tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post3171159366916157928..comments2023-10-18T09:35:55.767+02:00Comments on LUDWIG'S ROHRSTOCK-PALAST: Trust - The Bottom PerspectiveLudwighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14975294529532823252noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-60692311956300718652011-02-18T13:24:33.951+01:002011-02-18T13:24:33.951+01:00@ Annapurna:
As I already wrote, becoming a helpl...@ Annapurna:<br /><br />As I already wrote, becoming a helpless child and letting go is not what I usually seek as a bottom. That's why I can only look at this subject from an outside point of view. But I think you captured the essence of that kind of play very well in your comment. What I usually seek is either empowerment in combination with a feeling of safety, stress relief, a bonding experience with my mate Ludwig and/or sexual pleasure and thrill. And there are the photo- and film-making experiences which are about bringing stories to life and creating art.<br /><br />I can absolutely relate to your spouse's fear of spanking you, given the dangerous situation which the two of you experienced. I cross my fingers for you to find a good way of bringing your fantasies to life without risking any physical damages. To my mind safety, taking care of one's health and respecting one's physical limits are utterly important tasks for every spanking play!Kaelahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17108718924415630397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-40973951219718521222011-02-16T05:29:17.261+01:002011-02-16T05:29:17.261+01:00From Annapurna
Kaelah,
Like a moth to a flame, I...From Annapurna<br /><br />Kaelah,<br /><br />Like a moth to a flame, I’m writing yet again, but I feel this time my comments are either too late for your topic or are too much like the views of an outsider looking in. I hope the latter is not true.<br /><br />Is there a broken-empowerment continuum to spanking from a bottom’s perspective and if so, what obligation does the top have toward the bottom in achieving either aim? <br /><br />Many of us seek the removal of the barriers that prevent us from experiencing deep-seated feelings while also witnessing a complete loss of control that is believed to result from a severe spanking at the hands of a caring top. While this experience does occur, I believe it to be rare and can only happen when a strong bond of trust exists between top and bottom. <br /><br />In order to let go, we must first feel comfortable and secure in the knowledge that we will not be judged when the tears begin to flow and that we will be held so our sense of self will not disintegrate when we feel unbearable anguish. This observation, I think, has already been made, and I certainly endorse it. <br /><br />The regression part of this picture, however, is another matter, and may be difficult to achieve during a spanking because of two possible confounding factors: 1) the spanking itself may trigger a natural flight or fight response, thereby making it nearly impossible for us to relax into a catharsis or become a helpless child; or 2) there is insufficient repressed emotional material waiting to be released in an uncontrolled abreaction that is induced by the sensation of pain. We can, therefore, suffer many long and hard beatings while never sheading a single tear, a condition that’s not too uncommon for adults but is all too common for children. <br /><br />The obligation of the top in this process is to attempt to satisfy the desires of the bottom in achieving a catharsis; but the top also needs to know when to bail on the whole proceedings to avoid undue damage to the bottom’s flesh and soul. Engaging in spanking interruptus by the top, however, may elicit anger and frustration in the bottom. But an astute top can redirect the bottom’s raw feelings in this regard toward inner process using touch and words, which may have the effect of igniting a catharsis through comfort, kindness, and carefully focused introspection.<br /><br />The empowerment side of the continuum is new to me so whatever observations I might have may be of little value. <br /><br />I can’t say I feel much empowerment when the first resounding smack rings out or when I feel the undeniable sting of the implement on my bare flesh. Eroticism and subspace consciousness are more of what I seek and experience, but then perhaps my individual scenes are not as severe as others? <br /><br />Because I play with only one person and that person is my spouse, trust is never an issue even after my limits were inadvertently exceeded on one occasion, leading to an ER visit for me several hours after a very intense session, a session that caused my coronary arteries to go into spasm and my heart to fibrillate uncontrollably. Since that episode my spouse is reluctant to spank me at all for fear of killing me; whereas, my obsession to spank or be spanked is as strong as ever. Yet, I can’t say that I’m a thrill seeker or someone who is always looking to push limits beyond all endurance. Nor am I one to lust after an experience devoid of all self-control, handing the reigns of my soul to the stewardship of someone else. The minute I lie across my partner’s lap, I have already relinquished control and await the spanking I so deeply crave. Yet, I can say with all honesty I’ve never cried after having been spanked as an adult. That’s not a summit I long to climb.<br /><br />AnnapurnaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-53343653851632426442011-02-14T20:24:56.845+01:002011-02-14T20:24:56.845+01:00@ Hermione:
Thank you very much for commenting! L...@ Hermione:<br /><br />Thank you very much for commenting! Like you we don't do any "real" punishment scenes and I wouldn't like to play out a scene in which I'm totally in the dark about what's going to happen.<br /><br />But I find it interesting to read about how these things work for others, knowing that this is what they seek and that it won't do them any harm because they do it with people they can trust. Emma Jane has already done the scenario she was talking about and has written a very fascinating account about how the scene unfolded which you can find <a href="http://apainfulawakening.blogspot.com/2011/02/if.html" rel="nofollow">here</a>.<br /><br /><br />@ Respecting Mistress:<br /><br />"Let's face it, one person's 100 lashes from a cat of nine-tails is another's six of the best from the school cane." Wonderfully said!<br /><br />Most of Ludwig's and my play is erotic or fun play and isn't about severity, anyway. Ludwig enjoys more severe scenes on film from time to time, but in our private play this only happens on special occasions because he is very careful and doesn't want me to be bruised too often. I have done scenes which were a bit more severe, but only a few ones. On the receiving end Ludwig usually likes to play harder. But, first of all he only switches on very rare occasions and secondly often for video clips which he thinks are worth "going the extra mile".<br /><br /><br />@ Underling:<br /><br />That's the great thing about the kinky blogosphere – there are lots of different tour guides, so no one needs to know the whole city! We can start the tour in your backyard and neighbourhood and then Ludwig and I can take over and guide the tourists through our street and so on... Maybe we should found a new company "Spanking Tours Inc."?! And the advertising slogan could be "Spanking tours – visit our backyards!" or maybe backsides or something like that... ;-)Kaelahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17108718924415630397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-7308365075074378542011-02-13T16:12:59.324+01:002011-02-13T16:12:59.324+01:00Kaelah - 'spanking tour guide', haha! I li...Kaelah - 'spanking tour guide', haha! I like that a lot. What a thoughtful lady you are :). <br /><br />Yeah, you can rely on me to show you the little-known corners of my own back yard. But if we stray beyond that then expect lots of dead ends, retracing of steps and suggestions that someone else should take over!Underlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05796851292291694070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-62214863289296579012011-02-13T14:09:43.003+01:002011-02-13T14:09:43.003+01:00Hi Kaelah,I couldn't agree with you more. And ...Hi Kaelah,I couldn't agree with you more. And Underling, you are no spanking tourist. <br /><br />But I can relate to your feelings. I don't think the scenes Mistress and I act out are particularly severe compared to some of those we've read about or have seen in video clips on the net.<br /><br />I read or watch thinking I have a pathetic tolerance level and I'm kidding myslef thant I'm some kind of CP aficianado? <br /><br />They are severe for me but Kaelah, I've seen yours and Ludwig's punihsments and they look intense to me!<br /><br />But as you say, the thing that drives us all to correspond with each each other is a fascination of corporal punishment and we should all celebrate that.<br /><br />Let's face it, one person's 100 lashes from a cat of nine-tails is another's six of the best from the school cane. Enjoy!Respecting Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00283458872041706615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-67323449028994110162011-02-13T13:15:41.787+01:002011-02-13T13:15:41.787+01:00Kaelah, that was a very comprehensive post. It'...Kaelah, that was a very comprehensive post. It's interesting that the same theme appeared in so many very different blogs. <br /><br />I really can't imagine a scene in which I am totally powerless and in the dark about what might happen next. It's simply not our dynamic, and so I can't relate. Not that I top from the bottom; we simply don't go beyond simplespanking into punishment or mind games. But Emma Jane's upcoming scene does sound frightening.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />HermioneHermionehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15395671806340391253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-90010313325399011352011-02-13T12:21:09.154+01:002011-02-13T12:21:09.154+01:00Underling, I can relate to your feeling of only be...Underling, I can relate to your feeling of only being a “spanking tourist” compared to others who seek more psychologically intense scenarios. I sometimes have that feeling as well (especially because I've got this “brave girl” kink and sometimes ask myself whether I just haven't got the guts to try the more edgy things). But lately I understand more and more that my desires are just different and that it doesn't make me a lesser spanko.<br /><br />And I think the same is true for you as well. You might not seek these intense scenes, but you have very vivid spanking fantasies which are a part of your life, and you use them to create wonderful pieces of art (stories and drawings) for your blog. I'm sure most of your readers don't see you as a tourist but rather as a tour guide, telling them exciting little stories about that big city called “Kink”. :-)Kaelahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17108718924415630397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-18003248377435948652011-02-11T12:25:12.275+01:002011-02-11T12:25:12.275+01:00Kaelah, very thought-provoking stuff - both yours,...Kaelah, very thought-provoking stuff - both yours, and the posts you linked to.<br /><br />Like you, I don't want to be 'broken' by a spanking - in fact I'm not sure it fulfils any wider psychological purpose in my life at all, beyond the immediate rush and a euphoria that lasts for a few hours afterwards. I enjoy being a little afraid, and I like to test my bravery and tolerance for pain (that is, very specific pain applied in a specific place!) Oh, and it turns me on, of course :).<br /><br />Sometimes when I read blogs by true 'lifestylers', or people who like Burl are seeking a transcendent experience, I feel a bit of a tourist by comparison. But I don't mean that to sound apologetic - there's definitely room for all of us, whatever it is we get from this. :)Underlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05796851292291694070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-44605613101193066582011-02-11T12:21:34.496+01:002011-02-11T12:21:34.496+01:00@ Burl & Erica:
It's my pleasure, thanks f...@ Burl & Erica:<br />It's my pleasure, thanks for the inspiration and thanks for stopping by! :-)<br /><br />@ Prefectdt:<br />Yep, you are right, on the one hand this is absolutely simple, for any spanking play you need trust on both sides, on the other hand the topic of trust can become quite complicated once you take a closer look... I'll write a bit about the topic from the perspective of a top in my next post!<br /><br />@ Respecting Mistress:<br />Thank you very much for stopping by and I'm honoured that my simple question inspired you. Your post is very insightful indeed and I already wrote a comment on your blog!Kaelahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17108718924415630397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-7898512860158429412011-02-10T21:58:29.531+01:002011-02-10T21:58:29.531+01:00Thank you Kaelah for such an insightful post. It&#...Thank you Kaelah for such an insightful post. It's is, as you say, all about trust and we are lucky people to have partners or friends who share out interests. I was moved by your original question to Burl and, thanks to Burl, looked into Julnick's writings. It prompted to me to write my own humble post on the subject. So I really have to thank both you and Burl for encouraging me to explore my own trhoughts more closelyRespecting Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00283458872041706615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-76535273763272978292011-02-10T21:34:07.302+01:002011-02-10T21:34:07.302+01:00The trust bonding element, in play, is one of the ...The trust bonding element, in play, is one of the most important aspects of spanking interaction. Be it between a couple in a relationship or just between playmates. It has to go both ways as well, a Top must be able to trust the bottom/sub that they are playing with to be honest and not expect crystal ball reading style intuition from the Top. Thinking about this, it is a complicated issue.<br /><br />PrefectdtSPANKEDHORTIChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01555647356077533450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-83257499457039538262011-02-10T08:26:09.497+01:002011-02-10T08:26:09.497+01:00I too am quite honored at being included and quote...I too am quite honored at being included and quoted. It really is amazing, the places we can go with those we trust. And most important, that trust can never be demanded -- it must be earned.Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02230915556455020371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-616982860776135414.post-84409562957755712232011-02-10T01:33:24.266+01:002011-02-10T01:33:24.266+01:00Thank you for the privilege of being included in y...Thank you for the privilege of being included in your insightful post. There are many essential components in a successful spanking relationship and you have addressed the component of trust eloquently.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com