Friday, August 15, 2008

Mystery Mail

I recently made a backup of my emails. It's a safety measure I take semi-regularly, every couple of months or so, just in case the harddrive crashes or something. Except for spam, I archive every single mail I get (or send). Even when someone sends me the same mail twice ("Hey, I'm not sure if you got this..."), I keep both of them. You gotta have standards. Regular correspondents get their own folder, the rest goes into "Others". When I write to several recipients, I archive a copy of the outgoing mail in each of their folders. Ah, I love my German order...

Anyway, here is something I rediscovered in "Others". I received this one about half a year ago and he didn't write again (I assume it's a guy). I never replied - not out of laziness or spite, I assure you, simply because I had no idea what to respond. I wasn't even sure if he expected an answer. But it was undeniably an interesting mail, in a puzzling and amusing sort of way. Maybe you can make sense of it. The subject line read "Spanking and more":

Hello.

Very nice blog you have and I hope you continue to write and produce it. I live in the USA, and have an Aunt living in Munich (very attractive lady) and one I have fantasized about - she is very pretty and quite hot, and if she knew of my kinky thoughts, she might want to whip me with the strap.

She is a very kinky lady - busy with being very naked for her man when she is required to - and parading around with oiled skin and no clothes is indeed a hot scene to watch. Spanking your own aunt over your knee with a paddle is a very hot thing...

And there it ends (no signature). What do I make of this anonymous mystery mail? First off, I am glad that he enjoys my blog. Thank you. I also like the style, especially the augmentation form "very naked" (as opposed to "a little naked", I guess) and the trailing off "..." finish. This is not some moronic illiterate troll, it is madness with a method. I appreciate that, even though I'm not sure what the method is...

But I can't for the life of me figure out the purpose of the mail. Is it an edifying story to entertain me? An invitation to spank his aunt, who supposedly lives in the same city as I do? Is it a riddle, should I try to guess how much of it is fantasy and what, if anything, is real? Can the author even tell the difference himself? And what is the "more" referred to in the subject line?

See, I've studied philosophy for years, but there are many mysteries that still elude me.

2 comments:

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

My take on it is that paragraph one is him making a connection to you. And paragraph two is pure fantasy. What happened next is apparently unprintable. And he sent it to you because he knew you'd be able to use it on some slow-news day in the future.

Niki Flynn said...

I got an email once that said simply "ur hot". I didn't realise until I opened the email that it was from Adele. We'd just been discussing the lamest messages we'd ever received. LOL