and tried to focus on the soothing effect of the ritual and the orderliness which went along with it.

“Now you can tie back your hair and put on the blindfold as well.” I was kneeling on the bed before Ludwig and did as I was told. After having put the blindfold on, different emotions went through my mind. A certain tense, resistance, the urge to cry and an idea of surrender. But I didn't have much time to ponder these feelings because Ludwig spoke up again: “Stretch out your right hand.” A hand spanking? That was not what I had expected. I felt reluctant because I realised that I wasn't in the mood for pain, either. But my brain told my body to obey.

Instead of a smack I felt Ludwig's hand taking mine and carefully guiding me over the bed. “Now lie down on your stomach, hands above your head.” Again I did as I was told. I heard Ludwig unbuckle his belt and a few seconds later he gently touched my body with it, the belt wandering up and down. So it would be a belting. I tried to prepare myself for Ludwig's heavy belt, hoping that the strokes wouldn't be too unbearable.

But then the belt was gone. Ludwig had put it aside. He sat down on the bed and started to caress and tickle me. I was baffled. That was not what I had expected. I love tickling! On our first play weekend I already showed Ludwig how much I enjoy my arms being tickled. I already loved that as a child when cuddling with my parents. Tickling has an instantly soothing effect on me.

“But don't fall asleep!”, Ludwig reminded me, “Focus on my touch.” I did. Bit by bit my body relaxed and so did my mind. The voices fell silent, except for the one that uttered amazement about how well my partner knew me and how much he cared about me. Soon I was in a completely submissive mindset, willing to be dominated and in the mood for making love.

I wasn't even sure whether there was a hand-spanking after the tickling when I wrote this post or whether I was mixing up two different scenes. I was so much into Ludwig's hands at the time that it is all a bit of a blur. But Ludwig confirmed to me afterwards that there was a hand-spanking, and so now I'm sure that it was the one which I had in mind and which I really enjoyed. And while Ludwig lived out his dominant fantasies with me later on, he made sure that I got my share of joy as well.

Some bottoms like to be forced or spanked into submission. This will hardly ever work for me. Being tickled and caressed into submission on the other hand definitely does!


Our Bottoms Burn said...

It's easy to get caught up in life and to miss enjoying what we really like. Here your trust in him helped your mind let go of real life so you could enjoy the simple pleasures.

Kaelah said...

@ Our Bottoms Burn:
It's definitely great to take a time-out from all those real-life responsibilities every once in a while! Giving up control is something which doesn't always work for me, but it is wonderful when it does. Sometimes I'm just in the mood for cuddling, though, which I think is fine as well.

Krystan said...

Very nice to read ;) i am excited


Kaelah said...

@ Krystan:
I'm glad you liked this post! It's great to have a new German commenter. Herzlich willkommen! :-)