To start off the sunny cheerful month of May on this blog (at least it's sunny and cheerful where I live), here is an anecdote I recently heard from a friend from the local German BDSM scene. It's one of those stories that are hard to believe, but I consider it believable because the source is reliable and not known for making things up.
The source is a young woman who is into CP (as a bottom) and into more sexual forms of kinky play as well, and she likes to mix the two. She is also single at the moment and plays with many different people. (Before anyone asks, I never played with her myself. Kaelah and I only play with others during movie-making.) So, she was doing a classical "master, slave" scenario with a top she had met. They had played one or two times before and this was the first time when explicitly sexual activities were on the menu in addition to the CP. My friend wanted to take that step out of curiosity, even though by her own account, she already knew that no deeper relationship would develop with this particular top. He was basically a nice guy, but a little too self-important and too serious about the whole "master, slave" thing for her taste. One of the "I am Lord Sir Master Domly McDomlyson!" types. Still, why not do some sexual play with him. My friend felt attracted and excited enough for that.
They start the scenario, he whips her for a while and then he decides that he wants her to kneel down and give him a blowjob. No surprises so far, given how popular blowjobs are with the male population in general and toppy guys in particular. My friend does her best, which I am told is very good indeed, because she really enjoys the practice of fellatio. The only problem was, she seemed to be enjoying it a tad too much in the view of this particular master. Hey, this was supposed to be uncomfortable for the slave! A punishment, not a pleasure ride! He tried to think of something that would make things more uncomfortable for her.
So, here comes the good part. The guy goes to the kitchen (they were playing at his place) and, believe it or not, he puts chili on his penis. (It occurs to me that I never asked my friend whether it was chili sauce or chili powder. I was too busy laughing. In any case, it apparently was some really hot stuff, where you only need a tiny bit on your food and you already have a very spicy dish.) His thinking was that the hot chili would make the blowjob a more painful experience for her. He seemed oblivious to the fact that it would affect his penis in just the same way...
Needless to say, the play session came to a rather abrupt end. My friend, kneeling on the floor and patiently waiting for her man to return, just heard a scream of anguish from the kitchen, followed by wild curses. Alarmed, she ran over and discovered The Master in a rather undignified pose, frantically trying to wash the chili off his dick. She helped him (no, not with her mouth!) and it took a while for things to settle down again. I think they even tried pouring milk over the dick because it is supposed to neutralise the spice more effectively than water.
My friend was very polite about it all, which is to say, she only burst out laughing after she had left. Still, the guy has not called her since and has not expressed interest in any new play sessions. He is just too embarrassed. Well, it serves him right. I mean, good lord, how stupid can you be? I have a hard time feeling compassion when people inflict misfortune on themselves in such a staggeringly idiotic way. On the contrary, I admit to feeling a good amount of schadenfreude, all the more so because it hit one of those self-inflated "Lord Sir Master Domly McDomlyson" types. Har har!