tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post3396330914246508553..comments2023-10-18T09:35:55.767+02:00Comments on LUDWIG'S ROHRSTOCK-PALAST: Egoist?!Ludwighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14975294529532823252noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-40244095903706757892010-10-29T20:15:16.607+02:002010-10-29T20:15:16.607+02:00@ Peter:
Yes, I think this point of view is really...@ Peter:<br />Yes, I think this point of view is really a part of the Christian ethics. I would even say that it is not only a part of the Christian ethics but of many more ethical systems.Kaelahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17108718924415630397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-59998433950935885402010-10-25T01:28:51.236+02:002010-10-25T01:28:51.236+02:00Kaelah - You are so right in your last paragraph...Kaelah - You are so right in your last paragraph particularly when you say that moral rectitude depends on how we use what we're given, which probably brings us into the realm of Christian ethics.Peter8862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-123031243662890382010-10-24T18:26:38.712+02:002010-10-24T18:26:38.712+02:00@ Peter:
It could be true, I also heard about the...@ Peter:<br /><br />It could be true, I also heard about the theory that our ancestors' experiences affect us more than most scientists thought some years ago.<br /><br />With early childhood experiences I didn't mean spankings, though. To my mind the experience of real spankings makes it rather unlikely that someone develops a sexual fondness for spanking. I rather thought about events where pain might be mixed with positive elements or something like that (like for example first experiences with walking, when children stumble and fall a lot but also get to the places they want to explore). But I have to admit that I'm not sure how that might exactly work and why it should affect some people and shouldn't affect others...<br /><br />Like I said before, I just take my fondness for spanking as a given fact, which is neither good or bad. Whether it becomes something good or bad to my mind depends on whether I use it in a way that makes me and others happy or not.Kaelahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17108718924415630397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-85201251474202668602010-10-24T01:55:08.913+02:002010-10-24T01:55:08.913+02:00Kaelah - I think it is probable that a love of t...Kaelah - I think it is probable that a love of the cane is something handed down through the genes, and if experiences are responsible, then they may well be experiences that happened to our ancestors. In other words, there is no necessity for direct experience as a child. I was never smacked or caned except on one occasion by my headmaster. He gave me one grossly undeserved stroke of the school cane on the bottom, albeit at the rather critical age of thirteen.Peter8862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-17097920569949224812010-10-17T10:07:09.348+02:002010-10-17T10:07:09.348+02:00@ Peter:
You raised a very good point here! While...@ Peter:<br /><br />You raised a very good point here! While I might be able to explain from my experiences and personality how certain of my fantasies work for me and why, plus why other scenarios don't hold any appeal for me and where certain red buttons come from, I have no real idea why I am kinky at all! I can tell you that I like the cane because it has that elegant looks and produces orderly marks (if applied by a skilled top), but I have no idea why being caned or wielding a cane holds any appeal for me in the first place. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it has to do with very early childhood experiences. I just take it as a given condition and I think that knowing where it exactly comes from wouldn't be of much practical use, anyway.<br /><br />But knowing more about what is a turn-on and a turn-off for me helps me to find interesting scenarios and to explain my desires and limits to Ludwig. That's why analysing these things is so fascinating for me: It helps me to understand myself better and enables me to exchange ideas with Ludwig, not only about kinky experiences but also about other desires and personality traits I have. Therefore it finally leads to an even more fulfilling partnership and sex life which I think is a great outcome for a rather small effort (especially since I enjoy the process of analysing and writing my thoughts down, too)! :-)Kaelahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17108718924415630397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-38897419971053719092010-10-16T23:58:41.726+02:002010-10-16T23:58:41.726+02:00Kaelah - Thank you for a carefully reasoned repl...Kaelah - Thank you for a carefully reasoned reply and indeed I agree entirely with your conclusions. <br />Whether fetishes are always the product of experience I am less sure. My love of women in long ball gowns probably stems from hospitality balls at Delmonicas, Fifth Avenue, New York in 1943/4, but there is no precedent for my love of the cane, both ways. So I look forward to your views on switching.Peternoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-14729502042331419582010-10-16T18:14:00.625+02:002010-10-16T18:14:00.625+02:00@ Graham:
Thanks a lot for that link! And I agree...@ Graham:<br /><br />Thanks a lot for that link! And I agree with you, to my mind being a bit selfish in sexual things is good. Desire is selfish by definition, isn't it? And I think one can't enjoy sex when only being focussed on one's partner's needs. Of course only trying to get the most out of it for oneself without taking one's partner's needs into consideration at all and without respecting his or her limits isn't the right way, either. I think the author of the post you linked to put it into just the right words: "[...] to be a good lover, you must have a healthy mix of selfishness and the desire to please your partner. Being enthusiastic about receiving pleasure during sex is key, as is the effort to give your partner what they need."<br /><br /><br />@ Simon:<br /><br />Aah, I understand. So, you are mainly a top and just switch from time to time! The next edition of Kaelah's Corner is going to be about switching, I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts about that topic then!<br /><br /><br />@ Perfectdt:<br /><br />Good to see you're well again! :-) A "Topping from the bottom day" would be a great invention. I agree with you that talking about one's desires, wishes and limits is very important because most tops don't have clairvoyant abilities. And that's what I usually mean when I use the term "topping from the bottom". It doesn't mean that I'm constantly trying to control the top during a scene. It just means that I try to explain my fantasies and limits as well as possible beforehand and also afterwards, in case I have found out something that was new to me during a scene.<br /><br /><br />@ Peter:<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I don't deny that there are some very simple physical phenomena involved in our spanking play. I also mentioned them when I explained why I like certain positions which help me to focus on the sensual pleasures.<br /><br />But I am convinced that the psychological part is even more important than the physical part. The same physical kind of spanking (same implement, severity, pain) can make me feel great in a scenario that fits my fantasies and completely awful in another scenario that contains any turn-offs. I also know certain sexual practices which don't really turn me on with their physical sensation but become very arousing when they are included in a fitting scenario. And last but not least, spanking fantasies already turned me on before I even knew how a real spanking feels like. If it were all about physical reactions that wouldn't make much sense.<br /><br />What I was focussing on in this trilogy are the different fantasies people have and an analysis why my fantasies are as they are. And I am convinced that kinky fantasies and preferences are influenced by experiences people have made and by their personality. For example, your fascination with ball gowns: Wouldn't you say that this special fetish has to do with fond memories from the past?!<br /><br />Concerning my statement that "I can't enjoy having been spanked if I didn't enjoy the spanking itself": That statement reflects what I have experienced so far. Every time I felt uncomfortable during a spanking, either because it was very severe and I had the feeling that it was too much for me or because the scenario made me feel humiliated, I felt bad after the spanking as well. The experience of survival didn't make me feel much better at all, in contrast to what Niki wrote about her play and her experiences.<br /><br />I checked the exact total number of words and it's just a bit more than 9.000. But I think that is enough, anyway! :-)Kaelahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17108718924415630397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-92047806324819091382010-10-16T00:06:38.786+02:002010-10-16T00:06:38.786+02:00Kaelah - After all this deep and laborious intr...Kaelah - After all this deep and laborious introspection, do you ever have thoughts that you might be rationalising some relatively simple physiological reactions, like the stimulation of endophines by caning the erogenous buttocks, leading to a psychological "high" ? Too often it seems that intellectual theories can be explained by natural physical phenomena and this can lead to some humbling conclusions about man's place in the natural order.<br /><br />Incidentally, what are your grounds for saying that you couldn't enjoy the aftermath of caning if you hadn't enjoyed being caned ? Niki Flynn always said that she didn't enjoy being caned but she loved the after effects.<br /><br />But sincere congratulations on those 10,000 words !Peter8862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-72721772977421543592010-10-15T19:44:18.626+02:002010-10-15T19:44:18.626+02:00It may not be too bad to be a little footstompingl...It may not be too bad to be a little footstompingly "I Want" or to Top from the bottom sometimes. There are times that I look back at some play times and think that I may have been a little over demanding in what I expected from the Top concerned, in relation to knowing what I needed out of the scene. After all Tops and Dom(mes) have not been issued with crystal balls or mind reading equipment. Sometimes I feel guilty about how much responsibility and stress is on a Top whilst playing. Perhaps there should be an international Topping from the bottom day, it could be a learning experience for many Tops and Dom(mes) and would let them off the hook just for one day in the year.<br /><br />PrefectdtSPANKEDHORTIChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01555647356077533450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-13460380865650538952010-10-15T10:20:30.133+02:002010-10-15T10:20:30.133+02:00i like to be a top mostly with my helpless girlfri...i like to be a top mostly with my helpless girlfriend across my knee giving her a good spanking and pushing her knickers up her bum.love simon.simonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-51480154306244810562010-10-14T21:13:00.707+02:002010-10-14T21:13:00.707+02:00Um, all I want is to be challenged and empowered, ...Um, all I want is to be challenged and empowered, relieved from stress and/or sexually satisfied. <br /><br />What could be a more valid reason for consenting to be whacked at with canes?<br /><br />I'm drawn to kink for exactly the same reasons you are, and it's not selfish. Well, all right, it's selfish — but that's what desire is all about! And there is even evidence that selfish lovers are better in bed: http://www.limelife.com/blog-entry/Selfish-Lovers-are-Better-in-Bed-says-Study/50258.html<br /><br />So long live kinky egoists!Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14627332220419275106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-20649438903035879282010-10-14T18:22:24.336+02:002010-10-14T18:22:24.336+02:00@ Simon & Ursus:
Thanks a lot for commenting, ...@ Simon & Ursus:<br />Thanks a lot for commenting, it's nice to see that at least two people made it through all the three posts (nearly 10.000 words in total)!<br /><br />@ Simon:<br />Yes, love spankings and sexual pleasure are very important parts of my kink in my love relationship, too. So, you switched in your relationship with your former girlfriend? Are you a switch with equally strong preferences for both sides or are you rather a top or a bottom who just switches from time to time?<br /><br />@ Ursus:<br />I'm glad that the posts provided you with some thought fodder. I hope you'll find the answers you are searching for! I think learning more about oneself and one's kink is a permanent process, anyway. In case you gain some interesting new insights, I'm of course always curious to read about them (that provides me with some new thought fodder, too)!Kaelahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17108718924415630397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-20335556222989585612010-10-12T14:13:39.307+02:002010-10-12T14:13:39.307+02:00Wow, Kaelah. These three posts are very interestin...Wow, Kaelah. These three posts are very interesting to read. One can see you put a lot of effort in it. <br /><br />There is so much I don't know about my kink and why I like things I like, but I think your entries might help me to find answers.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing all these intimate things with us strangers.Ursus Lewishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14689558099398609440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-5401251684572015602010-10-12T11:43:18.480+02:002010-10-12T11:43:18.480+02:00thats what its all about sexual pleasure when i am...thats what its all about sexual pleasure when i am spanking my girlfriend or she is spanking me.a few years ago i had a girlfriend that got so turned on when i spanked her it would bring her to orgasm.love simon.simonnoreply@blogger.com