Where No Man Has Spanked Before

Cyberspace... The final frontier. Endless. Waiting. This is the story of a most fortunate encounter. A story of two companions brought together by fate. Their mission: to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new experiences. To boldly go where no man has gone before.

Ladies and gentlemen, K-Day is here! This is an auspicious day in the history of this blog. You are reading what is probably the most important, most illuminating message I have ever broadcast across the universe. Riddles will be solved, faces revealed, new and future journeys outlined! And not a moment too soon. Seriously, I think it's high time for me to shed some light on the mystery of kay, after all the scattered hints and allusions which I've dropped over the last couple of months, culminating in the K-Day is coming! post.

(Oh, and if you're looking for the winner of that competition: it's Arjuna with the big crystal ball, of course. My congratulations! Please send me an email so I can give you your prize.)

In a previous hint, I had said that the "great and exciting news" I was about to share with you soon is even better than the Lupus Pictures shoot. Which is quite a statement to make. What, I hear you asking, could possibly be better than dancing with werewolves? The answer: drinking tea with Klingons.

How I came to be involved in such alien pursuits is a rather long story, so before I cause even more mystification, I'm going to take you all the way back to the beginning now...

It all started on another auspicious day in the history of my blog, the Global Day of Delurk in November last year. I participated, for the first time, in this annual event organised by Bonnie of My Bottom Smarts (so, in a way, she's one of the people I have to thank for all the mayhem that would soon turn my life upside down - thanks, Bonnie!). The day went well for me - I got a fair number of comments, slightly exceeding my expectations, and while most of them came from other bloggers, a few were genuine "delurks". I was especially happy about those. Getting previously silent readers to step out of the shadows, that is what the whole thing was all about, obviously!

I remember being intrigued by a comment from someone by the name of K'Ehleyr: "Your invitation has just motivated me to write my first-ever comment on someone's blog. I'm about your age and live in the Rhine Main Area. I've just recently started to explore the internet concerning the topic spanking and have been lurking for some weeks." That was a cool thing to get - the first comment not just on my blog, but anywhere. And from a German reader, close to home. What a weird name, though, "K'Ehleyr"! I mused about the pronunciation. Kayelair? Kay-eh-LAIR, or maybe kay-EH-lair? No idea.

When you only know someone over the phone or through email, your mind still conjures up these vague, blurry, dream-like images. It's the same with bloggers and blog readers. With most people who leave a comment, you have no idea what they look like, or even whether they're male or female. "K'Ehleyr" sounded gender-neutral to me, but I decided it was probably a guy. The name seemed to have a Muslim ring to it. I pictured a dark-haired young man, probably of Turkish-German descent, reading my blog. It was a reader demographic I had never encountered before, so I was pleased with that.

About a week after Delurk Day, I got an email from K'Ehleyr the Kinky Turk, titled: "Personal hello and expert questions". Turns out that she is really a German woman. The mail was quite long, highly articulate, and very interesting - I get many mails, but few as interesting as this. Besides a nice personal introduction and, once again, saying thanks for the blog, it contained some general questions about spanking, the scene and such. While I read it, my mental image of the sender changed to a young brunette woman, medium build, well-groomed, probably wearing glasses. I don't know where the glasses came from - I suppose we just tend to visualise smart people that way, and K'Ehleyr was definitely smart.

I spent an hour answering the letter with the diligence it deserved, then finally googled the nickname. Of course, "K'Ehleyr" isn't of Muslim origin at all. The name is taken from a minor female character who appears in two episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, a half-Klingon, half-human ambassador to the Federation. I'm pretty well-versed in science fiction geekery, but I was never much of a Star Trek fan and had never seen more than a handful of old episodes from the 1960's. So I didn't know that character, but I was happy to discover that, on a general level, this girl calling herself K'Ehleyr was apparently a kindred geeky spirit.

As she wrote in her Global Day of Delurk comment, she was only making her first, tentative forays into the world of spanking. Like most of us kinksters, K'Ehleyr had had the fantasies since childhood. Somewhere, they had always been around, but in the background, as pure daydreams. There wasn't really a desire, much less a practical opportunity to do it for real - the question simply never arose. Then, last summer, something changed. Suddenly, K'Ehleyr said, she felt an impulse, a slowly mounting curiosity to actually explore this long-held fascination. One day, she just googled the term "spanking", in English. The erotic stories from the St. Francis School for Girls site were one early and intriguing find, then the free video clips of Spankingtube. Among the latter, she also encountered a little opus of mine, and through it my blog. Delurk Day and the email were the first time she "outed" herself to other spankos.

So, that was the situation. K'Ehleyr had no practical experience, she had never been spanked in her life (neither at home nor in adult play), and even exploring the subject on the internet was a very new thing. But she had the freshly awoken curiosity and the determination to follow it. Also some freshly awoken anxieties, of course - where is all this going to take me? Is it really a good idea? And can I, should I try this stuff for real someday?

Of course, these questions weren't in the first mail K'Ehleyr wrote to me - she asked about other, more general things. Reading her story, though, I could tell that she was probably asking herself all this, in the back of her mind. It seems that I struck a nerve when I politely breached the subject at the end of my reply: "So, where do you think your exploration will lead you?" I promptly got another email, even longer this time, and everything was there in perfect delineation - thought processes, inner questions, tentative possibilities, pros and contras.

First off, I reassured her that, in my experience at least, the middle to late twenties were a pretty common age for all this - where the kink really "wakes up" and many of us start exploring it in earnest for the first time. So that was perfectly normal, as were her worries. But obviously, there is no single "right" way about this. No one among us, no matter how experienced, can claim to have a blueprint. So, instead of throwing out loads of "I think you should do this", "I think you should do that" suggestions, I just began to tell K'Ehleyr about myself - my own first steps, my own first experiences, years ago. Not as an example that had to be followed, but simply as a story: well, this is how it went for me.

Above all, I wanted to convey: see, I once had the same doubtful questions, the same anxieties myself. Or very similar ones at least. But it is possible to overcome them, to take the plunge - and it can lead you to a very, very beautiful new world. At the same time, my only practical suggestion to K'Ehleyr was to just take it slow. Continue to read some blogs, exchange some mails, maybe meet some people - and decide your own path in your own time.

What made everything a little more daunting, K'Ehleyr told me right away, was the fact that she didn't have any erotic "vanilla" experiences, either. That was fine with her - she simply hadn't found the right man yet, and one day, she would. But in the meantime, it didn't exactly make the exploration of her spanko-ness any easier! All the more so because she was basically a somewhat shy person, and a perfectionist, and someone with very high expectations both in herself and in others. Mostly in herself - one idea which K'Ehleyr found really, really difficult was going to a gathering of kinky people, and being the inexperienced "new girl", and not being on the same level.

Or what if she tried out spanking for real, and it didn't work? She was a bottom, she knew that much from her fantasies. If she tried it, and if it turned out that she can't stand the pain, or if she had to back out for some other reason, she would totally disappoint the top! That was another horror scenario.

There were so many things there that resonated with me, because they reminded me of myself. I had also been a late bloomer sexually, and even to this day, I had only had one or two proper, intimate relationships. For much the same reasons K'Ehleyr cited: I was usually very busy (and very happy!) on my own, I was somewhat shy around new people, unused to new contacts. At the same time, I was a bloody perfectionist who wanted to get everything right and didn't want to settle for half-measures. That combination had also initially made it difficult for me to explore my kinky side, and when I did, it certainly cost me an effort. An effort that was worth it, though. Also, while I am a top (and always knew that I'm a top), I had chosen to make my first spanking experiences as a bottom. So that wasn't really different from K'Ehleyr, either.

Again, I just told my own story, and kept reassuring K'Ehleyr in general. I said that she shouldn't worry, that everyone loves the "new girl". That most of us spankos (except for the handful of idiots you find in every scene) would be very helpful and understanding towards her, because we had all been in the same situation ourselves. That she certainly wouldn't disappoint anyone - actually, by taking the first step out of the closet and simply talking about her fantasies, she had already shown a lot of courage. Many would-be-kinksters never got that far. Now she should just wait and see where it lead her.

I sensed that, more than anything, K'Ehleyr was just glad to have found someone to talk to. I certainly enjoyed it, too - by now, we were mailing each other regularly, and it was always interesting. We were writing about all sorts of things: music, movies, religion, science fiction, martial arts, British comedians... We found that we shared many likes and interests, that we had a similar outlook on things in general and a similar sense of humour. At the same time, we had enough differences to be intrigued by each other. I really loved the correspondence for its own sake. And if K'Ehleyr found the things I had to say re: spanking helpful on her journey, all the better.

The more I got to know K'Ehleyr, the more I liked her. She was nice, thoughtful, witty... Cautious, but not timid. A bit nervous at times, but not letting it show much. Fundamentally, she had an openness and a quiet confidence about her that impressed me deeply - this natural clarity of purpose, how she had waited for the right time in her life, how she trusted her inner voices, how she was now following this newfound impulse with just the right mix of restraint and determination. She really was very courageous and very remarkable, and she didn't even realise it.

K'Ehleyr also became a fairly frequent commenter on the blog. In one comment, chatting about the fictional Klingon language with other readers, she actually wrote the sentence: "My heart is Klingon." I just thought, wow! That is probably the geekiest, silliest, coolest comment ever on my blog. My heart is Klingon! Unbelievable. And in a way, it even made perfect, serious sense. There really are those two sides to K'Ehleyr - the good-natured geek girl who names herself after a half-alien character in a TV series, and the martial arts adept who practises in the local park with her Tai Chi sword and seemingly pursues everything she does in life with total commitment. You might as well call them the "human" and the "Klingon" sides.

Around Christmas time, the brave warrior side sent me a couple of photographs with the latest email (nope, you filthy-minded perverts - they were just normal, everyday photos). K'Ehleyr wrote that, after seeing me in all those videos, she only found it fair that I should have a face to associate with her name as well. Months later, of course, she admitted that it was basically a "test balloon" to see if I would run off in horror. Of course I didn't, even though my preconceived mental image was shattered yet again - this time, the brunette girl, medium build, with glasses, was finally replaced by the real K'Ehleyr. Blonde, petite, no glasses... And rather attractive overall!

So far, I hadn't really seen myself as anything but a penpal and occasional helpful counsel. But the photos made me raise an eyebrow, and I wasn't really surprised by the next mail that followed a week later. In it, K'Ehleyr outlined all her latest thought processes. First off, as she also wrote in another blog comment, her new year resolutions for 2009 included getting her first spanking - by now, she was sure that she wanted to try it for real. She also had a fairly good idea of the kind of top and personal relationship she wanted, and presented it like this:

(1) Main equation: looking for an unknown top x, to practically introduce me to the world of spanking
(2) Requirements:
(2a) It should be a man => reduces the solution space by roughly 50 percent
(2b) I need the time and the opportunity to first get to know this person (as a whole) => no contact ads; instead, mail or chat as first means of contact
(2c) The whole thing should be personal and take place in a personal setting => no BDSM studios (even though I have no doubt that some are very good)
(2d) Top should be experienced and trustworthy => references?
(2e) A previous getting-to-know-each-other meeting (or several meetings, depending on how it goes?) should leave us both with the feeling that the chemistry is right => top should be prepared to invest the time to meet me and get to know me

K'Ehleyr went on saying that the German-language Spanking Liebe forum and the groups from SM-Finder, links I had once sent to her, were both potential routes to explore. However, there was another possible x in the solution space, and it was the one she had the best feeling about at this time. That x was... how to put it... and I probably knew where this was going, anyway... well, that x was me. Now, she didn't know what I thought of the idea. Maybe it was all a bit too much, too fast. Maybe I wouldn't be interested at all. But she just wanted to write down her thoughts, her feelings, and find out what I think. If I agreed, she would love to meet me and get to know me in person.

Of course I was interested! How could I say no to a such a sweet, half-human, half-Klingon offer? We met for the first time in early January, in her corner of Germany, and I came away from the afternoon with two new insights: one, the nickname was pronounced "kay-lahr" (we called each other by our real names by this point, but it was still interesting to know). Two, the chemistry seemed to be right, we both had a good feeling about this. Which wasn't really a surprise after all the mails, the previous impressions, but a welcome confirmation. The feeling became near-perfect certainty when we met again, this time, for two days in Munich. I showed K'Ehleyr the old Bavarian "village of millions", which she hadn't really been to before, and we had many long, deep, personal conversations along with the tourist stuff.

The third time we met, we played for the first time, and K'Ehleyr lost her spanko virginity to the Klingon arms master with the painstik. I will write about that day in a post of its own, which it richly deserves. Suffice to say for now that it was an awesome session - inventive, unusual, full of atmosphere, and very sexy despite the rampant geekery (or maybe because of it?). I wouldn't hesitate to call it the best play session of my life so far. If you've read about the Rite of Span'qIng, you already know what we did, anyway. It was all based on K'Ehleyr's ideas (with minor input from me), and needless to say, that "Klingon Encyclopedia" entry is her work as well (ditto). Oh, and she was very brave during the actual ritual. I wasn't disappointed in the least (pictures of gorgeous cane stripes will adorn the forthcoming narrative post).

We weren't quite a couple after that day, but a few weeks and other firsts later, we were. Now K'Ehleyr and I are girlfriend and boyfriend, lovers, companions... Whatever term you want to call it ("Klingon mates" is a good one, too). So, now that you know why my formerly sacrosanct posting routines aren't quite what they used to be, I hope you can forgive me. I simply have more important matters than blogging schedules on my mind these days. Isn't it wonderful how I met K'Ehleyr through the blog, though? Thinking back now, I still find that hard to believe. If you were to write a movie script like that, it would be deemed kitschy and unrealistic.

I also can't believe how perfect she and I are for each other, both in kinky play and everything else. Oh, rest assured - we both have our flaws and our annoying sides! I certainly have my grand share, and K'Ehleyr too. We're wise enough and already together long enough to notice those. But again, we just deal with them in such a natural, effortless way, it is almost frightening. They simply don't bother us in light of the radiant love we have for each other, a love that only keeps growing stronger and deeper. I'm fairly good with words, but they fail me when I try to describe it.

The closest I can get is by saying: I just like the person I am with K'Ehleyr. I've never liked myself better, or felt better with anyone. And that is how she feels about me, too. It's the feeling you get when you know that you've found something, and someone, truly special.

But even though we firmly belong to each other now, we are not going to keep everything entirely to ourselves. Of course, you will still hear from me on this blog - actually, everything will stay exactly the same around here, except for two things. A somewhat more irregular posting routine, and the fact that you'll be seeing a lot more from Kay from now on. Like the "pet play" and "witchcraft" pictures here, a fun little experiment and only the beginning. You will also hear from her - in a monthly column of her own.

Now, one last and rather important point before I finish my love hymn for today: we have decided to change the spelling of Kay's (full) name somewhat, to "Kaelah". The same pronunciation, basically, but the spelling is a little bit catchier and a little less cumbersome. Moreover, it will keep the idiotic movie studio lawyers of this world from suing us someday. So, her heart is still Klingon, but her name is Kaelah now. You'll get used to it - we already had to!

My dear readers, it's been a pleasure to introduce to you: Kaelah, my lovely mate. Say hi to her, and look forward to much more from her in the future.